Flour Baby (A SoulSilvershipping High School fic)

[Abstractwatercolor]

I don't own PKMN.
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Chapter 1
(LPOV)​

I'd just sat down in Life Science when the teacher, Professor Ivy came in. "Alright, class. Starting today, your next assignment will be to take care of 1 of these." She reached into a crate next to her & pulled out... "Uh, Professor?" I called out "That's a sack of flour." "Good observation, Miss Lyra." She replied, almost sarcasticly. Every1 laughed, & I blushed.

"Now," Prof. Ivy said "You will be paired up to represent a couple & will take care of your baby for a few months- at least 3." Nervous chattering filled the room until Prof. Ivy pulled out a list. "Mr. Gold, Miss Coby, you are paired." Ethan & Kris gave eachother an almost wary look. "Miss Maple, with Mr. Rouseir." May & Drew somewhat unwillingly moved closer together.

"Miss Waterflower, you're paired with Mr. Ketchum." Ash & Misty shrugged. They were already a couple. This assignment would be a breeze for them. Prof. Ivy went on. She didn't say my name, so I sort of tuned her out while she paired up the other kids. "Miss Alemi." She called to me. "Yes'm?" I asked, looking up.

"You've always been a very good student; maybe you'll be able to teach Mr. Sakaki something." I gasped & looked at the desk next to mine. Silver was staring at me with the same suprised, near-horrified expression I was sure was on my face. The Prof. dropped a flour-sack onto my desk. "Enjoy parenthood."

"This is gonna be a looong 3 months" Silver & I said together.
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R&R, my lovlies!

 

[eevee91]

I wonder how that will turn out. Will they get along?

 

[Kantomasta]

its a good story. those couples were kinda obvious though

 

[TeamGalacticMercury]

Spoiler

I don't own PKMN.
=========================

Chapter 1
(LPOV)​

I'd just sat down in Life Science when the teacher, Professor Ivy came in. "Alright, class. Starting today, your next assignment will be to take care of 1 of these." She reached into a crate next to her & pulled out... "Uh, Professor?" I called out "That's a sack of flour." "Good observation, Miss Lyra." She replied, almost sarcasticly. Every1 laughed, & I blushed.

"Now," Prof. Ivy said "You will be paired up to represent a couple & will take care of your baby for a few months- at least 3." Nervous chattering filled the room until Prof. Ivy pulled out a list. "Mr. Gold, Miss Coby, you are paired." Ethan & Kris gave eachother an almost wary look. "Miss Maple, with Mr. Rouseir." May & Drew somewhat unwillingly moved closer together.

"Miss Waterflower, you're paired with Mr. Ketchum." Ash & Misty shrugged. They were already a couple. This assignment would be a breeze for them. Prof. Ivy went on. She didn't say my name, so I sort of tuned her out while she paired up the other kids. "Miss Alemi." She called to me. "Yes'm?" I asked, looking up.

"You've always been a very good student; maybe you'll be able to teach Mr. Sakaki something." I gasped & looked at the desk next to mine. Silver was staring at me with the same suprised, near-horrified expression I was sure was on my face. The Prof. dropped a flour-sack onto my desk. "Enjoy parenthood."

"This is gonna be a looong 3 months" Silver & I said together.
=========
R&R, my lovlies!

The 2nd one! Yay! Anyway, it was short and straight forward. NicE!

 

[pikachu200]

(Wow no ikari fluffyness in the background?) lol the project's gonna be interesting to see

 

[Abstractwatercolor]

Hey. Me no own.
==============

Chapter 2
(LPOV)​

Once we all had our flour-sacks, Prof. Ivy led us into a mini-room full of baby clothes & stuff. "Now, you put these on them, & do other things to make them seem more real." "Why?" Silver's cousin, Paul called out; making his partner, Zoey scowl at him. "'Cause making the baby is the fun part!" Drew called back. The Prof. gave him a Look, but most of the boys laughed.

When Prof. Ivy told us to get started, I went over to 1 of the tables & started to dress the "baby". "What are you doing?" Silver asked bluntly, as he walked up beside me. "Getting the 'baby'-" I made air-quotes around the word- "-dressed." I said. "In pink?" He sounded sceptical & amused. "Well, I say it's a girl." I replied simply. "What if I wanted it to be a boy?" He asked. I retorted with "No1 told me that. & you weren't the 1 holding her."

"Alright then." Silver consented, rolling his eyes. "It's a girl. But, if you finish dressing her I get to pick the name." "Deal." I agreed. While Silver wandered off, I finished up & held the baby close to me, the way we'd all been taught to hold a baby. "Lyra!!!" Kris called. My cousin ran over, holding her baby. "Lyra, meet your 2nd-cousin, Jarry Coby-Gold." Grinning, I laughed "Hi, Jarry." Then, I added "My baby doesn't have a name yet. Silver's pickin' it."

Kris sighed & rolled her eyes. "I feel so bad for you, Lylee. Your 'baby-daddy'-" She made air-quotes around the phrase- "-is the worst student in class, &, pretty much an Emo." "Hopefully, I'll survive." I said, shrugging. "But," Kris replied "I'm worried about you & your 'lil cutie." She motioned to my baby with 1 hand. "You might as well be a single mom." "DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!!!" Ash sang out, having been passing by, & heard what Kris said.

I swallowed.
=======================
Okay, my lovelies, not only do I need feedback, but I need suggestions for the name of Sil & Ly's baby. I already have an idea, but I'm open to suggestion. Soooooo.........

1, 2, 3, 4, YOU KNOW WHAT THE BUTTON'S FOR!!!!!

 

[TeamGalacticMercury]

I got one!! I got one!!! Um... uhh.... Kristen, Sofia, Gabby, Lucy, Kourtnee, Eliana, Stella, Marlenia, Kassidi, [OR ON THE FUNNY SIDE] It, Lassie, Mare

Nice chapter, but you should make the chappies longer.

 

[Kantomasta]

lyra and silver...silra

 

[Abstractwatercolor]

I own the idea, the plot, & the "baby", nothing else.

I got a bunch of good names, & it was hard to decide. Please don't be offened if I didn't pick yours. (Plus, some1else'll prob'ly use it)
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Chapter 3
(LPOV)​

1 hour later, I was sitting in the school courtyard, holding the flour-baby. Silver walked up to me & sat down. "'Sup?" He greeted. "Hi." I greeted back. Silver looked at the "baby" & said "What about Kourtnee?" "After that Kardashian chick?!" I exclaimed. "Okay, okay,... Lassie?" "She's not a pet!"
"Lila?"
"Sounds like a plant."
"Blanca?"
"Wow, that's not insulting."
"Nira?"
"Is she from Oz?"
"Mare?"
"Again, not a pet."
"Alright then, what about Diriva?"
"Are we in Wheretheheckistan?"

We went back & forth like that for a while, then we were silent, the baby stil nameless. Finally, Silver muttered something. "Her name." He said, when I asked. "It's Silra." My face lit up "I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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3-thousand Web-Coockies to Rioluluver for the name of Sil & Ly's baby. R&R, my lovelies!

 

[Kantomasta]

yayyy!!! the baby is named!

 

[lordeofthedances]

I loved the name you choose ,but in future chapters can you please get a little more in depth with the characters.

 

[pikachu200]

Lol too cute of a fanfic

 

[TeamGalacticMercury]

WAY to short!!!!

 

[Abstractwatercolor]

Hello. PKMN isn't mine.

In this chapter, the boys are left alone with the babies. *Evil laugh* I fear for the children. :evil:

(PG-13, for swearing)
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Chapter 4
(SPOV)​

"Are you guys gonna be okay?" The boys & I rolled our eyes. "We'll be fine." Drew told May for the 80th time. So, the girls handed us the babies, kissed them goodbye, & headed off. They were going to see Wicked, a musical they'd all been wanting to see.

We headed back to our dorm, & got some shut-eye, so we could take care of the babies during the night. (Prof. Ivy had them fixed-up to act like real babies) Unforetunatly, Drew's kid, Jacob woke up & started screaming. Drew rolled over. "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." "Drew, get the damn kid!" I ordered. "I don't wannaaa!!!" He cried. "You sound like your fuckin' kid!" Ash complained. "Just fix it!"

Drew tossed a pillow across the room. It hit Jacob & he shut up, "THANK YOU, ARCEUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" We all shouted. We'd just fallen back asleep, when another baby started crying. "Ash." I said sleepily. "Baby." "Sil." He said back. "Your baby." "Kenny." Drew said. "Get whoever's baby." Kenny was sacked out in a chair.

"KENNY!" I yelled. "GET THE FUCKING SACK OF USELESSNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Kenny fell out of the chair. "WHO-WHAT-WHEN-WHERE-WHY-HOW?!?!?!?!" "Get the kid, before we kill you." Paul said calmly. Kenny stood up like someone had poked him with a pencil. "Yes, sir!"
Kenny got the kid. "Sil's baby." He reported.

"Shut up, Silra!" I moaned. The other guys laughed. Kenny punched her. Silence. I whooped with joy, then, promptly fell asleep. After a while, we got up of our own accord & held our kids. "I swear to Arceus, I am never, ever, & I mean never having kids." Ethan said. "Speak for yourself, you lucky son of a bitch." I replied. "My dad's CEO of a huge company, & expects me to have a bunch of little heirs." "You poor, poor, poor asshole." Paul sympathiesed.

"Why is Sil a poor, poor, poor, asshole?" Lyra said, walking in with the other girls. "I mean, we know he's an asshole," Misty added "But why a poor, poor, poor 1?" "'Cause we're all assholes right now." Ash replied. "I beg to differ." Misty & Dawn said together. "Oh, please," Drew moaned. "Make the romantic shit stop!!!" All the babies started crying. "Make it stop!!" Drew cried out. Kenny, Ethan, Paul, Ash & I joined in "MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!!!" "Our poor assholes." The girls said together.

They took the babies & left. "FINALY!!!!!!!!" We yelled in unison. Then, all of us collapsed onto our bunks, crying with relief. "We should be ashamed." Kenny managed to say. "We're crying." "Girls cry." Ash replied "Men weep." So we continued our joyful weeping. Our harsh ordeal with childcare was done.
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R&R, my lovlies!

 

[eevee91]

XD I can just imagine some of the guys actually saying many of the parts.
When Paul said "Get the kid, before we kill you," I could just picture him saying that.
And Poor babies.

 

[TeamGalacticMercury]

lol that is all I have to say. lollollollol

 

[pikachu200]

Lol they should've put the flour babies outside where they wouldn't get bothered but then the girls would kill tem when they get back lol!

 

[Phantom Kat]

Hello, PokeFanGirl. :3 I came across your story, and I thought I would offer some advice. Note that I didn’t read your story but merely scanned through it. Due to this, this is more about description, grammar, and presentation advice than my thoughts about the plot and characters.

I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At max, you should only have two exclamation points. More than two simply seems messy and unprofessional, as though your finger got stuck on the key and you couldn’t lift it up in time. Instead of using a lot of exclamation marks or underlining and bolding dialogue, use description to further say how happy or angry a person is. For example, here, you can have your character skipping around as she squealed at the mere thought of the name. When somebody reads this, they’ll say, “Wow, she must really love the name!” And you made the reader think that without having to put a lot of exclamation marks. Nice, right?

Ash & Misty shrugged.

Instead of using “&”, type out “and”. It gives your story a more polished, professional look to it. The same thing goes for “Prof.” Now, you can put “Prof” in dialogue if that’s how the character speaks and shortens the word, but to keep the story professional, type out “Professor” whenever the word appears out of dialogue. Also, numbers below “100” should be written out, like “one” and “three.”

The reason you want to do all this is to make your readers believe that you know what’re writing about. It’ll make you seem much more professional and neat, and people would rather read a nice, clean story than one that looks more like just another forum post.

Now, in Chapter Three, you had this:

"Lila?"
"Sounds like a plant."
"Blanca?"
"Wow, that's not insulting."
"Nira?"
"Is she from Oz?"
"Mare?"
"Again, not a pet."
"Alright then, what about Diriva?"
"Are we in Wheretheheckistan?"

It’s just one piece of dialogue after another, and it’s a bit boring to read, to be honest. Dialogue is a great way to add description and get your point across. If someone frowns, that means that the person didn’t like what was just said. If you have the person cross his arms and look up at the ceiling with furrowed brows, readers will know that the person is thinking very hard and has put a lot of thought into the name that was suggested. Think of it like if you were talking to someone in real life. Don’t their faces sometimes tell the whole story before their words do? Don’t they sometimes make motions with their hands as they say something? If you incorporate that into your dialogue, your characters will have more life to them.

I wish you luck on your story. ^-^

- Kat