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Endings & Beginnings /Chapter Nine be up!\

āruscio

DENNNNNNNIS
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Endings & Beginnings is an Honorshipping fanfic, which means it is about Morty and Falkner of Johto in a romantic relationship. This story is set around the time of GSCHGSS.

Also, as a small note which barely influences the story, I think of "Tohjoh" as the Johto and Kanto continent, and long ago the Tohjohans, who are a lot like the Japanese, ruled Tohjoh, but adopted a new language and culture from the people of Hoenn when they crossed paths.

The stars in the TOC show how satisfied I was with that particular chapter, averaged out with the apparent readers' consensus. Here's a key for the ratings.

Ratings Key
★★★★★ 100% "Impeccable"
★★★★★ 90-99% "Excellent"
★★★★☆ 80-89% "Acceptable"
★★★☆☆ 70-79% "Substandard"
★★☆☆☆ 60-69% "Miserable"
★☆☆☆☆ 50-59% "Horrible"
☆☆☆☆☆ 0-49% "Failure"
★☆★☆★ "Rating Pending"

TABLE OF CONTENTS
Chapter One [scroll down]
★★★★★ 95% "Excellent"

Chapter Two
★★★★★ 100% "Impeccable"

Chapter Three
★★★☆☆ 75% "Substandard"

Chapter Four [same post as Chapter Three, scroll down]
★★★★☆ 85% "Acceptable"

Chapter Five
★★★★★ 95% "Excellent"

Chapter Six, Part One [Some parts NC-17]
★★★★★ 100% "Impeccable"

Chapter Six, Part Two [Some parts NC-17]
★★★★★ 95% "Excellent"

Chapter Seven
★★★★☆ 85% "Acceptable"

Chapter Eight
★★★★★ 90% "Excellent"

Chapter Nine
★☆★☆★ "Rating Pending"

Current Total Story Rating
★★★★★ 91.(1)% "Excellent"

Here's Chapter One:

CHAPTER ONE​

Autumn had descended on the continent of Tohjoh. From the sky came cold breezes which flowed through the cities and towns of the Kanto and Johto regions, tugging orange, dead leaves from the now sleeping trees, whom were preparing for the cold of winter. The streets of Ecruteak City were filled with these leaves, as autumn had finally descended down from Bellchime Mountain were it continued year-round. A lone blonde man, no older than twenty, ambled through the cobblestone lanes, and fixed his eyes on a falling leaf in front of him, severed from its parent tree.

Falling
Dropping
Descending
Quicker and quicker and

HACHOO!

C
R
U
N
C
H
!

The leaf fell underfoot of the blonde man, who stumbled forward as he sneezed. He looked down at the mess of crushed bits that had once been a leaf, almost sad. But he knew that all life had to end, and so had this leaf’s. After all, he lead a gauntlet of ghost wielding trainers, and besting his own ghosts meant the right to the fourth badge of the Johto league. Unfortunately, the air was unseasonably cold this autumn and had surprised the gym leader’s body, afflicting him with a light cold.

Oh well, he thought, moving on. He had places to be. The man pulled his purple scarf a bit tighter around his neck, and kept walking until he reached a large stone building. His violet eyes scanned a bronze plaque nailed into the grey stone next to the revolving doors.

Indigo League: Johto Division Headquarters
The beginnings of an adventure await!

Same old, same old, the man thought, having read the plaque nearly ten thousand times. He strolled up to the revolving door and pushed into the handle, and walked circularly into the building. Finally, some warmth! he thought, loosening his scarf and coughing lightly into his elbow. He walked over to the building’s reception desk.

“Hi, I’m here for the league wrap party,” he said, the secretary’s back turned. She held up one finger and then pointed to the telephone held between the side of her head and her shoulder.
“Thanks again! Okay, see you in spring!” She placed the phone into the reciever and spun about face on her purple office chair. “Hello, sir. I’ll need to see some identification.” The blonde fished in his pocket and pulled out a leather picturefold, handing it to the secretary. She gingerly opened in, revealing a shiny badge in the shape of a ghost and a picture of the blonde, in better health. Underneath was a trainer card, reading:

Morton Matsuba Wraithman
Gym Leader: Ecruteak City

“Oh, Morty! I didn’t recognise you!” She looked up, smiling. “You look a bit under the weather.”

“Well, Mary, it’s been colder than usual.” He sneezed into his scarf. “I’m not exactly used to it after my vacation in the Orange Islands.”

“It’s good that you used up those personal days, though, considering you’d never taken one before! The League would’ve thrown them out after this year, otherwise.”

“Yes, I’m glad I had all those built up. It was well worth the wait.” The blonde, Morty, took back his picturefold and placed it back in his pocket. “If you don’t mind, I’ve got a party to be getting to.” He smiled and looked at his watch.

“Oh! Yes, of course. And right on time! It’s down the left hallway-”

“And to the left, as always.” Mary the secretary chuckled.

“Oh, Morty. Well, have fun!”

“You too.” Morty followed the left hallway down to the end, and pushed open a sliding glass door. The muffled sound behind the door suddenly became clear as he walked into the large auditorium.

“-missing a gym leader, we’ll be getting the festivities underway!”

Morty raised his voice slightly as he strolled down the red suede carpet towards the hardwood stage. “Oh, don’t worry, I’m here, I’m here.” The announcerwoman looked over and saw the blonde walking slowly up the side steps, coughing into his hand.

“And not a moment to soon! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the final gym leader, Morty Wraithman!” An applause roared up from the crowd as Morty took his seat between Chuck, the fighting gym leader, and Whitney, the normal gym leader.

“And now, without further ado, please welcome the new champion of the four hundred and seventy second annual Indigo-Johto League: Ethan deSpencer of New Bark Town!” A young boy, not more than twelve years old, raced up the steps two at a time and jogged across the stage to the announcerwoman and the previous champion, Lance. The violet haired dragon tamer pulled a wrap of cloth out of his coatpocket and handed it to the boy.

“And now, let the league be passed.” Lance spoke the traditional words he had heard himself not but a year ago.

The boy unwrapped the cloth fold, revealing a shining lapel pin underneath. The crowd exploded in applause as he pinned it to his collar. He held up his hands in two v shapes, reveling and basking in the victory.

The boy’s mother raced onstage and picked up her son, holding him as he as she could, her eyes leaking tears of joy.

Morty watched all this from his seat with the other gym leaders. It was the same dull routine that they went through every year with every new champion. Still, it was a welcome relief that this year’s league was over. It was nothing but repetitively steamrolling down the unworthy trainers and occasionally being bested by one potential champion. Morty chuckled as he saw the boy cheering and laughing. Morty could’ve easily steamrolled that young hopeful, but he saw something special in him, so he played it easy and let the boy beat him. Now, he was the latest addition to the Hall of Fame.

Morty, laid back as usual, let his eyes wander down two seats, to their newest, blue haired, colleague: Falkner Hayato MacKayley, leader of the flying type gym of Violet City. He’d taken over the gym only three years ago from his father, George MacKayley, who had died a year ago in a glider accident. He was a strange young boy, no older than sixteen or seventeen, and always wore a traditional Tohjohan kimono and sandals. For most people, their only connection to the ancient Tohjohan forefathers was their traditional Tohjohan middle name. Falkner clutched his Poké Balls tightly, which contained his father’s prized bird Pokémon. He looked down at his feet, feeling sad and defeated.

Then again, he was the newest gym leader, and by tradition the newest gym leader was the bitch of the group, recieving all the young hopeful trainers and weeding out the best for the others to challenge.

Morty was suddenly blasted out of his gaze, which he had locked on the young gym leader, when he heard the announcerwoman’s voice come over the speakers. “Alright, everybody. Calm down! The festivities will continue in the ballroom across the hallway. Please exit in an orderly fashion after the League!”

All the gym leaders and the Elite 4 stood up in unison, and formed a line with Ethan deSpencer and his mother at the head, Morty Wraithman in the second half, and the young Falkner MacKayley at the tail end, clingly tightly to the red and white spheres in each hand. The League centipeded downstage and up the red suede walkway, and crossed through the hallway as Ethan shoved open the sliding door.

They entered the ballroom, a huge room, even larger than the auditorium, all lined with teak and mahogany. On the opposite wall, a large, golden rendition of the Johto League logo: a stylised IJL, standing for Indigo-Johto League. Both the guests and the league leaders milled about in the ballroom, with soft music playing in the background. Champagne flowed like water, all the League besides Ethan holding a slender glass. Even Morty, not the drinking type, accepted a glass from the maitre’d.

He sipped at the bubbly, rose colored liquid, as he saw little Ethan deSpencer running about, flashing his sixteen badges and league pin at anybody and everybody who would pay attention. He sighed, both happy for the boy and sad at the realisation that he’d have to go through this rigimarole again in the spring. Morty glanced over at the opposite wall. Below the golden league symbol was an open window, and in front of that window was a young man in a sky blue kimono: Falkner MacKayley. Morty strolled over and set his glass down on the wooden ledge. He leaned with his arms folded on the wood, next to the young man. Falkner had his hands out the window, one filled with birdseed, the other holding a young Pidgey, who picked inquisitively at the unfamiliar food. Morty started to open his mouth to talk, but Falkner cut him off.

“It was a year ago, tomorrow...” he said, his forward gaze unchanging. Morty knew what Falkner meant, and exhaled heavily.

“Falkner, your father was a great ma-”

“They, they never found his body...” Falkner started to whimper, and the little bird, not used to sorrow, took one last peck and flew away. Tears started to slowly dribble down Falkner’s cheeks. He dropped the birdseed into the grass and pulled his hands back inside, caressing his face and mussing up the locks of his greenish-blue hair. Morty exhaled again, not sure what to do or say. He saw salty tears drip through the cracks between his fellow gym leader’s fingers. “Why... why, dad?” Falkner whispered. “He said he would go out for just one more run... just one more. And... he never came back...” Falkner started to openly weep. He took one hand off of his face and started to punch the wooden sill. “It isn’t fair!” Falkner was red in the face and barred his teeth, clenched together.

Morty opened his mouth again, wrapping an arm around the young man’s shoulders. “Sometimes life isn’t fair, Falkner.”

“Why did he have to die?” Falkner, still in a saddened rage stared deeply into the violet eyes of the ghost gym leader. “Why do I have to live up to what he was?”

“Falkner, I can’t answer that.” Falkner turned his face back down to the wood.

“Of course you can’t... nobody can.” Morty moved closer to the young gym leader. Without warning, the blue haired teenager thrust himself around Morty, weeping into his black shirt and holding him tightly.

Morty was shocked from the sudden tight hug, and people turned around, hearing Falkner’s sobs. Morty ignored the eyes and slowly stroked the flying trainer’s cerulean hair. Somewhat instinctively, he started to hum the tune of a lullabye which he vaguely remembered his mother playing to him as a child. “It’ll be okay,” Morty whispered as Falkner pulled himself from his colleague’s chest.

“I’m sorry...” Falkner whispered, noticing all the eyes locked on the pair. He returned to the ledge, blushing. “I miss him so much...” his voice small and intimidated.

“We all do, Falkner.” Seconds passed withut any talking, as a cold breeze blew through the still open window. Falkner wiped his face in his sleeve.

“He was the top gym leader, and now I’m the bottom. The goddamn bitch of the league.”

Morty, still unsure of what to say, scooted closer, and whispered. “Well, look at it this way. You don’t have to deal with the cocky idiot kids for four whole months now.” Falkner smiled shyly and Morty draped an arm around his back. “I remember when I was the newest gym leader. It was only four years ago. This kid brought a Sentret and tried to tackle my Gastly to death. He had a lot to learn about type immunities.” Falkner chuckled, as he had many similar stories. The two young men stared deeply into eachother’s eyes. Falkner’s waterworks had stopped entirely, the last tears that clung to his cheeks now drying in the cool breeze.

Neither master trainer knew exactly what had happened in that moment, but before they could realize it their warm lips were brushing against one another’s. First a peck, then a dabble further and then a passionate kiss, sending sparks through their minds as all other thoughts were erased from their heads, with the last rays of the orange sun dipping over the horizon.
 
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Re: Endings and Beginnings: An Honorfic (Please read and review!)

Awww... nobody commented. Don't be shy! I don't mind criticism. Well, w/e. Here's Chapter 2, which is somewhat shorter.

CHAPTER TWO

“Oh, you should have seen the look on your face, Falkner.” Two young men, one blonde and tall, and one with blue locks and slightly shorter, were walking through the streets of Ecruteak City, their path lit only by moonlight. “As soon as you saw Whitney staring at us, you were red as a beet!” the blonde man chuckled. The blue haired man, Falkner MacKayley, shook his head as he walked. “Falkner,” the blonde groaned, “you need to lighten u-”

“Morty, you shouldn’t have kissed me.” Falkner kept walking forward, not even turning to talk to the man behind him, Morty Wraithman.

“Well, Mister MacKayley,” Morty said, doing his best to cheer up his friend, “I was under the serious impression that it was you who kissed me.” Falkner simply kept walking, his gait and gaze unchanging. “Falkner, you seriously need to lighten up. A kiss is a kiss.”

Falkner turned around on one foot and looked back at Morty. “Morty, you don’t understand.” Morty saw small teardrops form in the corners of Falkner’s eyes and frowned. The two men walked across the street and through the shinto gate which marked the exit out of the city.

“So,” Morty said casually, “Where are we walking to?” Trees appeared on all sides as they strolled into the forested Route 36. Morty stopped and looked around at the new surroundings. He liked walking through the moonlit forest at night. It was beautiful, as moonlight streamed through the spaces between leaves and branches, dappling white spots on their faces and clothing.

“Well, Morty,” Falkner said, still walking ahead, “I don’t know where you’re going, but I’m going home.” Morty sped up after his friend, and walked on his left. “I still think that kiss shouldn’t have happened, Morty.”

Morty looked at the curious young man. “Well, it sure helped you feel better, didn’t it?”

Falkner stopped, and Morty did too. “Morty, I lost my father only a year ago, and then I, ah-, I kiss-” He was stuttering for words.

“And I kiss you, yes, go on,” Morty found the words for him.

“But on the eve of my father’s death, Morty. This is what you don’t understand! You never could!” Falkner, suddenly angry, stomped on the ground as hard as he could, scaring Sentret out of their burrows. Tears leaked from his eyes again as he looked back up to his blonde friend. “I lose my only other parent left, who loved his son more than, than-”

“More than what?” Morty was worried for his friend, but playing shrink for Falkner was a strong order.

“Well, more than you can imagine!”

“I don’t know, I can imagine quite a lot.” Suddenly, Falkner turned away and started to sob. Morty rushed over to his friend, consoling, “Oh, gosh. Falkner, I didn’t mean it like that!” Mental note, Morty thought, Next time watch your goddamn tongue! The blue haired boy threw himself around Morty and nuzzled and weeped into his chest again. Morty, relieved for the redemption, hummed the same lullabye from before, and slowly rocked his sobbing friend back and forth, back and forth.

Beep! Beep! Beep! Morty looked at his watch. It read 0:00, midnight.

Falkner pulled himself from the friend’s chest again, and Morty hugged him as hard as he could, and whispered in his ear, “It’ll be alright, Falkner, it’s all gonna be okay.” Morty patted his friend on the shoulder and released him from the embrace. Morty balled his hand in his sleeve and wiped the tears off of Falkner’s face. The two men walked forward again, in total silence, as Morty wrapped his arm around his young friend.

Before long, they arrived at a large wooden cabin, with black shingles and a large bay window, surrounded by a grove of sycamore trees. Falkner fished in his pocket and pulled out a bronze key, and unlocked the door. “Home sweet home,” he said as he and Morty stepped through the threshold. Falkner flicked a switch and the dark house was lit. Falkner took off his overcoat and placed it on a hook next to the door. Morty did the same with his scarf, and both took off their shoes. “Please,” Falkner said, “sit down.” Morty took a seat at the short, square table which lay close to the ground. Morty sneezed, his sick body shocked by the sudden warmth. Falkner walked into the kitchen. “Do you want tea?”

“Please,” Morty said, coughing into his sleeve. The house was quite nice. A gas hearth crackled behind him, which had been turned on with the lights. After a few moments Falkner emerged from the kitchen holding two cups of steaming green tea, and sat next to Morty at the square table. Morty nodded in thanks, and sipped at the green liquid, which nearly burnt his lips and tongue. It was barely finished boiling.

“Can I tell you something, Morty?” Falkner turned to his blonde friend.

“Of course, Falkner. Anything.” Morty attempted to take another sip.

“I’m the only MacKayley left.” Morty choked slightly, sending the lava-tea down his throat, coughing and hacking. “Are you okay?”

“Yes Falkner, I’m fine.” Smooth move, Mr. Wraithman, Morty thought. He cleared his throat. “I don’t mean to probe, but... what do you mean that you’re the only one left?”

“Well,” Falkner hunched on the table. “My mother died when I was very young. I barely even remember her. She and my father where both single children, and so was I. And now, they’re both gone... And the MacKayleys are all gone except for one. Me.”

Morty’s heart dropped into his stomach at the thought of this sad story. He had aunts and uncles, and his mother was still alive. Morty felt guilty to have so much family, at least compared to Falkner. He almost wanted to loan family to Falkner, but he knew that was ridiculous. “Well,” Morty, again, wasn’t sure what to say. “I guess it’s good that you’re getting all this off of your chest, Falkner.”

“Yeah, it’s just that my dad and I were so close because all we had were eachother. Regardless that around everybody else, he was the dash and debonair George MacKayley, ten thousand times more interesting and influential than his son, at home we were just so close.”

Morty wrapped an arm around the young man, set down his teacup and scooted close to him. “Well, at least you were connected to whatever family you had in the end. My parents were always too busy for their son, and sent him off to boarding school. The closest thing we got to bonding was seeing the tuition check come in the mail every three months.” The two young men were gazing into eachother’s eyes again.

“Morty, can I tell you something?” Falkner's eyes had turned from pools of sadness into mysterious, unreadable orbs.

“Falkner, you can tell me anything.” Morty smiled at the blue haired boy.

“Morty, I think that, ah-... I think that-” Falkner stuttered for words once more.

“You know, or you don’t know. Don’t think.” Falkner blushed deeply.

“Morty, I... I love you.” Embarrassed, Falkner’s head shot down to the table. “No, I shouldn’t have said that.” He shook his head.

Morty stroked his friend’s blue locks. “What’s there to be ashamed over, Falkner?”

“I lost the one man who I had a connection with exactly a year ago, Morty. I can’t-”

“Fall in love?” Morty probed.

“It’s too painful, Morty. I can’t go back and risk losing somebody else.”

“What’s there to lose, Falkner? I’m here, and more importantly I’m here with you. It's good that you're finally expressing the true Falkner MacKayley.”

“But, Morty, if I lose you, I’m back at square one.”

“Falkner, you’re not going to lose me.” Morty took one arm and wrapped it around Falkner’s midsection, and slowly moved his face toward the young man. Falkner tried to push him away, to escape his feelings, but Morty just took his hand and held it tight. “Don’t think,” he whispered. Morty pressed his lips against Falkner’s, warm and sweating. The sparks from the simple touch were enticing, tantalizing. Morty ran his hands through Falkner’s hair as the kiss grew deeper. He tickled his tongue over Falkner’s teeth, and felt his young friend shiver as their tongues brushed past eachother’s. They breathed the same sweet air back and forth. Falkner, lightheaded, took a whiff of the outside air, but he much preferred Morty’s sweet breath to the stale, bitter scent of the tea.

Morty suddenly pulled back from Falkner’s lips, his cheeks blushed with a sweaty sheen. “Ah, shit... I’m sorry Falkner,” Morty fumbled out an apology. “I got carried away, I didn’t mean to-”

Falkner smiled as he cut off Morty, giving in to his true feelings. “What’s there to be sorry about?” Morty smiled and blushed even deeper as Falkner pulled him in by the collar for another delightful kiss, with the moonlight streaming through the windows, dappled by the sycamore trees.

EDIT: Fixed typos and added some details.
 
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Re: Endings and Beginnings: An Honorfic (Please read and review!)

I like it. Its very well written, and fantastically structured. I don't support Honorshipping, but this could change my mind. Keep writing!
 
Re: Endings and Beginnings: An Honorfic (Please read and review!)

Yayayay! Somebody likes my writing! I'm working on Chapter 3 right now (actually more like brainstorming :b), and will likely post it tomorrow or at the latest Tuesday.

Also, future chapters will likely be more like the length of Chap 2, and the reason Chap 1 was extra long was because it was the kickoff.
 
Re: Endings and Beginnings: An Honorfic (Please read and review!)

Okay. I was bored, so I decided to write two chapters instead of just one. Here are chapters three and four for your enjoyment.


CHAPTER 3​

Morty pulled his scarf from the hook next to the front door. “Well,” he said, casually glancing down at the watch on his right wrist, “It’s half past one in the morning. I’d better get going.”

Falkner was in the kitchen, preoccupied with finding bleach to clean his living room carpet, onto which a cup of green tea was earlier unceremoniously spilled while the two men embraced their true feelings for eachother with a passionate kiss. Falkner raised his voice and talked from the kitchen. “It’s a long way back to Ecruteak, Morty. And in the dead of night?”

“Well, yes, it’s not like I’ve got a bike or anything.”

Falkner popped his head out from the kitchen’s archway entrance. “And by the time you make it to Ecruteak it’ll be at least a quarter past two. No. You’re staying the night here, with me.” Falkner yawned and returned to his search, ransacking the kitchen cabinets.

Morty set his scarf back on the hooks and took of his shoes, and helped his new boyfriend search for the magical dissappearing bleach. After more than twenty minutes of searching through every last nook and cranny in the kitchen, the two men conceded defeat. “Well, what’re we going to do about that now?” Morty stared at the yellow-green stain on the white living room carpet and frowned.

“Considering it’s almost two, I’m going to bed,” Falkner started down the hallway. “Don’t worry about the tea, Morty. We’ll just have to run to the store tomorrow.” Both men froze. They’d forgotten what tomorrow was: the one year anniversary of Falkner’s father’s death. They’d been too caught up in their sudden realized love for eachother that all sorrow had slipped from their minds. Morty turned and walked slowly from the living room and down the hallway to his friend, and placed his hand on Falkner’s shoulder.

“So,” Morty said, looking at the four doors around him, “Where am I staying?”

“Oh, well, you’re staying with me in my room.” Falkner blushed as he opened the bedroom door. He’d thought that would’ve been obvious.

“That’s fine, Falkner,” Morty looked at his boyfriend, who looked uncomfortable. “What’s wrong? If you’re not comfortable with me staying in the same room, I can stay somewhere else.” Morty saw a door on his left which looked like a nice, inset door, just like the one on Falkner’s bedroom. He turned the knob and pushed the door open. “Is this a guest ro-...” Morty trailed off. Everything in the room was coated with a thick layer of grey dust. It looked like it hadn’t been touched in a year. When Morty looked above the perfectly made queen size bed and saw a photo of a handsome blue haired man in his forties, he realized that it hadn’t. This must have been his father’s room.

Morty shook in the sudden understanding, stepped backward out of the doorway and deftly closed the door as quietly as he could. He spun around, hoping that he hadn’t been caught treading into forbidden territory. Falkner was standing in the doorway of his own room, staring up at the blonde man, tear droplets forming in the corners of his eyes. “M-Morty,” Falkner’s voice was shaky. “Please d-don’t open that d-door again.”

Oh shit, look what you’ve done now, Mr. Suave, Morty thought. He placed his arm around Falkner. “I promise I won’t, Falkner.” Morty wiped the tears from the corners of Falkner’s eyes and gave him a tight hug. The two men entered Falkner’s bedroom, and Morty looked around at the accomidations.

“Well,” Falkner’s voice was now back to its normal, indifferent state. “It isn’t much, but we can make do.” Morty’s eyes wandered down to the queen size bed, which was spread with a duvet covered in a Pidgey design.

What less to expect from the flying type leader? Morty thought. Falkner sat down on the bed and so did Morty. “So, where am I sleeping?”

Falkner smiled. “The bed’s big enough for two, isn’t it?”

Morty blushed. “I didn’t bring any pajamas, though. I didn’t plan on spending the night here.”

“Oh, please,” Falkner mused, as he stood up from the bed and walked over to his bureau. After a few seconds, he pulled out a pair of blue and yellow fleece pajamas and tossed them over onto the bed. “See if those fit you.”

This kid’s good, Morty thought. It may be a ploy for me to take off my clothes, but at least he’s clever and classy about it. Morty shed his black shirt and white pants and pulled on the soft pajama shirt and pants. The gold and blue somewhat reminded him of an outfit he wore in his first few years of being a gym leader. “A perfect fit!” Morty smiled.

Falkner pulled on his own pajamas, another Pidgey design, presumably to match the duvet. He flopped onto the bed and pulled himself under the covers. “Come on, Morty. It’s almost 2:15 now. I’m getting tired.” Morty was somewhat shocked at how quickly his new boyfriend could switch his emotions around. Only a few minutes ago, he was almost crying. Now, he was taking his first dabs at romantics. He needs some practice but he does have the charm, Morty thought. It was obviously his first attempt. Nevertheless, he climbed into the bed and pulled the duvet over himself.

“Good night,” Morty said, and Falkner pulled the chain of his bedroom lamp, shrouding the room in darkness. At first, the two boyfriends kept to their own sides of the bed. But after a while, Falkner turned himself over in the covers and scooted close to Morty. He didn’t know if the teenager was asleep or still conciously awake, but Morty wrapped his arms around Falkner and spooned his young boyfriend, nuzzling his nose into his fragrant blue hair as he fell asleep.

CHAPTER 4​

Morty awoke as he felt Falkner slowly slipping from his arms, trying carefully not to wake the ghost gym leader. Morty loosened his grip, curious about where the young man was going. Falkner shuffled across the room to the door in his Pidgey pajamas. He carefully turned the doorknob, trying to make as little noise as possible, and nudged open the door, slipping out. Morty, still lying in the bed, heard another door open in the hallway, and what he thought were ladder steps. Where was the blue haired boy going?

Once the coast was clear, Morty sat up in bed and looked at the art deco clock on the opposite wall. It was 8:35, and sunshine streamed through the window, tinted by the light blue drapes. He got up and walked across the room, opening the door and stepping into the hallway.

Of the four doors which surrounded Morty, only one was ajar. It wasn’t inset like the other three, the third one Morty guessed was a bathroom. No, the door that was cracked open was narrow and outset from the wall, and opened outwards like a hall closet. Morty grabbed the side of the door and gingerly pushed it fully open. Inside there was nothing but a metal ladder which went up into the ceiling, ending in a hatch. What’s this? Morty thought. He carefully stepped onto the ladder’s rungs and ascended upwards as quietly was possible, and pushed open the wooden hatch.

The cold air of an autumn morning suddenly blasted in Morty’s face. Was this some sort of roof entrance? Morty resisted the urge to sneeze from the sudden change in temperature. He pulled himself up onto the wooden floor of this mysterious room. He stood up and looked around: the “room” was filled with bird perches, feeders, and birdbaths. The room was sheltered on one half by the roof, the other half totally open, which limbs from the sycamores sticking inside. Young Pidgey and Spearow were playing games on the perches and flapping back and forth, racing to see who was the fastest of the new fliers.

“Hello, Morty.” Morty shook when he heard his name from behind him. He flipped around, and there was Falkner MacKayley, smiling and holding a pile of birdseed and a young blue and red bird in his hands.

“Damnit,” Morty said, laughing, “you scared the hell of of me, Falkner.”

“Look at this little bird,” Falkner said, grinning from ear to ear. “It’s a Taillow.”

“Don’t those come from Hoenn?” Morty was looking curiously at the unfamiliar bird.

“Yes. It’s certainly a long way for he and his family to come. They don’t even migrate this time of year. I wonder why they’ve come here in the middle of autumn.” The little bird hopped from Falkner’s hands and flew a short distance into Morty’s hair. Falkner chuckled.

“Whoa! What’s he doing?” The little Taillow took bunches of golden hair and started aligning them into neat rows. “Ow! Watch it!”

“I think he’s practicing his nestmaking skills.” Falkner giggled at Morty’s obvious discomfort. He held out a hand and the little Taillow jumped into his palm. Without warning, another large red and blue bird flew into the avery. It called to the little baby bird, its son. “Time to go, buddy,” Falkner said, nudging his talons to slightly. The bird took off from Falkner’s hand and onto its father’s back, who then turned and nodded in thanks to the bird keeper. Then, the father bird spread its wings and flew off into the orange forest.

“So, is this the go-to place for all the birds in the area?” Morty asked. It was like a playground for the little ones, who practiced their flying with their friends, while their parents watched from afar in the branches of the trees.

“I get birds from all over Johto. I know most of the bird parents, and they let their children play here because they know they’ll be safe.” Falkner raised his eyebrow. “So, Mr. Sherlock Holmes, why did you follow me up here?”

“Well, I felt you getting out of bed, and curiousity took over from there.” Morty shivered and sneezed into his sleeve. “It’s cold out here, let’s get inside.” Falkner nodded and pulled open the wooden hatch, and they both descended down the latter and into the warm house. Falkner wandered into the kitchen and Morty followed.

“So, what do you want for breakfast? I don’t really have a lot, but I’m the host so I have to share.” Falkner opened a cabinet and shuffled through it. “I’ve got natto or some leftover miso soup we could reheat. I could always make a pot of rice too.”

“Very traditional, MacKayley-san,” Morty chuckled. “Rice is fine with me.” Falkner nodded and pulled out a bag of jasmine rice, and started a pot of water boiling. He poured out two cups of green tea and brought them over to the table, and sat next to Morty. “This’d better not be as hot as last night. I almost burned my lips off.”

Falkner chuckled as he handed him the cup. “Don’t worry, Morty, it’s not nearly as hot.” Morty sipped at the tea cautiously, which thankfully was only hot enough to warm him from the inside out.

Falkner and Morty talked about everything and anything over breakfast that morning. Morty had come from a very rich family of bankers, who funded some of the most ambitious projects in Johto’s history, such as the Magnet Train and the Radio Tower. Falkner, however, came from a long line of birdkeepers, who had also tinkered with some of the first feasible designs for hangliders so that they could fly with the birds. Morty revealed that he had dated other guys before, while this was Falkner’s first time dating. The only time when they stopped talking was when Morty noticed starch dribbling down the sides of the pot on the stove behind them.

“Ah, Falkner, you might want to check on your rice.” Falkner rushed over, red faced and embarrassed about screwing up something as simple as rice. He walked back over with two bowls, steaming with rice fresh from the pot. It was a little crunchy in some parts, a little mushy in others, but it was still made with love in mind, and that’s all Morty cared about.

Three hours later, Falkner was in the shower, and Morty was getting dressed in Falkner’s bedroom, both preparing for a day out. Alright, Morty thought, This is the perfect time to do a little investigative work. Morty pulled on his white pants and black pinstripe shirt, and tied his headband across his forhead. He climbed on top of the headstand of the bed and peeked atop the oak wardrobe. Like a ninja, he strikes! Morty thought, the little kid deep inside him coming out. His eyes scanned the open space, only about two inches clearing. He spotted a small, brown leather book, and nudged it into his hands.

What do we have here? he thought. The pages of the book were yellowing, and it looked to be hand sewn. Morty sat himself on the edge of the bed and opened it up, revealing what seemed to be the words of a secret diary. He read the latest entry datemarked two days before.

-

A family of Swellow came to the avery today. The ancients say their coming signals good fortune to come soon. They have a little son, whom I’ve named Nestor. He seems to like me, but I wonder why the birds came here two days before the first anniversary of my father’s death? How does that signal good fortune?

A little bird came
Bringing fortune; why near the
awful day?

Maybe love will find me a year after it abandoned me. But, if so, why did it have to wait so long? Is he going to come to me and whisk my sorrow away? Tomorrow is the day when I’ll see him again, but then again he’ll be two seats against me, away from the pet bitch of the Johto leaders.

-

Below was a sketch of two faces carressing eachother, one which he immediately recognized to be Falkner, and the other he immediately recognized as himself. They were staring deeply into eachother’s eyes, the way that all lovers do before they kiss. Morty felt butterflies in his stomach as he read the words and scanned the careful, artful pencil strokes of the sketch. Falkner had secretly loved him all this time?

Morty didn’t have time to ponder this thought, as he heard the sound of running water stop behind him. He jumped up onto the bed and shoved the book back into its place, and exited the room quietly just as Falkner came out of the bathroom across the hall.

“Hello, handsome,” Falkner said, and Morty smile and gave him a quick kiss on his still wet lips. Falkner suddenly sounded very serious, yet still stuttery, when he finished the kiss. “I-I’ll be ready to go in a f-few minutes.” He crossed the hall into his room and shut the door.

Morty sighed and walked into the living room, taking a seat on the couch. He knew what was coming next, and he didn’t know if he would like it.
 
Re: Endings and Beginnings: An Honorfic (Ch 3&4 are up!)

Well the fic is certianly interesting I'll give you that :)

The only problem for me is that they just seem to be shorhorned into relationship very early. I feel like there's some backstory to do with a previous fling between the pair which we're not being told or something. Also I thought the scene in whch Morty deides to spend the night was a bit clumsy and needd to be more sporadic.

My favourite bit was the opening few pargraphs of chapter one here the scene is described, the metaphors are so artistic. There's also some good laughs thoughout the fic as a whole so far such as this bit in the 1st chapter:

Like a ninja, he strikes!

But yes, please keep writing, I want to see where this goes ;)
 
Re: Endings and Beginnings: An Honorfic (Ch 3&4 are up!)

It's cute. I can't wait for chapter 5 to be posted! XD I love the way this was written. I think we all want to see what happens next. XD
 
Re: Endings and Beginnings: An Honorfic (Ch 3&4 are up!)

Quite interesting and well written. Something tells me this will end in tragedy.
 
Re: Endings and Beginnings: An Honorfic (Ch 3&4 are up!)

YES! PEOPLE ARE READING MY FIC! **beaming**

Anyway, yes, I feel that they were sort of thrust into a relationship, but I plan to expand with a spin-off which is Falkner's diary written full on. It'll explain a lot, but I want to finish E&B before I start a prequel.

And yes, Chpater 3 is horrible. I wasn't even going to write that part of the story at first, but I couldn't think of a better way to segway into chapter four. It was cheaply and sloppily written because all I could think about at that point was plot ideas for Chapter 4. I might redo it in in the future.

Currently, I'm experiencing writer's block with Chapter 5, so it might not be up for a while, so be patient. But, I can tell you one thing, this is where they meet Eusine, who is Morty's ex.

To hold you over, here's the etymology of the surnames I gave them.

Wraithman: Wraith is an archaic word for ghost, and names ending in -man generally mean master of or controller of. Controller of ghosts. Perfect for Morty.

MacKayley: Sir George Cayley was an English(?) inventor who made some of the first practical gliders. Falkner's dad is named after him. Mac- names mean son of, so MacKayley would mean the son of Kayley. And since George MacKayley the parallel of George Cayley, Falkner is essentially Cayley's son.

Eusine's surname. Read at your own risk! Will be 'officially' revealed in chap 5
Myreson: A myre is a dark, murky mysterious place. And Eusine is titled Mysterious Man. Makes sense.

EDIT: Nice try GZ. Morty just has a goddamn cold, not ICOD. I personally hate that cliche.
 
Re: Endings and Beginnings: An Honorfic (Ch 3&4 are up!)

What's this? E&B not on the front page? Heresy!

Sorry for the wait, folks! But the next installment is finally ready!

Drumroll please!

PLLLLLLEASE WELCOME, IN THE CREATIVE CORNER, CHAAAAAAPTER FIIIIIIVE!

CHAPTER FIVE​

“Are you ready for this?” A blonde man and his blue haired companion stood in front of a shinto style gate, built in days long past. It had been untouched since the day its poles were pounded into the hard packed earth. At the highest point of the gate, in ancient Tohjohan writing, was a poem which read:

Here lie our brothers
Our friends and our forefathers
Through their burnt ashes
They sing; in their bell, hearts ring
Forever and ever on.

The blonde man slowly read the ancient words enscribed on the stone gate. He lay his arm around his young friend and held him tightly, their bodies warm and welcoming against the unforgivingly cold and crisp autumn morning.

Through the gate lay a field, surrounded by sloped hills of lavender and heather whose colorful blooms were falling from their stalks. Rolling autumn winds had gently pushed all clouds from the sky, leaving nothing but a wide expanse of blue sky. The breezes slowly coaxed dead leaves from their sleeping trees, which drifted lazily down, the orange leaves constrasting sharply against the purples and pinks of flowers which fell from the hills. The field was crossed by a single creek, which curved and flowed through the field in a ribbon-like shape.

A single broze bell lay exactly in the center of the large field, surrounded by a stone column dome. The bell was controlled by an amazing mechanism built by the ancients that made it ring twice daily at noon, within a second’s accuracy. The tops of the columns were covered in Tohjohan writing, which gradually turned into modern Aruscian writing as newer enscriptions were carved into the grey rock. The field was also littered by tiny stone squares, each with its own enscription. It was a graveyard, and within the graves were the ashes of those passed on, cremated in accordance with the ancient Tohjohan tradition.

The blue haired boy didn’t respond to his friend for several seconds. “Morty,” he finally said, “I want you to come with me.” The blond man, Morty, nodded and they walked forward through the gate and up the cobblestone pathway which cut the graveyard in two. They both knew where they were going, as they had both attended the funeral one year ago.

The blue haired boy, Falkner, clenched tightly around his friend as they approached an insignificant-looking black gravestone, which still shone and gleamed in the light of the morning sun. Carved into the black stone were these words:

Here lies
GEORGE MASAHARU MACKAYLEY
The Father of Modern Aerogliders and Leader of the Violet Gym for Twenty-Four Years
Born Sestomese 25th, 107 Post Burning
Passed Aktomber 1st, 149 Post Burning

Immediately to the left was another gravestone, this one a light grey color. It didn’t shine in the sun, and it showed signs of serious wear. It had been here for much longer. It read:

Here lies
SARAH-ANN AYAMEKO MACKAYLEY
She passed bringing life into the world. One life wilts as another blooms.
Born Firstember 14th, 106 Post Burning
Passed Sevtober 32nd, 133 Post Burning

Morty double took at the inscription on the small grey stone. Sevtober 32nd was Falkner’s birthday. A realization suddenly hit his senses: Falkner’s mother had died when he was very young, in fact only seconds old. In childbirth. Morty felt his heart drop at this new development. Falkner stirred in Morty’s arm, and Morty released him.

Small teardrops glimmered in the light of morning, as Falkner fell out of his friend’s hand and onto his own knees. His eyes were filled to the brim with shining tears as he kissed a small bundle of bright flowers and set it gingerly between the two stones. Morty kneeled next to the young man and placed an an arm around him. Falkner wrapped himself around Morty and slowly cried.

This time, Morty knew what to do. He pulled Falkner close to him and onto his lap, and embraced him tightly, slowly rocking back and forth. Falkner sobbed into the black elbow of Morty’s shirt.

Suddenly, the silence was broken.

CLLLANGGG!

The bronze bell crashed and rang through the entire cemetery. Both men were startled by the sudden sound, and looked up to see a single man standing in the bell’s dome, brown haired and wearing a purple suit. He held his ears and looked as if he were in pain.

“What in the name of...” Morty whispered to himself, trailing off. He eased Falkner off his lap and stood up, and helped the still shaking Falkner get to his feet. And then...

CLLLANGGG!

The bell crashed again, and the brown haired man stumbled out of the dome, his teeth clenched and eyes shut tight. Morty started to dash down the cobblestone path towards the dome. Falkner didn’t move. “Come on!” Morty hollered back, “He might need help!” Falkner started an slow jog down the path after his boyfriend, his eyes still dribbling with tears.

Morty arrived at the dome first, and found the brown haired man lying at the base of one of the dome’s columns. His eyes were still shut and his teeth were still clenched, and it looked as if he was trying to get to his feet. Morty held out his hand and the mysterious man took it, pulling himself to his feet. He began to mutter. “Thanks, miste-” The man opened his eyes and saw who had helped him up. “Morty?!” His dazed look was replaced with one of shock.

“Well, look who it is...” Morty smirked and patted the man on his back. Falkner came rushing onto the scene, his eyes now clear but his cheeks covered in the dried remains of salty tears.

“Sir? Do you need help?” Falkner asked the man.

“Oh, no, I’m quite fine.” He seemed slightly annoyed by his new companions. “I’m sorry, have we met before? You look familiar...” the man stuck out his hand again, and Falkner shook it jerkily. “Eusine Myreson. And you are?”

“Falkner MacKayley.” The brown haired man, Eusine, was suddenly taken aback a bit. He then chuckled.

“Oh! You must be the gym leader from Violet!” Eusine smiled.

Morty crossed his arms and glared at Eusine. “So, Eus, what brings you all the way out here?”

“Oh, well,” he stumbled with his words a bit. He seemed enthused. “Well, I had heard on the, uh, the radio that there was a sighting between Ecruteak and Goldenrod, and of course the only landmark with any connection between those cities is this, this graveyard... here.”

Falkner stuck his hands in his pockets and turned to Eusine. “A connection to what?”

Eusine turned around quite quickly and a single tawny lock sprung up in the front of his hair. “I’m so glad you asked, Falkner!” Falkner twinged a bit at hearing his own name. He didn’t like when people he had just met used it. “Ever since my childhood I’ve dreamed of finding a beast of legend. The holy of holies, some might say. The beast of the north wind: Suicune!”

Falkner looked shocked for a moment, and then turned back to his inquisitive glare. “And what kind of connection does Suicune have to this- ah... this place?”

“Well, a long time ago, back when the Tohjohan warlords still controlled Johto, there was a cult of the followers of Ho-Oh. They built this place as a final home for the ashes of all the Tohjohans, even from Kanto and Otosho. But after the Great Exchange with the Hoennese, it fell into disrepair. Nobody was buried here for four thousand years, until the Great Burning almost fiften decades ago.”

“When Suicune, Raikou and Entei were created.” Morty chimed in, not knowing if Falkner was totally familiar with the legend.

“Right! And one of the first places the beastly trio went after they escaped was here, sensing thier people's disconnection to tradition. Raikou, the lightning beast, repaired the bell and restored the dull headstones to make them shining and new. And the bell rung again for the first time in forty centuries as Entei, the blazing beast, cut back the overgrown plants that squandered the ancient graves. But Suicune, the most powerful and graceful beast, purified the sacred water and revived the dying fields of lavender and hather. The people of Goldenrod and Ecruteak found this field, following the ringing, hidden in a grove of lavender, and took up the ancient tradition and buried the dead here. And now, it’s been almost a hundred and fifty years!” Eusine beamed with enthusiasm as he went on with his elaborate legends and theories.

Falkner turned to Morty. He gritted his teeth and whispered sharply. “This guy’s a lunatic! How do you know him?”

“We were good friends in childhood.” Morty looked down at his feet. “A couple years ago he and I were dating...” Morty blushed. “But he left me to go on his insane quest to find his precious Suicune.”

“Well, at least you knew his true priorities afterwards.”

“He puts his obsession in front of his care for others, even in front of himself.”

“Then why the hell are you still friends with him if he’s so, so-”

“We’re not still friends. I gave him up years ago. It’s just that he was my best friend and even though he doesn’t have time for somebody else in his life, he still expects me to be his buddy.”

“Then why put on such a façade?”

“Because he goes apeshit at the drop of a hat! He doesn’t give two shits about anything but Suicune, but he’ll go really far to try to defend his crazy beliefs.” Morty gritted his teeth and raised his head. “Trust me on that.”

“Well, I’m glad you found somebody else.” Falkner chuckled and wrapped his arm around Morty.

“-and he was like, this far away! I can’t believe it...” Eusine suddenly realised that his companions weren’t paying attention. He blushed. “Sorry... I can be a bit, ah, long winded at times.”

“I can tell.” Falkner plainly said. He wasn’t being friendly to anybody who would give up a relationship for a crazy obsession, even if the other side of said relationship was his current boyfriend. “If you don’t mind, Mr. Myreson, we’ve got places to be.”

“Oh! Yes of course! I’m sorry for holding you!” Eusine blushed again and stepped aside from the cobblestone path, holding out his arms in an ‘after you’ gesture.

“See you around, Eus.” Morty smiled at his ex-boyfriend and then stepped forward with his current one, strolling down the pathway. “So,” he said to Falkner, who held his side, “where are we walking to?” They passed the row of graves which contained Falkner’s parents and Morty placed his arm around Falkner and patted his shoulder.

“Anywhere but here.” Falkner kept his gaze unchanged. The electronic beep of a Pokégear phone card rung several steps behind them.

“Hel- What? The Ilex Forest?” Eusine jabbered through his phone next to the bell dome. “Alright! Meet me there, I’ll be right on it!” Speedy footsteps came racing towards Falkner and Morty, and they yielded aside for Eusine to come racing up the cobblestones, his white velvetine cape fluttering behind him. Eusine sprinted through the shinto gate and turned south, going as fast as his feet would take him.

“You see why we aren’t together anymore?” Morty chuckled.

“As sure as a Pidgey has wings, Morty.” Falkner laughed and sighed as they passed through the shinto gate, heading north without a worry in the world.
 
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Re: Endings & Beginnings (Chapter 5 is FINALLY up!)

You seem to be a new writer and your tallents are high. You justy need a little more work and then you will be a exalent writer.
 
Re: Endings & Beginnings (Chapter 5 is FINALLY up!)

You seem to be a new writer and your tallents are high. You justy need a little more work and then you will be a exalent writer.

Thanks! I'm not a new writer though. I have tons of fics under mah belt, and this is the first one I'm putting here.

It would be helpful if you specified which areas I need to improve upon.
 
Re: Endings & Beginnings: A Romance of Honor (Chapter 5 is FINALLY up!)

This was a nice chapter and its clear just from the month & year names (Sevtober, Post Burning) a long with the explanation for the latter that you've put a lot of thought into this, however, a few questions popped up in my mind:

1.) You're fic says that the Brass Tower burned down almost five hundred years ago. By the time of pokémon Crystal (and by extnesion HGSS) it is stated that the Brass Tower burned down 150 years ago, so Morty and Falkner could not possibly still be alive ~350 years later. Is this an error or a nod to the fact that mythology is sometimes inspired by real life events hat get spun out of proportionin various ways by chinese whispers?

2.) You mentioned that Suicune basically came along to the decrepit cemetary and made everything shiny and new again, just by passing through it. This doesn't really fit with the lore about Suicune, at least, not from anything I've heard. If the field contained a huge lake nd you didn't mention the headstones bcoming suddenly polished I'd be more willing to believe but what you described seems closer to something Shaymin would do (CoughCoughFloaromaCough)
 
Re: Endings & Beginnings: A Romance of Honor (Chapter 5 is FINALLY up!)

Actually, GZ, your first question could be explained that Morty and Falkner are reincarnations of these people that died in the Brass Tower. ie; "You've always been the caretaker, Jack. You always have."
 
Re: Endings & Beginnings: A Romance of Honor (Chapter 5 is FINALLY up!)

Actually, GZ, your first question could be explained that Morty and Falkner are reincarnations of these people that died in the Brass Tower. ie; "You've always been the caretaker, Jack. You always have."

What, you mean the pair are predestined (possibly by deity-like pokémon which took pity on them) to be continually incarnated, meet, fall in love, grow old together, die and do it all over again because of that tragic accident lo those may years ago?

that's too beautiful for words <3
 
Re: Endings & Beginnings: A Romance of Honor (Chapter 5 is FINALLY up!)

It also means they're doomed to die in a fire. Also, this story could have looped numerous times in the past before Morty and Falkner themselves appeared. What if this is the last instance of the loop?
 
Re: Endings & Beginnings: A Romance of Honor (Chapter 5 is FINALLY up!)

It also means they're doomed to die in a fire. Also, this story could have looped numerous times in the past before Morty and Falkner themselves appeared. What if this is the last instance of the loop? The dialouge from my earlier post is taken from Steven Kubrick's The Shining.

It doesn't have to be exactly like the shining (which I have seen, btw). Maybe they could be doomed to repet the cycle until they get it right (i.e. grow old and die together peacefully) but until now something's always gone wrong, like in Brokeback Mountain where-

Jake Gyllenhall is murdered by homophobics
 
Re: Endings & Beginnings: A Romance of Honor (Chapter 5 is FINALLY up!)

Or, it could simply be that one breaks away from the other, making their very existence a creul joke waiting to be told over and over again. Maybe as more Morties and Falkners are created, the chances of them stopping the cycle get lower and lower until it becomes infinite, or even stops because it becomes so likely one of them will lose interest in the other or die that they do not meet. Once again, this could be the last pair of Morties and Falkners, they may break the cycle.

Plus, I think that Brokeback Mountain is a stupid movie. If you're stuck in the wilderness, your mind breaks. It's not love, it's madness.

I just noticed, the author ships Eusine x Morty/Falkner. Essentially, Eusine is the person designed to keep the cycle going, being the one who splits the two up by making them become suspicious of eachother.
 
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Re: Endings & Beginnings: A Romance of Honor (Chapter 5 is FINALLY up!)

1.) You're fic says that the Brass Tower burned down almost five hundred years ago. By the time of pokémon Crystal (and by extnesion HGSS) it is stated that the Brass Tower burned down 150 years ago, so Morty and Falkner could not possibly still be alive ~350 years later. Is this an error or a nod to the fact that mythology is sometimes inspired by real life events hat get spun out of proportionin various ways by chinese whispers?

Oh fuck. That is a serious motherfucking error on my part. Thanks for pointing it out! I could've sworn I had seen a picture caption on the 'pedia of the Burned ower that said "Brass Tower, 500 years after the fire."
**goes to fix**


2.) You mentioned that Suicune basically came along to the decrepit cemetary and made everything shiny and new again, just by passing through it. This doesn't really fit with the lore about Suicune, at least, not from anything I've heard. If the field contained a huge lake nd you didn't mention the headstones bcoming suddenly polished I'd be more willing to believe but what you described seems closer to something Shaymin would do (CoughCoughFloaromaCough)
You have an interesting point. I was sorta focusing on Suicune's purification powers. But I'll edit that part because, as you said, it doesn't fit.

Thanks so much for the constructive criticism! I really need this! Also, I'm totally out of ideas for Chapter 6. I'll make it into a fan chapter. Got any suggestions for what they do next?
 
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