EVERYONE: - Complete Haikudex Project

[MisheardWhisper]

Hey, everyone! This is just something silly I do while writing proper fics, a little creative exercise to get the juices flowing and wriggle past writers' block. Eventually the aim is to catalogue all... how many Pokemon are there now? 700? Anyway, I started with Bulbasaur and I'm going all the way through to... jeez I really haven't played SM enough. Is it Necrozma? Whatever the case is, I decided to try and write a haiku for every Pokemon in existence, and so the Haikudex Project was born. I'm sure someone's done it before, but such is life.

The creative process, such as it is, involves opening the Pokemon's Bulbapedia page and seeing what springs to mind. Some of these will be attempts at serious poetry, some will basically be jokes. While I'm aware of the more 'traditional' rules of haiku (such as explicit seasonal references etc), I'm just using the standard modern 5-7-5 format. Sorry traditionalists! I'll post them in batches of 10-20, because they really don't justify individual posts.

Contents:
#1/Bulbasaur - #15/Beedrill (this post)

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#1 - Bulbasaur

An infectious smile
More so than your toxic spores
What a beginning

#2 - Ivysaur

Brave little battler
Not yet achieving full bloom
You carry your seed

#3 - Venusaur

Charmingly ugly
A contradiction in terms
Nature’s power grows

#4 - Charmander

What will you become?
Huddled against the cold rain
Blazing potential

#5 - Charmeleon

A hothead like this
Nobody will see again
And claws of iron

#6 - Charizard

Apex of a dream
Wings spread wide, eyes on the sky
Flame burns eternal

#7 - Squirtle

Pillbug full of sass
You roll like stones down a hill
Tail gently curled

#8 - Wartortle

A deeper, brave blue
Super sentai of this world
Unyielding shell

#9 - Blastoise

Built like a damn tank
In awe at the size of him
Absolute unit

#10 - Caterpie

Today, you are weak
Tomorrow, something greater
Don’t ever despair

#11 - Metapod

Metapod, Harden
This could take a little while
Check back next Tuesday

#12 - Butterfree

Riotous colour
Shimmering, glittering wings
Bye bye Butterfree

#13 - Weedle

Nobody likes you
Caterpie’s pointy brother
Don’t Poison Sting me

#14 - Kakuna

Well, it looks cooler
Same thing as Metapod, though
Used Harden again

#15 - Beedrill

Aight, now we’re talking
I’m legitimately scared
Those eyes pierce my soul

 

[diamondpearl876]

Okay, Metapod's haiku made me laugh much harder than it should have. Weedle, Kakuna, and Beedrill's aren't too elegant in the way of wording, but the way they string together is hilarious. Oh, and the homage to the first season anime episode with Butterfree's was cute to see. ^^

I'm by no means a good person to critique poetry, so, you know, that's all I got. I'm down for more of these.

 

[MisheardWhisper]

Thanks dp (also late congrats on admin)! Appreciate your thoughts, and I'm glad you liked them.

Incidentally, here's the next batch; why do I feel like these will completely descend into memes before long?

#16 - Pidgey

Kinda cute, but still
Just Pokémon GO away
I have tons of you.

#17 - Pidgeotto

A flurry of brown
Pallid streaks of red and gold
The forgotten one

#18 - Pidgeot

Body of a bird
But the heart of a dragon
A regal raptor

#19 - Rattata

You were expecting
The top percentage of memes?
Waste of a haiku

...wait.

#20 - Raticate

Terrifying beast
Somehow worse in gen seven
What a disaster

#21 - Spearow

Overshadowed, yet
Definitely Kanto’s best
Among the small birds

#22 - Fearow

Winged pneumatic drill
Monstrous power, yet so slim
Note: not a Moltres

#23 - Ekans

Thought they were so smart
Yes, it’s ‘snake’ backwards, har har
This thing is so dumb

#24 - Arbok

Hypnotising gaze
Swaying like a pendulum
Vile death comes swiftly.

#25 - Pikachu

Beloved mascot
Timeless, ageless, eternal
Did you lose some weight?

#26 - Raichu

Don’t worry, big guy
I haven’t forgotten you
Take the Thunderstone

#27 - Sandshrew

A whirling dervish
Swimming through a world of sand
Like a wrecking ball

#28 - Sandslash

Swiftly changing tack
A roly-poly ball of death
Claws like f*cking knives

#29 - Nidoran♀

Gender differences?
You’re way ahead of the curve
Very progressive

#30 - Nidorina

A stealth favourite
Double Kick versus Kanto
Where is that Moon Stone??

 

[diamondpearl876]

Thanks dp (also late congrats on admin)! Appreciate your thoughts, and I'm glad you liked them.

Thanks! I'm still making my way through a backlog of fics, but I plan to read Star Performer, too, and should have thoughts for you on that soon.

Incidentally, here's the next batch; why do I feel like these will completely descend into memes before long?

Okay, yeah, aside from Pidgeotto, these were all memes. I'm dying over here. Not sure if my favorite is Pikachu or NidoranF - close call.

As a side note, Bulbagarden doesn't censor swear words, so no need for asterisks if you don't want to.

 

[TRNatalie]

Fulcrum, I love these and I admire you for committing yourself to every Pokemon in the Pokedex.

 

[Juliko]

I'm loving some of these so far, especially Butterfree's, Rattata's, and Pikachu's! But I did notice some sentences didn't fit the five syllable rule, such as "Tail gently curled," "A terrifying beast," and "Unyielding shell." You might want to edit those a bit.

 

[MisheardWhisper]

Might be some accent differences in there, I think... 'unyielding' at least definitely comes out as four syllables for me. ^.^ I did trip up on one or two though, my b.

 

[Juliko]

I see. That's fine! Good luck on the rest of your haikus!