• Hello!

    Please be aware that our content warnings system has recently been updated! Please refer to this thread for more information, or if you're unsure, feel free to contact a Workshop staff member!

    Thank you all for helping us ensure our community is a safe and healthy one, and for your continued patronage in our Library and Workshop.
  • Forum Moderator applications are now open! If you're interested in joining an active team of moderators for one of the biggest Pokémon forums on the internet, click here for info.

EVERYONE: - Ongoing (CROSSOVER!!!) Pokemon Trainer

C

CaptKirby

New Member
Joined
Nov 6, 2006
Messages
57
Reaction score
0
Chapter I:

Yup, my name is Pokemon Trainer, and I have been training my whole life for this moment. I finally made it to the big leagues, but I am pretty nervous. I do not know if I can beat Mario with a Squirtle or an Ivysaur; Charizard will surely show them who is boss (that is me move over Bruce Springsteen). Yup...this is going to be a pretty epic day.

I hope you all like my fanfic it is my first try, it just started flowing out of me the second I saw this exceedingly manly Brawl characters!
 
Woo-hoo first post! Anyway, I like the concept. This will be a monumental tale of the challenges of a young man's journey through life. Or, you'll screw it up somewhere around chapter 10 and no one will ever read it again. Good luck!
 
Chapter II:

Ahhh, I suddenly feel compelled to float into this Kirby's Dreamland stage. Looks like I am up against Pikachu and Jigglypuff, so this should be as easy as Paris Hilton in a summer breeze. Come on Squirtle, ejaculate your deluge in Jigglypuff's face, she does not stand a chance! The best part of this is how I cannot even be damaged, I am behind a fucking invisible force field, so all the damage goes to my pokemon whilst I get all the winnings from their hard work. People call me things like 'pussy,' but they are clearly just envious of my ingenuity. Pokemon Trainer is rising straight to the top.
 
Ejaculate your Deluge in Jigglypuff's face. I laughed very very hard at that line.
 
Squirtle's attack comes from its inner powers...I will admit that I do not entirely understand the intricacies of what this means Butler ;)

Woo, this is really hard, I will post Chapter III tomorrow, it will detail Pokemon Trainer's love and attempted romance of Zelda...oh yes.
 
Kapitel Drei:

Well, I lost pretty terribly, Pikachu used Thunder on my Charizard at the same time that Jigglypuff hit it with a Rollout. Mario and Luigi were laughing and taunting me in Italian, whilst Link talked about his "dudez in your basez" in Hyrule and how a real man would have taken down some puny pokemon, and then he stabbed my Ivysaur in its ovaries! What he does not know is that afterward, I got to touch his Princess Zelda's ovaries, hah! She came over to commiserate with me, saying that she routinely loses to these guys when she is Zelda. I smoothly put my hand upon hers and asked what she meant by "when she was Zelda," only to have her transform into a fucking man, with me still touching her hand! Fortunately, Pokemon Trainer got game, for women or for men, and I invited him to come back to my room for a nice time, under the pretense of 'drinking away our sorrows.' Things got pretty wild, when suddenly Jigglypuff popped in the room to sing one of her ridiculous songs...boy the look on her face! Link and Young Link keep leaving bombs in my toilet today as revenge, so shit is all over the place, and I have to fight Link, Marth, and Roy, who all are claiming to defend Zelda's honor as a woman (I guess Link is a little uncomfortable with Zelda's male side). The joke is on him though, because I left a Jynx in his bathtub. Pokemon Trainer needs to get out of this place, what was Nintendo thinking putting me in this game! Screw this, I am going to go hit up Dr. Mario to prescribe me some of his famous shrooms.



Blackjack Palazzo, this is not a serious fanfic in any way, shape, or form. The only time I write long, winding discourses is for argument or for school essays, as I am sure that my writing is far beneath the likes of someone such as Thomas Paine or Issac Newton, and therefore I would much rather people spend time reading from them than reading anything I post on a pokemon forum!
 
Last edited:
The next chapter will involve love letters, pokemon training, pokemon brutality, and, well, the Ice Climbers and D.K. get a little romantic...
 
CaptKirby said:
Blackjack Palazzo, this is not a serious fanfic in any way, shape, or form. The only time I write long, winding discourses is for argument or for school essays, as I am sure that my writing is far beneath the likes of someone such as Thomas Paine or Issac Newton, and therefore I would much rather people spend time reading from them than reading anything I post on a pokemon forum!
Click to expand...

But you should respect your works as well as your readers.

Plus, I know it's journal format, but one giant block paragraph is hard on the eyes.

But it's still rather funny.
 
Kapitel Vier:

Fighting in my home town, Saffron City, oh yeah, Pokemon Trainer going to rip those swordsmen apart with my bare pokemon (get it, like bare fists, and also like they are naked, because pokemon are always naked). I hate teleporting to these stages, it is a sickly feeling, as you get your entire body ripped apart atom by atom, as if stabbed repeatedly in an instant with the most trenchant of all knives, and then instantly glued back together; it is about as painful as watching Rosie O' Donnell and Ellen DeGeneres fight over who is the better lesbian, while at the same time George Bush make more speeches about how his bungle in the jungle and how we need yet another surge troop(as in Iraq, that one was not a sexual pun...well, it would be pretty terrible to hear him talk about that bungle in the jungle too...poor Barbara Bush). Three against one; Link sure is a chickenshit. May as well get this over with...Ivysaur is scared to battle him though :/ so this is going to be brutal. Charizard, dodge their smash attacks and use Flame Wheel! Excellent. I have to question how Link thinks this is defending his man's honor, though, as I just stand here in the background the whole fight, and my pokemon do all the fighting, but then again, he is crazier than Britney Spears in a babershop. Shit, Marth countered, I can never beat these guys, what was I thinking coming here. Shit, I lost again, three versus one, what a bunch of pussies. Alright, that does it, Pokemon Trainer going to teach his pokemon to have a killer instinct; time to go on a pokemon journey. I better write to Zelda-Man to let he-she know where I am off to...

Dear Zelly,
|-|3`/ 848`/, |-|0\/\/ 4123 7|-|1|\|95 \/\/17|-| _|00? | 4/\/\ \/\/1217||\|9 7|-||5 ||\| 1337 5|>33|< 50 7|-|47 1||\||< \/\/|11 |-|4\/3 |\|0 |=|_|(|<||\|9 (1|_|3 480|_|7 411 73|-| |)11274`/ 7|-|1|\|95 | \/\/4|\|7 70 |) 70 `/0|_|12 83|_|7||=|_|1 80085 4|\||) 4|_50 |_|12 /\/\4|\|1`/ |>4125 101...1 |-|4\/3 70 54`/ 7|-|0|_|9|-|, 1 123411`/ \/\/15|-| j00 \/\/0|_|1|) 74|<3 |_|12 /\/\45|< 0|=|= |\|3><7 71/\/\3. I am leaving to teach my pokemon to kill things, see you later baby. Keep Ness out of my lingerie while I am gone.

Your truly,
Pokemon Trainer (da champ)

Excellent, time to embark on this marvelous journey.




Okay I lied, no Ice Climbers on DK action, but I promise I will work in more illicit relations later (Dr. Mario and Peach? bum bum bum). Blackjack, you really have no right to say that I have any obligation to do anything past following board rules. This is written to make fun of fanfiction, along with the worst Super Smash Brothers character of all time, so why would I be trying to do things in any facsimile of a respectable manner? As far as huge paragraphs go, that is just the way I have always written; I am sorry that it makes it more difficult for you to read, but it is not something I can really change, as I never have understood the idea of paragraphs for anything less than a huge change in train of thought.

Glad you are still enjoying it Butler and Satoshi ^____^

EDIT: apparently Georgey's wife is Barbara, not Laura...little mistake :-*
 
Last edited:
LOL! You have a twisted way with words Kribs. That is truely insane shit as always! :D
 
If this gets any funnier I will quit writing because I can simply not top it.
 
I salute you, Captain. I thought it woudl be stupid at first, but something about it made me spray spit all over my monitor a few sentences into it.
 
Hahaha, good stuff. I like the idea, no one'd ever think to do a fanfic like this XP. You have another fan, CK :P
 
Hmm, this should be far enough into the wilderness for nobody to catch me. Alright guys, you have to learn a killer instinct. Remember that Virginia Tech massacre? I want you to emulate that guy, so each of you has to kill thirty-two Caterpies and wound twenty-five Weedles. So come back once you have finished that; meanwhile I have to get my blog on, so y'all can take your time.

Dear Livejournal,

Mood: Ornery

*sigh* life just gets more complicated all the time. So, today I was trying to drive to my work, Super Smash Brothers Brawl, some loser flipped me off! I honked my horn back and he did it again god. Anyway, Princess Zelda still has not commented on my last blog post. Link, stop fucking spamming me okay! I know it is you trying to sell me "Hyrulian Penis Enhancer" and promising me 30,000,000 rupees. Listen, I am from JAPAN we do not even use rupees, we use Yen you dumbfuck. Anyway, so once I got there, even Mr. Game and Watch made fun of me for losing to Marth, Link, and I think he was, at least, since all he can do is click like an African tribesman. I swear to God, I am going to have Ivysaur leech seed all his shit tonight, it is on. Oh, here comes Charizard, I gotta go.

Peace ^__________^,
Pokemon Trainer

Alright Charizard, just chill for a bit, I have to shift into anon mode. Link will never know what hit him once I get 4Chan on his case fufufufufufu. They will post all sorts of goatse on his blog.

Thirty minutes later...

Alright guys, great work, let us get back to Kirby's Dreamland and show them how anonymous do it.
 
Please note: The thread is from 19 years ago.
Please take the age of this thread into consideration in writing your reply. Depending on what exactly you wanted to say, you may want to consider if it would be better to post a new thread instead.
Back
Top Bottom