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Corrupt a Wish: Hard Mode

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Julum

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Corrupt a Wish, but there are rounds, and you have 3 lives. If your wish gets corrupted with you dying or getting hurt in it, you lose a life. When you run out of lives, you're out. A new round is started every 1-2 or a few pages or so.

Current Round: 2

I wish Music was illegal for everything except in video games. (So yay, no chorus class!)
 
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Life becomes boring as you have no music whatsoever in the car.

I wish these forums would stop lagging.
 
Granted, but you get a computer virus that lets a killer track you down. So, -1 life for you. I wish I could speak Japanese.
 
Granted, but then your Japanese instructor is actually your angry ex. girlfriend and hunts you down. -1

I wish I had a wish.
 
Granted, but just as you are going to make a wish, someone writes your name in the Death Note book. I wish I was the best at everything.
 
Yes, but it's a hardboiled egg that is poisoned. You die of food poisoning. Bon appetit. -1


I wish I do not die or become hurt as a result of this wish.
 
Granted, but you become complacent and fall into a manhole and die. -1 life.

I wish I was in Dixie.
 
Granted, but a Crime Spree is going on there. -1 (-1 one more life, and I'm dead and can't post until the next round!)

I wish I was invincible, so I could never die or get hurt.
 
Granted, but your invincibility turns off and you die if you're in contact with the color green. Since your avatar is green, you die immediately after making the wish. -1

I wish Lance wouldn't be a cheat and have underleveled Dragonite.
 
Granted, but then he gets overleveled Dragonite which are level 255, and he slaughters you. -1

I wish I could fly.
 
Granted, But you fly into a Jet Plane turbine. -1

I wish for a glass with 1/1,000,000 of a milliliter of water it it.
 
Granted, but you suddenly become a klutz and drop the glass. You accidentally step on some broken glass and become hurt. -1

I wish I had a magical oxygen-fortified forcefield that protects me from anything that could possibly hurt me or kill me. And supplied free fat, sodium, and sugar-free non-poisoned cheese fries.
 
Granted, but they are salted. You eat too many with no drinking liquid. De-hydration occurs. -1

I wish for a cup made of soft plastic with 1/1,000,000 of a milliliter of water it it.
 
...a car with a drunken driver crashed on top of you while you're thinking of a wish. -1

I wish we can go back to the past without malfunctions.
 
Granted, but you go back to the Cretacious Period and get eaten by a Tyrannosaurus Rex. -1

I wish I could see a talking opossum.
 
You see it, but with the evolution of talking also came a taste for human flesh, AND now opossums have teeth 10 inches long. -1

I wish it was never too dark and never too light.
 
Granted, your combination results in a new combination of light and dark that severly injures your eyes somehow. -1

I wish it's never too late.
 
Granted, but now it's too early and you fall down a flight of stairs due to a lack of sleep. -1
 
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