COMPLETE: Ebb and Flow (Tracey-centric, PG)

[Blackjack Gabbiani]

(Yes, this is a repost, but it's not in the back history and the Archives don't allow you to reply to reviews. Think of it as an "old classic")




"Does it get any easier?" I asked him, and he shook his head.

"...it never does. Never." He paused, disposing of the needle. "...I've been doing this for over thirty years, and every time stays with me..."

I look down at the prone Lanturn on the exam table. The trainer had caught it a little more than a month ago, and had it not been for a fateful battle with a strong Raichu, they would have been on the trail as usual.

Both trainers, the Lanturn's and the Raichu's, were in the living room, trying to comfort each other. Although it had been an accident, the Raichu will be taken away for a while, put under surveilance until it can be determined that it's safe to give back to the trainer.

I sigh. The professor will clean up, and it's up to me to talk to the trainers. My lower lip quivers as I head to the living room.

Lanturn's trainer stands. Her eyes are red and puffy, and she wipes her face on her sleeve before looking at me. "...he's gone?"

I nod slowly. "I'm sorry."

She blinks a few times. "...yeah...but it was for the best, right?"

"I'm afraid so." We had been through this before, when she made the decision to have it put down, but in times of trauma, the mind doesn't work like it usually does.

She sniffles, arms wrapping over her chest. The Raichu's trainer rises next to her, pulling her close. An instant bond, like those forged in the hell of a foxhole.

I had rehearsed the words in my mind, and had to force myself to say them. "It was over quickly. Lanturn didn't feel anything..." My voice is dry. I know if I show any emotion, I'll start crying.

She nods. "...can you do me a favor?"

"What is it?"

Gently pushing away from the other trainer, she sighs, wiping her face again. "...can I have Lanturn's pokéball back? I...I want to bury it near the river where I found him..."

"Of course." To ask for the Lanturn back, I knew, would be too traumatic for her.

She shivers again. "...please hurry, I want to get out of here as soon as I can."

"All right." I return to the lab, picking up the Lure Ball. Knowing its history, it feels so light, as if it only held a spirit.

Oak is still at the exam table, looking down at the Lanturn. "...this is the hardest part of our job, Tracey," he whispers.

I rest a hand on his shoulder, but cannot think of anything to say.

"Times like this make me work harder. Every new discovery, every new advancement..." He trails off, eyes falling shut.

I take the ball back to the trainer, and she and her companion leave without a word. With a sigh, I flop onto the couch, resting my hand on my forehead. Every trainer experiences the pain of loss sooner or later, in one way or another. I think about my Scyther, out on the preserve. He was rather on in years when I caught him, and it's only a matter of time.

I think the real reason we work harder is to distract ourselves from our own thoughts. I remember what he said about never forgetting any of these and I shudder. I don't know if I can take anything like that. But I know tomorrow, something will happen to draw me back in to researching.

It's like that river where the trainer is heading, all ebb and flow.

 

[bobandbill]

Bah, I'll review this, and something else later... if the forums didn't have a bug for a while eariler would have more time, but no matter.

I liked this though - short, but interesting. Like the concept, of the accidental death of a Lanturn by a Raichu - guess that Lanturn didn't have Volt Absorb, huh? Anyway, it's a good diea for a short one-shot, and was done decently - reactions from the characters themselves seemed realistic, which was the main thing that could go wrong with such a story, and The ending was good as well.

The 'weakest' part was the beginning - I think you could have drawn us more into the story there by leaving the mystery factor of what happened to have killed the Lanturn for longer, before revealing it. By the third and fouth paragraph it was revealed, which was a bit too early IMO,a nd some of the information could have been revealed later to keep us wondering for longer, thus more effect.

"...I've been doing this for over thirty years, and every time stays with me..."

A just-slightly confusing sentence, could be reworded to be clearer and easier to understand... rather minor though.

I look down at the prone Lanturn on the exam table.

Some more description here, of Lanturn, etc would be one way to extend the intro to let the mystery remain a bit longer as I said above, for instance.

Stiil, rather good though, and what I've said isn't glaring or anything. You did a good job here.
*goes to bed*

 

[Blackjack Gabbiani]

Well, there's also blunt force trauma, maybe an Iron Tail to the head.

And it's not really meant to be a mystery. The Lanturn's dead and that's all that really matters about what happened.

Thanks for the feedback!

 

[Ascaris]

A little shorter than your other fics, but just as good. The only thing that I didn't like was:

"Does it get any easier?" I asked him, and he shook his head.

"...it never does. Never." He paused, disposing of the needle. "...I've been doing this for over thirty years, and every time stays with me..."

These first two paragraphs are in past tense while the rest of the fic is in present tense. There's also a little confusion between tenses in later paragraphs. But prsent tense is never easy to write so...

All in all, an enjoyable,short one-shot.

 

[Blackjack Gabbiani]

Oh crud. It's been four years since I wrote it and I never noticed that. Hahaha.

Well, thanks for reading! And I'm glad you enjoyed it.