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Confessions of a Champion

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First off, if you're thinking to yourself 'I vaguely remember something with that title from years ago...' you're not crazy, you're right. This was a project I started at the beginning of 2011, but due to various stuff IRL it got shelved. When I was reformatting an old hard drive, I stumbled upon my old writing and notes and I decided I wanted to finish this fic. But I also realized that it needed a rewrite because there were things that could be improved. Also my writing style has changed in three years.

Before we get into this, I should provide a disclaimer beyond the mark of MATURE given at the top of the thread. This isn't one of those 'soft M' fics due to a couple of swear words, this fic will tackle some dark, mature themes (drug and alcohol addiction, sex - no sex scenes but still content of a sexual nature - and one chapter later on will be getting a trigger warning of its own, but we'll get there when we get there...) and could easily disgust or horrify people who aren't prepared for it.

Table of Contents:
Coronation (Prologue) -
This post



Coronation



When you think about a Pokémon battle in the simplest of terms, it is amazing how barbaric we as trainers seem. We send our pets… our close friends and in many cases lifelong companions… out onto a battle field. We tell them to stare at someone else’s cherished and loved pet… and we tell them to fight each other until they cannot fight anymore. We watch them bleed. We watch them suffer grievous injuries... and sometimes... Arceus forbid... we watch them die for us.

We tell Pokémon to send sharp rocks at each other. We tell Pokémon to shoot jets of flame at each other… and yet… victory is something that is glorified, cheered and victory at the highest levels represents eternal fame and riches. Now I know you are probably saying that I shouldn’t be complaining about something like this… and you’re right, I shouldn’t be. That’s why I’m not complaining about it, but simply making an idle observation. That this fact is one of the many things that keep me awake at night, that it took me twenty-one years to realize the hypocrisy of it all. Realizing all the pain I’ve put my team through… even though they would never hesitate to jump into battle for me… their loyalty is nothing short of remarkable. In fact, I’ll be blunt. I don’t deserve it. In fact, I probably deserve them breaking out of their balls and mauling me in my sleep. I couldn’t hold it against them if they did. Not after all the shit I put them through.

Six Pokémon on a trainer’s belt at one time. It sounds like such a small number. But what those six can represent… the doors they can open for their trainer… it brings me back to that fateful evening almost four years ago. The Pokémon battle that changed my entire life.



“James, I have been expecting you. It’s a pleasure to see you.” I hadn’t even made my way completely into the room and yet Jet was speaking to me. Jet Mayweather, one of my childhood heroes. Jet Mayweather, the man who had given me a Tyrogue egg at the age of fifteen. Jet Mayweather, the Cielo Islands League Champion. Before responding, I took a few moments to look around, to give the reality of the situation a chance to sink in. The room I had stepped into was a large boxing ring, large enough to hold a regulation Pokémon battle.

There was a spotlight shining on the center of the ring and this light was bright enough to illuminate the whole room. And in the center of the ring, the champion was standing with a confident smile on his face. The light from above shone on his bald chocolate colored skin, skin that was flawless and covering a body that was at the peak of physical fitness. Even though he was on the older side for a fighting champion, he was still a deadly threat in the ring because with age comes experience and he combined years of experience with a body that was harder than steel due to countless hours in the gym. He was wearing a red and gold robe and his boxing trunks of the same color were labeled in shimmering silver with his last name.

“Mr. Mayweather sir.” I was still in awe at the whole scene. After all, I was just a twenty-one year old kid. I brushed my messy light brown hair out of my emerald green eyes and smiled at my idol. “I’m surprised that there’s no one in here… I was expecting a crowd.” I admitted softly. My usual unwavering confidence had slipped away under the spotlight. It didn’t help that I felt overdressed because I was wearing a black cashmere sweater and a pair of grey dress pants. While I was no stranger to the spotlight, it had always been as a member of a team… not alone. The difference between sharing the space under the bright lights with a team and on your own… it was nearly staggering.

“As much as I like people…” Jet flashed a bright white smile and held his hands out in front of him, his palms facing upward in a cordial gesture. “Some things aren’t meant to be a public spectacle.”

I nodded in understanding as I ducked under the ropes in order to enter the ring. With my head held high, I walked over so I stood face to face with my opponent. Even though I’m over six feet tall, I had to look upward slightly to stare into his eyes, emerald green looking into coffee brown. “Like the ‘twist’ you mentioned in your challenge. The ‘twist’ you still haven’t told me about.” I said with a slight hint of annoyance in my voice. I had been unable to sleep for the past three nights because of the ‘twist’ that Jet had mentioned, a twist that he promised would have a major effect on our battle.

In response to my statement, Jet just let off a booming laugh that echoed throughout the entire chamber. This brought a frown to my face because I didn’t think he was taking my concerns seriously. “James my boy… surprises are one of the things that make life so great.” Jet pointed out to me. “After all, do you really want to go through life knowing everything?”

In my mind, I was thinking ‘You know what Jet, I would love to go through life knowing everything.’ But I wasn’t about to say that to a League Champion, especially one that I had looked up to since I was ten. Instead, I replied, “I guess you’re right… so… should we get started?” Jet flashed another bright smile and nodded. He motioned with his hands to the back of the room, where a platform emerged from what was seemingly a solid rock wall. Standing on the platform was the official for the battle, holding a gold flag and a silver flag. I knew that Jet’s color was gold and mine was silver because of the color motif that the champion was wearing at the moment.

“You know the rules of engagement of course.” Jet stated. “But they are slightly different in here… it will be your normal six versus six… but there will be no switching by either the champion or the challenger.” This caused me to raise my eyebrows. “Instead, after every knockout, both trainers will bring a new Pokémon in until one of us is out of usable fighters.” I felt dizzy when Jet told me this. I knew that this was the twist that he was referring to. And I wasn’t expecting something like that. “And after every two Pokémon rounds… you and I will give our loyal friends a break by stepping into the ring ourselves for a one minute round. Three rounds in total after the second, fourth and sixth bouts between our friends. From there it will be a fight to the finish until the last.”

My jaw dropped through the floor and my stomach shot right through the open hole. While I was quite a physical specimen due to the fact that I worked out with my Pokémon every day, there was no way I could match up against Jet Mayweather, who was a famous mixed martial arts champion. He was known for having a devastating right hook that I could easily picture breaking my perfectly symmetrical face and sending me to the canvas for an hour or three. The fact that I was wearing a designer sweater and dress slacks certainly didn’t help matters. Not only would I be forced to go toe to toe with a professional fighter, I would be doing it in clothes that were suited for a night out or a business meeting, not a boxing ring.

“So I have to fight you…” I said softly. I wasn’t even considering winning this battle now; I was just hoping to escape without permanent brain damage or worse. “That doesn’t really seem fair.”

“Oh but I believe it is far.” Jet said after a moment. His voice had gone softer than his usual booming confident tones. He sounded oddly introspective. “Think about it James… our Pokémon step into the ring and sweat. They bleed and feel pain for us… shouldn’t we do the same for them?” I thought about this for a long moment. It made a lot of sense; because after all, our Pokémon sacrifice so much for us, and yet we barely do anything to return the gesture. I also didn’t realize it, but these words would stick with me for a long time and they certainly wouldn’t help my mental state over the years.

“I’ve never thought about it like that.” I said to Jet as I slowly walked into my corner of the ring. Thinking quickly, I peeled off my sweater just as Jet removed his robe. I looked across the ring and smiled. If only Jet’s fangirls could see this; he and I, two men at the absolute peak of physical fitness, both shirtless and ready to wage a battle for the title of Champion.

I looked down at my belt for what seemed like an eternity. It seemed like an impossible decision; which of my Pokémon to lead with. Should I lead with Rocky, my Arcanine and my starter. The Pokémon that had been with me every step of the way. Or should I go with Dominic, my Dragonite? My enforcer that intimidated almost every Pokémon he had faced in the recent past. Or how about any of my other Pokémon, all of which I trusted implicitly. Ultimately, I knew there was only one Pokémon I could start the battle with. Reaching onto my black belt, I plucked off a worn and scratched red and white sphere. “Rocky, let’s start off hot.” I muttered to myself as I held the ball in my hand. I waited for Jet to select his own Pokémon before tossing the sphere out into the center of the ring.

“Arcanine versus Gallade.” The referee said from his safety platform that was currently suspended high above the ring. “This battle will be a six on six match. The winner will be crowned Champion of the Cielo Islands League.” The official announced in a piece of clarification that wasn’t needed in the slightest; Jet and I knew exactly what was at stake in this match. “Let the battle begin.”

I looked out at the psychic / fighting dual type in front of me. I knew that Gallade’s most powerful attacks would come from the lethal looking green blades that extended from his small arms. I had to formulate a strategy that allowed Rocky to avoid those blades at any cost. I looked across the ring at Jet, who appeared cool, calm and collected. I envied him because I knew this was far from the first time he had defended his title, so there was really no reason for him to be nervous. But I on the other hand was nearly crippled due to anxiety. Sweat was beginning to drip down my forehead and I felt flushed under the bright spotlight. And then I realized that the spotlight was nothing but an intimidation tactic; that its only purpose was to make the challenger feel exactly how I felt right now; nervous, anxious, and confused.

It was a small victory, but it was also something I needed. “Rocky, Flamethrower! Stay back from those blades!” I shouted in a tone that belied my rising confidence. My powerful and loyal Arcanine howled loudly in an attempt to intimidate Gallade before opening his mouth and sending a powerful jet of white-hot flame at the green and white fighter. The flames came closer and closer to Gallade and I was sure that he could feel the heat… and then right when I was sure the flames were going to score a direct hit, the psychic type vanished. ‘Damn… it used Teleport…’ I thought to myself. “Rocky! Cut the flames!” I shouted as Gallade reappeared directly behind my Arcanine. “Spin! Extremespeed!” I shouted quickly as Gallade began to charge Rocky with his blades fully extended. The powerful cutting weapons took on an ominous purple hue as Gallade approached. Rocky the Arcanine crouched on his powerful back legs for a moment before powering himself into the air and he began his charge at Gallade.

An Arcanine’s pure athleticism at full speed was simply breathtaking, and being that Rocky was incredibly well trained, he could cover massive distances in the blink of an eye. In this case, the distance was the fifteen or so meters between himself and Gallade. Gallade crossed his blades in front of himself, but he was simply too slow to start the Psycho Cut attack that Jet had ordered. Rocky slammed into Gallade’s chest with a powerful shoulder tackle which propelled Gallade hard into the ropes less than five feet from me. Out of pure instinct, I quickly retreated to the corner in order to make it much less likely I took a direct hit from either Pokémon. Gallade quickly hopped up and my movement to avoid getting hit by a stray attack caused me to lose my chance to attack the Gallade while it was stunned from hitting the hard ropes of the boxing ring.

I turned to look at my Arcanine and I noticed that the Gallade’s action of crossing his blades in front of himself at the last moment had caused a small cut to open up on the shoulder which Arcanine had struck Gallade with. I knew that the wound wasn’t serious, but it could possibly slow Rocky’s unparalleled speed. This worried me immensely because it would be hard to snipe Gallade down with ranged attacks because it could easily elude them by teleporting. As I thought about my next move, I realized that Jet had beaten me to the punch. Gallade was on the move, dashing to the left and right with his blades coated in black shadows as he charged Rocky. Twenty five meters was the gap between Gallade and Arcanine, and that distance was shrinking quickly. I didn’t have much time to think of an attack. “Flare Blitz!” I shouted without really thinking. Rocky howled once more as he coated his entire body in red and white flames before beginning to charge Gallade. The Gallade had learned from his mistake in the last clash and started his slashing attack much earlier and to my horror Rocky ran directly into a powerful uppercut slash from Gallade, an attack that would have felled many a battler.

However, Rocky was simply too powerful and too tough for one slash to stop his attack and the flame-coated Arcanine slammed into Gallade with an impressive amount of power. Once again, Gallade was sent hard into the ropes. Meanwhile, Rocky slid to a stop. His face was now cut as well, but luckily the cut wouldn’t impact his vision because the cut was on the underside of his jaw. A few drips of blood began to fall from both the cut on his face and on his shoulder, but I knew that Rocky had taken far more punishment than that and continued to fight. Rocky shook his head quickly to clear it after the hard strikes from the Flare Blitz of his own doing and the Night Slash attack that Gallade had used to score a direct hit. “Flamethrower!” I shouted and Rocky unleashed another powerful jet of flames.

But this time, Gallade was in no shape to dodge the attack or teleport out of the way. In fact, Gallade was barely standing, using the ropes on the side of the ring to keep himself upright. The red, white and green head of the unfortunate Pokémon was drooped to the side and it was clear that the only thing keeping the Gallade up was the ropes it was leaning against. Gallade lifted its head slightly just as the jet of flames struck it directly in the chest. After only a few moments, I nodded once in a curt manner to make it clear to Rocky that he should cut off the attack. The loyal Arcanine behaved just as I expected and stopped the flames that were currently coating the Gallade. I watched with an almost sad expression as the Gallade stood up, staggered forward for three shaky steps and then fell hard on its face. It was clear that it wasn’t getting up.

“Gallade is unable to battle. This round goes to Arcanine.” The official announced from high above the ring as he held up the silver flag in his left hand. “Challenger, please recall your Arcanine and then select a new Pokémon for the next round two.” I nodded and motioned for Rocky to return to my side.

“You were fantastic out there.” I told Rocky as he reached my side. I smiled brightly as I scratched him between the ears, causing them to prick up and his tail began to wag in a content manner. I reached over with his ball and tapped the return mechanism, sending Rocky back into his ball in a flash of red light. Deep down I knew that I would be needing him for the end game, so I placed the ball gently onto the back slot of my belt. Being up 6 -5, I had a difficult decision to make. The constant switching after every round was a tactic that I wasn’t used to. It took me a minute before I finally made a decision. “Nevicata.” I said softly to myself as I plucked another ball off of my belt. “You’re up.” Tossing the ball out into the center of the ring, I slowly realized that I was in serious trouble. Because standing across from my Glaceon was a rather angry looking Infernape. The constant switching was going to be the death of me if I kept walking into matchups like this.

“This round will be Glaceon versus Infernape.” The official announced loudly from his perch. “Begin.”

I knew that my only chance in this matchup was to use status moves and wear the Infernape down for later. “Attract!” I ordered quickly just as Infernape began to charge at my Glaceon with his entire body covered in flames. Nevicata sat down on her back legs and looked Infernape right in the eyes and I could see a smirk cross the female Glaceon’s face. She fluttered her eyelids and looked up at Infernape with a playful smile. The effect on the Infernape was immediate and the flaming monkey slid to a screeching halt five meters away from Glaceon. ‘Thank Arceus that Infernape is male’ I thought to myself as I planned my next move ‘Otherwise Nevicata would have been in for a world of pain…’

“Infernape!” Jet shouted from the other side of the ring. “Focus!” I looked over at Infernape, which was now shaking its head rapidly to try and get Nevicata’s charm out of his mind.

“Shadow Ball!” I ordered Nevicata to go on the offensive right away. She nodded and opened her mouth to release a purple ball of ominous energy that shot at Infernape, which was still under the effects of her spell. I was sure that the Shadow Ball was going to score a hit from such a close range, but it was not to be. When the attack was less than a meter away, Infernape’s eyes flashed red and he jumped over the Shadow Ball.

“Back up!” I shouted to Nevicata, but it was too late. Infernape closed the small distance between himself and my Glaceon in the short time it took for me to tell her to back up. Before Nevicata could even turn to take a step in the other direction, Infernape drew back a flaming fist and threw a powerful right hook that caught Nevicata on the left cheek. She was sent sliding into the ropes hard which caused me to cringe. Steam was coming off of her body; a result of hot flame hitting an ice cold Pokémon like Glaceon. Infernape began to charge at Nevicata again, dashing left and right in order to make himself a more difficult target.

“Ice Beam!” I shouted in a panicked fashion. Deep down I knew this was a bad move selection, but I didn’t have time to come up with anything else. Nevicata hopped up onto her paws and released a powerful light blue beam straight in front of her. Infernape, in order to attack Nevicata head on, dashed straight into the path of the beam. The ice slammed into Infernape’s right shoulder, spinning the monkey around. Showing off the incredible agility and athleticism that his species is known for, Infernape didn’t fall and managed to right himself and continue his charge at Glaceon. “Ice Be-” My order was cut off due to the fact that Infernape had knocked Nevicata into the ropes with a brutal spinning kick. I watched helplessly as Infernape pounced on Nevicata and drove her into the ropes over and over again with a brutal combination of kicks and punches. And then, after what seemed like an eternity, Infernape backed off and strode back to Jet. Nevicata didn’t even try to stand, her face battered and bruised. Ducking under the ropes, I walked over to Nevicata and picked her up carefully.

“You’ll be okay girl.” I said softly as I ran my hand over her ice cold fur. “You did good out there… I threw you into a pretty bad matchup.” I conceded before returning Nevicata back to her ball and placing it on my belt. I never felt guilt in my personal life and yet as I held my Glaceon in my arms… I felt sick but I knew that I had to shake it off. It was my fault that she had suffered such a beating, but I would have time to dwell on that after I suffered my own beating; it was truly poetic in a way.

“Glaceon is unable to battle. This round goes to Infernape.” The official announced in an odd sounding voice. When I looked up at his platform, I noticed something peculiar; the platform he was on was slowly dropping towards the floor. Figuring something odd was happening, I looked into the center of the ring where the platform was going to land. Except the center of the ring was now a blank space; the floor had opened up when I wasn’t looking.

“We need the official down at our level when you and I spar.” Jet explained as he stepped into the ring; he could clearly see that I was confused due to the change in scenery. He was now wearing thin mixed martial arts fighters gloves. I looked to my left and noticed that a pair of gloves for me was sitting on a platform that hadn’t been there moments ago. Knowing I had no other options, I slid the gloves onto my hands and stepped into the ring. I kept my head held high as I joined Jet and the match official in the center of the ring.

“This will be a one minute round.” The official told us and we both nodded. “No shots below the belt and I want a good clean fight.” After slamming our fists together in the traditional way (I’d seen enough fights on TV to know the pre-match rituals), Jet and I headed to our respective corners. In my head I was starting to formulate a plan. Since the round in which I would have to fight was only one minute long, I could stay on the defensive and avoid taking too much damage. If I focused on dodging and parrying Jet’s blows, maybe I could prevent myself from seeing stars.

My thoughts were interrupted by the loud echo of a ringing bell, signaling that the round had begun. I stepped out of my corner slowly and brought my fists up to protect my face. Jet shot out of his corner and went on the offensive. I barely had time to flex my abdominal muscles before his right fist slammed into the left side of my ribcage. Pain shot through my entire body as I stepped back from him, only to be greeted to another bone-shattering body blow. I felt a rib crack from the second punch and I knew that staying on the defensive would only cause me more pain.

So, going against every instinct, I stepped forward and threw a hard right hook at Jet’s jaw. The champ was caught by surprise, expecting me to attempt to stay on the defensive the entire time and just try to weather the storm. He took a step back from me to prevent me from turning one lucky blow into a dangerous combination. While I had no formal training as a fighter, Jet knew that I was phenomenal athlete in my own right, blessed with near superhuman speed, strength and vision… if he left himself open I could tag him. But he wasn’t going to leave himself open, he was too smart, too well-trained, too quick for that.

“You know James… you’re the first challenger I’ve ever had that actually landed a punch.” Jet remarked with a smile before stepping forward and aiming a snap kick at my stomach. His right heel scored a direct hit and I staggered back from the hard blow. I could feel blood beginning to trickle from my mouth so I turned my head to the side and spit. Seeing a mouthful of blood spill onto the canvas was never a good sign, but I knew that I only needed to last about twenty more seconds before the round would end and the battle would shift back to conventional Pokémon battling.

Knowing I couldn’t just sit back and take punches and kicks to the body any longer, I ran at Jet and unleashed an all-out attack. It was almost as if I was flailing as I wildly threw punches as fast as I could. A trained fighter, Jet eluded or blocked every single one with ease. I quickly began to tire from the effort and my attacks began to slow down. My last punch was a wild and powerful uppercut aimed at Jet’s jaw. He sidestepped to the left and unleashed a jab with his left fist that caused my head to snap back from the impact. I was punch-drunk and I was sure that he was going to knock me out…

DING!

I shook my head rapidly in an attempt to wake myself up. Hearing the echoing bell, I realized that the round was over. I had made it through the first minute that I would have to spar with Jet. I watched Jet confidently trot back to his corner as the official’s platform began to rise back up towards the ceiling. I spit up another mouthful of blood before walking slowly back to my own corner. My head was still spinning as I took a moment to decide on my next Pokémon. “Creed, you’re up.” I said softly after a few moments before flicking his ball onto the canvas. Jet countered with his Heracross.

“This round will be between Heracross and Hitmonchan.” The official announced. “Let the match begin.”

I took a long moment to think about my tactics for this particular matchup. Both Heracross and my Hitmonchan had to get up close in order to use their best attacks. There would be no hit and run tactics; this was going to be a straight up street fight. “Creed! Ice Punch!” I pointed at Jet’s Heracross, which was already flying in a straight line towards Creed, ready to strike a powerful blow with his signature horn. The horn was glowing a bright green, a color that I recognized as a Megahorn attack. Creed saw exactly what I saw, so he quickly feinted to his left, causing Heracross to lunge in that direction. Creed then took a powerful jab step to his right before bringing his right fist up and firing off a crisp jab with his frozen fist. The jab scored a direct hit on Heracross, who was still trying to bring his horn back in the direction of Hitmonchan. Unfortunately, Heracross kept moving even after being struck by the powerful icy punch, something that neither Creed nor I expected. With a powerful swipe, Heracross took out Creed’s legs, sending him hard to the canvas.

“Fire Punch!” I shouted to my downed fighter. I knew that he would be able to get up on his own and that he would strike with the next attack when he was ready. Creed watched Heracross carefully, waiting for the right time to move. The opportunity came when Heracross attempted to strike with another Megahorn attack from point blank range. It stabbed downwards with its deadly horn. I watched as the horn got closer and closer to Creed’s torso. When it was only inches from causing grievous injury, Creed rolled to his right. Heracross’ horn stabbed through the canvas, causing the bug type to be stuck for a moment. This gave Creed the time he needed to hop to his feet. “Now! Strike while Heracross is immobilized!” I ordered without hesitation, still angry about how brutal Infernape had attacked Nevicata during the previous round when she was pinned up against the ropes.

“Fists of Fire and Ice!” I ordered the attack and Creed nodded. As Heracross struggled to pull his horn out of the bottom of the ring, Creed pounced on the helpless bug with his right fist covered in flames and his left covered in ice. With an unbridled fury, Creed lashed out with a powerful combination of rights and lefts. The defenseless Heracross had no chance. Just as it managed to pull its horn free, Creed struck home with a vicious flaming uppercut, sending Heracross sprawling to the mat. Creed stared at his downed foe for a moment before raising his fists in celebration.

“This round goes to Hitmonchan. The champion is down to four Pokémon while the challenger has five remaining.” The match official announced as I called Creed over to my side.

“Something tells me I really should regret giving you that egg six years ago.” Jet told me with a smile that made it clear he was joking about his ‘regret.’ I couldn’t help but laugh and nod in agreement.

“I guess so…” I grinned. “But really, you couldn’t have found a better home for Creed here.” I laid a gentle hand on the punching Pokémon’s shoulder.

“Suppose that’s true.” Jet said and I could see that he had already returned Heracross and that he had already selected the next Pokémon that he would use. I thought about my decision for a long moment. I had already used Arcanine, Glaceon and Hitmonchan. I wanted to save Dragonite for the end. This thought process took longer than it should have, my mind still hazy.
It was at this point that I knew I had suffered yet another concussion… making five or six lifetime, hard to count such things. I was familiar with the symptoms and the last punch that Jet had nailed me with had caused it. A small part of my mind told me that I could withdraw with no shame, but I had made it this far, I was sticking it out until the bitter end.

“Drago, you’re up.” I said as I released my Charizard. Jet grinned cheekily at me as he revealed his selection; Poliwrath.

“Damn.” I gritted my teeth in annoyance. This was not going to be an easy win. Not by any means. While Charizard had the mobility and flight advantage, Poliwrath was a tough son of a gun and he also held the type advantage.

“This round will be between Poliwrath and Charizard. Let the match begin.”

“Up in the air!” I shouted to Drago and he took off in a flash. Between the referee’s platform high above the arena and the slightly raised floor of the ring itself, I had about twenty meters of clearance. Plenty of room for Charizard to get up high in the sky and work on wearing Poliwrath down from range. Drago quickly reached a height of fifteen meters and began lazily circling Poliwrath. “Air Slash!” I shouted and Charizard roared before flapping his wings, sending a powerful burst of air down at Poliwrath. I watched as Poliwrath nimbly rolled under the attack and countered with a powerful burst of water. “Flamethrower!” I shouted and Charizard’s powerful burst of flame struck the rising column of water. A spreading cloud of steam began to fill the entire chamber, causing the temperature to rise and making it a bit harder to see what was going on. “Sunny Day!” I cried out and Charizard nodded. He held out his wings and a large ball of yellow light emerged, floating high above the arena. I began to sweat profusely from the heat and I noticed that the steam quickly began to dissipate. I was about to order another attack when I noticed Poliwrath use another powerful water attack. Charizard didn’t have time to dodge and the jet of high-pressured water struck his right wing. Drago shook off the super-effective attack and flew a bit lower, wanting to get closer to Poliwrath. If I hadn’t gotten the sun up in time, that water would have been quite a bit more severe.

“Solarbeam!” I shouted as Charizard began his dive. The diving dragon opened his mouth and roared before releasing a bright white beam. Poliwrath was caught off guard by the sudden attack and he was driven into the ropes. Charizard roared triumphantly as he pulled up from his dive and got high into the air once more. Based on the success of the first diving Solarbeam attack, I figured that it would work again. “Dive and Solarbeam again!” I shouted and once again Charizard dove, roared and released a powerful white beam of energy.

However, Poliwrath was ready for the attack this time. It dodged the beam and then managed to leap high enough into the air to strike Charizard with a fist glowing with electric energy. Charizard didn’t have the ability to pull up this time and he crashed into the canvas hard. As electric shocks ravaged his body, he stood up and glared at Poliwrath angrily. “Shake it off!” I urged Charizard. “Charge and hit him with Outrage!” I shouted and Charizard took off and shot like a bullet towards Poliwrath. When he got into range, I noticed something that was going to be serious trouble. Poliwrath had prepared a Stone Edge attack when I wasn’t looking. And with the anger in his eyes, I knew that Drago wouldn’t pull out of the Outrage attack. Just when Charizard got up close to Poliwrath, the water type flung a barrage of sharp rocks at Drago, causing numerous slashes on his body.

Drago roared angrily and began to attack Poliwrath with unbridled fury. A swipe of his tail sent Poliwrath careening into the ropes. A vicious headbutt had Poliwrath seeing stars. And then the finisher; Charizard used both of his claws to slash wildly at Poliwrath. And then abruptly, the light faded from Charizard’s eyes. He had released his anger in one spree of attacks. The dragon stumbled back and then, finally succumbing to the two deadly super-effective attacks it had taken at point-blank range, fell to his back.

“This round goes -” The official started, and then he looked at Poliwrath. The water / fighting type had finally managed to free himself from the ropes. However, he was looking worse for the wear. He managed to stumble forward a couple of steps and I could clearly see the deep, bloody scratches on Poliwrath’s face. And then, the tadpole Pokémon fell forward onto its face. “Both Pokémon are unable to battle.” The official corrected himself. This means that the champion is down to three Pokémon and the challenger has four remaining.” A draw. While it was a shame to lose one of my best in the first round, a draw against a type-disadvantage was not a poor result. More importantly, I still held the lead as it was time for the second round with the champ.

I took a deep breath and stepped into the ring myself; it was time to attempt to survive another minute with Jet trying to take my head off with his fists. My mouth was still bleeding from the first minute and there was a small part of me that doubted whether I’d be able to last through the next one.

“Round two between the champion Jet Mayweather and the challenger James Dalton… begin!” The official shouted before ringing the bell that signaled the start of the fight. Jet quickly approached, appearing ready to go on the offensive once more. In the back of my mind, I was counting off the seconds until the bell would ring again and I would have escaped another round.

*Fifty-five… fifty four…* I counted off as Jet reached me and snapped off a one-two jab combination at my face; leading with his left fist and backing it up with the right. I quickly brought my hands up and managed to deflect both of the blows, preventing them from messing up the face that I was so proud of. I quickly countered with a right hook, but missed because Jet ducked back to avoid the blow.

*Forty-eight… forty-seven…* Jet came at me again, this time leaping in the air just a couple of inches and firing off a snap kick at my sternum. This time, I wasn’t able to defend myself. His heel slammed into my chest bone and I was sent back into the ropes.

*Forty-three… forty-two…* Pinned up against the ropes, I put both my hands in front of my face because that was the one thing I wanted to protect most. Unfortunately for me, Jet was perfectly happy to punish my body, he taking the openings I gave him. Striking quickly and powerfully, he rained punch after punch on both sides of my rib cage. I felt multiple cracks and I could just tell every single one of my ribs was going to shatter if I didn’t do something.

*Twenty-nine… twenty-eight…* I was gasping for air at this point as blood streamed out of my mouth from the blows to the torso I had taken. I began flailing wildly with both fists, desperate to fight my way off the ropes. I was throwing punches with both fists blindly and eventually I felt one hit home. Jet staggered back a bit and I took this chance to get around him, finally escaping the trap. My lack of training was proving to be my saving grace; because I didn’t fight like one was supposed to, my wild punches were unpredictable to someone like Jet who fought at the highest levels of the sport. I had just enough innate athletic ability to put enough behind these flailing attempts to make them a threat that had to be acknowledged.

*Seventeen… sixteen…* The body blows that I had absorbed had slowed me down. I could barely raise my hands, let alone attempt to avoid Jet’s powerful punches. He was throwing three and four punch combinations that I simply could not keep up with so I didn’t even bother trying. All I tried to do was protect my face, which shockingly hadn’t taken any serious damage thus far. And then out of nowhere, one last shot to my ribs took all the air out of my lungs and I fell to my knees.

“One! Two!” I heard the official shouting by my side. “Three! Four!” I didn’t realize what he was shouting about, and then I realized; he was counting me out. “Five! Six!” I gasped, attempting to fill my battered lungs with air so I could get up off the canvas. “Seven! Eight!” I began to rise up off of the ground and I looked at Jet, who had turned away from me. It was as if he didn’t expect me to get up. Defiantly, I spit a mouthful of blood out on the mat and rose shakily to my feet. “Are you okay to continue?” The official asked me and I nodded. There was no way in hell I was letting him stop this fight. Not now. I had taken a pounding and I was going to make it all worth it by winning the damn thing. Just as he was about to resume the match, the sound of the bell resonated throughout the room. I continued to gasp for air as I limped back to my corner. I couldn’t even stand without using the ropes to support my weight.

“Challenger, please select your next Pokémon.” The official brought me back to the present with a gentle reminder. Seeing how bad shape I was in, I knew that I needed to end this battle as quickly as possible in order to have any chance of winning. While I had to survive one more round in the ring, I couldn’t have the last few battles drag out after that. My mouth was filling with blood and I knew that I was going to pass out from either blood loss or the concussion. I was definitely on the clock.
“Dominic. You’re up.” I said weakly, still clearly shaken from the beating I had taken moments earlier. I flipped a worn Poké ball onto the battle field which after a flash of red light revealed my Dragonite. I wiped the blood off of my mouth with my sweater as I watched Jet reveal his next selection; Hitmontop. The fact that I had ruined an incredibly expensive piece of clothing by using it as a rag for my bloody mouth didn’t even cross my mind as I leaned against the ropes and sent Dragonite up into the sky.

“Alright Dominic, let’s bring it down! Blizzbolt!” I shouted confidently across the ring at the Hitmontop, which was eyeing Dominic carefully. Blizzbolt was a deadly combo that Dominic and I had invented while training in the howling winds of the Snowpoint mountains. To start the move, Dominic opened his mouth and flapped his powerful wings furiously sending a furious storm of snow and howling winds at Hitmontop. I began to shiver from the temperature in the room dropping nearly fifty-five degrees in a matter of moments; from a balmy 75 to below freezing. I watched with a smile as Hitmontop attempted to knock Dominic out of the sky with a Stone Edge attack. Not only did the stones get knocked down by the wind, they were frozen solid by the blizzard. “Now finish it!” I shouted. The one negative aspect of Blizzbolt was that Dragonite, being dragon and flying type, really, really hated the cold. So I had to act fast or his wings would freeze in place and he would plummet to the canvas. But with such terrifying power behind the attack, Dragonite never seemed to freeze before his opponents fell before the might of the dragon.

Once I told Dragonite to finish his attack, Jet looked very concerned. He knew that Hitmontop was powerless in a ranged fight. He also knew that there was no way I was going to bring Dragonite anywhere close to the ground. With a great roar, Dragonite sent a trio of lightning bolts down into the storm towards Hitmontop. The heat from the electricity melted the snow in mid air, effectively turning the blizzard into electric rain, which fell down on Hitmontop in one deadly burst. Visible shockwaves could be seen coursing over the fighting type’s body and it only took a matter of moments before it fell to the canvas face first. Once Dragonite saw his foe fall, he let off a victory roar before landing a few feet in front of me.

“Excellent Dominic. Return.” I told Dragonite happily before returning him to his ball. Once Dragonite was stored away, the Blizzard stopped and the room gradually began to warm up again.

“Hitmontop is unable to battle. The champion is down to two Pokémon while the challenger has four remaining.” Four on two with one Pokémon from each of us still to fight in the first round… my odds were looking good.

*As long as I can stay standing when I have to fight.* I was forced to remind myself, a reminder that came from the fact that I was still dripping blood from my mouth. Once again, I used my designer sweater as a rag to clean the blood off. Why I didn’t just use my undershirt and save the sweater… well now that I think about it… Shit. I couldn’t help but laugh. I looked up and saw a look of confusion on Jet’s face. I stopped laughing after a moment and didn’t bother explaining. He was holding a Poké ball in his hand and he looked a bit impatient. “Right. Sorry.” I nodded before sending the sixth and final Pokémon in my party out to fight. Jet would find it absurd that I was chuckling about a sweater and an undershirt in the middle of a championship battle as blood streamed down my lips and chin and onto the mat.

“This round will be between the champion’s Machamp and the challenger’s Porygon-Z.” The official announced. “Begin!”

“Hector, Nasty Plot!” I shouted as soon as round began. There was enough time for the normal type to take a moment to boost its special attack to sky high levels. After all, Machamp had to cross the ring in order to strike. “What?!?” I shouted as I surveyed the scene. Hector was glowing a bright silver, showing that his attack levels were still rising. But Machamp had somehow crossed the distance between himself and Hector in a matter of moments. The angry fighting type’s four burly fists were all glowing an ominous burgundy color as he leaped at Hector. “Hector! Abort and Evade!” I shouted in a panicked manner, but it was too late. Hector attempted to hover above the Machamp but the powerful and flexible four-armed brute simply hopped up and used two of his fists to slam Hector downwards. I cringed as Hector slammed face first into the canvas.

“Get up Hector!” I urged before spitting out another mouthful of blood. “Quick!” But Hector, the great warrior, was not destined to win on this day. As soon as the normal type managed to hover shakily back into the air, Machamp was on him. Four fists slammed into Hector in rapid succession, pinning the computer virus against the ropes. Random snippets of code flew out of Hector’ mouth, ominous red and black digits of some language that couldn’t possibly be of human origin.

And then, mercifully, it was over. Hector had fallen. I had a forlorn look on my face as I returned my fallen partner to his ball. Time seemed to speed up as I was forced to spend another minute in the ring with Jet.


One minute, sixty seconds. Most of the time, this was a period that would pass quickly. But I knew being trapped in the ring with Jet would make this possibly the worst minute of my life. The bell rang and Jet went at me like a ferocious beast. I knew that at this point he knew that if he didn’t knock me out he was going to lose his belt. And while he considered me a friend, he was going to make me earn it.

*Fifty eight… fifty seven…* A shot to the ribs, yet another rib broken. This made four. My body wasn’t used to taking this kind of punishment. There were rules on the football field and on the basketball court, rules that prevented such repeated blows. I had to drop my guard to protect my ribs before my entire rib cage shattered.

*Fifty two… fifty one…* With my guard dropped to my ribs, Jet went to work on my face. My pride and joy, the face of an idol that made the girls swoon… there wouldn’t be any fangirls screaming for a month now, not with the shots to the face I was taking.

*Forty five… forty four…* The only way to describe Jet’s fighting style at this point would be surgical precision. If I tried to guard my face, he went to work on my ribs. If I tried to guard my ribs, he would drive punches and elbows into my face. The blood was flowing freely now and I was powerless to stop it, to stop him. I couldn’t muster the energy or the will to counter-attack like I had in the previous rounds, I had simply taken too much punishment to do anything but stand there and take more.

*Thirty five… thirty four…* There comes a point where the human body simply can’t take any more punishment and it shuts down. I reached this point with thirty seconds left in the round. A vicious right back fist followed by a left elbow to the jaw sent me down to my knees and there was no getting up.

“Stay down James.” Jet’s voice sounded foggy. I realized after the fact that this was due that the repeated head shots had turned a minor concussion into a serious injury… it was to the point that I could barely remember what had brought me here.

“Four, five, six…” I hadn’t heard the count until now. I didn’t have much time to get to my feet if I was going to have a shot at this thing. But I wasn’t staying down, I wasn’t giving up now.

“Seven… eight…” The first bit of movement. The only reason I was able to get up was that Jet had pinned me to the ropes for the entire round and thus I had them at my disposal. My legs still weren’t working but I had the upper body strength to pull myself up with just my right arm.

“Nine…” I let go of the rope and staggered to my feet, barely making it up off the mat. I looked the referee square in the eyes.

“Don’t you dare stop this fight.” I growled before staring Jet down. “You’re going to have to earn this the hard way.” I muttered before spitting out a mouthful of blood. Jet’s grin told me that my defiance had earned the respect of the fighter. Until now he had seen me a rich pretty boy but by getting up from the savage punishment he had inflicted during that third round, I was so much more than that.

*Twelve… eleven…* Ten seconds until I made it through, ten seconds separated me from eternal glory. Not only would I have gone three rounds with one of the deadliest fighters on the planet, I was on the urge of beating him straight up in a battle as well. But ten seconds still remained as the left hook to the jaw cruelly reminded me.

*Seven… six…* Two jabs and a right hook to the ribs. A left handed uppercut to the jaw followed by Jet’s trademark finisher, a vicious spinning kick with his right foot that caught me just under the chin. The impact would have been sickening to watch, but I had taken so many blows by this point that I didn’t even feel the pain. I barely felt the impact as I slammed into the ropes with incredible force, almost enough force to shatter my spine. My torso was practically jelly and as I would find out later it was a miracle that Jet’s final kick hadn’t broken my back. But I was still standing, and nothing was going to prevent me from winning that belt now.

“Three… two…” Jet just looked at me and grinned, a gracious smile in the face of defeat. He knew that he had been beaten. Well more appropriately I had been beaten into a bloody pulp, but I hadn’t fallen.


“Ding!” I had managed to make it through the last sparring session I would be forced to endure. But I certainly didn’t look like I had made it out very well. My entire torso was covered in bruises and there was a vicious looking cut on the right side of my chest. Blood was dripping out of my mouth now like I had left the faucet in my bathroom running. And even if I closed my mouth, it took only seconds for it to fill up with the crimson liquid.

So I said ‘fuck it’ and let the blood drip out of my mouth freely. It wasn’t like anyone besides Jet and the match official could see it anyways. And I had a one mon lead, so if I managed to hold on and win the entire thing… well the broken ribs would be a small price to pay for eternal glory. The only thing that was going to stop me now was if I passed out before the end.

“Challenger, would you please send out your first selection for the second part of the battle?” I shook my head rapidly to get myself back into the battle. The shots to the head that I had taken were causing my mental faculties to drift away from the battle in front of me rather quickly. Being an athlete who had left it all one the field before, I knew that this was by far the worst concussion I had suffered. After the fact I would read up on the fact that each concussion someone suffered built on the previous ones and I would be lucky to escape this ring without brain damage.

“Right. Sorry.” I apologized meekly before groping at my belt randomly. The blood dripping into my eyes from the cut on my forehead made it hard for me to see where I was grabbing. A moment later, I felt the familiar feeling of one of the spheres on my belt. I tossed it into the ring, revealing Creed the Hitmonchan. Standing on the other side of the ring was the Infernape that had earlier abused my Glaceon so thoroughly that I was going to have to take her straight to the nearest Pokémon center when the battle was over.


“This round will be between the champion’s Infernape and the challenger’s Hitmonchan. Begin!” The official shouted before ringing the bell, signaling that the fight was back on. Infernape started the fight with a Flamethrower attack that I was slow to respond to. The white-hot flames streaked towards Hitmonchan as I attempted to come up with a counter. But nothing was coming to me. All I could think about was how much pain I was in at the moment. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Duck.” I said softly and Creed dropped to one knee just in time. The flames passed mere inches over his head and harmlessly out of the ring. Well, at least I thought they were harmless. Because I hadn’t seen Jet’s follow up.

He had used my lack of field awareness to get his Infernape in a close attack position. And I realized it too late. “Creed! Up and - ” My desperate instructions were cut off when I saw Creed absorb a vicious uppercut to the jaw, sending my punching Pokémon careening into the ropes. However, at this point, I had started to wake up. “Spring off the ropes. Mega Punch!” I shouted quickly and Hitmonchan did as I instructed. He threw his body hard into the ropes and rocketed towards the surprised simian Pokémon. Hitmonchan threw three quick punches with his powerful fists, driving a right hook into Infernape’s stomach followed by two left jabs to the monkey’s jaw.

Infernape was driven back a few steps, allowing Hitmonchan space to return to the center of the ring. “Great work Creed. Go in for the kill! Close Combat!” My confidence had completely returned with Hitmonchan’s one successful attack. However, I was to pay for my hubris. Because Jet was ready for Creed’s blind charge. Creed dashed towards Infernape, both fists flailing powerfully. But just when Creed was about to connect with a devastating right haymaker to Infernape’s jaw, the flaming monkey slid to the floor and kicked Hitmonchan’s legs out from under him.

Creed crashed to the mat and was sprawled out on the canvas, clearly stunned by the turn of events. Infernape didn’t give Creed a chance to turn things around. I looked away as I heard the monkey’s wild, enraged cries. It was only a matter of moments before I heard the confirmation from the match official that Creed was defeated and that the match had become a draw once more.

“Good job Creed.” I whispered quietly as I returned the fallen fighter to his ball. Unlike last time, I had no indecision on who to send out next. And it was only moments before I had thrown another ball onto the mat, revealing Dominic the Dragonite’s return to the fray.


“Dom! Up to the skies!” I shouted as soon as I heard the bell that signaled the start of the round. I wiped the blood off of my chin, which of course was a losing battle due to the fact that it was equivalent to using a piece of gum to stop the Mississippi River from flowing past New Orleans. “Blizzbolt once again!” I was prepared for the precipitous drop in temperature this time, so I didn’t begin shivering when the room began to freeze. However, Jet was also prepared for my tactic. I cringed as he used an Overheat attack, the rapidly expanding dome of magma sending the temperature of the room skyrocketing once more. I went from being ice cold to sweating buckets in the time it took me to brush my bloody hair out of my eyes. And just to make things worse, the attack had both prevented Blizzbolt from being a viable tactic and it had also struck Dominic. The powerful fire type attack made the dragon waver for a few moments, and his flight pattern began to become just a bit erratic.

“Dominic! Settle!” I shouted and the legendary dragon above took my words to heart. Well at least I think he did. Because he calmed down and returned to gracefully circling the ring. “Good, now rain down on that Infernape’s parade! Draco Meteor!” I shouted, clearly sick of seeing that monkey ruin my carefully laid out plans. Dominic roared loudly before holding out his wings and sending blue and white flaming meteors down from the sky, coating the entire ring. In fact, both Jet and myself were forced to dive out of the ring in order to avoid being struck by the attack. The rattling of my broken ribs, which caused me to cough up a large amount of blood, was worth the end result. Infernape simply had nowhere to escape to, and he had been struck by one or more of the meteors. And it was clear that the monkey wasn’t getting up; the exhaustion from taking on half my team over the course of the battle had finally taken its toll.

And I had just reached the unthinkable. The champion was down to one solitary Pokémon and I still had my starter and my dragon available to me. Everything I had worked for since I blew out my knee on that football field at the age of nineteen was about to be worth it. I was minutes away from becoming the Cielo Islands champion as long as I stayed conscious.

“Well James, I have to admit… this isn’t a situation that I’ve found myself in before.” Jet said to me as he sent out his Machamp. I looked into his eyes and I could see that he was not panicking, he was not worried. Even down to his final Pokémon, he was still completely convinced that he was going to come out on top. But I was completely convinced that I was going to win as well, so one of us was going to be proven wrong. “The closet that any of my other challengers have gotten is getting me down to my final three mons.” Jet told me.

I wasn’t sure if he was being honest or not, so I just nodded, too tired to even attempt to formulate a response.

“Alright Dominic! Get down there and hit an Outrage attack!” I shouted confidently. “Let’s take this straight to the bank!” I added with a smile and Dom dropped out of the sky, rocketing towards Machamp with a blue aura surrounding his entire body. I could hear Dominic roar as he plummeted towards his foe. But something struck me as odd. Machamp wasn’t even attempting to dodge. And neither Jet nor his Pokémon were panicking at all. In fact, the pair both looked coolly confident as usual. When Dom was mere feet from striking Machamp with a devastating blow, I could see why. Machamp’s four fists were all glowing ice blue.

“PULL UP!” I shouted even though I knew that Dom was far past the metaphorical point of no return. Dominic and Machamp slammed into each other and the collision caused a flash of blinding blue light. My eyes felt they were on fire because a side effect of a concussion is sensitivity to bright light and I was blinded for almost a full minute. When I was able to see again, I was treated to the sight of my Dragonite out for the count. And I felt sick to my stomach because Machamp was still standing.

It was down to Arcanine versus Machamp. The winner would be the champion.

“Rocky… you’ve been with me since the start. I know you can do this.” I told the canine confidently before sending him out into the ring. Now, looking back on this moment, I should have realized that this battle wasn’t actually going to be dramatic at all. But then again, I was minutes from passing out due to blood loss and the Grade III concussion that I had suffered due the blows that Jet had been showering on my head all night. So you couldn’t blame me for not really seeing the situation clearly.
The truth was that Dominic’s Outrage attack had thrown Machamp into the ropes with such force that the body of the burly fighting type had shattered one of the turnbuckles holding the ropes themselves in the air. This blow had sent Machamp to the brink, and Jet’s last hope was barely standing.

“Flare Blitz!” I shouted immediately and Rocky began his charge at Machamp. The fighting type didn’t move from the spot he was standing, but instead began winding up powerful punches with all four of his massive fists. It was all or nothing on this one attack and Jet and I both knew it. Rocky’s entire body was coated with red-hot flame as he slammed into Machamp with his right shoulder. Rocky’s awe-inspiring speed and power sent him through Machamp’s four fists of fury and the rare fire type just kept going. The force of the Flare Blitz catapulted Machamp out of the ring and sent him flying into the stone wall behind the battle. The rock wall chipped from the force of the impact and the bloody and battered Machamp fell to the floor defeated.

I was the champion. I had done the impossible. I didn’t know what to do, so I threw my bloody gloves into the air and ran out onto the mat and threw my arms around Rocky’s neck. “We did it! We did it! We did it!” I was shouting deliriously because my brain had shut off completely at this point. This was also the last thing I remembered before I passed out.

What I didn’t know was that the only thing I managed to do that day was set in motion the events that would ruin my life.




And so it begins. I'm going to try and post one chapter a week, and I'm going to stick to that this time (I have no excuse for the next two months since I have eight chapters already written from the original work, I just have to revise and re-write so I have time to write the new unwritten content).
@Flaze; I told you I was actually doing this :p
 
Ok. So that's one hell of a long prologue. I made it though about two thirds before I reckoned it was about time to type up a few thoughts

Technical Accuracy/Style
Technically I think I only spotted one typo, so nothing to complain about there. Stylistically you've got the business of describing battles down. There some good description when it comes down to describing the attacks, which does wonders for moving the battle along. My main stylistic gripe with this is the sheer length. That's 10,000 words of pure battle, and honestly, it's exhausting. Without an easy way to bookmark, say, the halfway point it's not so easy to come back to it later either. The actual prose itself isn't bad, so it's not bad writing that's exhausting so much as the quantity

Story
About a third of the way through I was beginning to wonder why the writing felt flat. I realise now that the problem is that we have an epic battle here, but I didn't care who won. I don't have anything invested in either of the characters. The fight is for the championship, but that in itself isn't that compelling.

I have my doubts about the format of the fight. Having the trainers fight as well, ok, I can be on board with that theme. But here's my problems. First is that it doesn't seem fair for Jet to be able to set the rules for the championship battle. He's essentially biasing it in favour of himself - no wonder he's been undefeated. The other is that James is insane. He's risking fighting to the death over a title. And it's not a small risk either - concussions, smashed ribs, battered tissue ... I don't see the point in the referee being there if he's not going to step in and prevent the challenger from fighting beyond sane limits.

Characters
It's hard to say much about the characters here. We don't really find out anything about them. I have my doubts, if I'm honest, that Jet or James would have the time to keep themselves at the peak of physical fitness and train pokémon to the peak of the sport as well. I'd be more prepared to let that go and suspend my disbelief - Fighting-type specialist practicing martial arts is a fairly common Pokémon trope, to be fair - if I didn't also have my doubts about the format of the match.

Final Thoughts
I think what this boils down to is that narratively it's not a great place to start the story. That's a lot of words and a lot of battle for a character who has literally just been introduced to us. If the plot really must start with the championship match, then I would suggest starting in medias res and only showing the end of the match rather than all of it
 
Ok. So that's one hell of a long prologue. I made it though about two thirds before I reckoned it was about time to type up a few thoughts

Technical Accuracy/Style
Technically I think I only spotted one typo, so nothing to complain about there. Stylistically you've got the business of describing battles down. There some good description when it comes down to describing the attacks, which does wonders for moving the battle along. My main stylistic gripe with this is the sheer length. That's 10,000 words of pure battle, and honestly, it's exhausting. Without an easy way to bookmark, say, the halfway point it's not so easy to come back to it later either. The actual prose itself isn't bad, so it's not bad writing that's exhausting so much as the quantity

Story
About a third of the way through I was beginning to wonder why the writing felt flat. I realise now that the problem is that we have an epic battle here, but I didn't care who won. I don't have anything invested in either of the characters. The fight is for the championship, but that in itself isn't that compelling.

I have my doubts about the format of the fight. Having the trainers fight as well, ok, I can be on board with that theme. But here's my problems. First is that it doesn't seem fair for Jet to be able to set the rules for the championship battle. He's essentially biasing it in favour of himself - no wonder he's been undefeated. The other is that James is insane. He's risking fighting to the death over a title. And it's not a small risk either - concussions, smashed ribs, battered tissue ... I don't see the point in the referee being there if he's not going to step in and prevent the challenger from fighting beyond sane limits.

Characters
It's hard to say much about the characters here. We don't really find out anything about them. I have my doubts, if I'm honest, that Jet or James would have the time to keep themselves at the peak of physical fitness and train pokémon to the peak of the sport as well. I'd be more prepared to let that go and suspend my disbelief - Fighting-type specialist practicing martial arts is a fairly common Pokémon trope, to be fair - if I didn't also have my doubts about the format of the match.

Final Thoughts
I think what this boils down to is that narratively it's not a great place to start the story. That's a lot of words and a lot of battle for a character who has literally just been introduced to us. If the plot really must start with the championship match, then I would suggest starting in medias res and only showing the end of the match rather than all of it

Thanks for the review and it is a hell of a long prologue. Also yes, James is insane. That's really the easiest way to put it. As for the narrative, I think that's a very interesting point about perhaps only showing the end of the match. I considered it the first time I wrote this (and for the re-write as well), but I had wanted to show just how brutal this particular match was in order to set up the rest of the story.

As for not having an investment in the characters... that is also a fair point, and something to definitely be considered. And yes, Jet's rules are incredibly unfair (this was intentional) and James had to be far better with his mons in order to stand a chance (and also be insane / tough / naturally athletic enough to survive such a beating).

And for the length, this is by far the longest battle (and longest chapter), which I suppose could do with some parsing down (I had written a shorter version last time and people asked me where the rest of the battle was XD).


Thanks for the review and all the great points! It always helps as a writer to get some good constructive critique.
 
This is a really good example of what can be done with the Pokémon battle format and you have great potential to be able to carry a battle for so long, whilst keeping the reader's attention. Presenting us with the Champion's battle at the very beginning, as opposed to the regularity of it being the climatic finale of a story, is a very clever, narrative hook, but as Beth Pavel said, it may be better to start in media res as the sheer length of the piece can be abrasive.

Also, it's hard to relate, to even be sympathetic, to James because he's only just been introduced to us. He has a lot to say, and I'm interested in what he has to say, but it's all come a little to quickly.

One point on style and layout, I felt you may have used the triple-stop (...) too much. Using a hyphen or parenthesis may lend a better flow to the story, that being said the dot-dot-dots do create a the halting, uncertain mood felt in the opening lines.

Le meas,
Airt
 
Took a bit longer than I wanted to get the next bit out, sorry about that all. Before I get into it, a big thanks to @Flaze; for being the beta for this. And now, no more delay, let's get into Chapter One.



Chapter One: Cracks in Mr. Perfect

People always ask me why I wear sunglasses no matter the time of day, and I never give them a straight answer. Even though I’ve evaded the question close to five hundred times over the past three years, interviewers still ask, hoping they’ll be the one to get an honest answer. Eventually they will realize that I’m never going to be upfront about it, but for now all I can do is continue to use sarcasm as a defense mechanism.

What they don’t understand is that the sunglasses are just another line of defense for me to hide who I really am. If I didn’t wear them, people would be able to see how bloodshot my eyes were on a daily basis. As for why my eyes are bloodshot… well, don’t worry about it.

The less painful reason is that everywhere I go, cameras are flashing, following my every move. If I didn’t wear my blackout shades, my eyesight would be gone before I hit thirty. But I digress. I should take you through a day in the life of James Dalton, Cielo Islands champion, before I get any further into the story. You can see for yourself what it’s really like to be me, and trust me; you won’t like what you see.



BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP! BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPP!

I groaned at the offending tones that my alarm clock was assaulting my ears with. Wanting another few minutes of sleep, I attempted to lean over to hit the snooze button on the top of the device. But, due to the fact that I was still rather intoxicated from the night before, I missed the clock with my swat. Normally, this would have been something that I could have just laughed off, but this time was different. My momentum caused me to lose my balance and slide off of the bed.

Of course, I had to have hardwood floors in my apartment, so hitting the ground from the height of my bed wasn’t a forgiving way to start the morning. In fact, it was downright painful, causing me to scream. “FUCK!” The expletive escaped involuntarily, shouting it at the top of my lungs was cathartic and helped me ignore the sharp pain in my back for a moment. At this point, I was glad that I hadn’t brought a girl home the night before. It would have been rather mortifying to wake her up due to the fact that I was laying on my floor, clearly in pain and screaming bloody murder. I hissed as I stood up and rubbed my back where I had hit the stained wood floor.

Gently rubbing the back of my head as I staggered over to my nightstand, the sharp noises still emanating from the alarm clock doing nothing but amplifying my crippling headache, I was angry now; this was not the way to start my day. “Piece of shit.” I muttered irritably as I picked up the device. “Couldn’t let me sleep for ten more minutes.” I added before throwing it as hard as I could at the wall. The clock didn’t stand a chance and it shattered on impact, sending shards of black glass flying everywhere and reminding me of dark snowfall. Even after all my injuries I still had a rocket for an arm, a fact that had been the cause of much property damage over the years.

“Should have checked the time before you did that, you dumbass.” I admonished myself as I looked down at the destroyed clock and the small chips of drywall that had fallen to the floor as well. “Can’t you do anything right?” I asked myself as I stumbled towards the bathroom. I was two steps away from the doorway when I kicked a glass bottle with my left foot, sending shocks of pain through that extremity. “Son of a bitch!” I roared as I bent down and picked up the empty bottle of Patron Platinum.

“Fucking shit can’t even get me good and drunk anymore… why do I keep blowing $200 a bottle for this useless swill?” I asked myself before throwing the bottle against the wall. Once again, I had destroyed something that would have to be cleaned up later in the day. After all, I couldn’t even walk through the back half of my bedroom now because the floor was covered in black and hazy white shards of glass. It was almost as if the wood floor was underwater: there wasn’t any floor left showing under the multitude of black, clear and green glass shards, as well as the drywall from both impacts.

Breaking myself out of these thoughts, I willed myself into the bathroom, where I put my hands against the counter to support myself. I was starting to get the spins from the abuse that I had put my body through the night before, and I was going to need the relief of a few pills and a warm shower before I did anything else.

Throwing open the medicine cabinet that doubled as a mirror, I groped around the shelves for a familiar white bottle. I felt the shaped plastic in my fingers and I grinned in triumph as I pried open the cap. I couldn’t help but glance at the instructions, which told me to take a maximum of two pills every twelve hours. “Two? Yeah right.” I chuckled before pouring ten of the small white tablets into my left hand. In my right hand, I held an empty bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue that now functioned as a water bottle. Without a second thought to what my regular overdoses on prescription painkillers were doing to my body, I dumped the pills into my mouth and washed them down before my body could protest. I coughed a couple of times, but the pills stayed down. They always did.

I slowly closed the cabinet door and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. These days, it was difficult for me to even look myself in the eyes, but today was different. I was drawn in by my own emerald green eyes, eyes that for the first 22 years of my life were always shining brightly, eyes that were shimmering with the anticipation of each new day. Those eyes were the eyes of a young man that loved life and enjoyed waking up in the mornings. Those eyes were the eyes of a kid who had hopes and dreams and was committed to making sure that they came true. How naïve, foolish and stupid I was.

But those were not the eyes that I was looking at today through the looking glass. The eyes that stared back at me were bloodshot and devoid of all hope. The eyes I saw today were the eyes of a man who didn’t know what to do or where to go. The light was gone, replaced by a dull, glazed over emerald. The gemstones that were my eyes had been kicked around and stepped on far too many times, and now they were scratched up and ruined. Not only were my eyes bloodshot and dimmed, there were massive black bags under both of them, black bags that came from a life of excess and not nearly enough sleep. “Today is going to be another sunglasses day.” I chuckled sarcastically to myself as walked over to the shower and turned on the hot water to the hottest it could go. I needed scalding hot showers to wake me up in the mornings, and I also needed them to feel like I was attempting to clean myself up just a little bit.


Fifteen minutes later, I stepped out of the shower with a towel around my waist and I felt like a brand new man. The clouds of steam filling the bathroom made it impossible to see the ugly scar on my left knee from the operation that had ended my football career. It also made it impossible to see how strung out I looked, seeing as how the steam had clouded up the mirror. It allowed me to escape myself. I strolled out into the bedroom, where my iPhone was ringing on the nightstand.

“James.” I said after I picked up the sleek black device. “What’s up?” I hadn’t looked at the identity of the caller, but I could take a guess as to who it was.

“James, it’s Mark.” Mark Foster was my agent and publicist. He was your typical Hollywood personality; you’d never see him without a fancy suit and a pair of $1500 sunglasses. But as annoying as he could be, he knew the business and he had helped me make a fortune. So I kept him around, even if he acted like a class A prick most of the time. That and the fact that we both knew that he’d sell me out for five dollars and a coupon for a free Tauros burger.

“Mark!” I tried my best to sound excited, but this was a charade that neither of us bought. We danced around the fact that I hated him most the time and he thought I was a headcase and a disaster because we both made money from our relationship.

“James. I’m waiting for you outside. You have that photo shoot with Cynthia in half an hour. Hurry your ass up, will you?” Mark hissed at me. “I don’t want to have to explain to them why you’re late again.”

“Come on Mark, quit busting my balls.” I sounded exasperated as I talked to him. As I was carrying on the conversation I walked over to my closet and quickly picked out an outfit. I needed something that was sleek, but classy. Well-dressed but fashionable. I eventually settled on a custom tailored black suit with a silver tie. Covering my eyes from the world would be a pair of custom designed jet black sunglasses that would make it impossible for anyone to see what my eyes really looked like.

It was at this point I stepped outside onto the massive balcony I had paid through the nose for, the balcony that overlooked the Jubilife City skyline. Acting quickly, I released every single one of my friends from their balls, hurriedly putting out plates of food for each of them. Each of them did the same thing every morning when I let them out, something that provided me great comfort.

Rocky leaped onto his food without a second thought, devouring his plate in the blink of an eye as he always did. He then curled up on my feet and laid down, his warm fur feeling incredibly nice.

Nevicata nibbled at hers, staying curled up in my arms. She craved affection and well… considering my personal life the Glaceon was the closest thing I had to healthy female companionship.

Creed didn’t eat right away, taking a few minutes to shadowbox against an invisible opponent. I made a mental note to consider getting him a sparring partner. Perhaps a certain Lucario would be up for the task.

Drago and Dominic took to the skies. Whenever I was in a new place, people were often shocked to see a Dragonite
and a Charizard stretching their wings and flying causally off a rooftop like this one. But people quickly got used to it and the kids that lived in the apartments below would often stick their heads out the windows and watch the two majestic dragons in flight.

Being a sentient computer program, Hector didn’t need food, Instead, he preferred to live in my phone, doing Arceus knows what to my files and emails. But it made him happy, so I let it go.

I had come to the realization some time ago that these mornings spent outside on the patio with my team and a warm cup of coffee were by far the best part of my day. Quiet, peaceful and I hadn’t given the real world a chance to run the serenity of these moments. Even a day like today which had started out so horribly… these few blissful moments made it all okay.

Which is why I was particularly annoyed when my phone rang a second time. “Damnit Mark!” I screamed into the cell. “Two bloody minutes!” I hung up without giving him a chance to respond. Frowning, I apologized to my friends as I returned each of them to their ball. Nevicata was last, I scratching her ears reassuringly before she vanished in the usual flash of red.

One hundred and twenty seven seconds later, I was fully dressed and walking up to Mark’s black Bentley, he knowing that this was my preferred way to get anywhere. I threw open the back passenger side door and dropped into a seat beside my agent.

“Arceus James… you look awful.” Mark sighed as he looked at me. It took me a moment to realize why he was saying this and when I understood, I felt into the front pocket of my suit jacket and realized that I had left my sunglasses in the pocket instead of putting them on.

“I’m fine. Really.” I brushed his unvoiced concerns off with a wave of my hand and quickly put the glasses on. “See. Fine.” I made another motion of my hand; this one to the driver. He took off immediately.

“James…” Mark started to talk, but I cut him off again.

“Mark. I’m fine.” I hissed. I wasn’t going to talk about myself with him for two reasons. One, I didn’t have a problem. I am in complete control of who I am. And two, if there was someone whose concerns held any merit with me, it certainly wasn’t my agent. Because I know fully well that he only cares about if I can pay him his ten percent every month.

“Okay, okay.” Mark held out his hands in a defeated gesture. He wouldn’t bring up the subject of my personal health for the rest of the day. He knew when he couldn’t push me, and this was one of those times. “So do you remember what you will be doing today?” He deftly changed the subject, something I could appreciate and play along with.

“Say hi to Cynthia. Take a couple of pictures. Make small talk with the execs.” I rattled off without a second thought. “Mark, you’re acting like I’ve never done this before…” I cracked a thin smile at how paranoid he was being. “I’ve done this at least fifty times in the last couple of years, I think I remember how to do a simple meet and greet.” I said just before the car stopped in front of our destination.

The Silph Company’s Sinnoh branch, located in the dead center of Jubilife City. Mark and I stepped out of the car and I looked up at the towering glass building. The entire building was made of shimmering clear glass; it was basically one big window. I was about to comment on how much money that must have cost when I heard a voice calling out to me.

“Jamie! You’re on time for once!” It was the voice of an angel. My angel. I spun around just a bit and looked at her. Cynthia LeBeau, longtime champion of the Sinnoh region and one of my closest friends. She was a stunningly beautiful woman, with long blonde hair and legs that seem to go on for days, not only that, she personified everything a champion should be; composed, professional and absolutely delightful company. “Jamie! You going to come over here and say hello? Or are you just going to stare at me all day?” Cynthia laughed and I couldn’t help but smile. Like my mind was being controlled by some other force, I walked over and pulled her into my arms, wrapping her in a tight embrace. I picked her up off of her feet and swung her around slightly before kissing her on both cheeks lightly. “Jamie, you seem awfully happy to see me.” Cynthia said playfully.

“Well of course I am.” I said with a charming smile. “Aren’t I always happy to see you?” I asked her rhetorically, causing her to laugh just a bit.

“Oh you are not going to pull that trick on me Mr. Casanova.” Cynthia poked my muscular chest with her right index finger. “You should know by now that I know all your tricks.” She added tauntingly before turning away from me and walking inside. I chortled quietly to myself as I followed her inside.

“Miss LeBeau, Mr. Dalton.” Slightly misfit suit jacket, hair that wasn’t well done, watch that didn’t have real ice. The young man who was talking to us was clearly nothing more than an intern for one of the executives. “Could you please follow me?” I caught Cynthia’s eye and shrugged. We both nodded and followed the nervous sounding intern through the white washed hallways of the Silph building without delay. Neither of us was talking. I was exhausted from the previous night and she was trying to figure out what to say to me. This was a dance that the two of us had done more than once in the past.

“Okay you two. The shoot will be in here.” The intern pointed to a pair of ornately carved wooden doors before hurrying off. Apparently, the kid was under orders not to bother us or linger once he had led us to the shooting site.

“Jumpy kid.” I chuckled to myself and I was about to head through the doors when I felt a light slap on my left arm.

“James, be nice.” Cynthia was trying to sound upset with me, but she wasn’t doing a very good job. “The poor young man was just nervous.” She said sagely. “Don’t be so hard on him.” She said before walking through the doors ahead of me. I frowned at how harsh Cynthia had been about one joke. A joke that wasn’t even that harsh or ill-intended. Once in a while, her ‘holier than thou’ attitude annoyed me, but the woman was just so sweet and good-hearted, I couldn’t stay mad at her long. I’d forget all about in two minutes. Even if it was clear that she wasn’t mad at me for what I had called the intern, my mental gymnastics would allow me to believe that this was the case to avoid the more difficult questions this raised.

“Right. Sorry.” I didn’t manage to catch these words before they slipped out of my mouth. What was I saying? I’m James fucking Dalton. I don’t apologize for anything. The world is mine for the taking… I do what I want and everyone else will just have to deal.

“You didn’t mean that, did you?” Cynthia’s eyes were sparkling as we walked through the door together. “The apology I mean?” If I wasn’t hung over, I never would have walked myself into such a trap. She knew it and I knew it.

I took only the briefest time to consider her words. If I told her the truth, that yes, I didn’t mean that apology, I sound like an asshole. But if I tell her no, I did mean it; she’ll think I’m a liar. Neither of those things is something I want. The only solution was to not answer the question. And I could thank Arceus that I had a solution to the dilemma right in front of me. The solution of course being the tall Frenchman who was gliding smoothly over to us, camera already in hand, ready to start the shoot.

“Ah, Mr. Delacroix.” I said with a fond smile as I shook the dark-haired gentleman’s free hand. “It’s nice to see you again.” This wasn’t completely true of course, but hey, I had to keep up appearances. And since I had worked with the photographer before, I could make small talk quite easily. Of course, I wouldn’t have been nearly as happy to see him if I didn’t have my ulterior motives.

“Likewise James.” I had to prevent myself from raising an eyebrow at the fact that he had used my first name. Sure he was about twenty years older than me, but that didn’t mean we were on a first name basis. But I let it slide.

“So, shall we get started?” I asked anxiously. I knew that the sooner we got started, the sooner Cynthia would forget about the question she had posed me moments before.

And luckily enough for me both Mr. Delacroix and Cynthia were just as eager to get started as I had sounded. I don’t need to describe every detail of the photo shoot to you because you’d get bored and go do something else. So I guess I’ll just leave you with a Sparknotes version of the next four hours. Our esteemed French photographer took hundreds of photographs of Cynthia and I in every possible pose and situation. Together. By ourselves. With our signature Pokémon. With our entire Pokémon teams. In carefully staged mock battle poses. In the end, Mr. Delacroix had just over one thousand photographs. I estimated that he would develop around twenty. Cynthia and I would sign said photographs and they’d be given to various bigshots from around the city.

Sure, I’d rather give a signed photo to some ten year old kid, someone who looked up to me and would actually appreciate the gift… but ten year old kids don’t pay the bills, do they? Ten year old boys who have just received their starters can’t help me afford $1000 bottles of scotch and a pile of painkillers big enough to put a Snorlax out of commission for six months.

The only thing that I had gotten out of it (besides the money) was I had asked our esteemed photographer for a personal favor; he had given me a photograph of Cynthia and her Lucario under the table. I didn’t want her finding out about it, but I planned on having it framed and placing it on my nightstand.

It was a spur of the moment decision, something I didn’t put much conscious thought into but deep down I knew exactly what I was doing. Some nights, when I was lying awake at four fifteen in the morning with a drink in my hand, I needed a small reminder that someone in this world still cared whether I lived or died. This picture of Cynthia would be that reminder.



It should be quite obvious that it was a relief to get out of there. I had the feeling that the huge check in my breast pocket wasn't quite worth the events of the day. I had this odd premonition that I had become a metaphorical whore, selling out for a quick buck. Ironic. After all, I’d never needed money in my entire life. I have an eight figure trust fund sitting in a bank half the world away, and yet I give up half my day to the corporate elite. And why? For $100,000 that will be gone before the end of the week. Hell, I’d spent ten times that on a car. Thankfully, I was done. I could head home and forget all about it.

“James Tucker.” Shit. Cynthia never uses my middle name unless she is pissed at me. “Where do you think you’re going?” She asked me as she gestured to my left hand, which was on the door handle of Mark’s Bentley. The smile that was on my face from knowing that I could be alone for a few hours vanished before you could say ‘Abra.’

“Headed back to my place. A quick shower. Probably cook myself dinner.” I answered quickly and honestly. She was one of the few people in my life that I was honest with.

“Without saying goodbye to me?” Cynthia asked and the cold look in her silver grey eyes was gone. While I thought she had just been messing with me, she had disarmed my defenses yet again. I’ve known her for four years and I still never understood how she could do that.

“Of course not.” I took my hand off of the car door and hopped back up onto the sidewalk. “How could I forget to do that?” I asked her rhetorically as I strode back over to her, a smile slowly coming back to my face. Leaning over slightly, I kissed Cynthia lightly on both cheeks. It was a French custom that we both were fond of. She had family from Kalos and I had spent some memorable time there in college. “I’ll see you later Cynthia.” I said softly, my whisper betraying how fondly I would look forward to our next meeting.

I started to walk away from Cynthia when I felt her hand gently grasp my wrist. “The question I asked you before the photo shoot. The one about if you meant your apology. You never did give me an answer.” She whispered into my ear. She wasn’t mad. She wasn’t glad. Simply asking a question. And it was very, very clear this had nothing to do with the remarks before the photo shoot.

“Well…” I started to say something, anything to attempt to worm my way out of this situation, part of me still admonishing myself for showing any sort of emotion as I had tried to leave moments earlier.

“James, you don’t need to answer to me.” I should have known she would say something like that. “The only person you need to answer to is yourself. And James… please… for me… give yourself that answer…” Hearing this broke my heart. At least what little was left. But what really tore at me were the tears streaming down her cheeks. I needed to say something, anything. I needed to tell her that I was alright, that the rumors were nothing but... I opened my mouth but nothing would come out. I tried again. Still nothing. My desperation to ease her pain, the pain of the one person that meant more to me than anyone else alive, made it so I couldn’t speak. And before I could try a third time, she had vanished. Damn Lucario.

In my entire life, I had been left speechless exactly twice. As for the first, well that’s a story for when I get to know you a little better.
 
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Well this chapter was a lot better paced, for a start

Technical Accuracy/Style
Nothing wrong with your accuracy. I prefer some sort of breaker line as opposed to just line breaks between scenes, but your narrative saves it from confusion so far. It;s still worth making sure that you have a consistent number of line breaks between scenes. Stylistically, I think it's quite a lean chapter. It looks like you've cut any extraneous description - given that you're talking about a millionaire, I think that's appropriate

Story
The day in the life after the prologue works fine, mostly because it also contains an immediately plot significant event. I think it would work better still with a trimmed down prologue, but you know my thoughts on that anyway. I noticed you cleverly avoided saying just when this takes place in relation to the prologue to avoid any problems with having to talk about Dalton's recovery

Characters
The funny thing is that despite this being about a League Champion, the story is very much a character piece. I like that, it seems to be the best way to deal with characters who already are the very best, so to speak. So we have a functional alcoholic as the main character - ok. This sort of thing is damn difficult to do well, and I wouldn't dare touch it myself. Alcoholism is widely misunderstood, and it's no instant drama device either. I think what will probably make or break it is how you deal with Dalton's relationships that matter - not just Cynthia, but his pokémon, too. I'm not saying that he has to be sympathetic, per se, but if that doesn't ring true then Dalton will probably end up coming across as annoying. The readers have to spend the story in his head, so there has to be something they like to see.

That being said, I wouldn't take that to mean that you've got it wrong so far, just things to think about. Cynthia, by the way is ... fine. She comes across as a bit more Hollywood phony than in her official appearances - all that "Jamie, darling!" business, it just feels like something a couple of A-list actors would say to each other on the Graham Norton show to convince us that they really are best buds

Final Thoughts
Your prose is good. It's lean and tightly constructed. It's still early days yet, but I'm quite prepared to see where this goes
 
Thanks for the thoughts Airt and BP!

And yes, this is very much a character piece, one where the character's demons make it difficult (and at the same time possibly easy) to be related to. And yes, it's very delicate and something I wouldn't touch without first hand experience.

Regarding Cynthia, you nailed it regarding the motivations for such an over the top greeting (in public - although I was hoping to explore said motivations and the contrast between public and private without someone noticing that :p).

Regarding pacing, I wouldn't call it a hard stop after the prologue, but there's definitely a different pace setting in due to the massive tone shift.
 
After personally overseeing this chapter I have to say that I'm glad because you took out the pauses.

Anyways, don't really want to echo much of what was said, this chapter overall was a lot like I remember it sort of. The scene with the Pokemon I think was a good way to properly introduce them all as well as what they mean to James as one of the last few things that he can actually appreciate in life that won't kill him. You showed off some interesting character dynamics here that further brought out the fact that while James accomplished his dream he is not leaving the life he thought he would have...though he still seems to be having a lot of fun with it regardless :p

I don't know what kind of changes you'll give this story but at least I'm sure that I'll have fun seeing what kind of things James goes through.
 
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