A Red Leaf

[Reggaehype]

This is the story A Red Leaf, it follows the adventures of the upcoming trainer Red and the upcoming coordinator Leaf. It is based off of Pokemon Leafgreen and Firered. I encourage comments, reviews, suggestions and criticism so I can improve.

Index of chapters

Chapter 1: Their Journey Begins
Chapter 2: Viridian City Part 1
Chapter 3: Viridian City Part 2
Chapter 4: Forest Battle Breakdown



Chapter 1: Their Journey Begins

A strong wind blew down the street, Red was walking towards the lab and was excited. He was still trying to figure out which starter Pokemon he was going to choose.

"Charmander is a strong fire Pokemon and there aren't many of those in Kanto, Bulbasaur is a grass type and a poison type so it has a wide move pool but Squirtle is a water type and they are reliable..." He trailed off as he approached the large lab, he walked up to the door and knocked, after a few seconds it opened and revealed a man in his 50's who seemed eager to see him.

"Red! I'm glad you made it, your just in time. The others are already here." Professor Oak said as he led Red to the room with his friends who were waiting.

"Now that you're all here we can begin. Each of you will be getting your own Pokemon as you know. Now who wants to go first?"

"I would-" A brunette started before getting cut off.

"Gramps, let me pick first."

"Blue, you'll get your Pokemon soon enough but let your friends pick first."

"Aw, fine."

"Go Leaf." Red told his friends as he shoved her a bit towards the Pokeball.

Professor Oak took the three Pokeballs and released the Pokemon that were inside them, the three Pokemon looked up at the girl with wide eyes and hoped they would be picked.

"There all so cute!" She said as she picked up the Bulbasaur and hugged it, it was uncomfortable and struggled. She picked the Squirtle up next and hugged it too, Squirtle didn't struggle but it was shy and just let the hug go on. She picked up the Charmander and tried hugging it but was surprised when it was burned by it's flame. She set the fire Pokemon down and thought it out for a second.

"I choose... Charmander!" She announced and Professor Oak handed her a Pokeball and the Charmander nuzzled in between her legs as they waited to see what the others would do.

"Red, you're next."

The boy stepped up to the two Pokemon on the ground. He looked at each, held out a hand in front of both Pokemon and played with each and after deciding he picked up the Squirtle.

"I choose Squirtle." Red said and was handed a Pokeball.

"YES!" Blue yelled as he ran over to the Bulbasaur and picked it up, he petted it and grabbed the Pokeball from Oak and then turned to the others. "I'm going to be the best Pokemon trainer ever."

"After me." Red interjected and glared at his rival.

"Now, if you would take one of these." Oak said as he handed each a small red box. "These are Pokedexs and will greatly help you on your journeys. Now go, prepare for your departure and be careful out there."

The three trainers left the lab together, Blue was planning out his strategy and then asked Red.

"Let's test out our Pokemon, Red."

"You're on."

"Already?" Leaf asked redundantly, she shook her head and Charmander did as well.

The two rivals walked out to the field and squared off, Leaf was standing to the side of the field with her Pokemon who was excited to see a battle but her trainer was scared for the Pokemon. Squirtle and Bulbasaur were staring each other off when they waited for their trainer's to instruct them on what to do.

"Tackle!" Blue yelled to his Pokemon and the small plant Pokemon charged Squirtle.

"Squirtle, wait for it, wait for it. Now, jump!" The turtle Pokemon jumped over Bulbasaur and it crashed into a rock.

"Bulbasaur use growl." It barked at it's foe and startled it a little.

"Squirtle use tailwhip and then tackle." Squirtle wagged it's tail and then rammed Bulbasaur, it wasn't a devastating hit but it was weakening it down.

"Bulbasaur, keep using growl until it attacks."

"Squirtle tackle quick, before it growls too much." The water Pokemon ran at Bulbasaur as it growled, everyone was waiting for Blue to tell his Pokemon to do something and Red was scared for his Pokemon because Blue had a trick up his sleeve.

"Bulbasaur...dive to the side and then use tackle on it's flank."

"Squirtle don't let it dodge!" Red yelled, he knew if it dodged that Squirtle was done for.

The grass Pokemon dodged the tackle and everyone's eyes were on it, if it attacked the battle was over. It rammed into Squirtle's back, even with it's shell it was defeated.

"Squirtle!" Red exclaimed as it charged onto the field to help his Pokemon.

"Yeah, Bulbasaur. You were great." Blue praised his Pokemon.

"Red, is Squirtle okay?" Leaf asked concernedly.

"Yeah, he just needs some rest." He said as he returned his fallen friend.

"That's a relief, you did great out there and if he didn't attack Squirtle from behind you would've won.

That afternoon Red had packed his backpack and was about to set out on his journey, he was just about to leave town when he heard his name called in the distance.

"Red! Wait up." A girl yelled as she ran.

Red waited like he was told, he wanted to see what Leaf wanted before leaving even if he was eager to start his life as a Pokemon trainer.

"Are you setting off towards Viridian city?" She asked, still panting form running.

"Uh, yeah."

"Can I join you? I have to get there and register for contests."

"I guess, it couldn't hurt."

"Great! Let's go." She said as she dragged her friend, she was more excited to get going than Red.

 

[Ho-oh]

More descriptions, less dialogue. Immerse the reader. Cut short on passiveness.

He looked at each, held out a hand in front of both Pokemon and played with each and after deciding he picked up the Squirtle.

This could be re-written as "He observed each pokémon as he played with them before deciding on the squirtle.".

The species name of a pokémon should not be capitalized, since they're not proper nouns.

Also note that pokémon, when used in this fashion, isn't a proper noun either. Thus it should be pokémon and not Pokémon.

Pokémon should be written with a diacritic.

 

[White Len]

Doesn't matter if the species name is capitalized or not. For non-existant things, either will do. Although for things that actually exist...yeah, you have to stick to dragons. Anyway, Squirtle and squirtle are both generally accepted, as well as pokemon, pokémon, Pokemon and Pokémon.

Although that changes on Bulbapedia. Tch.

 

[Reggaehype]

Thanks for the reviews, I'll try to put more descriptions into my writing.

 

[Reggaehype]

Chapter 2:Viridian City Part 1

The two aspiring Pokemon trainers made small talk as they ventured towards Viridian City, both were excited and were subsequently talking about their Pokemon. Leaf had released Charmander and it was skipping along with them letting it's tail drag across the ground. Red had left Squirtle in it's pokeball so it could rest some more, he didn't want to harm him and wouldn't be able to live with himself if he seriously hurt it.

"Red, we're almost there. Look!" Leaf said as she shook him, her arm then stretched out and pointed at the city that had come into view. She took off for the Pokemon center leaving Red by himself, he continued walking at the slow pace that he was accustomed to and eventually made his way to the town. The first thing he noticed was the red roof of the center, he knew Leaf was already in there signing herself up for a Contest pass and would prefer to evade the excited girl. Instead he decided to check out the pond that was present, he decided to let Squirtle out to play and unclipped it's pokeball from his belt. He held it in his hand and looked at it, after thinking about his defeat earlier that day and how he failed his Pokemon he threw it, a white flash emitted from it and a small blue turtle-like creature appeared.

"Squirtle, squirt!" It yelped out, Red smiled at it and pointed behind it towards the pond and gestured for it to play which it responded by jumping in and splashing around. Red walked away to look at a sign that read 'VIRIDIAN CITY The Eternally Green Paradise' and smirked. He looked over at his companion and saw that it was enjoying itself, he walked back over to the pond and sat down, he looked at the Pokemon.

"Can you show me the moves you know?" He asked curiously, the turtle then jumped out the water getting Red wet and stood on grass triumphantly. It arched it's back and blew out bubbles from it's mouth which cluttered the area that they were in to the point where they couldn't see, they ran out of the area so there vision returned. Both were laughing as they ran, they came to a clearing and were about to sit down when they heard noise and a small blur sped past them. Red was ready to command Squirtle to fight, a strategy was forming in his mind but he waited to see what it was before he used it.

"Mank, mank, mankey." A small monkey said as it swung off a tree and landed in front of them, it didn't appear dangerous so Red let his guard down and took out his pokedex and pointed it at the Pokemon.

"Mankey, a Pig Monkey Pokemon of the Fighting-type. Known for its superior footwork, it packs a powerful punch. Although Mankey is usually calm, it does have a bad temper. Once Mankey begins to Thrash, stopping it is impossible" When it finished Red looked over at the Pokemon that was rummaging through his backpack that he had set down, in it were all of his belongings.

"Mankey, get out of there!" He yelled at the creature that quickly put the backpack on and jumped up into a tree. Red decided on chasing after it, he climbed up the tree and after the thief. When he got to the top he noticed that Mankey wasn't there and when he looked down he noticed that he was sitting on the ground looking through the backpack again, Red took a Pokeball he had with him and threw it in the hopes of catching the rambunctious Pokemon but it was deflected with a swift munch into a nearby bush. His only hope was to attack it now or he would lose his equipment and money.

"Squirtle, tackle." He yelled to his companion, it turned and took aim and shot at the fighting type but missed. Mankey jumped back and forth to confuse the starter before kicking at it's leg and successfully tripping it before running off. Red leaped down from the tree and to his friend who had gotten injured twice in one day, he picked him up and took him to the Pokecenter in town. When he entered the building he went straight to the counter and handed his Pokemon to the nurse that was there. He looked around for Leaf but didn't find her so he left without asking for her help, he was on his own now and realized that he couldn't depend on his friends to help solve his problems like he used to.

"How am I going to find that Mankey?" He asked himself, he had found a bench near the Pokecenter which he sat down on. Upon hearing the young boy's question a man, in his sixties approached him.

"I could help you, I instruct new trainers all the time about catching Pokemon. Here, come with me." He told Red who followed him curiously, they kept walking until they found a Weedle that was crawling around on the ground. They crept up in it, the old man took out a pokeball and threw it high in the air so it came down from above the Weedle, it didn't have a chance to escape and was sucked into the capsule, it rocked a few times before coming to a halt.

"And that's how you catch a Pokemon, now go catch that Mankey." He said as he picked up the pokeball that contained the Weedle and attached it to his belt, he turned away from the trainer and walked away. Red was left alone, he learned a lot from the old man and knew he could catch the Mankey but he had to thank the man for all the help he gave him, he ran after him and when he caught up to him he thanked him eagerly.

"Thank you for all the help, is there any way I can help you?"

"No, I am glad I could help out one last trainer before I retired, I'm moving to Cinnabar Island. I heard that there is a strange Pokemon living off the coast and I wish to check it out." He said before walking away again, Red knew he would see him again and he would ask of the mysterious Pokemon.

Red made his way back to where he first met teh Mankey, he guessed it would come back so he hid behind a bush and waited. Time went by slowly, and Red wasn't the most patient person so he was bored quickly and got up from his hiding spot as the thief Pokemon was walking by. They both paused and stopped in their tracks, eye contact was made which was the cause of Mankey's outburst, it ran at the Pokemon trainer with it's arms flailing about violently. He backed up until he was stopped by a tree, he used one arm to protect his face and grabbed a pokeball with the other, as the Mankey neared it jumped up and that when Red triggered it. He didn't know what happened because he looked around but the Mankey was gone, he looked down at the pokeball that was in his hands as it shook in his hands before stopping with a beep. Red was in awe at teh fact he caught the Pokemon without even trying, he picked up his backpack that was thrown on the ground and turned towards the Pokemon center and started walking. When he entered Nurse Joy handed him his Squirtle's pokeball which he took and placed on his belt next to the pokeball that held his Mankey and then he set off for Viridian forest which was his first true test as a Pokemon trainer.

 

[Legacy]

Good start, Raggae! The second chapter was a lot better too as far as descriptions go. Just keep it up and I think this will be a good story.

 

[Reggaehype]

Thanks, I will keep trying with the descriptions since that seems to be my worst trait as of right now. The next chapter will be about Leaf's expierience in Viridian City and I hope it will turn out as good as I imagine it to be.

 

[Reggaehype]

Chapter 3: Viridian City Part 2

"Red, we're almost there. Look!" Leaf yelped out, she grabbed onto the boy's clothes and shook him as she said so. She was obviously excited, she sprinted for the pokecenter with her Charmander following closely. When she entered the building she slowed down, the air conditioning hit her face in one powerful burst which surprised her but she welcomed the cooling breeze with a smile and so did Charmander. She looked down at the small lizard Pokemon who was looking straight back, she had always imagined that her first day as a Pokemon trainer would be amazing and so far it was.

"Char, char!" The orange skinned creature 'said' in it's innocent voice.

"Here's the plan, we're going to get a contest pass and then we're going to do some training." Her soft voice exited her mouth, her companion just nodded and turned to follow her as she walked up the counter. The pink haired woman turned to the aspiring coordinator with a bright smile on her face, her Chansey was standing next to her looking just as happy.

"Hello, what can do for you?" She asked, the Chansey mimicked her body language exactly which made Leaf giggle slightly, Charmander would have to but she was too small to see above the counter.

"I need a contest pass, please." The words escaped her eagerly, her career was about to begin and she was ready. Her mind raced with images, her in a beautiful dress with the lights shining on her and her Pokemon, she is handed a ribbon which she takes graciously. 'Yes, soon enough.' She thought to herself.

"Okay, just hand me your pokedex and I'll get to work," She told her, Leaf took out a small red book shaped object and handed it to the nurse. "It will be awhile since everybody is registering today so if you want to leave it will be ready for you when you return."

Leaf nodded and left the building, she found a flowery field to the right of the pokecenter and stood there for a moment and let the aromas invade her nostrils and linger, a light breeze was present and rippled her hair. She could she a storm of bubbles that erupted from nowhere. "That has to be Red." She said to her starter Pokemon.

"Charmander, let's start off with a simple ember and go from there." She suggested to her Pokemon who obeyed and spat out a small stream of fire. Leaf looked at the display and grinned as an idea popped into her head. "Do it again but spin as you do it." Charmander repeated the attack but spun and as she did so the flames engulfed the lizard who giggled from it. Leaf was happy with the success of the appeal and hugged her friend, she had to drop to her knees to do so. When the embrace was broken Leaf noticed a monkey type Pokemon who was scratching it's head as it looked at the two, she saw the familiar yellow backpack that it was wearing. She walked over to it and pet it's head, the Mankey seemed dazed from the entrancing flower aroma so it didn't object. She took out a peice of paper and wrote down a note and placed it in the backpack under a few things. She returned to Charmander who was confused at what had just happened but shrugged it off as Mankey ran off in a clunky manner.

"Let's just sit for awhile, we have awhile before we can leave anyway." She told her small, orange Pokemon who had objected to sitting down and instead was jumping around her. "Charmander, stop it!" She yelled playfully with laughs jumping out from her between words. Charmander stopped when instructed to but instead of sitting it jumped on it's head and started spinning which entertained Leaf for a bit. An idea sparked in her head, she could use the spinning ember technique with the head spinning talent of her Pokemon that she already had a knack for. After explaining her idea to Charmander she attempted it, she fell a couple of times from the fire knocking her off balance but she got used to it and the end result was magnificent. The fire surrounded it's tiny body and as it spun it twirled into a tornado almost, when Charmander jumped up and it broke away a few embers fell down upon it to give it a final touch of beauty.

"Nice trick." Said an arrogant voice from behind her, she recognized it and turned quickly to see him. "It might work in a contest but in a gym your precious Pokemon would be destroyed."

"Blue, go away. Shouldn't you be racing Red to the nearest gym?" She said rhetorically. She was angry with him since he had turned into a jerk in the month before receiving his first Pokemon, before he was a nice person but he had changed for the worse.

"I would but the Viridian city gym is closed, has been for awhile. The gym leader is gone and he didn't get a replacement so I am headed for Pewter city but I want to get some training in with Bulbasaur before I head out since bug types are effective against grass types." He answered ignoring the hostility in her voice. "Besides, I need to be strong if it's possible to get stronger than I am already." He said as he flexed his 'guns' which made Leaf bust out laughing.

"Fine but can you train somewhere else, actually scratch that, Charmander and I have to go get our contest pass." She sassed out at him before strutting away, Charmander copied her stride and Blue was left dumbfounded.

"Leaf, you're set and ready to compete in Kanto region contests." Nurse Joy stated as she saw the girl enter the building.

"Really?" She exclaimed, she grabbed her pokedex from the counter and put it back into her bag and then turned to her Pokemon, grabbing her pokeball she returned the lizard for some rest. She looked out a window, she decided on a walk to take in the sights. She saw Blue throwing rocks in the air with Bulbasaur hitting them with it's Vine Whip. She saw someone entering Viridian Forest, assuming it was Red so she turned back to the Pokecenter as her friends were doing fine which settled her nerves a little. In a few days she had her first contest and was anxious and nervous, she still needed to work with Charmander to get ready for it and she planned on catching a few more Pokemon which she thought about using too. She was tired even if it wasn't that late, she planned on setting out early to concur the forest so she needed to rest. After setting up in a room in the Pokemon center she got into her pajamas, laid down in the bed and closed her eyes. Falling asleep fast the dream was about her, Red and Blue on boat. They were the only ones on it and they were adrift in the middle of an ocean. Red and Blue bickered back forth blaming each other while Leaf found a book on captaining a ship and got them to safety. When they hit land both Red and Blue started arguing about who had saved them before Leaf slapped them both and walked away.

 

[Ho-oh]

Use a comma instead of a period.

"YOHOHOHO," he said.

Not

"YOHOHOHO." he said.


Anyways, are you going to post that other story where Ash commits suicide? That one was awesome. I wanted to strangle Dawn for doing that to him.

 

[Reggaehype]

I always forget the rule with commas and periods but I will try harder. I might post that story but I have to edit it a little bit first.

Updates:
I have gotten a beta reader, I sent the next chapter out and it will be grammatically correct I guess.

The next chapter is about Reds journey through Viridian Forest and there will be a battle with a pesky bug catcher.

Mankey gets some "screen" time.

 

[Reggaehype]

Chapter 4: Forest Battle Breakdown

Red didn't realize how big the forest was, it was massive and the path led to a lot of dead ends. He adjusted his collar and looked around him, the emerald green of the grass, the rustling of the branches, the feint sound of water rushing through a river. He loved the feel of it, it was a little scary being all alone except for his Pokemon but he was glad that he had made it, he was a Pokemon trainer which had been his dream all of his life and he was living that dream. He unclipped a Pokeball and through it at the ground, a beam of light shined for a second before subsiding to reveal a blue turtle-like Pokemon. It quickly jumped up and climbed onto red's back who only laughed as it did so. He unzipped his backpack to get his map out when he found a small peice of paper, he wondered what it was as he unfolded it. A smile beamed as he read it, it was only three simple words but they meant the world to the ambitious trainer.

Good luck, Red.

He kept talking to Squirtle as he walked, he was making pretty good time as the sun was just setting and he was almost out of the forest. A bush rustled in front of them and Red stopped, he waited for whatever was making the sounds to reveal it self and when it did a small green cocoon rolled out, he realized that it was just a Metapod. He pulled out his pokedex and pointed it at it.

"Even though it is encased in a sturdy shell, the body inside is tender. It can't withstand a harsh attack," Red nodded and continued walking, he didn't have any pokeballs with him so he couldn't catch it. The Metapod hopped along with him, Red just ignored it and hoped it would go away.

"Metapod," Someone yelled from Red's side, he turned to see a kid with a straw hat on with a net resting on his shoulder. "Are you trying to steal my Metapod?" The kid bellowed out as it ran at him and picked up his Pokemon.

"No, it was following me," Red was trying to avoid conflict with the boy, he needed to make it out of the forest before sun down or he would have to camp out and he didn't feel like it.

"Oh, sure. Why don't you and that skimpy Squirtle of yours just run on home now, this forest is for serious trainers not you wannabees," He spat this out and Red had to restrain himself from punching him, Squirtle had already jumped off of his shoulder and was ready to fight.

"Let's settle this with a Pokemon battle, 2 on 2 alright with you?" Red asked, he regretted saying 2 on 2 because he hadn't tested Mankey's strengths yet and Squirtle still needed to train his bubble.

"Fine with me, Metapod you ready," He asked, the Metapod stayed motionless and totally oblivious to it's surroundings. "That's the spirit!"

The battlefield was an open field that was hidden deep within the forest. A few rocks were scattered about but mostly it was flat. Metapod and Squirtle were standing opposite of each other, Metapod was mellow but Squirtle was anxious.

"Metapod use harden," The boy yelled out as he looked at Red who was calm and collected which only made him more nervous.

"Squirtle use tackle," Red said confidently, he knew Squirtle had the battle won already.

Metapod turned white for a second while squirtle ran at it and threw it's shell at it knocking it back a few feet. Metapod rolled back up and eyed Squirtle, Squirtle was circling it because it could mostly.

"Metapod use harden again, we might win this," The bug catcher said, Red grinned as he realized that his opponent didn't even realize that harden wasn't and offensive move.

"Squirtle use tackle again, take your time though because Metapod isn't much of a threat."

Squirtle did as it was told and waited for the opportunity to strike, it picked after it used harden again. Once again it charge it and hit it with his shell with knocked it out. Red smiled and squirtle jumped around happily. The bug catcher returned the fallen Pokemon and grabbed a pokeball and threw it, a white light flashed and a bee Pokemon appeared.

"Beedrill, attack fast with pin missile," He commanded, hundreds of tiny white pins were launched at Squirtle who didn't have a chance to react and was hit by every projectile. He struggled back to his feet and took dead aim.

"Squirtle use bubble," Red said, he knew that there was a chance that it would just create harmless bubbles but he needed to do something. Squirtle shot out as many bubbles as he could but they just weren't enough.

"Pop those bubbles with another pin missile," Beedrill shot out more pins and pooped the bubbles but also hit Squirtle, he tried to get up but collapsed. A fear shot through him as he returned Squirtle and threw out Mankey's pokeball, this is what he was afraid of but the needed to do it. The monkey Pokemon jumped around swinging it's arms around.

"Mankey use scratch," Mankey ran at the bee Pokemon and jumped, it kicked it in it's face. Red stomped his foot and yelled. "Mankey, use scratch!"

The monkey just jumped around Beedrill and played with it as the bee couldn't hit it. It finally leaped up and scratched it's head until it fell to the ground and was knocked out. Both trainers returned their Pokemon, Red was angry at his Mankey and the bug catcher was laughing at Red.

"You can't even control your Pokemon," He kept laughing as he walked away, Red just kept quiet and made his way out of the forest.

When he exited it he was relieved, it was dark but he could see the pokecenter which he quickly entered and got his Pokemon healed. He looked out the window and saw the Pokemon gym which he would be challenging the next day. He knew he would be using Squirtle because it's type advantage but if it was knocked out he needed to be able to control Mankey, he was strong but reckless which a Gym leader would take advantage of. He just put it out of his mind as laid down in the bed that was provided in one of the rooms. He didn't sleep though, he was too stressed out, he needed to figure out how to gain Mankey's trust and respect and that's when he figured it out.

"I got it," He exclaimed and jumped out of bed, a huge smile was on his face but it quickly disappeared when he peered out of the window.