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Bank manager sets fire to cover up theft, epic fail ensues

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Nekusagi

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http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2009905070495
The Indianapolis Star said:
An assistant bank manager tried to set a fire in the bank vault to cover a theft on Wednesday, but accidentally dropped his keys inside the vault, according to Indianapolis metropolitan police.

So, the assistant manager made a 911 call to report the fire, police spokesman Sgt. Matthew Mount said in a statement. When firefighters arrived to extinguish the fire, they decided things didn't look right and called arson investigators, which led to the arrest of the assistant manager.

Dwayne Roberts, 31, 6200 block of Bishops Pond Lane, faces preliminary charges of arson and theft.

The incident that led to the arrest was reported at 5:15 p.m. Wednesday on the Northwestside at the Fifth Third bank, 5692 Georgetown Road. According to police, Roberts set the fire to cover for theft from the bank. Investigators said it appeared that Roberts had been stealing money from the bank vault for several months.

The statement said when employees mentioned an odor of smoke in the bank, Roberts sent them home early and then and set money on fire in the vault. He was planning to leave the bank and report the fire, but he locked his keys in the vault when he closed the door, which kept him from leaving, police said.

After the arrest, police said they found $6,000 in cash in Roberts' truck. Investigators are still trying to find how much more money may be missing from the bank.
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Macros cannot adequately express the epickness of this fail....
 
Ouch. Now this is what I call a "stupid criminal" story. Here's hoping the rest of the money for that bank will be recovered, but at least now, Dwayne Roberts will no longer be able to burn it right up (no pun intended).
 
This is why you thoroughly configure a plan before executing it.
 
C7CACorncas12 said:
Ouch. Now this is what I call a "stupid criminal" story. Here's hoping the rest of the money for that bank will be recovered, but at least now, Dwayne Roberts will no longer be able to burn it right up (no pun intended).
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The local news was having a field day with this story...

"hot dough"...

"burning cash"...

"up in smoke"...
 
"Local bank manager cashes and burns."

...no, that's a little too horrible.
 
My god, the stupidity and carelessness that humankind has shown in the last little while astounds me.
 
Epic fail indeed.
This proves the conventional wisdom. Crime doesn't pay (or maybe it does, but certainly not Mr. Roberts)
 
Nekusagi said:
The local news was having a field day with this story...

"hot dough"...

"burning cash"...

"up in smoke"...
Click to expand...

Let's not forget the obvious "money to burn".

If this keeps up, the world is going to face an epidemic of red palm-shaped marks on foreheads.
 
Why couldn't he just call someone with the keys to open the vault up.....

Makes you wonder if bank-workers should have an intelligence exam when they apply. Maybe that could help prevent future bailouts.....

Darwin Award goes to you good sir :))))
 
Jackassery n. To show absent-mindedness; stupidity; a display of retarded behaviour which causes others to lol or facepalm; Dwayne Roberts.
 
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