TEEN: - Complete Documented Thoughts v2.0 (PG13 again) *More*angst/Soapy monologues, and some dialogue

[~** Dee Aye**~]

Okay so I'm bored, big deal, I'll just post again, gut nothing better to do anyway. BTW, the place where I am writing this sucks, there's this yellow T-shirt guy looking at what I'm doing!

Here are the Japanese translations again, just in case you didn't want to read v1.0 which is fine, just that... go read!

Kanto

Takeshi - Brock
Kasumi - Misty
Matisu - Surge
Erika - Erika
Natsume - Sabrina
Kyou - Koga
Katsura - Blaine
Sakaki - Giovanni

Johto

Hayato - Falkner
Tsukushi - Bugsy
Akane - Whitney
Matsuba - Morty
Shijima - Chuck
Mikan - Jasmine
Yanagi - Pryce
Ibuki - Clair
Aya - Koga's sister

Houen (GBA)

Tsutsuji - Rock
Touki - Fighting
Tessen - Electric
Asuna - Fire
Senri - Normal
Nagi - Flying
Fuu and Ran - Psychic
Mikuri - Water

All Elites (Shittenou) so far:

Kanna - Lorelei (Prima?)
Kikuko - Agatha
Itsuki - Will
Shiba - Bruno
Kyou - Koga
Karin - Karen
Wataru - Lance
Kagetsu(GBA) - Dark
Fuyou(GBA) - Ghost
Purimu(GBA) - Ice
Genji(GBA) - Dragon

Masters/Other Characters (only the ones I might use)

Daigo(GBA) - Steel
Masami - Bill from the Lighthouse
Ookido-Hakase - Prof. Oak
Utsugi-Hakase - Prof. Elm
Odamaki-Hakase(GBA)

BTW, this is set in GBA continuity, oh yep, wait, i made up that continuity, damn', I'll show you,

1st year - Kanto (R/B/G/Y)

3 years later - Johto (G/S/C)

20 years later - Houen (R/S)

Makes no sense? I know, but it's the only way I can get my continuity to work, so please bare with me here.

And in case I didn't mention it before, this is also game continuity only, no Anime in here as I don't watch it and I refuse to use Anime Satoshi as a character (needless to say Anime Kasumi and Anime Takeshi).

Anyway, here goes:

Documented Thoughts v2.0

I​

"Don't say that!" I tell her holding her hand "You are not going to die and that's it!" I press harder than before, why is she trying to make me cry? Is it all one sick mind game to her? Her pulse is so low... I'm starting to believe she isn't joking... should I call a nurse or a doctor? No... not yet, she's still fine, there's nothing to worry about.

Her eyes have turned grey, it must be the weather, or the age, she's been through a lot, she had to raise me all by herself, Itsuki being away for a long time. I hardly even noticed, but even like that... I'm rambling, Itsuki's not the topic now, he hasn't arrived yet. She's not in her best looks, her long hair is getting dark grey instead of the usual bleeched blonde. But the grey hairs are hardly notorious anyway, besides, I think it looks good. Didn't I just say she wasn't in her best? Yeah... *her* best... to her, she must look hideous, part of the reason why she didn't want Itsuki here back when I called him. I think it's fine.

She laughs at my comment. Like she's sure to die. Her heart condition was really severe this time, so the doctor said this could be it. What he meant by that? It could be interpreted in many completely different ways. I'm sticking to the one that says this could be the time when they cure her.

"Who are you kidding Kagetsu? And I know you're trying to convince yourself I'm getting out of this one. I'm not darling, fifth time is enough for me, I'm done." she blinked really slowly while saying that, she looks so old, even when she isn't that old... why? Why now? Why not in like... ten years? Why *now*?

"Didn't you hear me Kagetsu? Stop it. I know what you are thinking that bald head of yours is as transparent as my eyebrows, now be a good boy and give Mommie one of your cigarettes."

"Are you crazy? You're in a hospital and you are critical! I can't let you smoke!" I'm biting my lip right now, I'm such an asshole, I never should've said that. She's smiling though, I hate that smartass attitude of her, like she's way ahead of me on this. She's not, she doesn't know, she isn't losing *her* mother, she's just there giving up on life, giving up on *me*! She's always like this, she does what she wants without caring what the other might feel about it.

This time it's hurting me.

And she doesn't even seem to care, to give a damn' about it. Most people say that's a good thing but it's not. It just isn't. Wait, what am I thinking? I'm freakin' punk, I'm supposed to give a damn' about anything, and here I am, giving my mother a lecture she'll never hear on responsability. I guess it's alright, it's anarchy baby.

No it's not. I don't even know what to think anymore.

I need a cigarette. Damn' you mom, now I have to smoke because of what you said, and I can't smoke here, the hospital's window's too small and too far high to try to blow out the smoke. Her eyes are closed, why are her eyes closed? Oh crap, I hope you're happy now mom... mom...

"Mom...? Mom...?" I moved her hand and squeezed it tight, please lpease answer me, what is wrong with you? You have to stop doing this! Please answer me! Come on!

"Cut it Kagetsu, I'm tired." she finally answered. Oh right, that made things a lot better... well, at least she was alive. I swear, I don't make sense anymore, what is wrong with me? 'At least' she's alive? I'm talking trivial about someone's life here, my mother's life.

I'm scared. I'm scared like shit. Itsuki better get here soon or I'm just gonna burst into tears right here. Why am I feeling like this? Why is this time different than the others? Why am I so upset this time and the others I acted cool like I didn't care? Now I really need a smoke. Or an aspirin. Whatever comes first, the nurse or Itsuki. It's a good thing mom's eyes are closed, my lips are trembling and didn't anyone notice how hot it is in here? Damned, my eyeliner is running and... and... heck I'm gonna cry...

I don't... I don't wannna be alone... please mom... don't leave me here... I really don't want to be alone, please, please get through this, please, I love you so much... you can't die on me... don't leave me alone... don't... I have no one besides you... no one... I can't even think of living in that house without you... you were the only one pushing me through... Itsuki... Itsuki's like rather distant, I feel like I don't know him... I've lived my whole life with *you* not with him mom, why do you have to die first? He's older than--

Oh no...

Oh damned...

I can't believe I just thought I'd rather see Itsuki dead than my mom. I'm the lowest scum... I'm... I...

I'm going for a smoke right now.

"How is she?" I heard someone say bursting into the room "I came as soon as you called, it's a long way from Enjyu."

I'm so glad you're here.

"Kagetsu? What's wrong? Something happened to Karin?"

I have to get out of here. Go to Touki's gym... I don't know...

"Oh nothing... just... don't say that again."

Just don't say that. Don't ask what's wrong.

Please.

- Kagetsu Tamaoki - February 4th, 9:24 am - Muro City

(Little side note, Tamaoki's Karin's last name, not Itsuki)

 

[Jude]

*stare*

Wow?

 

[Timarelay]

Ooh, another really good monologue. ^__^ A bit rushed in a few places, so it could use some minor tweakings, but then again it *is* Kagetsu's (who *is* Kagetsu, by the way? ^^:; ) train of though, and train of thought is rather erratic. I liked the last bit of it. Very good. Very sad =/ Great work DA!

Oh! *calls in for a glow in the dark hand brazalet*

 

[Ginger Cat]

Moreness! very cool, Dark... I like. Monolouges are always fun, and this sort of situation makes for an interesting time. Nice work.
Kagetsu... Yah, I'm with Tima on that... Who is it? *knows very little* Educate me!

Anyway, me looks forward to seeing more...

 

[~** Dee Aye**~]

Replies! Yayness!

Okay, who is Kagetsu? Kagetsu is, not other than (if you read the list of Japanese names) the first Houen Elite. Houen is the region you play in Ruby/Sapphire, I don't think those gym leaders/elite 4 have English names yet, so I just figured I would put the (GBA) thing and it would be clear.

"Clear"ly, it wasn't.

You see? These guys are Kagetsu (red punk head) and Touki (bluehead) I have a crush on them because they resemble Itsuki & Matsuba. And BTW, Kagetsu wears the same clothes Itsuki does... *hint hint* I'm a proud supporter of Itsuki being Kagetsu's father. With who? Honoring JD's tastes I made it Karin.

I have other ships from the GBA, but not here. So I'll just say that. Thankies for the Wow Toge and for the coolas liking without understanding who it was Ginger and T ^^;;;;;;

Say, I'll post in a little while part II

 

[Jude]

Ne? Erm... Touki-san da... isn't he the 'heros' father, if you pick a guy?

 

[~** Dee Aye**~]

Uhm, I *think* that would be Senri (he lives in Touka though), from

Uhm, he's the black haired guy, the other one, Daigo, is the Pokemon Master, last one you fight in the game. They're hot. And I just say to myself Kaito (hero)'s mother's love for Senri is uncorresponded, a one sided crush.

Yeah well, you know be, I bend things over... :naughty:

That smilie is so cool!

:mallet:

 

[~** Dee Aye**~]

Gee, I forgot all this week to update! How inconsiderate of me! *:mallet:'s self*

Here it is:

Documented Thoughts v2.0

II​

"Don't say that!" he told me, the wrinkles in his forehead making that funny grimace on his face again "He's not going to hate, you said that was what Karin wanted, this may be your last chance, you heard Kagetsu." Yeah, I heard him, but you didn't, how come you're trying to lecture me on something you don't know for sure? Oh that's right, you trust me, which is not exactly what I'm doing with you right now, damned, I'm blabbering to myself again.

"I know, I know, but don't push it, this may be just a false alaram."

"So what? You're gonna wait until she's actually dying to tell her?" I *so* hate you for being right. You're always right, how come I'm the psychic one and I get all the wrong answers from my mouth? And why do I always present these kind of impossible questions to myself? I never get to answer them, so why even bother? I'm still talking in questions...

"You know, for an ex-pothead, you seem like you're trying to act too sober." Ouch, so should not have said that. He's gonna kill me now.

He's not saying anything. Did I actually shut him up with-- hh no there it is, the "killer", those cold deep deep blue eyes looking at me as if I had just let him down. I did not! He just needs to stop looking at me like that and I may believe I didn't let him down... stop it... stop it... stop it!

Okay, I can't feel the stare anymore, he must've looked somewhere else, can't really teell with my eyes on the road. But I know he's not staring, my psychic powers may be weak, but I still can tell minor stuff like a killing glare switched to something else. He doesn't understand, he's not the father of a twentyone year old teenager who can't get around the idea that anarchopunk isn't a real way of life, he's seen him and all, Kagetsu knows we're friends, but he doesn't know about *us*.

And you try telling him his father is gay. Of course that'd seem like just tons of easy work for you because it's not *your* son, and you can't even begin to understand how complicated it is for me to do this since you always seem to take things so fucking lightheaded. I can't understand it, I mean, I could back when we were young, you were a pothead, I was a heroine addict... it all kind of made sense that we didn't care. But you got clean, and yet you kept that 'I don't give a damn' attitude.

Guess it's why I still love you.

Okay, nothing dangerous on the road, we should be there in five minutes, time to turn and see what he's doing. Hmm... just plain looking outside. Is he still mad? Never can tell, I mean, I know how he''l react both if is and I know there's a chance he isn't, I just don't know which is coming right now.

"Are you still mad?"

"Of course I am, you have no right to talk to me like that, you did heroine." yes, but my will power was stronger than yours I guess since I could get off it without the help of other people.

"I know, I know..." I never say what I think.

"I just can't believe you haven't told Kagetsu yet, he's twentyone, he probably has figured it out already." of course he hasn't, what do you know anyway?

"Can we talk about this while I'm not driving?" funny, I brought up the topic, he must be going nuts right now.

Still, he's silent. Good, I can concentrate now.

Why do I feel like I'm ignoring the obvious? Karin is the one who needs attention not me, I'm doing my whole absorb-you-into-me thing again. I'm such an arrogant, self-centered bastard, I'd hate me if I knew me, and I do, why again haven't I killed myself? Right, I don't hate myself, otherwise I wouldn't be such an arrogant, self-centered bastard. She's not dying anyway, why would she die now if she hasn't the last four times?

Oh crap... she *is* dying... Kagetsu didn't call me like he did because of a false alarm. Oh no... no no no...

I love her so much, why is she dying on me? Is it all some kind of sick joke to her? Is it like a game to her, in which she takes revenge on me being gay by dying?

Did I break her heart?

"I don't know..." oh crap, did I say that aloud? Did he hear me? He's definetly staring again, I can feel him. I did say it aloud... damned I can't believe it...

"What did you say?"

"We're here." and I'm so grateful that we are...

"No wait, that's not what you-- Itsuki don't get out yet!" I'm just walking to the hospital, I need to get there soon so I can... I don't have a clue of what I'm doing.

"What are you doing?" can't you gert a hint? Don't ask that...

"She's... she's... she's gonna die. She's... fucking dying on me..." oh good, now I'm crying... always the same wuss...

"Oh no, Itsuki, no no no..." he's taking me somewhere else, against a wall... oh I get it... he wants to talk in private... that's good... Why? Why? I cant, I can't help the sobbing...

"You have nothing to do with her disease Itsuki, you have to stop blaming yourself." oh, you're so beuatiful, I can't believe I was just arguing with you a moment ago... you're by far the best thing that ever happened to me, I can't imagine my life without you so please don't stop touching me, don't let go... I wish I could stop crying and sobbing but I can't...

Thank you so much, oh yes thank you so much... I don't want to let go, please don't let go, we don't have to go inside... just... we'll just wait little longer, just don't stop holding me... I need you so much...

"Are you okay? It's all gonna be hard Itsuki, it really is, so stay calm, you can't be this nervous, you have to calm down." Kiss me, just go on and do it, I need it, come on... do it... "Do you want me to kiss you?"

"Yes, please." oh yes... and so he does... the world is right again... everything makes sense...

No it doesn't. But it helps.

"Okay let's go."

"You sure."

"Yeah."

Okay, this feels better, I'm still sad, I'm still freaking nervous, but I think I'll be alright... of course I'm just supposing this. But I have a feeling things can't go any worse than they are, so I'll just have to face it all, because it's all happening to me. Yes it is, I don't care if it's arrogant and self-centered. Not anymore.

"What's the room?"

"The nurse said 306."

"Okay."

Uhm, that means three stairways, well two now... and according to the first floor rooms if I go right the door should be...

"How is she?" it *is* here isn't it? Oh yes, Kagetsu's right there, has he been crying? His eyeliner looks like it was running a while ago... "I came as soon as you called, it's a long way from Enjyu." he's not answering, he's just looking at me, what's wrong? Is Karin... oh...oh... why isn't she awake? She's not dead, I'm not late, I can't be late!

Calm down, Itsuki.

"Kagetsu? What's wrong? Something happened to Karin?" I can't help it, tell me!

Tell me!!

"Oh nothing... just... don't say that again."

"Say what?"

"Itsuki, is this the right roo...m? Hi."

"Matsuba? Itsuki, did he have to drive you here again?"

You just had to say it, didn't you? Don't ask that. Not now.

Please.

- Itsuki Kisawa - February 4th, 9:24 am - Muro City

 

[Blackjack Gabbiani]

Oooh...

Uh...basic mistake..."heroin" is a drug, "heroine" is a woman who does noble things.

And methinks there should be more room between scenes...

 

[~** Dee Aye**~]

You mean room like in not making every scene change so abrupt right? I tend to do that too much, not a lot. ;-; Now that I re-read it, it's pretty overwhelming more than fun. It becomes less comprehensive along the way . BTW, I'll edit the heroin thing, because I live in South America, Heroin and Heroine are spelled alike ("Heroína"), so I had my doubts on that, thanks for the clarification.

^^;;; Yay, you reply so fast!

 

[Blackjack Gabbiani]

dude, don't feel bad, native English speakers mix those around sometimes...

And yeah, that's what I mean, like more spaces between scenes, or one of these:

***

like that

 

[Timarelay]

Tis good ^_^ Very emotional and stuff. A bit confusing, trying to figure out who said what and who's talking to who, but otherwise, I like it ^^