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EVERYONE: - Complete Absence of Light

Jude

polyethylene
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Feb 3, 2003
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Yes. Well. Here we go. I motivated myself to get something new done; and I know it's not very long so I apologise for that. I'm just trying to get back into the flow of things, hmm?

Anyway. This is more Sakaki pointlessness. Don't you just adore him?

Absence of Light

'Sakaki?' Domino asks softly, and then you turn from the window and look at her; she stands in the hallway, just in the doorway, the lights on behind her and she looks like a ghost with her shining halo. You laugh because the room is dark, and you can only see the shadows on her face. And she's more like a demon than an angel: her halo is held up by her horns.

'Yes?' you sit down on your chair by your desk, the window just slightly open; the breeze is icy cold and the City of Rains continues to live up to its name. The clouds are dark as they circle—the weather station warning gusts of up to…—

She smiles. 'There's a report for you, on channel five.'

You nod—

When she's at the doorway she turns, 'oh,' she says, 'you might want to shut the window. We're closing down the outside of the base because of the wind warnings. We might have to shut down communication.'

—again.

The door slams behind her.

'Yes?' you pick up channel five.

'Boss,' comes Musashi's voice, 'we've managed to—'

And suddenly it all makes sense. Her report's not very interesting in the long run and eventually you lean against your chair, stare out your window and the clouds are circling and utterly black: there's no Sun left at all, and the light's gone far, far away. 'Does that sound right?' she asks, and you nod and then realise that she can't see you—laugh to mock yourself—

'Yes,' you say. 'Yes, that sounds fine.'

There's a click, because she didn't even say goodbye.

You laugh, because maybe she's like her mother, but then she's more like her father; more like you, because you're her father and she doesn’t even know that. You laugh to mock yourself again, tap your fingers on the top of the desk and the breeze that's coming in the window is now could still.

You would have climbed to the top of the building and looked out had you not been able to blow away.

'Uncle?'

Domino's at the door again. Yamato and Kosaburo standing next to her; that doesn’t matter: 'Yes?' you ask.

'We've got a problem,' and you sit up in your chair.

'Do tell.' You say.

She speaks: you listen. Later, it doesn't make much of a different.

—later, they don't expect to find your body floating down a river and they don't expect to put Hanako on trial; she seemed so sweet, you know? But then, you never expected it anyway. Standing on the bridge and smelling the sweet air, standing on the bridge and—

Getting your head blown off.

You would have laughed, because it was more something you'd do.

But you didn't do it, and that was the point.
 
Pretty good work there, and again a nice demonstration of your ability to wield 2nd-person poitn of view with great efficiency. I really liked this one ; it seemed to have such a natural flow to it.

All in all, great job, and welcome back! :-)
 
Blacky: Yep, and you know why. But then, it's complicated.

B: Thanks bro, :) I'm such a flow freak with my works these days it's almost hilarious.

And then somehow not.

Hmm.
 
Dark.

But I guess I expected that.

Very nice for something so short.

*Agrees with Damian about the flow*

There aren't too many 2nd person point of view fics, and this was handled well.

Good work.
^_^

*Is scared by the angle of BG's pic*
 
:D
*hugs Gio*
Poor dead-Gio.
Anyway...
Nice job with the point of view... It really is quite intruiging. *also reminds me of a comment King's The Stand about Harold's writing, but that's just... a random observation*
Shibbyful!
Yes, I know I'm not much help but hell... 'Tis very nice.
Oh, and I'm much amused by Blackjack's pic...
Maybe THAT one could be an icon...
 
Very, very nice, lil'bro ^_^ Took a little while adjusting to the second person for some reason, but I guess because it just took my mind a while to figure out how to be reading it(as you being the reader, or as it being more of a... talking to someone else type you).

Other than that minor problem in the beginning, it flowed very well, as said, with the breaks in the flow working toward a greater cause, and I thought the ending was cool. ^^ Great job Toge ^_^ And sorry if this reply sounds off in anyway. I'm not at my most lucid state of mind ^^
 
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