Mr. Home Hardware, a song by a group from Newfoundland, Canada called Buddy Wasisname and the Other Fellers:
He's Mr. Home Hardware, he's Mr. Canadian Tire
He can't wait for the mail for to pick up those colourful flyers.
He's got all kinds of gadgets in a workshop that looks mighty cool
Mr. Do-It-Yourself with an arsenal of ten thousand tools.
If it rattles, he glues it, if it separates, he screws it
If it breaks off he glue-guns it on.
If there's a problem, he licks it, cause he's Mr. Fix-It
He loves it when something goes wrong.
He's got all kinds of rig-outs to keep himself physically fit
He faithfully uses them once then in the basement they sit.
He never questions or wonders if it's all just a scam or a fad
After one single workout wants to look like the man in the ad.
If it pedals, he'll try it, if it treadmills, he'll buy it
If it vibrates, he hands out the cash.
When his house gets too cluttered, his wife moans and mutters
And most of it's thrown out as trash.
He's got a vegetable garden that measures only twenty feet square
But he owns more garden equipment than the country of Zaire.
Super high-speed deluxe garden gadgets that stand to the test
And the latest in poisons to destroy undesirable pests.
If it wiggles he'll spray it, if it slithers he'll slay it
If it lays eggs it's Ambush or Raid.
He's proud of his harvest, he thinks that it's marvelous
Five dollars he's probably saved.
(interlude)
Now his greatest of passions is gathering up good fishing gear
To go out to the lake for one day every five or six years.
He'll tell you his efforts will result in some food on his plate
But we know he will never recover the worth of his bait.
If it sparkles he'll try it, if it glitters he'll apply it
If it rotates he's wildly impressed.
No matter what the price is, he loves those devices
And displays them all over his vest.
He's Mr. Home Hardware, he's Mr. Canadian Tire!
He's Mr. Home Hardware, he's Mr. Canadian Tire
He can't wait for the mail for to pick up those colourful flyers.
He's got all kinds of gadgets in a workshop that looks mighty cool
Mr. Do-It-Yourself with an arsenal of ten thousand tools.
If it rattles, he glues it, if it separates, he screws it
If it breaks off he glue-guns it on.
If there's a problem, he licks it, cause he's Mr. Fix-It
He loves it when something goes wrong.
He's got all kinds of rig-outs to keep himself physically fit
He faithfully uses them once then in the basement they sit.
He never questions or wonders if it's all just a scam or a fad
After one single workout wants to look like the man in the ad.
If it pedals, he'll try it, if it treadmills, he'll buy it
If it vibrates, he hands out the cash.
When his house gets too cluttered, his wife moans and mutters
And most of it's thrown out as trash.
He's got a vegetable garden that measures only twenty feet square
But he owns more garden equipment than the country of Zaire.
Super high-speed deluxe garden gadgets that stand to the test
And the latest in poisons to destroy undesirable pests.
If it wiggles he'll spray it, if it slithers he'll slay it
If it lays eggs it's Ambush or Raid.
He's proud of his harvest, he thinks that it's marvelous
Five dollars he's probably saved.
(interlude)
Now his greatest of passions is gathering up good fishing gear
To go out to the lake for one day every five or six years.
He'll tell you his efforts will result in some food on his plate
But we know he will never recover the worth of his bait.
If it sparkles he'll try it, if it glitters he'll apply it
If it rotates he's wildly impressed.
No matter what the price is, he loves those devices
And displays them all over his vest.
He's Mr. Home Hardware, he's Mr. Canadian Tire!
