A True Calling

[some colour no doubt]

Prologue:

“Please sir! We have no more!”

The two elderly shop owners were cowering in the corner of their small wooden store, desperately trying to plead with the huge man whose features were hidden by shadows.

“ I know your lying!” the man roared, “ Perhaps all you need is a little......persuasion..” A bright light illuminated the store, and a huge, human shaped thing came out of it. It skin was a greyish colour, and its flexed its four arms in anticipation.

“Maaaaaachamp” it said. Slowly, the Pokémon began to approach the couple cracking its knuckles eagerly.

“Now, unless you can find a little more cash, Machamp here is going to hurt you, and at your age, I don't think you could afford any broken bones, could you?”

“okay okay!” the elderly man squealed, he stepped forward and pulled up one of the small wooden floorboards, from which he pulled out a small grey sack. He threw it to the man. “Now that is all we have, so please, just leave us alone.”

The man had caught the sack and peeked inside. “Very nice” he stated, “but you should have told me this before, and for holding out on me, you must be punished” he chuckled, “Machamp, break the man's arm”

“MAAAAACHAMP!!!!”

The old man's expression dropped into fear “Nooo! Please!” he pleaded, but the Machamp or its owner would not listen. There was a collosal crack! As the bone in the man's arm split plain in two. He screamed on agony, then fell silent as he blacked out. His wife rushed forward to help her husband.

“Why do you do this?” she cried “What have we ever done to you?” she looked up at the figure who loomed over her like a mountain.

“Machamp, return” a beam of red light connected with the pokémon as it returned to its pokéball. “Done?” the man boomed out laughter. “well you have done nothing, and the simple fact is we do this because we can” Laughing again at the frightened expression on the woman's face he stepped outside of the store.

How quaint and peaceful the small town looked he thought. A collection of 30 or so small wooden buildings were spaced around the main road, which he now stood on. In the distance, at the end of the road, two mountains stood, like dual sentinels. It was from the features that the town got its name. “Twin Peak Town” he said to no one in particular, then spat on the floor. He then shouted out “Men we are leaving!”

From the buildings, a group of men assembled in front of him. They were a motley bunch, numbering at about 15, ranging from the strong looking for a way to exploit people and the weak seeking protection. From this group, a small weasel looking man walked forward. “we have made a good haul today boss” he said.

The 'boss' looked down on him and couldn't help but grimace. Even the way this man moved and spoke reminded him of a rodent. “Good” he said. He then shouted out to the populace, “We will be back people of Twin Peak, in exactly two weeks!” and with that, the gang left the town down the road from once they came, leaving nothing but the promise that they would return.....






Yh, this is my first try at something like this, so do the usual, rate, review, critize etc. Im currently working on the following chapters, so yh, just let me know what you think!

 

[Anthony Von Hertzon]

Its quite interesting and I wish there was more. Already questions are brewing in my mind. Who are these men? Why are they plundering the town? Why would they return to twin peak? Its a really nice piece of work in my opinion, and it would be nice to see more.

*subscribes*

 

[some colour no doubt]

Chapter 1: In Defence of Innocents

Tsume squinted painfully as the morning sun. Beside him, the white lump of fur began to stir as well. “Morning Ninetales” he said as he scratched the pokémon behinds it ears.

The pokémon stretched out like a cat, yawning. Looking away from his faithful companion, he surveyed the settings around him. He was camped under a lone oak tree in a large valley. Each of the four mountains that surrounded him were topped with a crust of snow, and at his level a large field of emerald green grass stretched as far as the eye could see.

“Beautiful” he smiled, then began to search through his pack for some breakfast. He frowned at what he saw, as he barely had enough provisions to get him to the end of the week.

Sighing, he pulled out a map from the side pocket of his bag and looked for the nearest settlement. He found a small village that was just on the other side of the nearest pair of mountains, but the name of the town had been smudged by something. Pulling him self upright he began to get ready his trekking gear.

He wore simple black leggings, that went over his calf high walking boots, for a top it was a simple plain black t-shirt. Over the top of this he wore a floor length full body cloak. It was probably the most valuable piece of clothing he owned, it was pure white, almost the same colour as his ninetales, and it included a hood that covered and protected his face from the harsher side of the elements.

After feeding himself and his Ninetales, Tsume picked up all his gear, made sure he had his additional pokéballs on his hip, and began the trek to this unknown town.

By later that evening he was passing between the two peaks that told him that he was close to the village, if his map was correct of course. Standing at the top of the valley, he looked down at the small settlement below him. The village was layed out in a rough circular shape, with a larger collection of buildings centred around the single road than ran straight down the centre.

It took him another 20 minutes to reach the edge of the village, and he was surprised that when people saw him, they changed direction and went inside their house's. He felt like he was in a western as he walked down the deserted centre road. The rough wooden buildings seemed to tower over him and his Ninetales.

His pokémon undoubtedly felt uncomfortable as well, as it was looking around nervously, and the tuft of fur on its head was standing upright, something that only normally happened before trouble occurred. People had said that Ninetales possessed certain psychic powers, and Tsume and seen his do many inexplicable things, so when Ninetales got nervous, he got nervous.

“Its okay Nine” he tried to reassure his pokémon. “Look there's a market here” Tsume gestured toward a wooden building with a blue roof. “Lets grab what we need and get out of here”

However, before he could enter the shop, he heard a blood curdling scream from down the street. The scream made him jump out of his skin, and he turned to face the direction of the noise, preparing himself for anything.

The source of the noise became apparent, as a woman was sprinting down the street, and she was covered with cuts, her clothes were ripped, and he long brown hair flowed freely behind her. Her distress became apparent as well, as a formidable looking Raticate came out from one of the houses, with what looked like scraps of the woman's clothes in its claws.

Following the Raticate came a man, a who himself looked like a rat himself. From his large pointed nose to his prominent two front teeth, all aspects of the man reminded Tsume of a rodent.

“Why do you run my sweet” the rat man said, he then cackled. Evidently he had not seen Tsume, as all his focus was on this woman. The woman continued to run down the street towards Tsume, and, as she was looking backwards, ran straight into him.

Tsume felt the wind being pushed out of his stomach as the full woman's weight fell on him. The woman seemed to be in shock, and now she was close up, he could see the full extent of her injuries. Her legs were covered in numerous gashes, and one large cut stretched from her right shoulder to her left hip. Seeing these injuries, Tsume became enraged, and felt the venom in his soul rising up, and all of his fury was now directed at the woman's assailant.

Standing up, he strolled into the middle of the street, with Ninetales by his side. His pokémon looked just as furious as he did, except the result was much more terrifying. All nine of it's tales stood on end at their full length, and the fur down the length of its back stood on end, making it look much bigger. Her face was pulled into a feral snarl, and flames were beginning to spill out of the edges of her mouth.

“You think you can take me boy???”, the rat man laughed again, “look at you, your barely out of nappies!!” He continued to laugh, and his Raticate began to laugh along with him.

“I'll give you one chance” Tsume spoke clearly, “leave this place, and no one has to get hurt” The two trainers now stood behind there pokémon, and a distance of about 20 metres lay between them. The town was deathly quiet, only punctuated by the sound of the man laughing.

“Me get hurt by you?” the man continued to laugh, “that's a good one!”, his face suddenly turned serious, and a mad glint was in his eye, “I think I should teach you a lesson, Raticate, hyper fang!!!!” the man yelled, and the Raticate began to hurtle down the distance between it and Ninetales.

Ninetales easily dodged the attack by rolling to its left, and the Raticate plunged head first into the soft earth.

“Ninetales, use flamethrower!” Ninetales pulled its head back, and then bellowed out a blast of flame that lasted 5 seconds. When the inferno had finished, the Raticate had fainted. “now leave” Tsume said, “ before I let ninetales barbecue what's left of your pokémon.”

“My Raticate!!! Nooooooo” the rat man sunk down to his knees, “Return”. He looked up at Tsume with pure fury in his eyes “you won't get away with this!” He stood up “this won't be the last you here from me!” he then ran down the street, and out of the town.

Tsume then ran over to the injured woman. “Are you all right?” he asked. On second glance, her injuries weren't to bad, as most of them were long cuts, but only shallow. The woman glanced up at him, and Tsume felt like he was being pierced by her emerald eyes.

“You stood up to him? You made him go away?” she asked. She seemed to be frightened, and when Ninetales came closer, she cowered in fear.

“Hey hey its okay, she won't hurt you” Tsume spoke softly, as the woman's reaction to his pokémon worried him. Normally, people were happy to see pokémon, and one such as ninetales normally sparked great interest. “look she's harmless, you can stroke her if you want, just don't touch the tails.”

The woman stretched out a tentative hand toward Ninetales, and when she first came into contact with her, she withdrew quickly. But, gathering her confidence, she layed a hand on Ninetales back, and let out a sigh of relief. “I never thought I'd see the day when I would lay my hand on a pokémon”

“What do you mean?” Tsume was shocked “why are you scared of pokémon?”

Before the woman could answer a voice came over “Claire! What are you doing! Get away from that, it could kill you!!”

yay next chapter at last lol
yh, rate, review, critise etcetc
second chapter will be up at some point.

 

[Barb]

You have good storytelling ability (the first chapter was great in terms of plot) but you need to be a little more descriptive. Most of your paragraphs are two sentences or less. Try and stretch it out a little more to give readers a better sense of place and of what's going on.

 

[some colour no doubt]

thanks for the tip I'll try and work it in
this is my first go at something like this so i didnt expect it to be perfect