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TEEN: - Complete As Good As Gone

Joined
Oct 29, 2024
Messages
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Pronouns
  1. He/Him
A young man seeks to strengthen his Pokémon with an unconventional meal.

This work is submitted for the 2025 Winter Roundtable event, incorporating the theme "City Secrets."

content warnings: cigarettes, allusions to violence and death



Beneath the shade of the mountains, the winter air held still and frigid in the late afternoon of Mistralton City. Urban life quieted at this time of year, the streets empty as the sun set before the evening hours. Even with the first snowfall of the season yet to come, a stark gloom seemed to permeate the concrete and brick of the city's fabric.

Through this chilling atmosphere, on a placid road towards the western outskirts of town, a Pokémon bounded down the pavement. Grotesque and malodorous, its swart and rugged hide rippling and rolling with each footfall, Trucy appeared an archetypal example of a Garbodor. Its visage, wide eyes and open maw set against the turgid remains of a dark green trash bag, pivoted wildly to meet its surroundings.

Accompanying behind was Trucy’s Trainer, a young man named Duncan. Unbothered by his Pokémon’s inexhaustible enthusiasm or vile stench, he wore a blue argyle sweater under a maroon hoodie, though the wispy mustache and constellation of pimples on his face betrayed his youth despite his fashion sense.

At the side of the road was a junkyard enclosed by a chain link fence. Upon reaching its gate, the pair slowed to pass through and enter. Amidst the brush and rows of wrecked cars, a young woman with teal hair in a gray jumpsuit leaned against a signpost, smoking a cigarette. Pinned to the jumpsuit was a nametag, scuffed and scratched, that identified her as Hannah.

Haltingly, Duncan spoke up. “Excuse me, could you help me?”

Hannah plucked the cigarette from her mouth and exhaled without turning to face Duncan. “With what?”

“I was looking to see if you had any auto wreckage that you could part with. I’m a Pokémon Trainer raising a Garbodor, and I was looking for something nasty to feed it.”

“Can’t you go to the dump?” she asked.

Duncan shook his head. “Landfills don’t like to deal with Garbodor. Besides…” He trailed off a bit before explaining. “We lost to Skyla the other day and I’d like to get back at her.”

Hannah raised an eyebrow but didn’t respond.

Duncan continued. “Cars are full of hazardous materials. Electrical, gas, metals. Those make Garbodor’s poison more toxic. It’d help give us an edge in the rematch.”

Hannah paused for a moment. The cloud of apathy receded as a slight smile crept across her face. “Skyla’s a real piece of work. I’d love to stick it to her.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” The slight smile turned abruptly into a grimace as she took another puff of the cigarette. “One of my ex-boyfriends cheated on me with her.” She then turned to Trucy, who had been waiting patiently next to Duncan, and spat the smoldering butt into the Pokémon’s expectant mouth.

Hannah stood up straight, to which Duncan stepped back instinctively, and resumed speaking. “We got a bad wreck in just today from the insurance auction. Some rich guy slammed into a tree. Awful crash, dude died, car is totaled. Nothing worth taking and no one wants to touch it. Your Garbodor can have at it. It’s this way.”

Hannah turned to her right and strode briskly through a row of wreckage. Duncan hesitated briefly, looking at Trucy, before turning to his left and following behind. Trucy let out a belch of smoke, which briefly flickered with the cigarette butt’s remnant embers, and tagged along behind its Trainer.

“Your name?” she called back to him.

“It’s Duncan. You’re Hannah?” he responded.

“Yep. And Garbodor’s?”

“Trucy.”

“Got any other Pokémon?”

“Mark and Phil, er, Maractus and Frillish. But I left them back at the Trainers’ Hostel.”

The three tread on through the junkyard. Hannah attempted to keep the conversation afloat.

“So what kinds of trash does Trucy usually eat?”

“Trucy wants anything you don't,” Duncan remarked. “When I was younger, I had a messy bedroom, and one day I found Trucy in there. Don’t know how she got in, but she had eaten some soda cans and the dust on the shelves. But she’s pretty good about leaving things alone if she knows you want to hang on to them.”

Trucy gurgled in assent. A tube on the tip of its tumid right arm dripped a green fluid, and a narrow trail of scorch marks in the dirt denoted the Pokémon’s wake.

“I think she might have eaten my baby teeth,” Duncan added.

“You know what’s in dust?” Hannah asked.

“No? I’ve never thought about it.”

“It’s mostly dead skin cells. They flake off your body and pile up.”

“So Trucy’s been eating me?”

“Just the bits you weren’t too attached to,” Hannah chuckled.

Duncan didn’t respond to that remark. Soon, Hannah stopped at what looked to be a particularly brutal wreck of what was once a blue car of some kind, then turned to face Duncan and Trucy.

“Do what you want with this one. You’re a nice kid, so it’s on the house. François will help you bust it up.”

As Hannah gestured to the scrapped vehicle, she produced a Poké Ball from her jumpsuit pocket and tossed it lightly, releasing an insect Pokémon covered in gray armor with a red fringe above the helmet. Its arms were spears with red stripes.

“Hit it, François.”

The Escavalier lunged at the wreck with right arm extended and swung around, tearing the passenger side door off and heaping what was left of the engine's components on top, then withdrew. Debris poured out from underneath the crumpled hood of the former vehicle.

On top of the pile of broken parts was the car's battery, punctured by François’ pike and leaking acid. Trucy waddled towards it, lifted the battery with both arms, widened its jaws, then swallowed the battery whole. It went down noiselessly and left no trace. The battery was followed by a fistful of broken glass, which made a horrific grinding noise as it was ingested.

As it noshed on the mangled auto parts, Trucy’s body bloated and bulged, causing its hide to creak and groan under the strain, while the tubes at the ends of its arms frothed with a pale yellow foam. The pastel-colored pustules that adorned its body throbbed chaotically, almost threatening to burst.

“The driver’s seat looks like it’s unstable. Can you pull that out?” Hannah asked.

“Sure thing,” replied Duncan. He walked around Trucy and its meal, careful to give them a wide berth, and, with some effort, yanked the back of the crushed driver’s seat out of the collapsed cabin and lifted it. Something on the headrest caught his eye in the dim twilight. Though the leather upholstery was ripped and torn, some sections seemed to be uniquely rippled and bubbled. Duncan squinted and touched the surface, then realized: this was the result of an Acid Spray attack, like those that Trucy used.

As he ejected the headrest from the top of the seat, Duncan deliberated on what this meant. Didn’t this wreck come from an auction or something? Shouldn’t someone else have noticed this? How would an Acid Spray be used in the car, anyway? He knew that Trubbish and Garbodor could learn the move, but would someone really want to drive with one in the passenger seat? It didn’t make sense. Unless it was from another Pokémon…

“You gonna feed that to Trucy?” Hannah asked, interrupting Duncan’s train of thought.

“I think…” Duncan stumbled, choosing his words carefully. There was another Pokémon that used Acid Spray that was also small and nimble enough to have conceivably entered a moving vehicle. “I think an Accelgor may have attacked the person who drove this car.”

Hannah frowned. “What makes you say that?”

“This part looks like it was hit by an Acid Spray,” Duncan responded. “It's a move those Pokémon can use.”

“Let me see that. François, a little help, please.”

Dutifully, the Escavalier approached Duncan, skewered the headrest he had been holding, then pivoted toward Hannah. Hannah pulled the headrest from François’ lance until it fell off, then turned to Trucy and shoved the piece into its gaping mouth.

“What? Isn’t that–” Duncan stuttered.

“Don't strain your brain, kid,” Hannah smirked. “It's a free lunch. There's nothing for you to know.”

“But, it–”

“The mademoiselle enjoyed her delicious meal at Café Casse, non?” she mocked, her taunt dipping into a Kalosian accent.

Trucy bobbed its head and drooled. Flecks of saliva, tinted a sickly green, spluttered from its mouth and stained the ground beneath it.

Hannah sneered at Duncan. “You and Trucy have been so helpful in disposing of this mess. It would be a shame if François here had to get… more involved. You do want to stick around to challenge the Gym Leader, don't you?”

Duncan gulped and nodded silently. Trucy let out a rumbling yelp.

Now Hannah was grinning widely. “Let's see what kind of poison Trucy’s cooked up.” From the interior pocket of her jumpsuit, she plucked a magazine bearing a glossy photo of Skyla on its cover. With a flick of her wrist, Hannah flung it skyward, sending it sailing above Trucy.

Trucy grimaced and held its distended right arm straight upwards, braced with its left arm, and fired a brown, viscous Sludge Bomb at the airborne publication, engulfing it and dissolving it. The rancid blob burst as forcefully as it had been ejected into a shower of wretched globules. Standing amidst this noxious flurry, Trucy threw its head back and howled. On a curb somewhere in the streets of Mistralton, beneath the ascent of the crescent moon, a clutter of Trubbish howled back.
 
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My review:

This was a delightful read. The descriptions were evocative and immersive, really made it easy to feel the mood of the city.
The only small detail that I did not like was the repetition of the phrase "urban life" in the first paragraph.
I found the characterization of Trucy the garbodor quite humorous, it made her very likable to me. Even though, well, it is a literal trash Pokemon.
Duncan was quite smart, making a quick deduction on the spot like that. I wonder what actually happened to that car owner? I would say that the theme of "City Secrets" was well incorporated here, since I would love to solve this mystery... Alas, it seems that all clues disappeared in Trucy's stomach... Hannah seems like an interesting character, and you showed it well through the way she speaks.
This feels like a prologue to a detective story.
Imagining a pack of howling trubbish and garbodors made me laugh a lot.
Overall, I enjoyed this! Merry Winter Roundtable to you!
 
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Okay. Here is my Review:

The story, “As Good As Gone,” was an enjoyable read. It was nice to see attention given to a Pokémon that is largely ignored, Trubbish and Garbodor. Considering the focus on Garbodor, I tend to get the sense that basically it was Duncan’s first partner/starter. The fact that Duncan has only a Maractus and Frillish made me wonder if Skyla is the first Gym he took on.

Setting up for a rematch against Skyla is an interesting choice, since she is not considered very challenging on a game level, though perhaps if dealing with her on a real life basis, she might be more challenging. Hard to say of course. I had to laugh a bit with Hannah saying that one of her exes cheated with Skyla. Is she really that attractive?

I liked that the story had a mystery/detective noir flair. Seeing the solving of the mystery would be nice. I would like to see the story continue. Very nicely done. I think you did a great job!
 
This was a delightful read. The descriptions were evocative and immersive, really made it easy to feel the mood of the city.
The only small detail that I did not like was the repetition of the phrase "urban life" in the first paragraph.
Thank you! Yeah lol I could've stood to give this another editing pass or five.
The story, “As Good As Gone,” was an enjoyable read. It was nice to see attention given to a Pokémon that is largely ignored, Trubbish and Garbodor. Considering the focus on Garbodor, I tend to get the sense that basically it was Duncan’s first partner/starter. The fact that Duncan has only a Maractus and Frillish made me wonder if Skyla is the first Gym he took on.
Thank you! I'm not sure if Duncan's taken on other Gyms yet, but since he's got Pokémon from the desert and the sea, I'd think he's done some traveling before showing up in Mistralton.
 
Here's my review of "As Good As Gone":

You did a wonderful job with the description, particularly with that opening. You set the scene and ambience nicely it sets the tone for the rest of the story. Every little bit of detail plays into the story and works to culminate in what feels like an open-ended conclusion.

Using Garbodor was an interesting choice; it's not a Pokemon that many people would feel attached to. But here, I love Trucy. She's got personality and just really feels like a wonderful partner. I'm not saying now I want to go out and hug a pile of garbage, but I'm now thinking twice about this often overlooked Pokemon.

This does feel like the start of something more. Duncan's certainly got a mystery on his hands and I'd love to see more. There is something going on here and I don't trust Hannah one bit (I have my own theories about her), so I certainly feel the uneasiness that Duncan does. I can see the tension building throughout this fic with the way you use certain words and phrases: the winter air, "stark gloom," the scratched nametag. I grow more and more uneasy as I read and I just want it to be over (in a good way!)

I've got chills. Good job.
 
I don’t know if it was intentional, but using “nasty” instead of “tasty” was the most galaxy brain wordplay I’ve ever seen.

The descriptions were sickeningly evocative. You play with Garbodor and related worldbuilding really well. The world and characters feel so alive.

The ending threw me for a loop, but when I realized what was going on, my eyes widened with “oh shit”. Did Hannah kill the driver? Is she going to kill Skyla???
 
I really like the descriptions of Trucy throughout this story. The belches, the groans, and the frothing not makes it not just possible for the reader to imagine what Trucy looks like, but how she sounds as she walks around and acts. I hadn't thought too hard about what a Garbodor would be like before, but after reading, I think it's pretty spot on.

I found Duncan's realization that Trucy has been eating him indirectly through the dust in his room is pretty amusing. It's one way the story succeeds at balancing a gross subject matter with a light tone, and makes it more inviting for the reader.

The story reminds me of a time when I was helping a friend of mine take a windshield from a car at a Pick-and-Pull, a junkyard full of cars where you have to extract parts from the car yourself but you can buy it at a discounted rate. Sometimes you'd see little receipts and product packages strewn around the interiors, giving a glimpse into the life of the car's past owner.

Luckily I didn't touch any murder cars (knowingly, at least), but the story concept was a lot of fun to read for me especially, and it would be great to see it developed into a full murder mystery. The ending leaves the reader with lots of questions like:
  • Hannah seems to know more than she lets on, how involved is she in the death of the driver, if at all?
  • Who is the driver? We know he's apparently rich, but what circumstances led to him being targeted in particular?
  • If we followed the paper trail back to the insurance auction and beyond, would we encounter any suspects or other persons of interest?

Which I would love to see answered in a larger story!
 
Here for roundtable, though I suspect I would've made my way over anyway--the description on this is delightfully visceral and I love a gross little object mon getting to live their best life. I think you do a fantastic job of getting the vibe of a garbodor across too. I couldn't tell you exactly what shade of green Trucy is or how many centimeters tall; but the scorch marks in its wake, the crunchy sounds of glass, the weird spindly arms feeding into the maw--really great, striking images here. Duncan's description, while drawing from less bombastic inspiration than an enormous heap of walking trash, is also really good; I can tell that he's kind of naive, inquisitive, but wants to get things done--all traits that end up coming back in the later part of the story haha.

"I think she might have eaten my baby teeth" and "just the bits [of your body] that you weren't attached to" (haha GET IT) are delightfully unhinged bits of dialogue. I think it's really fun in hindsight. I get that Duncan has become kind of blase about his pokemon, and has come to accept what life alongside Trucy looks like--which I really love as a trope btw; it's so fun when humans need to adapt to their pokemon rather than the other way around--but why is Hannah so full of these fun facts? And the answer is really fun there lol.

I was a little confused about what was going on in Hannah's head for this. Was she involved in the murder and was waiting for the opportune moment to clean it up? (Evidenced by her wanting to brush it aside when Duncan begins to investigate, but then, a bit of a serendipitous plan--though I suppose she's in no rush). But then why would she draw careful attention to the driver's seat if she knew about it? (maybe part of it is she wants someone to know she did it?) And why is she carrying around a glossy photo of Skyla? (I thought it was because her ex was the guy who was murdered, but I think it's a bit of a stretch). I get the feeling there's some sort of intended "answer" here, like there should be enough clues, but some of the details also don't line up and I was wondering if that was part of it too--like if the guy was driving and then collided with a tree, and insurance deemed it scrap after, the driver's seat should be covered in blood, which wasn't commented on, so I thought maybe the whole thing was fake. idk. curious little knots are my favorite but I couldn't quite unpick this one all the way.

Either way, delightful little glimpse into some dark city secrets here, haha. I really love that garbodor gets its day. Thank you for sharing!

-

If you're looking for really short mysteries that try to hide details in the story and don't really overtly answer it, I always think of Farla's oneshots; they usually leave me thinking. You might enjoy Slush or Greenhorn if so!
 
A few days I was staring at a blank page for over an hour when I decided that was going nowhere and decided to read this. I was meaning to anyway! Now I've finally got it transferred over and some of my thoughts together, so let's go~~

- I forget sometimes that Unova has seasons. That are monthly somehow (mechanical reasons, don't think too hard about it because that has consequences for the rest of the world). Freaky to think about how it works in relation to times of year.
- Like the Garbodor description.
- Trying to look older than he actually is? Well sometimes acne refuses to go away even when older so.
- Something nasty to feed it. Ha. I love it. Fitting too.
- I'd like to think landfills would appreciate Garbodors for reducing waste and making it a part of their bodies, but.
- Interesting and I thin dex supported idea that eating dangerous and hazardous stuff makes poison more potent.
- Well said ex of Hannah is lucky, but also, I unfortunately get where Hannah is coming from too. Wasn't quite the same thing, but it still hurt.
- An insurance auction huh? Had to look those up. Kind of weird that the junkyard took it instead of a collector, I'd expect that's where it goes when no one buys it.
- I'm guessing Trucy was a name that fit an earlier evolution. The pains of naming for that then evolution happening and oops.
- Oh geez, hostels. If I had a nickel for every time I saw a hostel in a Pokefic, there'd be two, weird it happened twice, etc.
- Neat way to meet a Pokemon but did she like just crawl in through an open window and let herself be caught?
- One freaky tooth fairy. Forget The "Dwayne Johnson" Rock, put teeth in the garbage.
- That's what she said.
- Huh, well I guess you can cut metal up, but I was expecting more of a car crusher.
- Huh, did they suddenly discover a sabotage based murder? Or some fraeaky accident? I guess this is our City Secret!
- An interesting theory, though Accelgor aren't exactly common to see. Looking like murder. You'd think the cops would have caught that.
- And well, now suddenly the junkyard owner turns sus. Maybe that's how the snail evolved.
- Oh yeah, here we go. Though I guess Skyla is too public a figure to do much to easily. Now I'm thinking the ex was extra lucky and may have been pulled out of a bad relationship. That or he's still scum and the victim here. Incompetent cops all the same.
- I don't think a magazine is a good litmus. Black comedy mental image anyway.

This was an interesting little story. Local man wants to strengthen his Pokemon in a weird and unusual way and accidentally discovers a murder. Though I do have to wonder what's stopping him from saying what he knows to the police after the fact? Corruption? Or maybe incompetence because they missed something this obvious themselves. Maybe they were even in on it. It kind of paints a picture about the world without directly doing so, for better or worse. Like, I seriously have to wonder what's going on: how did the police miss something so obvious? Even an accident would be investigated, and if some untrained trainer can notice, they definitely would. And what about witnesses? She was awfully quick to confidently confess too. I dunno, it feels like there was some missing aspects to this that can't be inferred with the info given.

Despite the problem I had with having to stretch suspension of belief for that, I enjoyed the ride. It was chilling, and certainly is someone's dark secret in a city. Good work on it.
 
Was hoping you'd post something soon since you left a nice review on my story, so it was cool to see this so I could return the favor.

Wish I had more to say, but I can mostly just reiterate what others have said. I love the way Trucy is described. No need for a big description-dump paragraph at the beginning when there are plenty of great descriptive bits throughout detailing the way Trucy moves and acts. Its big and gross but still has the "friendly little guy" energy that makes Pokémon charming.

The whole unresolved mystery is pretty interesting too. It adds a sinister edge to what is otherwise a pretty cut and dry slice-of-life scene. There are enough details that you could read into who the dead driver was or who Hannah is or what she's doing, but it also just works as just a spooky thing.

You've got good prose. I'd love to read something longer from you. Keep it up!
 
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