TEEN: Driftveil Shore

[Karamazov]

((Special thanks to Kayi-Chan. If it weren't for you and your zombie-slaying skills, I wouldn't be able to publish this safely.))

Chapter 1: In which Hilda and Aurea are introduced

The seven cast members settled into their beautiful house (sponsored by MinerCorp.) by the shore of Driftveil City. They cast members were Hilda, Hilbert, Prof. Juniper, Ghetsis, Bianca, Cheren, and a Stunfisk.

"Alright," the director said. "Let's start interviewing! Come with me to the camera room."

Name: Hilda (nickname: Touki)
Age: 18
Occupation: Unemployed
Favorite Pokemon: Hypno

"Holy Arceus, my docs are above my head!" Touki screamed in a thick Nuvema Town accent.

Hilda had large, brown hair - it flowed like volcano lava. She wore a white shirt, blue Daisy Dukes, a trucker cap, and large boots. She also had a tan and tons of make-up.

"Anyway, I'm Hilda, but people call me Touki," she said. "It's from some Kanto-ese movie, it means 'pure.'"
"So, what brings you to Driftveil?" the director asked.
Hilda folded her hands on her lap. "Well, I came to catch a cut little Duckett, but I heard about this show, tried out, and bam!"
"Uh..so, whar are your interests?"
"I like getting tanned, tanned guys, and tanned Pokemon!"
"That's charming, really."
"I also like foreign culture. Driftveil is so much like that Kanta hole I went to when I was 5. Kanta, Sinney, Ho-oh, Jody - those regions have such amazing cultures."

Prof. Juniper pushed Touki aside and stole the director's attention.

Name: Aurea Juniper (J-WOWW)
Age: Unknown
Occupation: Professor of Pokemon
Favorite Pokemon: Minccino

"Yo, I'm Aurea!" she said, putting on an obnoxiously fake Driftveil accent. "But people call me J-WOWW because I'm a Juniper, and I 'WOWW' them!"
"Who really calls you that?" Touki asked as she left the room.
"Whatever, whatever!"

Juniper had a large, sloppy beehive hairdo. She was wearing a white tank-top with "DAISY CINO" written on the chest, and a green skirt. She had high heels, a tan, and tons of make-up.

"So, Prof-" the director began.
"J-WOWW."
"J-WOWW...What are your interests?"
"Well, you know, I, like, you know, like to stay young, alright? You probably couldn't tell, but I'm older than my 19-year-old looks leads you to believe."
"Right."
"I'm a professor, but I'm not a brain! I mean, I'm smart, but not nerd smart. My degrees arent, like, even real. But don't tell Daddy I bought them in Orre."
"Uh-huh."
"HOW DARE YOU ASSAULT ME!" someone screamed.

Touki ran into the room and slapped J-WOWW with Stunfisk.

"I could have gotten a job on Unova's Funniest Pokemon Videos, but I had to sign with RTV," the director sighed. "Living the dream, Michael. Living the dream."

 

[jda95]

Wow, that's such a funny concept you've got there. I can't believe no one had thought of it before!

Well the first chapter was funny and kept my attention. Keep it up!

 

[Karamazov]

Wow, that's such a funny concept you've got there. I can't believe no one had thought of it before!

Well the first chapter was funny and kept my attention. Keep it up!

Thanks!

Chapter 2: Hilbert "The Status Condition" and Cheren

As security guards pulled J-WOWW, Touki, and Stunfisk out of the room, Hilbert wandered in and sat down.

Name: Hilbert (nickname: The Status Condition)
Age: 19, yo!
Occupation: Assistant manager at a cellphone kiosk
Favorite Pokemon: Druddigon or Conkeldurr

Hilbert wore a trucker cap, a blue sweater-jacket, jeans, and running shoes. He had a messenger back, and brown hair and eyes.

"Hey, everybody!" Hilbert yelled into the camera. "It's me, The Status Condition! With a THE!"
The director, face buried in his hands said, "Tell us about why you showed up here?"
"I'm here to make love, not war," Hilbert explained. "I want to be part of a show, y'know? But I don't want to be causing no trouble, 'kay?"
"How...eurgh."
"I like battling, dancing, cooking, and Smogening girls all night long!"
The director's face froze. This was his life now, and he had to accept that.

A woman screamed off-screen.
"What's that?" Hilbert asked.
"MY HAIR'S STUCK IN THE DOOR!" Touki roared.
"She's using Screech, a-ha!"

Hilbert walked out to help her. A security guard placed Stunfisk on the chair.

"Is it my turn?" Cheren asked.
"Stunfisk," Stunfisk said.
Cheren ran into the room and sat on the chair, apparently not aware of Stunfisk.

Name: Cheren (nickname: Cherry-D)
Age: 21
Occupation: Disc jockey
Favorite Pokemon: Unfezant

"Check it," Cheren said, putting on sunglasses.
"Check what?" the disenchanted director responded.
"I'm Cherry-D...but nobody calls me that."
"And what made you show up, Cherry-D?" The director cringed at having ever uttered that last word.
"I wanted erryone to know 'bout my sick rhythms, yo. I have talent, and talent needs to spread its wings."
"Got any hobbies?"
"Battling, of course. When I'm not a DJ, I find myself to be an expert battler. Why, I bet I could beat Alder one day."
The director stifled a laugh.

Cherry-D walked out of the room, and Bianca walked in.

 

[farewell friend]

J-WOWW, LOL. That was quite entertaining! Interesting concept. Are you going to interview N?

 

[Karamazov]

J-WOWW, LOL. That was quite entertaining! Interesting concept. Are you going to interview N?

NO! >:I N doesn't have a good enough tan yet.

 

[LuxrayOfTheWild]

This is just full of win! A Pokemon version of Jersey Shore=Win!

 

[Karamazov]

Chapter 3: 3:

The director stared at the scars on his wrists. How old were they? How long have they been there? How long would they stay?

Name: Bianca (nickname: Bianca)
Age: 18
Occupation: Unemployed
Favorite Pokemon: Munna

Bianca's blond hair was done up in a beehive. She wore a white shirt underneath an orange vest, and had a modest white skirt that went down to her knees. She wore sensible, sturdy-looking shoes with green socks.

"Uh, um, hey!" she said nervously, waving at the camera. She had a very thick Nuvema accent.
"Hey!" the camera man responded.
"So why are you on the show?" the director asked, still staring at his wrists.
"Well, I wanted to do something with my life. To be honest, I don't know what my purpose in life is, and I thought I could try out for this show."
"Uh-huh."
"Um...I like apples, I have a mom and a dad, and my starter Pokemon was Snivy."
"Uh-huh."
"But Snivy seemed to be ashamed of me."
"Uh-huh."
"...And he ran off two months later."
"Yeppers."
"Are you listening to me?"
"Sure."
"Okay...So anyway, I tried to be a trainer. But every one of my Pokemon either ran away or died. Aside from Lillipup, but Lilly's at home with mom -" she cringed "-and dad."
"Okay."

The director wondered if he should go home that night. His wife said she was proud, but he knew it was a lie. She's a member of the Elite Four, she makes almost 10 times more than him. Maybe he was a failure as a husband as he was a Coordinator and-

"...and they had to surgically re-attach the tendons," Bianca said.
"Huh, what?" the director mumbled. "Sure, oh."
"I...You weren't listening...I just said that last bit to see if you were paying attention..."
"Uh-huh."
"And you...weren't!"
"Next person, please."

Bianca jumped up and started toward director. A security guard dragged her out of the room, much to her indignation.

Ghetsis wandered in and sat down.

Name: Dennis Gaycheese Harmonia (nickname: Ghetsis)
Age: 42
Occupation: Mayor of Striaton City
Favorite Pokemon: Gardevoir, Meloetta, Jynx, Hitmonchan, Kirlia, Ralts, or Gothorita

Ghetsis had long, green hair that was gelled so much that it stook up like a large crown. it was almost as big as Touki's hair. He had a weird monocle, a cloak that showed off his abs, a tan, and loafers. He didn't wear socks.

"All hair Lord Ghetsis!" Ghetsis said, raising the roof. "Soon you will ll bow before the might of my perfection!"
"And what brings you to Driftveil Shore?" the director asked.
"I want to spread the word of Team Plasma," Ghetsis said compassionately. "We only want what's best for out friends, the Pokemon."
"But you just said-"
"I was just yawning."
"That's a rather threatening yawn..."
"Weren't you a Coordinator in-"
"Alright, this interview is over."

Ghetsis smirked and walked out. After a few minutes, Stunfisk weakly slid out of the chair and followed him.

 

[Karamazov]

Chapter 4: Requiem Nightmare

The director entered his house with a sigh.

"Hi, honey!" his wife said cheerfully. "How was work?"
"Frustrating," the director confessed.
"Aw, care to tell me all about it?"

The two sat on the living room's biggest cough. The director rested his head on his wife's lap.

"I have to deal with these immature idiots for a whole season," he told her.
"You're involved with this project," he wife said happily. "I'm sure you'll have to deal with them for tons of seasons."
"What?"
"You'll make a horrible show like...that watchable, I just now it."
His wife ran her fingers through his hair.
"Honey?" he asked her. "Can I say something?"
"What?"
"You're my Roggenrola. I wouldn't be sane enough to do this if you weren't here."
He got up and kissed her. Her glasses slid down her nose and banged into his face.
"Heh," the director laughed.

His wife's Pokemon, a Cofagrigus named Carla, wandered in. She gave both of them hugs.
"Thanks, Carla!" the director laughed. "Good to see you, too."

Meanwhile, the housemates were partying.

"Whoo, Driftveil!" Hilbert roared into the cameera.
Touki and Ghetsis were on the couch, making out. J-WOWW was in a bikini and holding an Elixer, trying to steal Hilbert's focus. Cheren and Bianca were talking about a movie, but Cheren looked at her with indifference.
And Stunfisk was there.

"I wanna Smogon a girl!" Hilbert announced. "Guys, let's go clubbing! I know a place downtown, it's called Cold Storage."
"Sounds exciting," Touki said. "So chic a name."
"You can Smogon a woman," J-WOWW said flirtingly. "I'm single."
"Really?" Ghetsis asked. He pushed Touki aside and walked over to J-WOWW.
"You Basculin little creep!" Touki hissed.
"I don't want a girl; I want a woman."

Touki grabbed Stunfisk and was about to hit Ghetsis. Unfortunately for her, Stunfisk electrocuted her.