Beaver Jihad 1, Canada 0

[Fig]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20090605/wl_canada_afp/canadarailderailmentanimaloffbeat_20090605154440

So beavers built three dams on a river. That's...usual.
Said dams were a little poorly built, and all three collapsed at once. That's a little unusual.
The collapse caused a flood strong enough to wash out railway tracks. That's rather unusual.
The washed out railway tracks caused a train to go off the rail. Now we're getting somewhere...
Said train dumped several thousand tons of diesel in the river. Still talking about beavers here!
...said river is the main source of drinking water for Canada's capital. BEAVERS!

If you'll excuse me, I have to spend the next...several...minutes ROFLing.

 

[Pastellorama]

*snort* lol, I have a new fondness for Beavers- too funny XD

 

[The Big Al]

Dam! Just...dam!

 

[Mitchman]

The beavers have resorted to terrorism. I love it.

 

[Valdez]

Glad I'm not in Ottawa anymore.

 

[Fig]

They're going to get you too, just you wait!

(But not me. Quebec's loyal legions of snowy owls will defend us!)

 

[Valdez]

Damn, what do I have to defend me? Beavers? Traitors. Snowy Owls? They're on your side. Moose? They're out west. Loons? Not enough around.

Dammit, it looks like I'm stuck with Harper! I think I'll go and kill myself now.

 

[I Started A Cult]

Wow, everybody has it in for Canada now.

 

[Fig]

Damn, what do I have to defend me? Beavers? Traitors. Snowy Owls? They're on your side. Moose? They're out west. Loons? Not enough around.

Dammit, it looks like I'm stuck with Harper! I think I'll go and kill myself now.

Hey, now you forgot the OTHER single most important animal symbol of canada (although they're only animal symbols of Canada when properly accessorized)

 

[Valdez]

Hey, now you forgot the OTHER single most important animal symbol of canada (although they're only animal symbols of Canada when properly accessorized)

You're right, I have. And I still can't remember. Is it the Goose? The Seal? The Polar Bear?

 

[Fig]

The horse.

Properly accessorized with its color-coordinated mountie, of course. Otherwise they're not Canadian symbols.

 

[The Big Al]

(But not me. Quebec's loyal legions of snowy owls will defend us!)

Maybe not. While they eat just about every other rodent, beavers are off the menu (too big and has this nasty habit of diving under water.)

 

[Valdez]

The horse.

Properly accessorized with its color-coordinated mountie, of course. Otherwise they're not Canadian symbols.

Oh right. But I've always had a fear of horses, so I wouldn't pick them either.

 

[Fig]

Well, then I suppose you could learn a proper language (ie, French) and move this side of the Ottawa river. We have Snowy Owls to spare

 

[Valdez]

I tried learning the language (took it throughout high school and first year University) but I failed miserably towards the end. I always get screwed up by le futur; the endings are far too similar for my feeble brain to distinguish. I probably have a slightly better grasp of the language than the typical English Canadian, but I'm nowhere near fluent.

 

[Fig]

Yeah, verb tenses are a bitch.

(That said, if future tense is the thing giving you trouble, you'd probably do fine here - you've got good French bases, could pick up the rest here, and if push comes to shove, could work in english - if you make the effort of trying to talk to a Quebecer in French, and he sees you're not quite good enough (yet), you have good odds of his switching to english to accomodate you.)