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EVERYONE: - Complete Eric Daimon's Quest: Pokemon and Revenge

Terra Force

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Prologue

Eric Daimon was once a regular Sevii Islander, until Team Rocket destroyed his entire village on an island not part of the Sevii Islands. He and his beautiful girlfriend Peggy were the only human survivors, but neither knows the other is still alive. Eric's life was saved by Mewtwo, who gave him 6 Pokemon, along with a Jungle King Keyblade. The Pokemon were Rhyperior, Sceptile, Donphan, Kingdra, Crobat, and Gyarados. Eric then became Mewtwo's servant to repay the genetic Pokemon for saving his life. Mewtwo then told our hero about the evils of Team Rocket and their leader Giovanni. Eric then vowed to avenge everyone he knew and loved, eliminate Team Rocket, and kill Giovanni.

Chapter I

Eric was at New Island with Mewtwo. Mewtwo told him "I have some good news, and some bad news. The good news... your girlfriend is alive, and the bad news is, Team Rocket is selling her as a slave in Johto. Could you go and save her? It will greatly help you with your revenge plot." Eric nodded, saying, "Yes, my master.", and he went off, grabbing his Keyblade, and went all over Johto on his Crobat to find her. Then, by the Team Rocket base in Mahogany town, he saw a suspicious crowed around one girl. Eric went down, returned his Crobat, and clutched his Jungle King Keyblade. he shouted "THAT IS MY GIRLFRIEND! LET HER GO OR YOU B****RDS WILL GO STRAIGHT TO HELL!" A female Rocket executive came up to our young avenger and told him he shouldn't be here. Eric then said "NO! DAMN YOU!" and stuck up his middle finger. He then used Strike Raid on her. She saw him as a major threat. She sent out a Tyranitar, a Salamence, and a Scizor. Eric sent out his Dosaidon, Crobat, and Kingdra. Eric shouted to his Pokemon "ATTACK! KINGDRA! ICE BEAM ON SALAMENCE! CROBAT! AIR SLASH ON SCIZOR! RHYPERIOR! MEGAHORN ON TYRANITAR!" The executive didn't even have a chance to attack, because her Pokemon were so easily defeated. Eric then pushed through the crowd and found his girlfriend, wearing just a whtie bikini, with her ebony skin and pitch-black hair making it stick out. Her hands were cuffed and feet were shackled. Eric then got to her. He said "Stand back, Peggy!" and froze the handcuffs and shackles right off with Blizzaga, and the metal shattered. Eric then grabbed his grilfriend, kissed her on the lips, and Mewtwo sent a Charizard clone to the area to bring them to New Island. Eric said "REMEMBER, SCUMBAGS! DON'T SCREW WITH THE POWER OF GOOD!" Peggy then said "Thank you SO MUCH for saving me!". Eric told her his story and about Mewtwo. She was shocked. She thought Eric was dead for all this time! The Charizard clone then dropped them off on New Island, and Eric showed his girlfriend around. Mewtwo said "So THIS is your girlfriend. Eric, you are getting one step closer to us getting our revenge! Peggy, I am very glad that you are safe." Eric said "Thank you, master." and the couple went to bed, because it was a long day and was pretty late.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Dude, didn't you already post this, like a while ago? And I see it hasn't improved from there. Keyblades in Pokemon? No sense of formatting, self-censoring (there's no swear filter on here, so a line of asteriks really look out of place), and please, what's Mewtwo doing here anyway? Not to mention that you pace the story like a hundred yard dash. You need to describe more, and DAMN USE PARAGRAPHS!
 
Dude, didn't you already post this, like a while ago? And I see it hasn't improved from there. Keyblades in Pokemon? No sense of formatting, self-censoring (there's no swear filter on here, so a line of asteriks really look out of place), and please, what's Mewtwo doing here anyway? Not to mention that you pace the story like a hundred yard dash. You need to describe more, and DAMN USE PARAGRAPHS!

QFT!

Paragraphs is the first thing that imo needs to be fixed, then the detail. I suggest you read some other threads and see the comments made on them and then see if they would apply to you.
 
The second chapter will be better, and therefore will be delayed.
 
It will be delayed, and here's a little info.

The basic plot of almost everyone Eric knows dying, Mewtwo saving his life, Eric reuniting with Peggy, and the whole get revenge and kil Giovanni thing is based off many movies, TV shows, and video games. Try to guess what the are.
 
Please note: The thread is from 19 years ago.
Please take the age of this thread into consideration in writing your reply. Depending on what exactly you wanted to say, you may want to consider if it would be better to post a new thread instead.
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