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As you may or may not be aware, I'm giving up writing fanfiction until I graduate. Yes, shock, horror and apologies.
This is because I don't have time etc. etc. As many of you know, I'm working on a novel and I've worked out that I can't write good fanfiction, a good novel and get a good degree and, unfortunately, the latter two seemed more important.
Anyway, I also realised that I have quite a few non-Pokemon stories saved to my computer that I never posted here because, as a rule, I save them for publication. HOWEVER, I realised that there are many which are never going to be published. Unfortunately, that means you will only be seeing the poorer examples of my work but, that's the way things are.
So, without further ado, the first in what is sure to be a series of non-Pokemon one shots. I wrote this some time ago, very possibly before I even began Rival's Story so don't be surprised if it is not up to my usual standard. I edited it very slightly (typos and the like) but generally tried to keep it as it was. Hope you enjoy.
Dear Mother
Dear Mother,
I’ve been travelling for five years and I would like to come home. My time in the circus was fun, but since then my life has been hard. I assumed I would meet a beautiful girl and, after a few trials and/or tribulations would live happily ever after, but that didn’t happen. I thought I might meet some kind of comical companion with whom I could stick through thick and thin, like a dwarf or perhaps some sort of animal but the performers, including the animals, don’t like to speak to the ‘work’. It was still fun, I made friends with a boy called Pablo. He’s Spanish. Pablo could be tiresome sometimes because he couldn’t speak much English.
Even though I just cleaned up, I really enjoyed my time at the circus, the shows were really good. In fact, Mother, if you don’t allow me to come home, I think I may return there. Anyway, though I enjoyed my time there I eventually thought it was time to leave and find my fortune. I don’t know why I thought it would be so easy, but I was jealous because Pablo had, by this point, left to work for his rich uncle in Spain, I think he owns villas and rents them out to English and American families who are even richer than him.
Anyway, it had been two years since I had started work at the circus and I decided it was time to leave and find my fortune. I picked up my last month’s pay, said my goodbyes and left. Not that there many to say, as I said, my main friend was Pablo and he had left not long beforehand. I wasn’t sure how I was going to “find my fortune”, but I’d heard they were always looking for work in the city, so I headed there.
The reality was nothing like the beautiful picture I had made in my mind. First things first, I had to sort out where I was going to live. There were lots of rooms available but even the cheapest weren’t cheap. Including money for food I could only afford to stay for five or six nights before I got myself a job. That said, as soon as I had a job I was adamant that I would not be staying there any more. It was awful, I could not possibly do justice to how bad it was with mere words so I won’t try.
The next day I went out again to look for a job. Surprisingly quickly, I was offered the job of window cleaner of a sky scraper. I was offered the chance to operate one of those contraptions that you hear about window cleaners of big buildings using. It was terribly exciting, so I took the job. It didn’t pay very well, so I had to keep living in the room I told you about earlier. Every night, I used to think about my room back at home, my room where I was the only thing living and all moisture was confined to a glass. All I had to brave was a few arguments and getting a free education, but I suppose I needed these experiences to see that.
While I was cleaning windows, I would always look in. I half-expected to see Father there, as he used to go on business trips to the city sometimes, I think. I saw all sorts of things while I cleaned the windows. There were lots of business men. Some of them argued with each other, I even saw a fist fight once – a man was knocked to the floor. I’m not sure what they were fighting about. They mostly got on though, I guess that’s a lot easier in a working environment. I even saw a few beautiful girls, I didn’t live happily ever after with any of them though. I didn’t even speak to them. I’ll save you the hassle of thinking that I might have, Mother, by telling you that I haven’t met a beautiful girl to live happily ever after with, in fact I didn’t meet any beautiful girls whatsoever in the last five years.
The most significant thing I saw whilst cleaning those windows was a temporary stall set up by an army officer. There were signs all around the man. It appeared that the army offered full board and a guaranteed place to live. It didn’t seem to be asking for any qualifications either, so I left my post to go and visit this man. He told me that I would need no qualifications or education, which was good because, as you know, Mother, I didn’t have any. I signed up there and then. Later that day, I was on a ship to a country I had never even heard of, I still don’t know the name of it. Come to think of it, I never officially resigned from my window cleaning job. I wonder how long it took them to figure out that I wasn’t coming back. I’d feel terrible if those windows were still dirty.
The army was not a fun time for me, Mother, it wasn’t even exciting, I don’t have any interesting army stories and I didn’t even meet any cool army buddies with missing arms or legs. I didn’t really meet anyone at all. In fact, after a couple of months of basic training, where no one talked about anything except basic training, I was put on a guard post. I stood there with an assortment of weapons but no reason to ever use them. Which was good, I suppose, I shouldn’t have liked to hurt anyone. I’ve heard lots of stories about the army and war and they’re always exciting, or at least horrific. For me, the army was pretty boring.
I’d completely given up on meeting a beautiful girl by this point, I was even beginning to think that I may not find my fortune. Now I know that I won’t ever find my fortune and I’m just hoping that you’ll let me come home, Mother, so I might have at least as much as I started out with. It was not until I joined the army that I began to think my misfortune did not begin when I left the circus but when I left you.
Anyway, in the army, I lived in a guard post. It had two comfortable bedrooms and an ample supply of food for two men. It also came with a partner, Mark. Mark was a real manly man, he kept talking to an absolute minimum. I didn’t like it. It was awfully boring and lonesome. I may as well have been on my own. The most Mark ever said to me in an hour was, “The weather out here’s nice, don’t you think?”
Other than that, he mostly just grunted. I had to do six months’ service though. After that, I left. So it had been three years since I had left home and to tell you the truth, Mother, I was really starting to miss it.
I’d spent two years cleaning up the waste of all sorts of exotic animals and watching free circus shows, six months cleaning windows and watching the everyday lives of business men and six months in the army, cleaning nothing and watching nothing.
After I left the army I didn’t know what to do. Once again, I had nowhere to go and no money to get me anywhere anyway. The army dropped me off at the dock that their ship had picked me up from. (On the way there they had also taken me from the city to the dock, but I wasn’t interested in going back to the city any more anyway, there was nothing there for me.)
So there I was at the dock with no work and nowhere to stay. Then, I saw a sign in the window of a fisher place’s saying they needed workers. I thought this was as good a place as any, so in I went. The man was extremely odd, his name was Ned or something, the reason I don’t remember it is because I only ever called him ‘Captain’, that was all he ever allowed anyone to call him, you see. When I arrived in the fisher’s place, Captain (as I shall henceforth refer to him as) immediately began telling me about how his sailing career had brought him to docks around the world, mostly Scandinavia. His favourite was Amsterdam, I think it’s the capital of Holland, but I’m not sure. The stories he told were amazing, I could never do them justice, so I won’t try. Just suffice to say that they were amazing. I’d never heard of a more amazing place in all my life and I couldn’t wait to set sail.
So, that afternoon, we set sail, but what Captain had failed to tell me was that we weren’t going to Amsterdam. Nowadays he just used his ship for his fishing business, it was just a fishing boat. We were in the middle of the sea before he decided to tell me that. I was furious, I tried to threaten him but the other men on the boat held me down until I calmed down. Eventually, I agreed to help him out in exchange for a decent wage and a place to stay back where Captain was living.
After we went out for the first time, I continued to live with and work for the Captain. He continued to taunt me with tales of Amsterdam, of course, I would experience it for myself in due course, but I wasn’t to know that at the time, so it was very frustrating for me to listen to his stories. I knew I couldn’t stay with Captain forever. After two months of working for him, I had enough money to be able to go home, but I was too proud. I had not met a beautiful girl and I had not found my fortune so to return would have been to admit you were right, Mother, and even though you were, I was too proud to admit it back then. So instead, I spent a further six months working for Captain rented a small boat and sailed to Scandinavia, the hallowed ground. I arrived in Norway and I got a train all the way to Amsterdam. My hopes were high, but I was not disappointed.
In Amsterdam, I lived an extremely hedonistic lifestyle, but I wasn’t happy, though I certainly thought I was at the time. I met the most fabulous people, Mother. There were lots of beautiful women in Amsterdam, you could not call them girls for that word implies a certain level of innocence. I certainly did not consider for even one second that I may live happily ever after with any of them, but they were good fun. I had friends there too, hedonists, just like I was at the time, I don’t remember any of their names or even how many of them there were. We didn’t have a fixed address, we either stayed out all night or squatted in some abandoned building. But that lifestyle couldn’t last forever, the money I had worked eight months to earn (in which time, I may add, I didn’t spend a penny of it as Captain gave me food and a place to live on top of my salary) ran dry in half that time.
For a while, my friends supported me, but before long they all disappeared or ran out of money themselves. The good life was over. Once again, I had nowhere to go and no money to take me there anyway. For a while I begged for money, but it took me a month to get what I earned in a day as a window cleaner and I didn’t earn a lot as a window cleaner. That was when I knew it was time to come for sure, I had been thinking about it for about a year and a half but had been too proud to do so and it was finally time to swallow my pride and head home.
Of course, this was easier said than done, I wasn’t on the same landmass. I wasn’t even near the coast of this one. So I decided to hitchhike my way home. It took me a very long time, it was two weeks before I even got out of Holland. I met a great deal of people on my way there, I must have hitched a hundred different rides, but very few of them were at all interesting. There was a trucker who claimed to be a killer, but I don’t think he actually was. I also met a group of kids who were seeing how many hitchhikers they could pick up, I was number three and they got two more before I left the car.
Anyway, after two months of hitchhiking, I finally arrived at the West coast of Norway. I thanked and bid farewell to my last travelling companions (an elderly couple who thought my tales were most entertaining) and went about looking for a way to get home, but it wasn’t as simple as hitching a ride on a boat as it was in cars. I would have to work again but I didn’t know where or who for. I wished I could just swim home but I could never keep it up for that long, it simply wasn’t an option. At the same time, I couldn’t bear to get another job. So I became a stowaway. I waited for a ship to be leaving for home. It was a month before one did. That month was the worst month of my life, I lived at the docks. I barely slept, just in case an appropriate ship arrived while I was asleep. I barely ate, because I couldn’t afford anything.
Anyway, I was a stowaway on this ship. I came on board with the crew and snuck down into the engine room as soon as I got the chance. I was down there for a day or two, it was a very slow moving ship, you see. I ate nothing. I was so hungry that I even considered eating one of the rats that was down there with me. I was so bored that I did hunt and kill one of those rats.
When we arrived I was so close to home that I could not believe it. I bounded out of the ship joyously, but I was caught. The captain of the ship (not to be confused with the man who I call ‘Captain’) saw me as I was ‘sneaking’ out. I’m not sure whether he thought I was an illegal immigrant or one of his sailors slacking off, but he wasn’t happy. He told me that I would have to pay for the ferry service I stole. I told him I didn’t have any money. So he made me work. Six, long months I worked for that cruel hearted man. I was part of his crew, helping keep the ship ship shape as we sailed around the world. I spoke to no one, out of choice. I just wanted to get home and see you, Mother. Eventually, the captain of the ship dropped me back at the dock near home.
I started to run home with excitement, even though the dock is at least ten miles from home, but then I stopped and thought that with all the apologies in the world, you might never want to see your son again. I pray that this is not the case, but I must prepare in case it is.
So, I stopped and with the money the captain (the cruel-hearted one, not ‘Captain’) gave me so that I could “get home safely” I bought some writing equipment, an envelope, a stamp and I wrote you this letter so that you might know what your son has been doing in the five years in which you have not seen or heard from him, and with that information you can decide whether or not you would like to welcome me back in to your home.
All I can do is apologise and tell you that you were right. I did not meet a beautiful girl, I did not find my fortune and I should have got an education, it would have made my life much easier. I shall post this letter immediately and return home in two days. Hopefully you will have made your decision by then.
From, your loving Son
This is because I don't have time etc. etc. As many of you know, I'm working on a novel and I've worked out that I can't write good fanfiction, a good novel and get a good degree and, unfortunately, the latter two seemed more important.
Anyway, I also realised that I have quite a few non-Pokemon stories saved to my computer that I never posted here because, as a rule, I save them for publication. HOWEVER, I realised that there are many which are never going to be published. Unfortunately, that means you will only be seeing the poorer examples of my work but, that's the way things are.
So, without further ado, the first in what is sure to be a series of non-Pokemon one shots. I wrote this some time ago, very possibly before I even began Rival's Story so don't be surprised if it is not up to my usual standard. I edited it very slightly (typos and the like) but generally tried to keep it as it was. Hope you enjoy.
Dear Mother
Dear Mother,
I’ve been travelling for five years and I would like to come home. My time in the circus was fun, but since then my life has been hard. I assumed I would meet a beautiful girl and, after a few trials and/or tribulations would live happily ever after, but that didn’t happen. I thought I might meet some kind of comical companion with whom I could stick through thick and thin, like a dwarf or perhaps some sort of animal but the performers, including the animals, don’t like to speak to the ‘work’. It was still fun, I made friends with a boy called Pablo. He’s Spanish. Pablo could be tiresome sometimes because he couldn’t speak much English.
Even though I just cleaned up, I really enjoyed my time at the circus, the shows were really good. In fact, Mother, if you don’t allow me to come home, I think I may return there. Anyway, though I enjoyed my time there I eventually thought it was time to leave and find my fortune. I don’t know why I thought it would be so easy, but I was jealous because Pablo had, by this point, left to work for his rich uncle in Spain, I think he owns villas and rents them out to English and American families who are even richer than him.
Anyway, it had been two years since I had started work at the circus and I decided it was time to leave and find my fortune. I picked up my last month’s pay, said my goodbyes and left. Not that there many to say, as I said, my main friend was Pablo and he had left not long beforehand. I wasn’t sure how I was going to “find my fortune”, but I’d heard they were always looking for work in the city, so I headed there.
The reality was nothing like the beautiful picture I had made in my mind. First things first, I had to sort out where I was going to live. There were lots of rooms available but even the cheapest weren’t cheap. Including money for food I could only afford to stay for five or six nights before I got myself a job. That said, as soon as I had a job I was adamant that I would not be staying there any more. It was awful, I could not possibly do justice to how bad it was with mere words so I won’t try.
The next day I went out again to look for a job. Surprisingly quickly, I was offered the job of window cleaner of a sky scraper. I was offered the chance to operate one of those contraptions that you hear about window cleaners of big buildings using. It was terribly exciting, so I took the job. It didn’t pay very well, so I had to keep living in the room I told you about earlier. Every night, I used to think about my room back at home, my room where I was the only thing living and all moisture was confined to a glass. All I had to brave was a few arguments and getting a free education, but I suppose I needed these experiences to see that.
While I was cleaning windows, I would always look in. I half-expected to see Father there, as he used to go on business trips to the city sometimes, I think. I saw all sorts of things while I cleaned the windows. There were lots of business men. Some of them argued with each other, I even saw a fist fight once – a man was knocked to the floor. I’m not sure what they were fighting about. They mostly got on though, I guess that’s a lot easier in a working environment. I even saw a few beautiful girls, I didn’t live happily ever after with any of them though. I didn’t even speak to them. I’ll save you the hassle of thinking that I might have, Mother, by telling you that I haven’t met a beautiful girl to live happily ever after with, in fact I didn’t meet any beautiful girls whatsoever in the last five years.
The most significant thing I saw whilst cleaning those windows was a temporary stall set up by an army officer. There were signs all around the man. It appeared that the army offered full board and a guaranteed place to live. It didn’t seem to be asking for any qualifications either, so I left my post to go and visit this man. He told me that I would need no qualifications or education, which was good because, as you know, Mother, I didn’t have any. I signed up there and then. Later that day, I was on a ship to a country I had never even heard of, I still don’t know the name of it. Come to think of it, I never officially resigned from my window cleaning job. I wonder how long it took them to figure out that I wasn’t coming back. I’d feel terrible if those windows were still dirty.
The army was not a fun time for me, Mother, it wasn’t even exciting, I don’t have any interesting army stories and I didn’t even meet any cool army buddies with missing arms or legs. I didn’t really meet anyone at all. In fact, after a couple of months of basic training, where no one talked about anything except basic training, I was put on a guard post. I stood there with an assortment of weapons but no reason to ever use them. Which was good, I suppose, I shouldn’t have liked to hurt anyone. I’ve heard lots of stories about the army and war and they’re always exciting, or at least horrific. For me, the army was pretty boring.
I’d completely given up on meeting a beautiful girl by this point, I was even beginning to think that I may not find my fortune. Now I know that I won’t ever find my fortune and I’m just hoping that you’ll let me come home, Mother, so I might have at least as much as I started out with. It was not until I joined the army that I began to think my misfortune did not begin when I left the circus but when I left you.
Anyway, in the army, I lived in a guard post. It had two comfortable bedrooms and an ample supply of food for two men. It also came with a partner, Mark. Mark was a real manly man, he kept talking to an absolute minimum. I didn’t like it. It was awfully boring and lonesome. I may as well have been on my own. The most Mark ever said to me in an hour was, “The weather out here’s nice, don’t you think?”
Other than that, he mostly just grunted. I had to do six months’ service though. After that, I left. So it had been three years since I had left home and to tell you the truth, Mother, I was really starting to miss it.
I’d spent two years cleaning up the waste of all sorts of exotic animals and watching free circus shows, six months cleaning windows and watching the everyday lives of business men and six months in the army, cleaning nothing and watching nothing.
After I left the army I didn’t know what to do. Once again, I had nowhere to go and no money to get me anywhere anyway. The army dropped me off at the dock that their ship had picked me up from. (On the way there they had also taken me from the city to the dock, but I wasn’t interested in going back to the city any more anyway, there was nothing there for me.)
So there I was at the dock with no work and nowhere to stay. Then, I saw a sign in the window of a fisher place’s saying they needed workers. I thought this was as good a place as any, so in I went. The man was extremely odd, his name was Ned or something, the reason I don’t remember it is because I only ever called him ‘Captain’, that was all he ever allowed anyone to call him, you see. When I arrived in the fisher’s place, Captain (as I shall henceforth refer to him as) immediately began telling me about how his sailing career had brought him to docks around the world, mostly Scandinavia. His favourite was Amsterdam, I think it’s the capital of Holland, but I’m not sure. The stories he told were amazing, I could never do them justice, so I won’t try. Just suffice to say that they were amazing. I’d never heard of a more amazing place in all my life and I couldn’t wait to set sail.
So, that afternoon, we set sail, but what Captain had failed to tell me was that we weren’t going to Amsterdam. Nowadays he just used his ship for his fishing business, it was just a fishing boat. We were in the middle of the sea before he decided to tell me that. I was furious, I tried to threaten him but the other men on the boat held me down until I calmed down. Eventually, I agreed to help him out in exchange for a decent wage and a place to stay back where Captain was living.
After we went out for the first time, I continued to live with and work for the Captain. He continued to taunt me with tales of Amsterdam, of course, I would experience it for myself in due course, but I wasn’t to know that at the time, so it was very frustrating for me to listen to his stories. I knew I couldn’t stay with Captain forever. After two months of working for him, I had enough money to be able to go home, but I was too proud. I had not met a beautiful girl and I had not found my fortune so to return would have been to admit you were right, Mother, and even though you were, I was too proud to admit it back then. So instead, I spent a further six months working for Captain rented a small boat and sailed to Scandinavia, the hallowed ground. I arrived in Norway and I got a train all the way to Amsterdam. My hopes were high, but I was not disappointed.
In Amsterdam, I lived an extremely hedonistic lifestyle, but I wasn’t happy, though I certainly thought I was at the time. I met the most fabulous people, Mother. There were lots of beautiful women in Amsterdam, you could not call them girls for that word implies a certain level of innocence. I certainly did not consider for even one second that I may live happily ever after with any of them, but they were good fun. I had friends there too, hedonists, just like I was at the time, I don’t remember any of their names or even how many of them there were. We didn’t have a fixed address, we either stayed out all night or squatted in some abandoned building. But that lifestyle couldn’t last forever, the money I had worked eight months to earn (in which time, I may add, I didn’t spend a penny of it as Captain gave me food and a place to live on top of my salary) ran dry in half that time.
For a while, my friends supported me, but before long they all disappeared or ran out of money themselves. The good life was over. Once again, I had nowhere to go and no money to take me there anyway. For a while I begged for money, but it took me a month to get what I earned in a day as a window cleaner and I didn’t earn a lot as a window cleaner. That was when I knew it was time to come for sure, I had been thinking about it for about a year and a half but had been too proud to do so and it was finally time to swallow my pride and head home.
Of course, this was easier said than done, I wasn’t on the same landmass. I wasn’t even near the coast of this one. So I decided to hitchhike my way home. It took me a very long time, it was two weeks before I even got out of Holland. I met a great deal of people on my way there, I must have hitched a hundred different rides, but very few of them were at all interesting. There was a trucker who claimed to be a killer, but I don’t think he actually was. I also met a group of kids who were seeing how many hitchhikers they could pick up, I was number three and they got two more before I left the car.
Anyway, after two months of hitchhiking, I finally arrived at the West coast of Norway. I thanked and bid farewell to my last travelling companions (an elderly couple who thought my tales were most entertaining) and went about looking for a way to get home, but it wasn’t as simple as hitching a ride on a boat as it was in cars. I would have to work again but I didn’t know where or who for. I wished I could just swim home but I could never keep it up for that long, it simply wasn’t an option. At the same time, I couldn’t bear to get another job. So I became a stowaway. I waited for a ship to be leaving for home. It was a month before one did. That month was the worst month of my life, I lived at the docks. I barely slept, just in case an appropriate ship arrived while I was asleep. I barely ate, because I couldn’t afford anything.
Anyway, I was a stowaway on this ship. I came on board with the crew and snuck down into the engine room as soon as I got the chance. I was down there for a day or two, it was a very slow moving ship, you see. I ate nothing. I was so hungry that I even considered eating one of the rats that was down there with me. I was so bored that I did hunt and kill one of those rats.
When we arrived I was so close to home that I could not believe it. I bounded out of the ship joyously, but I was caught. The captain of the ship (not to be confused with the man who I call ‘Captain’) saw me as I was ‘sneaking’ out. I’m not sure whether he thought I was an illegal immigrant or one of his sailors slacking off, but he wasn’t happy. He told me that I would have to pay for the ferry service I stole. I told him I didn’t have any money. So he made me work. Six, long months I worked for that cruel hearted man. I was part of his crew, helping keep the ship ship shape as we sailed around the world. I spoke to no one, out of choice. I just wanted to get home and see you, Mother. Eventually, the captain of the ship dropped me back at the dock near home.
I started to run home with excitement, even though the dock is at least ten miles from home, but then I stopped and thought that with all the apologies in the world, you might never want to see your son again. I pray that this is not the case, but I must prepare in case it is.
So, I stopped and with the money the captain (the cruel-hearted one, not ‘Captain’) gave me so that I could “get home safely” I bought some writing equipment, an envelope, a stamp and I wrote you this letter so that you might know what your son has been doing in the five years in which you have not seen or heard from him, and with that information you can decide whether or not you would like to welcome me back in to your home.
All I can do is apologise and tell you that you were right. I did not meet a beautiful girl, I did not find my fortune and I should have got an education, it would have made my life much easier. I shall post this letter immediately and return home in two days. Hopefully you will have made your decision by then.
From, your loving Son
