bones & gold

[kintsugi]

mostly a blog for miscellaneous media rambles, (usually) about the kind of media that I find has a compelling idea but I don't agree with the execution--the kind that makes me say, "this had the bones of a good story, but idk what you were doing with that middle and end bro".

I do not expect this to update frequently.

table of contents
split fiction (rewrite)

 

[kintsugi]

Split Fiction
warnings for: spoilers, and then story-spoiler specific topics including: discussion of death of a family member, terminal illess, grief, idk being kidnapped by a megalomaniac CEO. There is brief discussion of suicide in one section that is spoilered out separately

spoiler-free overview

Split Fiction is a co-op puzzle/platformer game about two authors who end up being pulled into a VR world that manifests as a combination of their stories. To escape, they (played by you and a buddy) will have to work together to solve puzzles, while also overcoming your very different personalities--Mio is a standoffish grimdark sci-fi writer, and Zoe is a bubbly optimistic fantasy writer.

In theory this is a really fun idea, and it comes from the same studio as It Takes Two. I really love the genre of people meeting each other through writing and the idea that your art reflects you, crazy. The platforming in general is pretty fun, though I found it got kind of repetitive at parts (there were several parts where Zoe or Mio get just the ability to fly, which in general kind of breaks platformers in half). The environments are frequently very gorgeous, and they capture the sci-fi/future and fantasy/high magic aspects very well.

summary/recap (story spoilers from here on out)

A brief summary: Zoe and Mio are aspiring unpublished authors who run into each other while they are both signing up for an experimental trial of ? publishing deal ? at Rader, a known publisher. Zoe says hi and Mio says "I don't do smalltalk actually please do not speak to me" about three seconds before the elevator opens and they would have been able to stop speaking to each other. Part of the ? publishing deal ? is an exclusive chance to try Rader's brand new VR technology that will bring their stories to life and help them write good; Mio panics (despite having agreed to change into the VR bodysuit with no explanation) and tries to leave, accidentally falling into Zoe's simulation instead.

Zoe, who is living her best cottagecore fantasy world, is understandably quite pissed when the angry girl from the elevator shows up. They accidentally then get transferred into Mio's simulation, which is a technopunk future neon platformer tutorial. Rader (CEO of Rader) is able to talk to them through the simulation and they realize they are stuck in each others' worlds; he asks them to wait and then walks off in a cutscene and says a bunch of evil stuff (gasp).

Zoe and Mio discover through the course of their adventure that Rader's technology is actually stealing their ideas directly from their brains and using it so that Rader can write stories instead (it's a really subtle genAI metaphor). They discover various side stories that they can "play" through, allowing them to prevent Rader from being able to steal these memories. The side stories typically introduce a new paired platforming mechanic/ability that doesn't retain for the main story. For Zoe, these side stories are: a world where you ride sharks, a world where pigs are superheroes by farting rainbows and stretching, a world where you are hot dogs who have to cook yourselves and then get eaten onscreen, a world where you have to dodge giants who are stepping on you, kites, a night market with cats, and a notebook level where you draft a story with Zoe by picking different ideas for her to write about. Mio's side stories are: a train heist, a gameshow with exploding bombs, a space station trying to outrun a collapsing sun, a snowboarding sim, a stranded astronaut space platformer, and a story where you are teeth (Mio's first story) and then have to fight a psychotic dentist.

It's implied that these are kind of the frivolous and abandoned story ideas. The main story follows each character through their more published ideas. For Zoe this is a high fantasy world with water that autokills you and an Ice King based on an old mean cat she knew growing up on her farm; for Mio this is a revenge quest cyberninja thing where you end up beating the shit out of an anthropomorphized version of a parking ticket meter maid. As the two navigate further through their stories, Rader (in the real world) becomes increasingly unhinged and eventually fires the scientists who are trying to get Zoe and Mio out.

Meanwhile, Zoe and Mio continue to plunge deeper into their subconsciousnesses, revealing that they are both keeping secrets and their repressed trauma is manifesting in the stories they're choosing to write. Zoe's twin sister, Ella, drowned in a river when they were young, which leaves Zoe acting bubbly and in denial that bad things can happen to people; this manifests in a final level where you must navigate to the bottom of an abandoned temple and fight a hydra using the superpowers that Zoe and Ella used to pretend having. This is easily the most gorgeous level in the game imo. Mio's father is terminally ill, symbolized by a big kraken being pumped full of pollution by evil space future polluters; they free him, but are then launched into a prison level where Mio is repressing her evil/dark personality (as the only prisoner) who, when released, tries to kill them both. Mio and Zoe help one another overcome their fears.

Rader then enters the simulation, declares he is evil (we know) and tries to kill Zoe and Mio as the final boss. They defeat him, escape the simulation, and then go off to write a book together about their experience at Rader. The epilogue is set a few months later with Mio leaving her dad's grave to go to their publishing party.

The two characters lean pretty heavily into fantasy/scifi, past/future. Zoe grew up on a farm, hates the city and techno music, and likes writing fantasy; her trauma is about past grief and repression. Mio grew up in the city, hates farms ig, and likes writing sci-fi; her trauma is about future grief and acceptance. It's not a bad parallel; I just think the characters are kind of grating at points.

going into the structure

I think this fundamentally begins to unravel for me on the conceit that the main characters are specifically authors and Rader is stealing stories. I have described about 14-16 premises so far; nothing I've described really has a story so much as a cool concept and maybe a metaphor or two. Stories have characters; because you need to be able to drop in two characters whose primary influence on the world is jumping around and using a hookshot, not making story-driven choices, these stories don't actually have a lot of meaningful depth. It just fundamentally doesn't make sense for why Rader would go through such lengths to steal "and then we ride kites" or "two teeth jump on tubes of toothpaste" when they're barely coherent ideas, let alone stories.

Spoiler: mentions of suicide

I also think dark!Mio in her final story is probably the subject of a lot of rewriting; it feels really clunky. The idea seems to be that Mio has this big dark version of herself that has protected her through all of her pain, doesn't she just want to kill everyone with a laser, why are you chaining up your anger like this--but it really falls flat with the version of "I don't do small talk" Mio who is actively abrupt and defensive and self-protecting (her decision to run from Rader and protect herself is how this all starts).

So how is this chained up? And I think the answer is that this was probably originally meant to be a manifestation of Mio's suicidal thoughts, the world destruction that dark!Mio seeks is entirely internal, I am the light at the end of your tunnel sort of thing, but this was (understandably) too much for the authors to handle and they ended up switching it. But maybe left some of the dialogue entirely unchanged.

I think it also leaves the authors in kind of a confusing place--we have like their initial fake story (Mio's anger at the world and parking tickets/her landlord; Zoe's epic cat narrative from her childhood), which appears to be something they know about and are intentionally writing, and then their reveal story (Mio's dying father and Zoe's dead sister Ella), which is kind of subconscious and not part of like, a word doc that they are actively working on. It also leads to the weird sort of implication that authors can only literally write about their traumas in the most 1:1 way possible, which is fine I think, but kind of clunky and weird, because again there aren't actually characters in these stories, so the traumas are represented by like a big squid or the idea that touching water obliterates you. It's kind of abstracted and all of the meta-talk of writing feels, oddly, like it was written by someone who's never tried to write a work of literary fiction.

I also can't really fathom how Rader, a publishing company for authors, has multimillion dollar fully immersive VR technology with like a nuclear generator attached to it. And no quarterly investor panel has been like, hey, you signed zero book deals and still lost ten billion dollars, and what's this line item for big spinning VR machine?

So on a really surface level change, if I could change nothing else, I would've made Zoe and Mio game designers. These are their ideas for cool platformers and aesthetics. That is why they don't have deep characters; they're designing platformer games that don't typically need deep characters. Rader is a VR company and they're stealing from other game devs; it's still a genAI metaphor.

But I kind of want more than that. Crucially, from this writeup, I'm staring at the bones of:

• The climax of a story about two women discovering themselves and each other is them punching an evil CEO.
• The epilogue of a story about fighting genAI from stealing all of our ideas is two people writing a story that was literally only possible because it was envisioned by genAI first.
• Sci-fi and fantasy, especially in a platforming sense, are really just the same thing in different coats of paint, and I wish the story realized that. "Sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic" is a saying for a reason tho.
• I want this to be a story about authors, and in turn to be a story about how sharing stories lets you understand people.

reconstructing

I'm assuming that the platforming sections, the co-op, and the general shape and structure of the story should stay the same. It's too much of a blank slate to say "except make the platforming cool and innovative", and I also do want it to look mostly the same.

My first major change is that Rader (company and man) is not evil. This would not be a genAI metaphor. I think that aspect is kind of rushed and the critique is ultimately undercut because the simulation does force a positive change in Zoe and Mio--and if the simulation is a metaphor for genAI, I think this makes the moral kind of inextricable from that. Obviously there's the layers of violated consent, but either way, it's really confusing and I think the main thrust of the story is two authors growing to understand one another by experiencing their worlds, which does not need a genAI metaphor.

So Rader is not evil and they also make VR/immersive reality from your brain for a living, because it really bothers me that a book publishing company is the secret development of this tech. They are, however, recruiting authors for their prototype trials, because in their experience, the technology is more immersive for individuals who have had more practice envisioning worlds, so they're doing beta testing with authors/artists/creative types.

Zoe and Mio are both invited to the VR trials. Zoe is a very established young adult fantasy author who's current series is like 27 books long and is a huge best-seller, an episodic series set in her Ice King/evil cat world based on her childhood fantasies with her sister Ella. She's also secretly kind of tired of writing this series honestly, but her publisher has her signed for a long contract and her fans are really begging for more installments. Mio has published 0 books but loves writing gritty political cyberpunk thrillers. She keeps getting advice from her agents to kind of file down the teeth and nails of her stories, but she refuses to change what she sees as the core idea of her works: the world must be changed by force.

This also gets to the actual major difference between these two authors, besides farm/city and scifi/fantasy aesthetic--Zoe's stories are all ones that can resolve with compromise and growth; her villains are all redeemable if a sympathetic hand is extended. Mio's stories are all ones with villains that are killed or eradicated outright, even if they may not strictly have forced the protagonist's hands. This is because these are two different authors with conflicting worldviews.

In this setup, I'd also have them kind of admire what the other author is self-conscious about. Mio really loves Zoe's books and grew up with them (knowing this makes Zoe proud but also wizen with age), and would actually read more even if they're kind of derivative. Zoe loves that Mio sticks to her guns and doesn't just do what her agents tell her, even though that means Mio struggles to get published. This way, the characters can admire one another in a way that's relatable but also makes them kind of inclined to be a little wary of one another, and they can accidentally say things that appear kind that will also pick at each other's nerves. Crucially, they both have what the other person wants--Zoe has success and Mio has creative freedom. They would still be kind of snippy with each other from the beginning, but more rooted in their own insecurities--Mio makes some snide comments about how Zoe is a sellout and just phoning it in; Zoe is derisive about taking advice from a child who's not even been published. Them admitting that they like things about the other would still be kind of a middle-story action/change, but in a way that there's still room for them to grow afterward.

I would keep the main story the same for both authors the same all throughout--so Zoe is stuck in the world of her 27 book best series about her Ice King world that she invented with her sister, and Mio is stuck in her unpublished draft of a pair of cyberpunk ninjas living in a semiflooded world that has an evil corporation pumping chemicals into the ocean. This is relatively minor in the grand scheme of things--it's not unheard of that the cyberpunk topworld story might also include a cyberpunk ocean--but I think it helps keep things a little neater.

So Rader is not evil in this universe, and invites them in as part of an actual legitimate testing program that is advertised to everyone as VR (and is). There is still some mishap that causes Zoe and Mio's simulations to merge, but Rader is helpful (though panicked) in this scenario. Rader doesn't hold off on pulling them out of the simulation "because their ideas are too valuable (it's kites)", but because his engineers warn him that the safe abort failsafe was only designed to to protect one mind, and they don't know for sure what would happen if they just turned off the simulation. Rader also warns them that conflict is likely to stress out the simulation, as it was not designed to have two different people controlling it.

(This does not make them less likely to conflict).

I would take the gameplay gimmick from Zoe's final side story (where you the player can select from multiple choices to determine how the story goes, like does the main character fight a crab a demon or a sheep) and bring that into the main story--if this is about how authors tell stories, and you're playing characters who are authors, you should be doing the things authors do and making creative decisions. The game is still primarily a platformer ofc, but each chapter of each author's story (before switching to the other author's story) would end with you needing to choose between two options for how this section of the story should end.

Crucially, you will not be able to progress the early game unless you choose the option that is clearly coded for the original author. So chapter 1 of Zoe's story in the Ice King world ends with you confronting a minion of the Ice King who is objectively a little evil and a little unremorseful; you are given the choice to spare (Zoe's idea) or kill (Mio's idea) them, and the story will force you to keep replaying the final choice until you choose to "spare". Chapter 1 of Mio's story with the cyberpunk poisoning the planet ends with you confronting the mayor of the surfaceworld, who has been coerced by the big corporation to be evil to you (for some sympathetic reason, like they've kidnapped his son or something); you are given the choice to kill him (Mio's idea) or help him, and the story will force you to keep replaying until you choose to kill him. This is for the meta reason that Zoe and Mio are flawed characters who have something to learn from each other; in-universe, it's because the respective author is rejecting the ending and the simulation can't process that correctly, so it needs to be the ending that that author actually wants.

The side stories are really fun and I would just keep them in for their benefit as standalone platformer additions. I think it's kind of silly that they're framed in the original as "playing these keeps Rader from using them against you" as he literally uses only them against you in the final fight. I would frame these as, Rader encourages Zoe and Mio to do these together, as maybe it'll help them build trust (and they seem kinda pissy about being in each other's main stories).

At the end of chapter 1, both authors are really frustrated that the other didn't take their suggestion for the story. "That guy was clearly beyond redemption," argues Mio. "Oh, I'm sorry, I should've just killed him off like some poor bloke trying to help his son?" Zoe shoots back. The fight for a bit and the simulation grinds for a halt, because in focusing on tearing down each other, neither author is creating anything, and this in turn stalls the simulation. Rader panics because this is also new and may be worse. They eventually reconcile a little warily, which brings back the simulation, but crucially also lets them open up about what they like about each other--Mio confesses that she's always loved Zoe's YA series, and Zoe confides that she admires Mio's creative freedom and open slate. Both authors seem pleased with each other but also kind of uneasy with themselves.

Chapter 2 plays out similarly with main and side story platforming mechanics. In this version, the characters are more comfortable with one another, so they allude more clearly to their grief. Mio's story takes them deeper into the cyberpunk ocean, and the kraken scene plays out similarly (the kraken is revealed to be trapped by the corporation and poison is being pumped into it), except again the game presents a choice:

kill the kraken (Mio)
free the kraken (Zoe)

Zoe, who is an experienced author, is the one who realizes this is a metaphor. And, while Mio vehemently denies it, Zoe thinks the kraken is a metaphor for Mio's dad (who is dying of cancer, and being pumped with poison), and wants it to go free. Mio will not advance the simulation without killing the kraken, which she sees here as a mercy. Her hand shakes as she approaches it, and--

(The scene cuts and Rader is panicking. "Where did they go? Can you get readings from them?" And one of his engineers confirms they still have vital signs but their progress in the simulation has become so unstable that it's not trackable from this side. They realize that their advice was actually kind of bad--they had initially thought that the best way to get Mio and Zoe out was for them to end their stories, kind of like ending a dream, but if Mio and Zoe keep conflicting, the simulation will tear them apart instead.)

Chapter 3. They wake up in Zoe's story and think it's kind of weird, but move on. Rader said to solve the problem, so! They enter the temple that was originally in Zoe's subconscious level. In a minor change, the temple is dedicated not to a mysterious male figure, but to a small female child. Mio cracks a joke about how Zoe's clearly putting herself on a pedestal, and Zoe does not joke back. This is a temple to Ella.

They journey to the heart of the temple, fighting their way through, where Zoe's home awaits them. Mio, who is also an author and is also able to pick up on authorial subtext, realizes--this is your heart, isn't it? And Zoe responds that she's loved sharing Ella's dreams with the world, but she's hated writing this world because she's always hated the idea of coming back to this spot. The fight plays out as normally, but at the end, there is another choice.

spare the hydra (Zoe)
kill the hydra (Mio)

Zoe and the story will not accept any answer except sparing it, even as it smirks, and--

They wake up in Mio's prison level. The prison platformer plays out as before, but when they open the vault, it's cutesy and fun like the teethworld side story (the first story Mio wrote). They descend, expecting Mio's typical violence, but nothing happens and the level is just walking. Chained at the heart of the vault is a young girl.

(Mio resents that she grew out of her childhood too soon, pressured by her father's diagnosis. Zoe resents that she could never leave her grief behind. It's like poetry it rhymes).

They realize that young!Mio is unintentionally trapping them there--her mind is what feeds the prison--and as long as she remains, no one can leave. Mio looks agonized; she clearly is picking up on her own subtext here. One choice appears on the screen.

finish the job (Mio)

Zoe's player is given the chance to mash a quicktime event. Doing so will cause her to release a blast of fantasy magic that destroys Mio's textbox and leaves instead:

help her escape (???)

Zoe and Mio free the child. The platforming section of this level happens on the way out, where everything you previously walked past becomes hostile and tries to trap the child here.

(Look. It's cliche but only in this type of story, and honestly I don't really know how else to play the Dark!Mio bit)

At the end you'd both escape the simulation, Rader is incredibly apologetic, Zoe and Mio are surprisingly chill about it. The epilogue is at Ella's grave (not Mio's dad jfc), and Zoe gets to smile and leave that one behind in order to go to the publishing party for their sick new duo book Split Fiction.

Before that I think there are a few options. The arcs are mostly wrapped up at this point, so the big Rader fight feels more like a setpiece made out of obligation for a shared final bossfight than necessity? But at the same time I did want to keep all the platforming the same. So I think I'd keep a golden ending version, where, if you did all the side stories, you're allowed to go back and replay the endings of Mio and Zoe's chapter 3 with the other's ending, and you can free the kraken/call Dad (Mio's Dad) and kill the hydra/hug Ella (Zoe's guilt).

And the main ending would be, the simulation is still collapsing, and Rader realizes they need to end one story together, not just at least one story separately. This final level would have a similar format to the storywriting Zoe ending--choosing between previous platform puzzles you've performed throughout the game, you'd take turns writing/picking obstacles for yourselves to overcome. Because that's what stories are.

the end.