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COMPLETE: A Longing Summer Night at Lake Valor (Advanceshipping)

Nanoka-kun

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"Ash do you still have this?", asked May showing Ash her half of the contest ribbon they won in the Terracota Contest.
"I sure do", replied Ash


That night at the hotel they were staying in Lake Valor,
"I can't go to sleep pikachu, I am so excited that May's back but I can't even tell her, how I feel about her." said Ash.

"Pika Pii??" replied Pikachu.

"Yeah, I know Pikachu, I should spend a little more time with her shouldn't I? After all, she is going back to Johto in 4 days." said Ash.

(Ash worked out of his hotel room and went down the hallway. Turned left at the end of the hallway into the room, May was staying in.)

Knock Knock

"Um who's there?" May answered.

"May, it's me", replied Ash.

"Hey Ash, what's wrong? Did you want to talk to me about something?" asked May.

"May it's hard for me to say this but ..." studdered Ash.

(A letter and Ash's ribbon half dropped out of his jean pockets when he crouched down.)

"What's this?" asked May.

opening the letter)

Dear May,
I missed you ever since you went to Johto to compete in contests by yourself, I wish you can join me and Pikachu again,
Signed Ash


"Oh Ash, I went to Johto because I wanted to be more like you, remember when you first came to Hoenn? You went there by yourself too. I just want to find my style and become a better coordinator just to impress you." said May.

"May, ..." replied Ash.

(they embraced each other)

"Don't worry Ash after I become the top coordinator I'll come back to you.", answered May.

"you promise?" asked Ash.

"Yes" said May.

(They kissed sealing the promise they made)
 
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Don't write it in script please. Correct that and I'll give a mroe thorough review.
 
IMO it needs to be spaced between each line, but it's in script form and the dialouge feels rushed. It's hard to read the way you've formatted it...
 
don't listen to any one who tells you this is a bad fic its awesome :) its nice and Clean i have seen so many fics involving sex and beer sometimes i wonder. How the hell do people generate these ideas from what started out to be a cartoon for kids O_O
 
don't listen to any one who tells you this is a bad fic its awesome :) its nice and Clean i have seen so many fics involving sex and beer sometimes i wonder. How the hell do people generate these ideas from what started out to be a cartoon for kids O_O

Because characters have lives beyond what we see on the screen. And it's not like babies in that world are delivered by the stork, after all.

...wait, beer? We know at least wine exists in that world, and that's anime canon.
 
don't listen to any one who tells you this is a bad fic its awesome :) its nice and Clean i have seen so many fics involving sex and beer sometimes i wonder. How the hell do people generate these ideas from what started out to be a cartoon for kids O_O

that's because Ash and May won't do it if they get together, can't say the same for Drew who has a huge sex drive for May and her chest.
 
Please note: The thread is from 17 years ago.
Please take the age of this thread into consideration in writing your reply. Depending on what exactly you wanted to say, you may want to consider if it would be better to post a new thread instead.
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