!!BEAR CHALLENGE!!

[Kyumorph]

(copied from this thread on the MSPA forums.)
NOTE: ANYONE MAY JOIN AT ANY TIME.

THE BEAR CHALLENGE

BEARS ARE NATURES MOST DANGEROUS CREATURES
THEY FEEL NO PAIN, AND ARE VERY HEAVY, MAKING THEM IMMUNE TO NATURE'S 2 DEADLIEST WEAKNESSES
GROINSHOTS AND SUPLEXES

BEARS ARE INCREDIBLY TERRITORIAL, AND WILL FIGHT TO THE DEATH UNDER EVERY CIRCUMSTANCE​

HOW TO AVOID A BEAR​

• 
  
  
  YOU CANNOT RUN, AS THEY ARE TOO FAST
  
  
  YOU CANNOT CLIMB TREES, THEY WILL KNOCK THEM DOWN
  
  
  YOU CANNOT SWIM AWAY, BEARS ARE EXCELLENT FISHERS AND SWIMMERS
  
  
  YOU CANNOT SCARE THEM AWAY
  
  
  BEARS FEEL NO FEAR
  
  
  NO FEAR WHATSOEVER
  
  
  THEY ARE BEARS
  
  
  IDIOT

BEAR CHALLENGE RULES

UPON ENTERING THE BEAR INFESTED FOREST*, YOU WILL BE REQUIRED TO LAST SEVERAL DAYS IN THE FOREST
BEARS WILL SMELL FEAR, SO REMAIN CALM (you will be supplied with a small supply of marijuana: for emergencies)

YOU ARE REQUIRED TO KEEP A BEARLOG DETAILING YOUR DAILY "ACTIVITIES"

ACROSS THE 20 ACRE FOREST, THERE ARE 6 DENS
EACH ONE CONTAINS A BEAR COMMANDER​

the most terrifying beast on the planet.​

ONE FROM THE FAR NORTH, ONE FROM THE TEMPERATE FORESTS, ONE FROM THE MOST DANGEROUS PARTS OF THE AUSTRALIAN OUTBACK, ONE A GIANT ROBOTIC WATER BEAR, ONE TRAINED IN NINJA ARTS HERALDING FROM THE DEEP BAMBOO FORESTS OF CHINA, AND ALSO A BADGER BECAUSE IT IS PRACTICALLY AN HONORARY BEAR.

WHEN THE LAST BEAR COMMANDER IS SLAIN, A HELICOPTER WILL DESCEND, READY TO EVACUATE YOU FOR YOUR SAFETY, AS BY THIS POINT THE BEARS WILL BE INCREDIBLY ENRAGED.
WE'RE NOT USUALLY BIG ON SAFETY. THAT'S HOW DANGEROUS THE BEARS WILL BECOME.​

YOUR PRIZE FOR COMPLETION OF THE CHALLENGE WILL BE A LIFE-TIME SUPPLY OF SALMON, ONE MILLION DOLLARS, AND ONE OF THE FEW SAMMY THE GIANT TEDDY BEARS EVER MADE, BEFORE THEY WERE RECALLED FOR SUFFOCATING SMALL CHILDREN, AND CRUSHING BEDS UNDER THEIR MASSIVE WEIGHT.


IT IS RECOMMENDED THAT YOU DO NOT TAKE THIS CHALLENGE IF YOU ARE NOT MAN ENOUGH FOR IT.​

Godspeed.​

 

[DerMißingno]

So in.

 

[chimera]

...In?

 

[Rainami]

In.

 

[DerMißingno]

Here we go.

BEAR LOG DAY 1

Spoiler

I awoke face down in heavy brush. There was a sharp pain stabbing at my head, and a line of dried blood running from my nose. Where am I? Who am I?

As my vision became less blurry, it became apparent that I was in the middle of the woods. Next to where I was lying unconscious was a small duffel bag. The first object I found in the bag was this very notebook. The first page was instructional. I was provided with a simple visual to tell me what I was supposed to be doing.

Wow, what a shitty image. I guess I'm supposed to kill bears? The following pages are entitled “BEAR LOG DAY X.”

I looked around the bag to see if there was anything actually useful. Here is what I found:
-A pair of 3D glasses (the the crappy paper ones with one eye red and one eye blue)
-A Chinese finger trap
-A butterfly net
-Two empty mason jars
-One hand grenade
-A box labeled “USE ONLY IN EMERGENCY” containing one ounce of marijuana

Nothing of use at all. Maybe I'll be able to damage one of them with the grenade, but that's about it. I'm not really sure what they expect me to do with the marijuana, since I was left nothing to light it with or smoke it out of. It was time to set off on my bear commander hunt. I had no idea where I was or where I'm going, so I decided to just head north for now, using the rising sun as reference (there is dew on the ground, I could tell it was morning).

It is now late afternoon. Hopefully using the sun as reference has prevented me from walking in a giant circle. After a few hours of walking I came across a tree with a carving in it. The carving said “STAY OUT OF THE SHADOWS” and the tree was riddled with bear scratch marks. Many of the surrounding trees were completely destroyed. Some tattered clothes on the forest floor were all that was left of the poor fellow who carved this, but in the wreckage I managed to find a military knife, which I added to my inventory.

Just as I was about to make camp for the night, I was attacked by a bear. It wasn't a Commander (that would have been disastrous), but a level 2 bear Scout.
BEAR SCOUT, LEVEL 2, HP 50/50
ME, LEVEL 1, HP 20/20
I lead off with my special attack, the suplex. I had no idea that this attack would have no effect whatsoever, and it only earned me an epic claw slash to the face.
ME, LEVEL 1, HP 7/20
I had no other choice, he could hit way too hard. I had to use the grenade.
BEAR SCOUT, LEVEL 2, HP 16/50
The bear scout remained stunned from the grenade, and I was able to whittle his HP down using knife cuts.
BEAR SCOUT, LEVEL 2, HP 0/50
EXP GAINED: 100
GREW TO LEVEL 2!

Searching the body, I picked up some light bearskin armor (+2 defense +1 dexterity), and a broken short sword (+1 attack, upgradable). Knowing I had wasted the most effective weapon I had, I ended my first day.

 

[Karamazov]

In. I want that teddy bear. >:|

Spoiler

BEAR LOG DAY 1

Inventory:
Sword x 1
Plastic bag x 9
Gun x 1
Bullets x 13
Toothpicks x 14
Marijuana - A lot

Yeah, I don't need that shit. Aside from the plastic bags, to catch tree dew.

7:00 am - Waking up int he morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downhill.
Gotta have my salmon, gotta have my water
9:30 am - Time's ticking on and on, every bear is Russian. Gotta get down to my own base.
10:20 am - Gotta find my house. I see a bear!

I hug the bear. I'm not going to kill it for sport. Instead, I try to make friends.

4:56 pm - I wake up covered in blood. My marijuana is missing.

End day 1.

 

[Kyumorph]

Let the games begin.

BEARLOG DAY 1

Spoiler

Supplies:
1 knife
1 small pouch of marijuana
1 3-foot long bungee cord
1 large chunk of obsidian
1 4x4 tarp
1 pack to carry all this around in

Okay, let's see what we can do. I immediately began searching for the Badger den- I might as well take out the weaklings first.
As darkness began to fall, I looked around for a camping spot. I found a rock wall, and next to it made a rudimentary tent out of tree branches and the tarp. It occured to me that bears could sneak up in the darkness, so I strung the bungee cord around the half of my dwelling not up against the wall.

Just as I settled down to cook a little squirell, I heard a crash. A bear had tripped over the cord in its senseless bloodlust! I quickly grabbed my obsidian and smashed it down on the beast's skull. While it was dazed, I stabbed both its eyes out with my knife, collecting 2 Bear Eyeballs. It was now stumbling around, howling in pain and rage. So I set it on fire to finish the job.

Day 1 over. Bears killed: 1. Chieftains slain: 0. Spoils collected: 2 Bear Eyeballs.

 

[Hector]

So in.

Bear Log: Day One

Spoiler

Supplies:

2x hidden blades
1x Falcon's Talons (Falcon's Talons - Ninja Gaiden Wiki- The Home of all things Ninja Gaiden.)
1x Bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue
1x canteen
1x microfridge (I need ice for the scotch you know)
1x butane lighter
1x Lighter Fuel
1x pack for my shit
and of course enough bud to knock out an elephant


Believe it or not, I don't have a death wish. I also don't need the money or the free fish (although I do like me some smoked salmon so that prize will be nice). I joined the competition strictly out of boredom. I could use a few thrills in my life and what's more thrilling than going toe to toe with an angry bear?

Nothing, that's what. So I strapped on my pack, checked my hidden blades and got ready for my first taste of combat. I was headed for the ninja bear's lair because there can only be one master of the ninja arts in this forest... and it's not the cybernetic bear. However, I knew that I would likely have to face off against multiple other bears on the way.

I crept through the forest, making nary a sound, until I came across my first foe. A rather mean looking grizzly bear. It was time to test my mettle. "Hey bear!" I shouted at the beast. "Yeah you! You're mother's so dead that I made her into a rug for my chalet in the Swiss mountains!" I taunted the beast, hoping for a response. And I got one. The behemoth roared and charged me, covering ground quicker than I expected.

And then the fight began. The bear's swiftness and ferocity initially had me on the defensive. I was forced to duck and dive under the powerful swipes of the bear's claws. It was leaving no openings for a counter attack. But then, a ray of hope. The bear left itself overextended from two powerful swipes. I quickly slid under the bear's outstretched arms and drove both of my wrist blades through the creature's neck and with a quick sideways flick severed the beast's spinal column. It was dead before it hit the ground.

Working quickly, I cut off a nice steak from the bear's leg and with my lighter quickly made a fire to grill my winnings. I spent the night eating a delicious bear steak accompanied by a glass of my Johnnie Walker on the rocks. It was bliss.

Day One over: Bears killed - 1. Commanders slain - 0. Spoils - Bear Meat.

 

[Rainami]

Bear log: Day One

Spoiler

Supplies:

1x harpoon gun
2x lighter
1x bottle of lighter fluid
2x chapstick
1x ax
1x backpack
1x canteen
1x roll of ducktape
1x cell phone with no reception
1x piano in a can (Don't ask me how it works)
7x large plastic ziplock bags
And a lot of weed

Upon waking up, I immediately began looking for a cave of a bear commander. While sneaking through the forest, I step on something hard.

Looking down, I realized that I had just stepped on a bunch of screws and bolts. I was wearing boots and the screws were not upright anyway, so I was fine. I thought to myself, why would these random metal objects be laying in the middle of the forest?

Then it hit me like an anvil dropped from a 30 story building. Noticing the lake about 100 feet to the left of me, I realized this must be the waste of one of the bear commanders; the giant robotic water bear. Realizing that pursuing the bear would land me a killing, in two senses of the word, I immediately headed to the lake.

I got to the shoreline. I noticed a cave entrance on the other side of the lake, within swimmable distance. Putting some of my equipment in plastic bags so they wouldn't get soaked, I jumped into the water. I kept swimming. About halfway to my destination, I noticed a hump of fur briefly emerge from the water.

It was a motherfucking bear.

I immediately got out my harpoon gun, but the bear's claw grabbed my ankle and pulled me underwater. While still submerged, I managed to break free. The bear lunged towards me and I took careful aim at the bear's head. One of us would not make it out alive.

I pulled the trigger, and clouds of crimson filled the water. The harpoon had impaled the bear's skull. I swam up to the bear and pried my weapon out from it's dead body. Before the bear could completely sink, I cut off it's arm with my ax so I could have something to eat.

I eventually got to the cave. I climbed to a sturdy ledge protruding from the rock face and sat down. Tomorrow would be a rough day.

Bears killed today: 1
Total bears killed: 1
Items obtained: Bear meat
Current position: Outside the giant robotic water bear's cave

 

[DerMißingno]

BEAR LOG DAY 2

Spoiler

My night was plagued by bad dreams. Nothing really vivid, but images of prison bars keep entering my thoughts. Could this be clues to my past or why I am here? It's too early to tell.

Soon after I awoke, I was able to ambush a small party of badger scouts. They didn't have any good loot, but it was enough experience for another level, earning me the class “novice.” I decided to make it a priority to find something that could start a fire to cook some of this badger meat. I headed north again.

After a little bit of walking, I was startled by a loud noise. It sounded like some kind of creature yelling for help. It got louder and louder, when I realized it was headed my way. A badger, being chased by a scary fucking bear wielding an iron sword in hard leather armor. The chase was upon me and I had nowhere to run. I was forced to fight the bear. It looked like he had already been damaged from an earlier fight

BEAR SOLDIER, LEVEL 5, HP 52/73
ME, NOVICE, LEVEL 3, HP 40/40
I had no useful items in my inventory, so I attacked with my knife and broken short sword. I was able to block the bear's first attack with my knife and give him a nice cut to the arm. He still hit for some damage because he's a fucking bear.
BEAR SOLDIER, LEVEL 5, HP 41/73
ME, NOVICE, LEVEL 3, HP 32/40
It was not looking good. Even after blocking his attacks, he was still hitting for way too much damage. At this rate I would end up like the fellow I got this hunting knife from. A few more blows were exchanged
BEAR SOLDIER, LEVEL 5, HP 36/73
ME, NOVICE, LEVEL 3, HP 8/40
It looked like it was all curtains, then the badger who was being pursued by the bear stepped in.
BADGER SCOUT JOINS YOUR PARTY!
A combined flurry from myself and my new teammate was enough to bring down the bear soldier.
BEAR SOLDIER, LEVEL 5, HP 0/73
ME, NOVICE, LEVEL 3, HP 2/40
BADGER SCOUT, LEVEL 4, HP 25/50
EXP GAINED: 1200
GREW TO LEVEL 4!
NEW CLASS: TRACKER
I picked up the bear's iron sword (+3 attack)

“You saved me from certain death, I'm truly grateful. I didn't know we had humans working on our side,” Said the badger. A talking badger. Holy fucking shit.

“Umm, thanks, I didn't have much of a choice. On your side? What do you mean?” I didn't bother asking why it could talk, that question just seemed pointless given the situation.

“The bears and the badgers are fighting over this part of the woods. I was sent to infiltrate their base and get information on their commander, but I was spotted by this soldier before I could get near. We've been expecting a full on attack for some time,” He said. So he knew where the commander was. Good, that's exactly what I need.

“So you were headed towards their base. Can you tell me how to get there?” I asked.

“You're going to the base? A human? Well I can tell you where it is, but I'm definitely not going back there. Also, take this, I see you have some raw meat and you need to heal a little bit. Good luck on your suicide miss-- I mean journey,” He handed me a flint and steel. Excellent, now I can finally light fires. I'm glad he didn't notice that it was badger meat I was carrying...

BADGER SCOUT HAS LEFT YOUR PARTY

It turns out I was not too far from the lair of the first bear commander. I set off using the directions given to me by my new ally. Having friends in the woods may prove useful in the future.

As dusk begins to settle, I found a place to make camp for the night, cooked up some food and started whittling a pipe out of a nice piece of wood I found.

END OF DAY 2
ITEMS GAINED:
-Flint and steel
-Iron sword (+3 attack)

 

[Karamazov]

Bear Log: Day Two

Spoiler

After getting some breakfast from the forest's coffee shop, I took refuge in the forest's leather bar. There, I acquired leather and leather strips, which I used to make hide bracers and level up my smithing skills. I also take some beer and buckets.

As I leave the bar, I spot a dead bear. Probably a minion. I try to carry it, maybe find a proper resting place for it. But it was too heavy, so I pushed it down a hill and wandered off.

I poor some alcohol into an open stream. Hopefully I can get the bears nice and drunk. They would be easy prey then. The rest of the day is spent making spall wooden traps to catch rabbits my new friends.

As night fell, I got some take out from the forest's McDonald's and napped in a shallow ditch, covered in leaves and branches.


Bears killed today: 0
Total bears killed: 0
Items obtained: Leather, leather strips, hide bracers.
Current position: Not too far from robo bear.

 

[Rainami]

Bear log: Day two

Spoiler

Supplies:
1x harpoon gun
2x lighter
1x bottle of lighter fluid
2x chapstick
1x ax
1x backpack
1x canteen
1x roll of ducktape
1x cell phone with no reception
1x piano in a can
7x large plastic ziplock bags
1x Bear meat
And a lot of weed

After waking up from a long sleep, I took out the bear arm I cut off yesterday. I would have cooked and eaten half of it last night, but I didn't want to risk falling asleep with the fire still going. The bears might have noticed it and killed me in my sleep. Instead, I started a fire now using my lighter, some sticks, and a little bit of lighter fluid. After cooking the bear meat, I tore it apart with my teeth in a matter of seconds. I was frickin hungry. After the meal I quickly put out the fire, and looked down below me, staring at the entrance to the giant robotic water bear's cave.

I climbed down to the cave opening and carefully walked inside. It was really dark inside, I was pretty pissed at myself for forgetting to bring a flashlight. I grabbed a stick I found outside, put some lighter fluid on the top of it, and ignited it, but it didn't last very long, to my disappointment. Fucktastic. How was I supposed to navigate my way inside here?

Navigation would be the least of my worries in about 10 seconds. Carefully proceeding though the dark cave, I fell down a hole. I would have been badly injured if it weren't for the water that I fell into. I quickly swam to shore. There was this really weird chainsaw-like sound. I walked forward a little bit, and the sound got louder. Until, THUMP! I had just walked into a very large metallic object.

It took about 3 seconds until all the adrenaline in my body started gushing through me at once. The metallic object was about 12 feet tall, and was obviously the source of the chainsaw noise. The giant robotic water bear!....but....it didn't respond to me bumping into it at all. It was asleep! Or charging, whatever robots do.

I could make out what it's body looked like in the darkness, which my eyes were now starting to adjust to. Its entire body was very well armored. Though, I could tell that the armor on its head was a lot thinner than the armor covering the rest of its body. I thought it was just a design flaw at first, but looking at the cracks, holes, and wires sticking out, I figured it's head must have been badly damaged in battle. Thinking to myself, I figured there must be some sort of weak point in it's head. If I could knock the bear out temporarily, I could hack away at it's head with my ax and kill it.

Thinking quickly, I took out my "Piano in a can" which I stole from a top secret government warehouse a few months ago. Or the dollar store. I forget. Either way, I knew it worked, as I had used one to great effect before. I opened the can carefully with my ax, and threw it above the bear's head. A really big grand piano popped out of it, and hit the bear right on its mechanical head. As I had planned, the chainsaw noise stopped and the bear fell down.

I smashed my ax into the bear's head multiple times. The plating on the top of its head came clean off, and I noticed a switch inside its mechanical skull. It was labeled with "Off" and "On." The switch was currently on "On", obviously. I knew that turning the switch to off would not permanently kill the bear, as it's minions could just turn it back on, but it would give me more than enough time to destroy it's body with my ax.

I reached in its skull and flipped the switch to Off. I laughed. This stupid bear didn't even put up a fight.

Or so I thought. I began walking around the bear so I could chop its body to bits. However, I heard an odd rumbling noise, and the ground started to shake. I backed away slowly, in case the bear wasn't deactivated like I thought it was. But everything was back to normal in about 10 seconds. I smiled, and walked towards the bear to destroy it once and for all.

But to my surprise, a hole was ripped in the ground right under me. I managed to grab the edge and hang on, but this collapsed as well. I kept falling. Seconds later, I hit the ground, and everything started to go black.....

Bears killed today: 0
Total bears killed: 1
Items obtained: None
Current position: ??? (Probably somewhere in the giant robotic water bear's cave)

 

[TFSpock]

Bear Log: Day 1

Spoiler

Items:
1X Roll of wire
2X Ancient Greek clay pots
1X Pixelated Diamond sword
1X Jar of honey
2X Flint & Steels
1X Endless Pokémon bag
1X Empty shotgun
1X Axe
3X Pouches of Marijuana
1X Flashlight
4X AA batteries
1X Roll of bubble-wrap.
1X iPhone 4S. That's dead.

5:00 AM I wake up in the forest, with my endless pack of crap and my shotgun in my hand. It isn't loaded. After aimlessly wandering through the forest, I come across a hollow tree with a family of squirrels with a stockpile of acorns in it. After violently jamming the squirrels down the barrel of my gun, I take the acorns, and continue on my merry way.

8:46 AM My first bear. It seems to want my honey. After bashing it upside the head with the pots, I hid in a hole that I dug with my hands. An unknown amount of time later, the bear decides to sleep on top on the hole. I am trapped.

2:31 PM After digging my way out of the ground, I see the bear. I try to sneak away, but it attacks. After knocking me to the ground, and helping itself to the honey, I decide to kill it the easy way. After covering myself with bubble-wrap, I jump into the bear's mouth, and it eats me. I am now inside the bear.

6:00 PM After three and a half freaking hours, I finally pierce my way out of the bear using my diamond sword, because bear skin is as hard as titanium. It is dead, and the sun is setting. After crawling back inside the dead bear, I start a fire and eat the two of the shotgun squirrels. After a while, I drift off to sleep.

Bears killed: 1
Bears killed total: 1
Commanders killed: 0
Items obtained: 3X Dead Squirrels, 19X Acorns
Current location: Inside a dead bear, eleven miles from where I started.

 

[Karamazov]

Bear Log: Day Troi

Spoiler

7:30 AM: Wake up. The robo bear clan are closing in on my location. They don't seem to notice me. But they're walking around the ditch. Possibly to look for food.
8:30 AM: My stomach growls, alerting the bears. In a panic, I jump up and run away screaming whilst I punch any of them that get in my way. They're closing in on me.

Sometime later, AM?: They're close! I jump into a rushing stream and let the water carry me away. Unfortunately, the robot water bear himself has jumped in after me. When suddenly...he just sort of stops moving. Guess he's not water proof. I let myself get washed away, while the other bears go to repair their commander. Maybe next time he'll be waterproof. And I'll be ready.

About 9:09 AM: Against all logical odds, I survived going down the forest's waterfall. Even more odd, I end up landing on a bear, crushing him. I use my m3d1cal sk1llz to fix up some open wounds, then leave him to recover. I'm sure he'll make it. I can't be that heavy, can I?

10:22-10:23 AM: Turns out she's a girl. Finding a place to hide, sleep, and eat. These berries taste good.

Bears killed today: 1?
Total bears killed: 1?
Items obtained: Non-poisonous berries.
Current position: Near the waterfall.

 

[eat]

There are no Australian bears, silly.

Unless you are referring to the infamous drop bear, but they are actually part of the Koala family, technically not a bear.

 

[Kyumorph]

Time to continue my bearlog.

Bear Log Day 2

Spoiler

After eating a healthy meal of bear meat, I headed for the badger den once more.
On my way, I noticed a tree had fallen on a bear, crushing it. I hacked some of the meat from its lifeless corpse, and stowed it in my bag. Then, I took a large branch from the tree and whittled the end down to a point, creating a makeshift spear.
ITEM OBTAINED: WOODEN SPEAR
I then took a smaller, curved branch (about 4 feet long) and fastened the bungee cord to both ends. I carved out a handle in the middle of the branch, and called it done.
ITEM OBTAINED: WOODEN BOW
Putting the bow on my shoulder, I proceeded to gather some small sticks that could be used as arrows. If only I had some sharp rocks for arrowheads.
I hiked for another few hours, then started to look for a camp. I found a small cave inhabited by a badger, which I quickly dispatched by stabbing it with the spear. I took its corpse back out to the woods so that a bear would not track it.
I started a fire and ate the bear meat I had collected earlier. Before I slept, I covered the cave entrance with the tarp and some foliage to hide the cave.
End of the Second Day.
Bears killed: 0. Total bears killed: 1. Bear commanders killed: 0. Items Obtained: Wooden Spear, Wooden Bow.

 

[DerMißingno]

BEAR LOG DAY 3

Spoiler

A light rain made for a very unpleasant morning. Soggy bear fur is a very uncomfortable warmer in the cold early spring air. At least my journey finally had direction as I headed towards the lair of my first bear commander.

I reached a valley with a road down below. I was about to cross the valley to continue my journey, when I heard a low, rhythmic thumping headed my way. I scurried back into the woods and found a good vantage point to see what was going on. Passing in the valley below was an army of fully armored bear soldiers marching in file. It looked like they were headed to war.

I was hiding out until the army passed, when I heard one of them say “Captain, do you smell that?”

“Smell what? Oh yeah, you're right, it's coming from that direction. Send your squad to investigate. Leave no survivors.” The Captain replied. They were headed my way.

Shitshitshitshit... What do.

Then I remembered, bears can smell fear. I had to relax somehow, but they were getting closer so it was getting worse. Without thinking, I pulled out the little box that said “USE ONLY IN EMERGENCY,” packed up my wood carved pipe, and took the deepest hit of my life. As soon as I exhaled, I heard the very close bear footsteps stop in their tracks. “You idiot, it's just a skunk! Lets get back to our lines.” It was some pretty dank shit.

Once the bears had passed, which literally took forever, I started walking towards the bear base again. I was literally walking forever. An eternity later, I was at the mouth of the first Commander's cave, just like the badger said. There was one guard posted. Everyone else must have been out marching.

“Tell me who you are and what you want or you're dead!” The guard yelled as I approached.

“I'm here to kill your leader.” I said. He raised his halberd and charged

BEAR GUARD LEVEL 8 HP 85/85
ME, TRACKER, LEV-------shitson, I'm high as fuck what the hell am I doing?!

As the bear charged I rolled out of the way and ran inside the lair. I went through the first door I could find and barricaded it with whatever was around. It wouldn't take long for the guard to knock down the door, so I had to act fast. I turned around, and I saw cages. Rows of cages filled with badgers, all saying “Let me out!” They must be prisoners of war.

“I'll let you out, but there is one guard that you're going to have to worry about,” I said.

“Don't sweat it boss, we'll just swarm him,” The first one said. So I let them all out, the bear broke through, and was taken down by the badgers.

EXP GAINED: 4000
GREW TO LEVEL 5!
I picked up the bear's steel halberd (+6 attack) and bronze armor (+5 defense, +1 dexterity) and I dropped my broken sword.

In the back of the cell block there was a hall that led to one solitary cage in the back. Inside was a snow leopard. “You've come to destroy the beast of the northern woods. Release me and I will help you,” she said.

“How do I know I can trust you?” I asked.

“You have no other choice. Equipped as you currently are you have no chance of defeating the beast. Make haste, our time is short.”

END OF DAY 3
ITEMS GAINED:
Steel halberd (+6 attack)
Bronze armor (+5 defense, +1 dexterity)

 

[Kyumorph]

Bear Log of the Third Day

Spoiler

I woke up to the sound of birds singing today. Birds singing in terror, that is.

As I peeked out my cave entrance, I saw why. An unusually large honey badger in full plate armor was making his rounds in the field outside my cave. He didn't seem to be going anywhere. I knew there was only one way to do this.
I grabbed my spear and my knife, an- shit man, this spear is useless! Honey badger armor is impenetrable by anything short of tempered steel! My bow wouldn't be useful either.
My bow.
The bungee cord.
I secured the obsidian rock onto the non-pointy end of my spear with the bungee cord. This should do the trick.
ITEM CRAFTED: WOODEN SPEARCLUB

With my most furious battle cry, I ran out into the field to do battle. It was a fierce struggle. I tried to hit the damn thing, but it wouldn't stop moving! I finally managed to land a hit on its back, breaking its spine and rendering its back legs useless. I readied my knife and got down to finish the job.
"Wait..."
Holy shit the goddamn animal was talking.
"You... have proved... your worth..."
Mother of fuck.
"Go west... Turn left at the great tree... and continue through the ruins..."
My marijuana is still there. Damn, this thing is talking.
"There... you will find... the honey badger den..."
And then it was still.
I just killed a talking animal. I feel so bad right now.
ITEM OBTAINED: BADGERSTEEL
With the dying words of the honey badger resonating in my ears, I set out for the badger den. The badgersteel could come in handy if I ever need stronger weapons, which I will.

Once the sun started to set, I made camp in the branches of the great tree (which was a pretty fucking big tree) and spent the next few hours trying make arrowheads, with little success.

End of the Third Day.
Bears Honey Badgers killed: 1. Total bears + honey badgers killed: 3. Items obtained: Badgersteel, Wooden Spearclub.

 

[Pyradox]

In. I'll post the first day soon.

 

[Rainami]

Bear Log: Day Three

Spoiler

1x harpoon gun
2x lighter
1x bottle of lighter fluid
2x chapstick
1x ax
1x backpack
1x canteen
1x roll of ducktape
1x cell phone with no reception
7x large plastic ziplock bags
And a lot of weed

After who knows how long, I managed to open my eyes. My head was throbbing, and the last thing I remember was falling down a pit after failing to kill the giant robotic water bear.

I stood up an examined my surroundings. I was in a small room with rock walls, which was, for some reason, lit by a few small torches. There was what appeared to be prison bars made of wood blocking the only exit.

Shrugging off how I got in this place in the first place, I reached for my backpack so I could chop down this wood with my ax. But for some reason I could not feel it. It was gone! I looked all around the room, but nothing was there, with the exception of a small wooden stool.

Updated supply list:

Spoiler

1x cell phone with no reception

....wait, what? I still had my cell phone! It was in the back pocket of my jeans, and I must have forgot it was there. And whoever kidnapped me and stole my supplies apparently didn't notice either. But how was a cell phone with no reception (and a badly damaged screen...) supposed to help me out of this sticky situation? At least the phone still had some juice left in it....

I heard some chatter coming from the room next to me. Outside the wood bars, I could see an exit nearby. If only I had a way of looking in so I could see who my kidnappers were.

Then I had another idea. I took off most of my clothes and tied them together into a rope. I broke one of the legs off of the stool, and tied the phone to it using a sock. I then tied the stool leg to the rope. My phone's camera had a camcorder function, and I turned it on. I slid the phone and stool out of the cell and in front of the exit to the room. I waited a few seconds, and reeled it back in.

I looked at the footage. My kidnappers, it seems, were none other than......squirrels? I watched the video again to be sure I wasn't just seeing things.

There were about four...squirrels...that I caught on video in the room next to me. Two of them were sitting at a table eating what was probably nuts, one was pacing around, and the fourth one was sleeping.

From my experience with squirrels, I knew they weren't very smart. And very weak in combat. If I didn't know for a fact that they were in possession of my ax and harpoon gun, I wouldn't be very scared. Granted, it didn't make me very afraid of them, but a little bit.

I needed to get out as soon as possible, though. At this time, the only way to do so was to steal the keys to the cell. Which would require me to get the attention of one of the guards. I yelled for them multiple times, but they ignored me. I had the brilliant idea to try and mimic a squirrel voice. I was good at making animal noises. I made the sound of a squirrel screaming in pain, and as planned, one of the guards came rushing in. To my annoyance, it was holding my harpoon gun.

It walked up to my cell, staying a few feet away, aiming the gun at me. When it saw that I was joking and there was no squirrel in danger, it turned around to walk away. It was then that my cell phone went off in my hand. The guard turned around and faced me with an amazed look on its face. It walked all the way up to the bars and dropped its guard. Squirrels were apparently very unfamiliar with technology this advanced.

Taking advantage of the situation at hand, I kicked the guard multiple times in the head, knocking it out. I stole the keys that were on it's belt and unlocked the cell door. Making sure to take back my harpoon gun, I ran full speed into the next room. A squirrel jumped up and bit my leg, but I easily shook it off.

I ran through a few more rooms until I came to what appeared to be the exit to the squirrel's lair. I didn't see any squirrels coming after me; they must have been either really lazy or afraid. Probably both.

I was still in the cave, and there were no torches here to guide me this time. But I still had to get my stuff back. Squirrels have a weird tradition where they like to hoard their treasure and other goods in trees. Conveniently, I noticed a giant tree root that appeared to have a hole in it that I could use to enter. I walked in. The tree was just as dark as the outside cave, much to my annoyance.

I saw that the tree was completely hollow, and that there were thick vines growing on the insides of it. It took a while, but I managed to climb halfway to the top. I climbed on a ledge so I could rest a little bit. I turned around to see a room filled with random junk. I walked inside, and I was overjoyed when I found my backpack sitting on a small pile of rotten garbage. Well, not the garbage part, but I didn't really care at this point. I looked inside, and sure enough, all my equipment was in there.

I heard a loud thud behind me, and turned around to see a big grizzly bear staring right at me! I was so scared I nearly dropped my backpack. The bear charged at me, and I jumped out of the way. Much to my inconvenience, I accidentally dropped my harpoon gun where I was last standing.

Luckily, on the ground right next to me, I see a three foot long chew toy shaped like a piece of bacon. I threw it at the bear, and, as planned, the beat started gnawing on it while trying to tear it to shreds. My god this thing is stupid. Anyways, I got out my ax, and chopped the bear to death. I kept a leg for myself.

A few squirrels walked up behind me. They looked at the dead body of the bear, and glanced up at me. I assumed that the bear was attacking them, and not letting them get to their treasure hoard. The biggest one, which I assumed to be their leader, walked over to me and hugged my leg. The smaller squirrels followed, and soon I had about 10 of these annoying rodents humping my body.

I walked out of the area, continuing my quest to find the giant robotic water bear. The squirrels waved goodbye as I left. Seems like I made some friends.

tl;dr:
-Got kidnapped by squirrels and items were stolen
-Escaped
-Got my items back
-Killed a bear that was attacking them
-Continued search for the giant robotic water bear


Bears killed today: 1
Total Bears Killed: 2
Items Obtained: Got back stolen equipment, and got a bear leg.
Current Position: Somewhere in the giant robotic water bears cave, near the squirrel's lair