TEEN: - Complete Bound Forever (based on "Just Waiting for a Friend")

[Blackjack Gabbiani]

*spoilers abound, so if you haven't seen this episode, consider this fair warning*



I have been waiting ever since, master.
I know you are no longer of this world, but still I wait.

He set me free, master, the one who bore your face. And so I wander, seeking any trace of you.

But yet, I never wander far. The same devotion that drove me to wait has bourne in me another hope, that your spirit may someday return to the mansion. In my heart I know that you never shall, but two centuries of waiting have corrupted my thoughts.

So I always return to the mansion, plagued with horrid imaginings. Why did you not return? What drove you from this world?

I have read the diary you kept, master. I know of your dealings, of your deperation to mantain the lifestyle to which you were accustomed. Was one of these the end of you?

Two hundred years of thinking this way have distorted my memory of you. I know you were a kind man to me, but who were you when I was not around? What was your true self?

Your final entry mentions that you left to make a deal in safety. You knew of the danger, and wished to protect us. But master, I would have given my life for you. Did you know that?

Or could you not bring me? What was this deal that cost you your life? Was it something that would have turned me away from you, something that would have revealed a side of you that I could not bear?

I took a human form so that I may travel under less suspicion, with the name you gave me. Like the kitsune of legend, this form has grace, strength, beauty, power...I play the role somewhat shyly, but he was your image, I could not help myself.

Somewhere within me, I believed you had returned.

Somewhere within me, I believe you still shall.

And so I wait, bound here forever by my own mind, my maddening devotion.

Spirits, if you may hear me, please bring my master to me. Or if you cannot, please, strike my soul from my body and bring me to him.

I cannot wait much longer, master. No matter what I may find of you, of your true self, I am tired of this life, of this binding to an empty house. There is nothing left here but my twisted memories.

And still I wait.

 

[Fig]

I haven't seen the actual epi, but this was a great short story .

I really liked it, though it felt a bit...stiff at time. I suppose that's partly what you were aiming at (making it feel like some old speech), but I'm not sure it really adds that much to the reading experience.

 

[Blackjack Gabbiani]

Stiff? Can you give some examples?

I didn't spend a lot of time on this one, I wanted to get it out before the idea vanished...

 

[Fig]

Well, it,S really the general choice of words...very formal, very proper. It gives it a certain "stiff" feeling, which is hard to reconcile with the idea of love for her master which this whole story seems to express.

 

[Blackjack Gabbiani]

Well, she did have a very formal way of speaking, but yeah...

*g* I have an elaborate way of writing, and I think this is the first time it's failed me. Or...not 'failed' per se, but...more of...first time I've stumbled on it...?

 

[Revolutionary Girl]

Ooo, a new ficlet! Here's hoping this stoked the writing fires within, so we can make poor Jiri go deeper into his insanity soon...

I kind of see what Damian's saying about the prose being overly formal. Though once I saw "Two hundred years of thinking this way have distorted my memory of you," I assumed it was just the attempt on your part to reach back and find the tone folks around that time might have used.

I like the repetition of the "Somewhere within me" parts... made me feel like she was saying that to convince herself, even though she knew it had to be futile... I dunno what it was about that line. -_-;;; not good with ideas this evening at all...

Ending line was nice. Short, bitter, hopeless ending lines rock. *grin*

More short pointful fics! More writing so we can get out of our ruts!

 

[Blackjack Gabbiani]

Originally posted by Revolutionary Girl
Ooo, a new ficlet! Here's hoping this stoked the writing fires within, so we can make poor Jiri go deeper into his insanity soon...

Jiri: ...every moment I spend with *HER* I lose a part of myself...
Me: I'm going to pretend you didn't say that.
Jiri: You call *me* delusional...
Me: Careful, or I'll do that fic where you become Bisashu's bitch.
Jiri: .........I'll be good.
Bisashu: DAMN!
Me: What are you complaining about? You have Domino!
Domino: *looks at a picture of Sexy Teen Yukio and sighs* Any chance you can introduce me to him?
Bisashu: ......she ain't bitin'.
Me: .....I'm going to pretend you didn't say *that*.

Ending line was nice. Short, bitter, hopeless ending lines rock. *grin*

Yes, I seem to do those, don't I?

 

[Jude]

Never seen the episode... but I really like this one too! <Is supposed to be doing maths but that's boring> I like Monologue stories... because they're great.

Shall have to read up on this one, actually.

thumbs up! I *LOVE* the last line though...

 

[Blackjack Gabbiani]

*g* Thanks! Yeah, I did this right after the episode aired...

 

[~** Dee Aye**~]

I have no idea what this ficlet is about, but overall, that's great, gives in the mystery and it ends in a way that makes me want to either read more or just watch the damn chapter I'm missing (one of won't happen so...) write! HA! Thought I was gonna say the other thing! HA! Fooled ya!

I should shut up.

But first! Unlike *stiffy* Damian (can't believe you're saying those kind of things here! Leave it for chats! Too much innuendo everywhere *will* get you in trouble.) I liked the wryting style, it's different form the other 2 stories I've read from you, that shows variety and character insight, not everybody talks the same, you know.

Yayness, now I leave to promote myself as a new product!

 

[Blackjack Gabbiani]

Chapter? It's based on an episode about a...well, pretty much what I said in the fic...

(If you didn't see it, Brock turns out to be the spittin' image of the Ninetails' master, who's been 'missing' for 200 years)

And thanks AGAIN! Wow, three posts and all for my ficcage! Yay!

 

[DGE]

Woo! I finally saw this episode today, so at last I could read the ficlet. As it was certainly the most dramatic ep of Pokémon I've seen in a long time, so I'd say it's deserving of a Blackjack fic.

Writing with such a "stiff" tone always catches my attention, and given that Ninetails is over 200, I'd expect her to narrate in such a manner. So I liked it muchly.

 

[Rocky Cliffs]

I haven't seen the episode (haven't seen the animé since around Orange, practically), but the narration was good. Didn't seem stiff to me.

Oh, and nice last line. ;-)


~Rocky *sneezes* Cliffs

 

[Ginger Cat]

I actually saw this episode, wow.
The whole idea was remorseful, and this ficlet is the same way... I loved it. It's haunting, in a way, and... Hell, excellent job with the tone, and the very story overall.
Definitely haunted...