COMPLETE: Caterpie's Thoughts

[ShinyMuk]

So what? Im not a rare pokemon. who cares? im also one of the weakest in the universe, but that doesnt bug me. you know why? because people are afraid of me. And you cant disagree. how can you explain the fact that everyone level 20+ see us caterpies they run away? explain that, einstein. and, im most of the newbies second pokemon. too bad they forget about later or worse, they release me. And then, the cycle begins.
Well, on another hand, im not a Metapod. (Evolves).

 

[White Len]

Why don't you just compile all of this into one thread? It's a lot easier to keep track. A thread called "The Thoughts of Pokémon" is nice.

As for the actual story, well, it's nothing special. There's more to Pokémon than numbers; I think Caterpie has a lot more to say about its feelings. The idea is actually quite good, but you need to get more into it.

Oh, and the grammar. God, the grammar...

Rating: 2/5

 

[Zephy]

The grammar is terrible. The thoughts frankly aren't that interesting. As far as first person stories go...this is quite bad. It's also barely a paragraph log. I had high hopes and thought it sounded interesting when I read the title. You have disappointed me mister.

 

[Treemo]

... What.

BAD... GRAMMAR... OVERLOAD...

I'm a fan of Caterpies, Metapods, and Butterfrees (Glacia knows why...), but GOD. What the hell? This is shit. I'm going to go read My Immortal.

 

[Omotenium]

This is seriously the one of the best fanfictions I;ve ever read. Certainly the greatest Pokemon fanfiction I've ever read.

10/10

:XD:

 

[White Len]

This is seriously the one of the best fanfictions I;ve ever read. Certainly the greatest Pokemon fanfiction I've ever read.

10/10

:XD:

How many fanfics have you read, by the way? Again, this plot is very easy to come up with in your head. Again, I ask, why read something you can think up in your head?

 

[Omotenium]

Well why don't you try writing a story like this? I couldn't come up with this. At least not honestly.

but that doesnt bug me.

It's a pun! I just caught that! Nice work.

 

[Blastoise]

Well why don't you try writing a story like this? I couldn't come up with this. At least not honestly.

oh hey there

PS you are a bad forum troll and that's sad =(

 

[Sliv]

I have 2 Butterfrees. Ones level 70 and the other's level 80. I love them dearly. (Lol, exaggerating a bit, but they are great.)

 

[Jimiinthesky]

i've never cared about grammer when it comes to written word. the story, the narrative, the dialogue, the ideas and the feeling of the story is what matters to me, so the grammer here doesnt really bother me

but you have nooo imagination :| why would you wirte a short story about somthing thats already been imagined? i've never quite understood that :/ theres soooo much possibility when it comes to stories, you could imagine anything you like

so stop writting these boring stories :| ah ha!

 

[Omotenium]

oh hey there

PS you are a bad forum troll and that's sad =(

You're calling me a troll? That's not even an attempt. That's just insulting. :thumbd:

 

[White Len]

i've never cared about grammer when it comes to written word. the story, the narrative, the dialogue, the ideas and the feeling of the story is what matters to me, so the grammer here doesnt really bother me

but you have nooo imagination :| why would you wirte a short story about somthing thats already been imagined? i've never quite understood that :/ theres soooo much possibility when it comes to stories, you could imagine anything you like

so stop writting these boring stories :| ah ha!

Well, you should. Bad grammar turns off many readers, since most are English and they know what grammar is...

But with so many English guys, you'd wonder why there are so many bad fanfics turning up here...

 

[Omotenium]

Proper english isn't necessary for all literature. I like this guy's style. It's like talking. Real organic. The sentence construction creates lots of pauses, which heightens the impact. Would Pokemon think in proper english?

 

[White Len]

Proper english isn't necessary for all literature. I like this guy's style. It's like talking. Real organic. The sentence construction creates lots of pauses, which heightens the impact. Would Pokemon think in proper english?

While we're at it, would Pokémon speak in English? o.0

Oh, snap, gotta end this before it turns into a debate.

 

[woops]

Proper english isn't necessary for all literature. I like this guy's style. It's like talking. Real organic. The sentence construction creates lots of pauses, which heightens the impact. Would Pokemon think in proper english?

Yes. Lets see, Slowking, Mewtwo, Mew, Lucario, the list goes on.

Also, this would suck even in decent grammar, to be blunt. It's too short, the idea has been used before, it goes on forever there, too.

 

[Omotenium]

Yeah, but would a Caterpie? Don't tihnk so...