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BREAKING NEWS: Tom Cruise was happier in previous lives!

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Argy

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From http://toronto.fashion-monitor.com/news.php/Celebrity_Style/2005082202tom_cruise

Scientologist Tom Cruise revealed that he is much older than the forty three years he has spent in his present body.

Tom Cruise noted that he is "old beyond reckoning." What's more, his current life is "probably one of the least satisfying" he has led.

"I was much happier in previous existences when I wrote plays, composed music, conquered nations, discovered continents, and developed cures for diseases," said Tom Cruise.

Cruise said he became aware that he "had been here before," when he read the complete works of Shakespeare in a month, despite being dyslexic, not long after dropping out of high school.

"Shakespeare was deja vu for me," said Tom Cruise. "It was so cool. I felt as if I had seen his words already, knew them all by heart. Then, after I began studying scientology, I realized the words had come from my heart in a previous life. That's why I say that as glorious and enviable as my present life is, making 'War of the Worlds' and all those other great movies can't compare to writing 'Romeo and Juliet' or the sonnets."

In addition to recognizing his days of future passed in the works of Shakespeare and Bach—and in the achievements of Columbus and Napoleon—Cruise recognizes the continuing reappearance of "Anti-Thetanic forces," such as Matt Lauer and Brooke Shields, with whom he has clashed in former lives.


Clearly, Tom Cruise is worthy of our worship.
 
Have you ever noticed how no one was ever a dirt-poor farmer in a previous life?
 
I've been telling people for years that I was a stable cleaner in a previous life...

I've got to say, what an arrogant prick.
 
Tom Cruise continues to make EVERYTHING HE TOUCHES look bad. Last time he did anything good was the 80s. And even THAT'S debatable. The man makes me embarrassed to be human.
 
His current life is 'probably one of the least satisfying?" He's a multi-millionaire with a pretty fiancée and a lucrative career, not to mention enjoyable hobbies. He's not estranged from his family. If this is least satisfying, I'd love to see what most satisfying is on the Scientology Scale of Life.

And does anyone else think the article was written as a joke? That's how it sounded to me when I read through it.
 
Now I want to know who Matt Lauer and Brooke Shields were in their former lives.
 
Aaaah, I see. X_x

But doesn't it just go to show how batshit the guy is, given that we actually believed it?

EDIT: *Snort* The original article is love.

"I know the history of this woman; other people don't," said Cruise.

XDDDD
 
T_T Nooooo! I was really relating to him as I read that article. I know my past lifetime and the one before that and the one before that. btw, my first lifetime on earth was my previous one.
 
Have you ever noticed how no one was ever a dirt-poor farmer in a previous life?

Supposedly, in my past lives, I've been (in this order):

1) A salamander that was stepped on.
2) A pampered housecat
3) A poor British gardener who was murdered with his own tools.
4) A girl who drowned in a lake at age 5 in Germany.
5) Me


So far, life #5 and life #2 have been about equal in terms of quality.
 
I was about to believe it but then I remember him jumping on Oprah's couch like some little kid then I said what a crazy fool he is.=p

050609_cruise_hlg11a.hlarge.jpg
------look he is jumping on another couch(The tonight show with Jay Leno couch) -.-;
 
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Murgatroyd said:
Have you ever noticed how no one was ever a dirt-poor farmer in a previous life?
I have reasons to believe I was an eggplant in a previous life.

Dirt-poor farmer > > > > Eggplant.

Just for the record I can't stand eggplants ... the smell alone is enough to make me wanna gag.
 
Anyone else think that Tom is going through a midlife crisis of epic proportions? Jumping on furniture, riding motorcycles and doing various 'daredevil' stunts, dating someone 16 years his junior...?

At least Nicole Kidman conducts herself with dignity.
 
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