Ash's Story (My first fanfic) PG-12

[EdelsteinBraginski_]

This is my first EVER fanfic, so, don't go too hard on me. I have enough stress already. =.=

This is rated PG-12 for some cursing/swearing.

This is the story of the anime's main character, Ash Ketchum, after he has become the world's greatest Pokemon master. He is now age 15. We don't get to see his last Pokemon battle where he becomes a master, but he has flashbacks in his dreams.....

Chapter 1: Flashbacks

"Pikachu! Thunder!" Ash commands to Pikachu. "Pikaaa-CHUUUUU!!!" Pikachu yells as it unleashes a devastatingly powerful electric attack. THUD! Mewtwo falls to the ground. "Mewtwo is unable to battle...Pikachu wins! Ash Ketchum is the new Pokemon MASTERRR!!!" The announcer says into the microphone. Everything blurs from there.....

"Wha-...oh, it was just a dream," Ash says as he wakes up. "But that really happened, how is it a dream?" Ash asks himself. "Thanks for letting me stay here, but I have to go," Ash says. Ash stayed at the Pokemon Center that night. "No problem, see you later!" Nurse Joy says. Ash walks out without saying anything else.

"Why the hell did I have a flashback in my dream?" Ash says to himself. "Oh well, I'm finally home! Pallet Town!" Ash says. He was on his way home to see his mom after becoming Pokemon master. He walks in the door to his house. "Mom?" he calls. "I'm home!"

That's chapter 1, I'll have Chapter 2 up ASAP.

Please comment!
~TR

 

[eevee91]

Sounds like it will be a good story.

 

[TeamGalacticMercury]

That.was.short. It felt rushed. umm....a dream?

 

[EdelsteinBraginski_]

Well, it's only the 1st chapter, I'm sure future chapters will be longer and less rushed. Criticism is what makes the story better. He has dreams about his battle to know how he became Pokemon master (since we don't see it).

I'm still working on Chapter 2, but I'll post it soon.


~Ash&Silver

 

[Gama]

I don't really understand what happened in the flashback in the dream, I'm hoping you're planning to expand on that later rather than it just being poorly written. This story is too young to judge imo, I'll be reading for the next two chapters at least, no promises about after that.

 

[Black Knightz]

The next few chapters need to be much longer.

 

[Legacy]

Nice start. The length of the chapters isn't the important thing...it can be however long it needs to be. I think people are just saying it should have a bit more description and maybe some more content.

Anyways, I'm excited to read.