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TLDR; i've had a multi-chapter fic in planning on and off for over a full year now and i just cannot seem to finalize the outline or actually start writing it, despite still being really into the concept and my own ideas, and i'm looking for advice or insight into how you all manage to write multi-chapter/longer works.
for context, when i was younger i was so into writing that i considered trying to be a professional novelist when i got older and my recreational writing hobby was on the same level of importance to me as digital visual art. then around age 13 or 14 i was completely bullied out of writing and did not write at all for multiple years. in recent years, mostly because of getting into pokemon horizons, i've started dabbling in writing again and have managed to write a handful of oneshots, though not very often. it's been enjoyable, but i still struggle to work on a piece of writing for more than a couple sessions without dissociating from it and being unable to continue. also, whenever i post a piece of writing i often anxiously reread it like 10 times in case i've posted something with obvious typos or characterization "errors", then hole up having anxiety about it for 24 hours afterwards, terrified that i've written something awful and that people are going to point out to me how awful it is... even though the reception of my writing has been overall positive! and also i do not struggle with this with my artwork at all!
as a result my struggles with writing a multi-chapter fic are twofold: for one, i'm just not used to working on projects for longer periods of time and i'm really not sure how i want to schedule out my writing. at the very least i have been making an outline so i'm not just writing off the top of my head, but time management especially while i'm in college feels a little scary/overwhelming. and two, i just have such deepset anxiety about my writing being terrible or that other people are going to attack me for it (even though i know this is unfounded) that it often paralyzes me away from not just posting my work, but also just working on it by myself. i've done a lot of my planning for this fic i want to write in casual discord conversations that are then organized and moved into a document because just having a formal document open made for writing planning can give me anxiety and shut down my ability to write.
i don't want to write the best fic ever or knock it out of the park on my first go, i just want to have the confidence to make it and put it online at all...!
if anyone has any insight, advice, or assurance on this topic i'd super appreciate it. i really look up to the dedication and courage of writers on this forum. no pressure of course though...!
for context, when i was younger i was so into writing that i considered trying to be a professional novelist when i got older and my recreational writing hobby was on the same level of importance to me as digital visual art. then around age 13 or 14 i was completely bullied out of writing and did not write at all for multiple years. in recent years, mostly because of getting into pokemon horizons, i've started dabbling in writing again and have managed to write a handful of oneshots, though not very often. it's been enjoyable, but i still struggle to work on a piece of writing for more than a couple sessions without dissociating from it and being unable to continue. also, whenever i post a piece of writing i often anxiously reread it like 10 times in case i've posted something with obvious typos or characterization "errors", then hole up having anxiety about it for 24 hours afterwards, terrified that i've written something awful and that people are going to point out to me how awful it is... even though the reception of my writing has been overall positive! and also i do not struggle with this with my artwork at all!
as a result my struggles with writing a multi-chapter fic are twofold: for one, i'm just not used to working on projects for longer periods of time and i'm really not sure how i want to schedule out my writing. at the very least i have been making an outline so i'm not just writing off the top of my head, but time management especially while i'm in college feels a little scary/overwhelming. and two, i just have such deepset anxiety about my writing being terrible or that other people are going to attack me for it (even though i know this is unfounded) that it often paralyzes me away from not just posting my work, but also just working on it by myself. i've done a lot of my planning for this fic i want to write in casual discord conversations that are then organized and moved into a document because just having a formal document open made for writing planning can give me anxiety and shut down my ability to write.
i don't want to write the best fic ever or knock it out of the park on my first go, i just want to have the confidence to make it and put it online at all...!
if anyone has any insight, advice, or assurance on this topic i'd super appreciate it. i really look up to the dedication and courage of writers on this forum. no pressure of course though...!