COMPLETE: A Pokémon's Loyalty (EVERYONE)

[Shadow Victini]

Here's an old Pokémon-themed poem I wrote about a Gardevoir. I just decided to re-post it here. All the lines rhyme. Enjoy!

I am a Gardevoir, Level 40 at most,

I'm pretty strong, I think..(I don't like to boast)

I'm on no ordinary place, I'm a starter

Let me tell you about my wonderful Trainer.

She chose me when I was just a clueless Ralts,

We trained together, overcame our faults,

She is brilliant, my dearest best friend,

I vow to protect her, until the bitter end.

It happens we're now on a walk,

Looking at the passing Pokémon: Linoone, Kricketune, Sawk.

We reach the water, she says "Oh! What a beautiful lake!"

I feel overwhelming danger; are our lives at stake?

A sudden crash, a terrifying roar,

A giant Gyarados attacks my Trainer, I can't see any more,

I see his terrifying face, he attacks like a dart,

I see my Trainer's pain-stricken face; it breaks my heart.

My Trainer cries softly in her fears,

The Gyarados moves closer; to me it leers,

"Your Trainer is as good as dead."

He aims an attack straight for her head.

He better not kill her, he better not dare!

She's frozen in fear, this I cannot bear!

I vowed to protect her, 'cause I like her more than a lot,

I need to take that attack, whether I die or not!

He lunges towards her, she screams, I shield!

The Gyarados falls back, hurt by my weapon called 'Loyalty' which I wield,

He's gone, my Trainer runs over, she puts my head in her hands like a cup,

I take a long look at her face; my time is soon up.

She's crying quietly, she can't bear to say goodbye,

She looks at me tearfully, whispering "Gardevoir….please don't die!"

With my last fleeting breath, I'm so proud to say,

"I'm honoured to have been with you!", now my vision fades away…

 

[Gama]

Aww, this is a really sweet poem. Sad, of course. Poor Gardevoir - a lovely description of a Pokemon's loyalty to its trainer.

Your style of rhyming couplets worked really well but I think you might benefit from thinking about the number of syllables in each line a bit more - in parts the flow was a little jerky because a couple of the couplets had markedly different numbers of syllables to their partner.

Still, I enjoyed reading this and I hope you write more =)