• Hello!

    Please be aware that our content warnings system has recently been updated! Please refer to this thread for more information, or if you're unsure, feel free to contact a Workshop staff member!

    Thank you all for helping us ensure our community is a safe and healthy one, and for your continued patronage in our Library and Workshop.
  • Forum staff applications are now open! If you're interested in seeing what sections are currently recruiting, click here for more information!

Endless Shadows (18+)

O

Oblivion

Yes hello I still exist.
Joined
Apr 29, 2010
Messages
5,619
Reaction score
0
Prologue

Desolation. Such a word cannot even begin to describe the scene before us. It is nothing. No, it is worse than nothing. It is the destruction caused by the most villainous and psychotic madman the world has ever seen. He is truly Satan embodied. He tried to cause genocide against the race of man.

And he almost succeeded.

His armies crawled throughout the world, leaving the greatest achievements of humankind as hollow, rotting shells of their past glory. We are the only survivors. We fight for mere survival. Try as we might, the one who calls himself Zaar attempts again and again to destroy us once and for all. We try to fend him off, but we lose many in the process. We have no shelter. We have no supplies. This man has killed hundreds of millions of lives. I pray to Arceus to assist us in this time, but I fear that even he would be struck down as well.

The human race is dying. And there is little to nothing we can do to reverse such drastic changes.​



Well, this is going to be one really dark fic. I was having some massive writer's block with the last one, so I decided to begin anew. Hope you guys enjoy.
 
Last edited:
Psh, 18+? This is exactly what kids these days need. They need menacing toy tanks with sharp metal edges that cut through their tender, young skin when they play just a little too rough. They need satanic serial killers that rape and pillage cities, remorselessly killing the human race.

Really though, this is good. Seems like a good RP setting. Reminds me a bit of Terminator for some reason.
 
Chapter 1

My name is Alexander Demkis. And my life is literally Hell on Earth.

We only have one camp, set in the remnants of Veilstone City. We are a small island in an ocean of evil. Pure evil. Our forces only about three hundred strong. We would stand no chance in an all out war against Zaar. And yet, looking around the bleak landscape that surrounds us, looking up at the forever blackened sky, increases my determination to stop this madman's rampage.

Thanks to our Pokemon, we have not starved, nor died from thirst. But with every assault, our forces dwindle.

It was another counsel. I could not tell you when it was, because the skies drowned out the sun, losing any sense of time. Is was a counsel figuring out whether or not it would be worth the risk to set off on an expedition to see if any other groups survived Zaar's rampage. His destruction had knocked our technology back by centuries, so our lives were like those of medieval times. Our chieftain was Lance, a person that most of you would know as a Champion of the Pokemon League. But now that there was no League, he had to fight, lest he be consumed by the darkness that now inhabited our world.

"So," Lance said, his face stoic. "Zaar's citadel lies in what was the Sinnoh League building. That means that we would be out of his reach if we were to continue to the west."

Another figure of power in our group, Lucian, shook his head. "Zaar knows this. He more than likely has commanders that he trusts all over the place. If we're going to stop his evil, we're can't be taking any risks,"

Lance pounded his fist on the makeshift table in frustration. "Then what are we supposed to do? March over to his citadel and expect to defeat him? I think not!" he shouted.

I had to speak. We weren't making any progress. "If I may make a suggestion," I said, and the two stopped glaring at each other and turned to face me. "We are living in a region watched over by the gods, correct? Spear Pillar is presumably a location where they can commune with the human world. I know that this sounds like an imbecilic plan, but it's the best one we have, short of suicide."

But then, a voice as cold as ice interrupted any potential reply.

"Genocide might be a more fitting description."

Everyone spun around, trying to find the source of the noise, until Lance was tackled by a shadowy figure. It was our greatest enemy.

It was Zaar.

The madman chuckled. "Did you really think that your camp would be safe? I have eyes and ears in every corner of this pathetic planet."

Lance stood and bared his teeth at Zaar. "You've caused so much destruction to your own kind, I thought that nearly destroying civilization would've been enough."

Zaar grinned. "Destruction? What, like this?"

SCHLUK!

Before any of us could retaliate, Zaar slashed his sword, slicing Lance's head clean off. The disembodied cranium rolled along the ground, stopping right at Lucian's feet.

Lance's Pokemon were released, and we thought that they would destroy Zaar. But he saw this coming, slicing vital body parts as soon as they came into view, and in a flash, six corpses were strewn across the floor.

Zaar sheathed his blade. "Hope that serves as a reminder."

And he disappeared as if he was never there.​
 
Last edited:
It was a bit rushed, but I'll take it into consideration. And cut me a little bit of slack, I'm new to the fanfic-writing business.

I actually wanted to give off the feeling that no matter where you kept refuge in this wasteland, Zaar could find you and kill you easily. The guy loves the intimidation factor.
 
I also think it's a bit rushed. However, I love the feelings this paragraph gave off. You made Zaar seem so sinister! Nice job!
 
I would question what happened to A.D, but it appears you have one doing the narration =P

Short and needs a bit description, as the others have said, and Zaar doesn't strike me as the type to kill quickly, more of a kill slowly as the others watch, then turn attentions to the others and repeat. Otherwise, it's good.
 
I love the basic plot, but why do I get the feeling that Zaar is behind me right now 0.o.

Anyways let me give you a grade......

Grammer-5
Spelling-5
Plot-5
Detail&Length-3.5
Opinion-4

Total-22.5/25

Keep it up!
 
Please note: The thread is from 16 years ago.
Please take the age of this thread into consideration in writing your reply. Depending on what exactly you wanted to say, you may want to consider if it would be better to post a new thread instead.
Back
Top Bottom