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EVERYONE: - Complete A Path To the Moon (one-shot, G)

EmeraldLeafBlade

Entranadora Pokémon
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Here's a (very) short story I wrote, inspired by looking at the stars with my Starly plushie and singing "The Path To the Moon" song.

A small, young bird-like creature looked up, her eyes widening in wonder and amazement. She ruffled her gray feathers in suspense as she looked up at the night sky. The stars dotted it like small pinpricks of light in a vast sea of darkness. Of course, there was also the round, lit sphere of the moon.

The Starly’s eyes widened further; she was focused, determined on her single goal. The moonlight cast dimly over the grassy landscape. None of the Hoothoot or Noctowl of the area noticed the small Flying-type.

The starling Pokemon ruffled the feathers of her small wings. After many bouts of trial and error, this was it. She hopped up onto the nearby tree of which she lived in. When she got to the highest branch, the Starly flapped her wings hard and jumped off of the tree.

The next thing she knew, she was falling, falling… then she hit the grassy ground with a small thump.

Making sure she was unharmed, the small bird hopped onto the tree again, on a lower branch this time. She spread her wings, the black tips almost completely obscured by the almost complete darkness of night. Hopping a bit on each foot she finally jumped off of the branch once again.

She started to fall. This time however, she kept her wings spread, and before too long she felt a draft of air beneath them. She flapped. She stayed up. She flapped again. Once again, she did not fall. She kept flapping and flapping, and soon she rose higher and higher. Finally, she soared up and out into the distance. The night breezes ruffled her feathers.

She was on a path to the moon.
 
I like this oneshot. It was short, but didn't need to be longer. Although the plot reminds me somewhat of Fly Me to the Moon, I thought you brought the story across beautifully. A young Starly, who wants nothing more than to be able to fly... I felt her pain at her failure, and rejoiced in her success at the end.

I couldn't see any spelling or grammatical errors, and you had a good balance between the background detail and the plot detail. Your description was also very well done.

Overall, a really good, short story, and I look forward to reading more of your work.
 
Please note: The thread is from 18 years ago.
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