Best Newspaper Headlines

[ashita]

Im probably posting it in the wrong place but it is news related so i guessed as it didnt really fit the games forum either

What are the best newspaper headlines you have seen?
The Sun had some absolute classics
"Freddie Starr ate my Hamster" for example
Another good one from them was:
"Zip me up before you go go" hen George Michael got arrested
i look forward to reading yours from around the world that you have seen.

 

[Pidgeot]

"Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole In One"

 

[I Started A Cult]

Spoiler

Dr. Ruth to Talk about Sex with Reporters

 

[Scarlet Sky]

Owned.

 

[mr3urious]

Spoiler

 

[ashita]

Todays Sun headline:
"(Alistair) Darlings just screwed more poeple than Tiger Woods"
(referring to the pre budget report)

 

[Jeff]

I got a list of these a while back, a couple good ones I remember off the top of my head:

-Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?

...and my favorite:

-Children Make Healthy Snacks

 

[ashita]

There was one out of a church newsletter:
Todays sermon What is hell, come early and listen to our choir practice

 

[Every Breaking Wave]

Not a newspaper headline, but a funny sign I saw once. At the church in town some construction work/restoration/retiling/whatever was being done on the building. The sign that they put in front of the scaffolding (and conveniently in front of the church doors and billboard)? "Men above"