Calling customer support

[Lugia trainer]

There are other threads that are similar to this but I thought I'd do this anyway. How it works is you're calling a company's customer support about a product you ordered. The first poster says what they bought and what the problem is then the next person replies to them as costumer support telling them how to fix the problem then they report a problem.

Example:

poster 1: I bought a coffee maker but whenever I try to make coffee I get hot lava instead

poster 2: Did you make sure it's not set to unbelievably hot?

I bought a rubber ball but when I bounce it gets stuck in the air

etc.

I'll go first

I bought a waffle iron but all it makes is pancakes.

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

Did you make sure to put in the correct batter?

I bought an oven, but whenever I start it up, it freezes.

 

[Wispy Willow]

Are you sure an Ice type isn't playing a prank on you?

Hello? Yeah, uh... My Pokéball captured me insted.

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

How are you able to call us, then?

Excuse me, I bought an elephant, but it keeps forgetting everything.

 

[Lugia trainer]

Did you make sure to feed it the memory peanuts that are included?

I bought a refrigerator but all it does is melt stuff.

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

Did you remember to plug it in?

My good sir and/or madam, I recently acquired one of your Giant Killer Robots, but it absolutely refuses to go on a murderous rampage.

 

[Berrenta]

Are you sure it wasn't reprogrammed to perform other tasks?

I just bought a clock, but the clock hands are going in reverse.

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

What do you mean? The hands on the clock have always gone that way, and we always get younger as the years decline.

Excuse me, I purchased this yo-yo, and it seems to be missing a string.

 

[DracoMan]

*in heavy foreign accent* You say your dodo fishing a ring? Dodo no fish.

Hey, my fridge just turned into a doorway to a parallel universe.

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

Welcome to Narnia.

I bought a cow, but instead of going 'moo' it makes a strange noise. It goes 'shazoo.'

 

[Lugia trainer]

Yes that's what our cows do.

I bought a tv but when I change the channel it goes right back to the one I was just on then laughs at me.

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

That's because I control the horizontal and the vertical.

I bought a chocolate bar, and it seems to be missing.

 

[Lugia trainer]

Are you sure you didn't eat it?

I bought a real human skeleton from you but it's missing an arm.

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

Oh yes, they made us disarm him before shipping it. Apparently the law of concealed carry doesn't apply to skeletons.

Excuse me, I recently purchased a doorknob, but now I can't get into that room.

 

[Berrenta]

It's probably locked. You do have the key for it, don't you?

I bought a hamster, but it thinks it's a cat.

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

Did you try making it look in the mirror?

I purchased a golf club, but I'm pretty sure I received a baseball bat.

 

[League]

Your problem is with batty delivery then!

Your refrigerator is cooking all my ramen noodles!

 

[Maniacal Engineer]

...sir I'm pretty sure that's a Microwave.

Um, I think this avocado gave me a wedding ring.

 

[Berrenta]

Oh, it did? One of our farmers lost their ring. Mind sending it over so we can verify it was theirs?

I bought a computer mouse, but it won't click on anything.

 

[Wispy Willow]

Are you sure they didn't give you a real one?

My Christmas tree spontaniously combusted!