TEEN: - Ongoing Fullmoons rising: The regretful curse

[Dialgasavour]

Alright so this is a story of a girl named Vixie Leon, who lives in a village with her grandparents. She has red hair and is very spunky. She also has very odd markings down her arms and onto her hands. She doesnt know what happened to her parents but she knows one thing. The person who killed them was named Riota.

Chapter 1: Regrets

Once again the moon was full they where out there looking for the pokemon Entei. They got very close but... somehow one of them got injured. When they started heading back they where just talking about there experience so far with the research on Entei. " We where just as close at Mt. Vixion. And you ended up getting hurt again." Said the guy. "Well you cant blame me for falling can you??" Said a woman. "Well I just expect you to be a little more aware of your surroundings. I mean really though Phoebi....How can I expect you to be ok when you are actually making a huge fuse about this?" Said the man. "Well Ben I dont expect you to come and make a rescue for me right??" Phoebi said. As they where going back to there village arguing about it they left there only daughter with Bens parents. Her name was Vixon.


Ok Well so far thats all I could sum up.... And I kinda need help with the rest. So I am open to any great suggestions. Ok thanks.

 

[Blackjack Gabbiani]

"There" and "their" aren't the same word. Neither are "where" and "were".

And please, learn to format. Each new character speaking starts a new paragraph, not to be clumped together in one giant paragraph.

Some people will get on you about length, too. But I write short chapters too, so I'll just say this--beef it up with some detail. Don't tell us all this background stuff in your notes, work it into the fic.

 

[Dialgasavour]

I guess you would have a point and this is just a rough draft I am still working on it.... So when I get it out then it should be alot better. But thanks for telling me.. I guess I should have learned a bit more about writing skills....