Mialentia
Please don't send me leaks
- Joined
- Sep 1, 2025
- Messages
- 339
- Reaction score
- 466
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Content Warnings: Major Character Death, Self-Harm, Depictions of Grief
Summary:
When Friede unexpectedly dies as the Rising Volt Tacklers escape from Laqua, the surviving members are left shattered by their grief. Liko and Dot, unable to properly communicate, break up, leaving Roy to wonder what happened, and to shoulder his own pain alone. Everyone goes their separate ways, but the wounds refuse to heal...Even a year later, none of them have forgotten what happened. Can Liko and Dot navigate their broken relationship, and can Roy and Ult find a way forward with them? Or will their bridge burn to a crisp, leaving them to fall in the abyss below?
An ongoing Pokémon Horizons fanfiction, with a focus on the Liko/Dot romantic pairing.
Tags:
Angst, Breakup, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Mental Anguish, Established Relationship, Crying, Unhealthy Relationships, Lies, Shut-Up Kiss(illustration for Chapter 1 by @angela_occupied on Twitter)
In but a moment, it all fell apart.
First, Lucius and Gibeon passed on. What should have been a bittersweet moment of silence for the Rising Volt Tacklers and their unlikely ally became a desperate scramble for survival as Spinel took control of Laqua, revealing the Laquium Spheres’ true purpose as he forced five of the Six Heroes to go berserk. Amethio left first, escaping on his Corviknight. Liko, Roy, Dot and Friede had to run, the might of these Pokémon of legend shattering the very ground beneath them, reducing this Pokémon paradise to ruin. No time to save the wild Pokémon. Have to run. Have to fly away. No time to think, no time to breathe, no time to grieve.
Against all odds, they make it out of the crater. What now? The drop is too big to simply jump off. Charizard and Kilowattrel are too tired to continue. The earthquakes make climbing down too dangerous. It’s cold, really cold. Dot’s not used to it, Liko’s reminded of her experience in that damned Glaseado cave, even Roy can feel the chill despite his fiery disposition. Friede tells them to look. The Brave Olivine? Can it really make it up there? The pressure is too much. But before their eyes, the ship transforms, revealing a reactor and propellers. It’s taking a lot of damage, but it’s going to make it! Maybe it will be alright, Liko allowed herself to think. He knew they could make it out okay, thought Roy. Dot’s racing heartbeat slowed just a little, thinking the worst of it was done.
The worst of it was not done.
It all happened in a flash. A strong gust of wind. The kids manage to just barely hang on to the ship, but Friede, Charizard and Cap are dragged to the back, the Flame Pokémon grabbing the edge at the very last moment. But he’s exhausted. They all are. He’s not going to make it. Friede can see that.
The kids can’t. Liko desperately reaches out, taking Cap from Friede when he extends his hand to give him away. Dot is hanging on to her waist, giving all the support she can so her girlfriend doesn’t go flying. Roy doesn’t know what to do, feeling like he’s too weak to be of any use. Orla, confused, heads out, expecting to have to yell at Friede to stop messing around and get inside.
Instead, she’s met with the sight of her childhood friend blowing away in the wind, like a leaf about to be torn apart by the elements themselves.
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“FRIEDE!”
The cries of Liko’s very soul resounded in her friends’ ears, a painful reminder that this is indeed reality. It didn’t take long for the tragedy to have its effects on Roy and Dot, either. “AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” The former fell to his knees, letting tears stream down his face, screaming his lungs out, not knowing how to take the loss.
“R-Roy…” Orla cursed herself for not being Mollie, who always seemed to know what to say in these situations.
“...Out of the way, Orla.”
“U-Um– right. We should get in–”
“MOVE ALREADY!” Dot, rapidly losing her composure, shoved the mechanic to the side as she rapidly walked in the direction of the navigation room, her trembling legs seemingly not affecting her against all odds.
“...” As for Liko, ever since screaming her mentor’s name, she barely breathed, her eyes lifelessly staring in Laqua’s direction, hoping against hope to see him rise above the clouds on Charizard’s back, a smug look on his face. Her body was on the ship, but her mind was… somewhere else entirely, lost within the pain and the regret.
“Liko… Roy… come on. Let’s get inside.” Orla half-heartedly held back her own tears, taking each child’s hand in hers, and dragging them back inside with little resistance.
There are no words that could describe how pained Roy’s screams were. Even now, ten minutes after the tragedy, he was still screaming as loudly as he was seconds after he saw his idol’s smile fade, and his body vanish into the clouds. Without the sounds of the deafening wind in Liko and Orla’s ears, they felt louder still, but they didn’t have the heart to tell him to stop, or the energy to do much to comfort him. Liko barely had the energy to recognize that he was screaming at all.
But even louder than his desperate pleas for Friede to return were Roy’s thoughts. He wasn’t strong enough. If he’d trained more, done more, paid more attention… he could have stopped it. He could have ordered Crocalor to snatch the Spheres away from Spinel. He could have made Kilowattrel stronger, so he could carry his friends back to the base of the mountain on his own. He could’ve caught up with Friede on its back, preventing him from falling. But he was too weak, too pathetic, too useless to do anything. He was just an annoying kid who only distracted him from keeping himself alive. At least, that’s what he thought, as his throat began to hurt from his expressions of unhindered pain.
To Roy, he was the one to kill Friede with his own weak hands.
—--------------------------------------------------
“Okay, I think we’re out of the worst of it.” Murdock, relieved the ship didn’t fall apart, allowed himself to relax in his seat as he turned on the Brave Olivine’s autopilot. “As soon as we’re out of the mountain range, we’ll find somewhere to land to perform maintenance and then we’ll get ho–”
Suddenly, the door to the navigation room slammed open, startling Mollie and Ludlow, who were trying to calm the smaller Pokémon.
“Turn the ship around.” Dot coldly ordered, her face calm.
“Dot? I-I’m sorry, I can’t do that. It’s way too hectic out there to–”
“TURN THE FUCKING SHIP AROUND!”
Ordinarily, Murdock would scold, maybe even ground his niece for speaking to him in that tone. It certainly wasn’t the first time; especially before she befriended Liko and Roy, she had her bouts of anger, teenage angst beginning to rear its head, he thought. When she did that, he would usually take her Rotom Phone away, or make her eat with the crew instead of in her room like she usually did. He never knew if that was the right thing to do, but he did his best, as her loving uncle. But this time… this time, he stayed silent. It was probably impossible for the other two adults to hear it, but as her caretaker, the crew’s cook could hear something in the back of her tone, meekly hiding behind her unadulterated fury. Just for a fraction of a second, her voice trembled.
“Dot… did something ha–”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Roy’s voice resonated from the other side of the ship, startling everyone but Dot, and confirming Murdock’s concerns. Something happened. Something bad.
“TURN IT AROUND! TURN I-IT… t-turn… around…!” Slowly, the meek Dot came out of hiding, pushing the angry Dot to the side, and moving her body to her uncle’s, falling into his arms and clutching at his shirt, her tears bursting out of her, like a dam that finally broke. “Please…! P-Please, Uncle…! He’s… h-he’s…!”
“He’s… no… Friede…?” Not missing a beat, Murdock looked over at Mollie, who gave him a quiet nod, and made her way out of the room to go check on Liko and Roy.
“Murdock… Uncle…! Wh-Why…? I…! sob”
“Shhh… it’s all right, Dot, honey. It’s… all right…”
The cook forced himself to swallow his own grief, as he pulled the former shut-in into a tight hug. Right now, his niece needs him. He would have his time to mourn. But right now… he has to be there. He had never seen her so distraught. He had never heard her call him “Uncle” in that tone before. For his sister, for Dot’s friends, for Dot herself… he would be strong.
---------------------------------------------------
Liko did not sleep that night.
The events of the day were a blur to her. All she could remember after Friede’s dea… disappearance were Roy’s screams, Mollie saying… something to her, taking her to her room to talk, and her distantly nodding occasionally. Try as she might, she could not remember a thing of what she said. Eventually, she left, taking Meowscarada, Hattrem and Pagogo’s Poké Balls to care for them, and leaving her on her own. It must have taken her an hour to move from sitting to lying down in her bed, and another before she felt her conscience slowly returning to her body. When she could finally feel like she was present in the material world again, moving her fingers, then her wrist, then her arm, the first thing she did was cry softly into her pillow. She wanted to scream, to yell like her friends did, but she couldn’t find the strength to do that. So she simply quietly wept, staining her bedding with her tears, but not making a sound, as if she had to hide her pain from the world. Who knows what would happen if she was noticed. Maybe the world would take someone else from her.
Eventually, Mollie returned, dropping off Hattrem and Pagogo’s Poké Balls. The former didn’t get too roughed up, she said. But Liko felt something more in her heart die when she heard that Pagogo refused to come out of its Poké Ball. Great. Another friend she lost. Pushing down her unexpected (and uncomfortable) rise of anger, the young Trainer half-heartedly thanked Mollie, and told her to take care of Meowscarada for her.
As the moon fully rose in the sky, Liko still hadn’t slept a wink. Hattrem came out of its Poké Ball occasionally to check on her, feeling her Trainer’s pain, but the girl would recall her every time, wishing to be alone. She had never felt so… angry before. She didn’t even know what she was angry at. The world, for being cruel? Herself, for bringing everyone on this adventure, only to kill their leader? Pagogo, for not even bothering to check on her? Friede, for… no, she can’t be blaming her loved ones for suffering, too. And yet, the pain made her heart feel just a little more bitter every time she pushed it down.
She really didn’t understand anything about herself.
--------------------------------------------------
Eventually, the sun rose, and Dot tried her best to rouse from her slumber. She wouldn’t have slept, hell, she didn’t want to, but Murdock insisted on giving her some melatonin so she could rest and calm down. As much as she was loath to admit it, she did feel calmer now that she had some time to relax… she wondered if Liko and Roy managed to sleep, as well, as she quickly put on some clothes, determined to do her best to find Friede today. She had to try. If she tried her best, maybe they would get him back. And if she couldn’t… well, maybe burying herself in the search could keep her mind off the pain.
As she made her way to the living room, she noticed the ship was heartbreakingly quiet. There were no sounds of Roy training first thing in the morning coming from the deck. She couldn’t hear Murdock’s singing from the kitchen. While she surmised Orla was, indeed, in the engine room, her usual cheery encouragement of Carkol and Slugma was gone, replaced with sounds of a shovel hitting coal at about twice the rate. And, most importantly… she noticed Liko hadn’t come to check on her and wish her a good morning. It was pretty late in the morning, though, and she was always up before her… gathering her courage, she knocked on her door, hoping to be able to give her girlfriend her usual good morning kiss.
“Liko? Are you awake?”
“...”
“I… I was hoping we could hold a meeting with the others. You know, to talk about… everything. There has to be something we can do…”
“...”
“And… I miss you…”
“...”
No matter what she said, all Dot got in return was silence. That is, until she felt her Rotom Phone vibrate in her pocket. It was a message from… Liko? She quickly opened it, hoping she was texting her because she was elsewhere on the ship and none the wiser that the streamer was trying to reach out to her.
“Please leave me alone.”
Dot felt a sting through her heart, like a poisoned arrow was shot directly at it. She felt upset, but she buried it deep inside, not wanting to make this any harder on her beloved.
“Okay… I’ll come get you when we head out to look for him. You can rest for now.”
“...”
“...I love you…”
“...”
Defeated, Dot left her partner alone, and went to check on the other members. Surely, they wouldn’t be as hard on her…
…Right?
--------------------------------------------------
“Thank you all for coming.”
Roy tried his best to sit up straight as Dot began to talk to the… remaining Rising Volt Tacklers. Everyone surprisingly managed to come, with the notable exception of Liko. The streamer was worried that other people were going to be too buried in their grief to attend, but they all made the effort, even those who looked like they hadn’t slept a wink, which was… most of them. Seeing this, she decided to take the lead on the rescue operation. Plus, being so responsible for the search left her unable to think about… other things.
Roy couldn’t help but be impressed by Dot’s composure. She really had grown so much since him and Liko had to drag her out of her room. Now, she was the crew’s bona fide strategist, coming up with plans and putting them into action. Meanwhile, what was he doing? He was the ship’s resident meathead, always talking about battling and training… and for what? The Black Rayquaza didn’t come with him. Laqua fell. Liko won’t come out of her room. Friede is… gone. He was too weak to save him. Too pathetic to make a difference. He had to get stronger. Stronger and stronger and stronger and–
“Roy?”
“Ah–” Snapping out of his spiral, Roy noticed everyone was looking at him, a concerned look on their faces. He felt something wet roll down his cheek. Had he been… crying? “Um– sorry, I-I–”
“It’s all right, Roy,” Mollie interrupted. “I understand. We all do. Do you need some time?”
“N-No!” he replied, though it came out more… loudly than he expected or intended. “I’m fine. Please, continue.”
“Okay. So, as I was saying, I know this is a difficult time, to put it lightly… but the more we allow ourselves to grieve, the less likely we are to be able to find Friede. We know him. He’s not the type to die on us so easily. I… I have to believe he’s still alive.”
“...Yeah.” Orla half-heartedly responded. Roy could tell no one in the room fully believed her, not even Dot herself, but they all wanted to believe it, and so they hoped against hope.
“So… I’d like us to split into two teams. One will explore Pericarp Mountain on foot, trying to find any signs of him. That team will be composed of our strongest battlers. So Roy, Orla, and myself. I think Cap should come with us too.”
Roy felt the urge to deny that he was anywhere close to a “strong battler”, given his results, but he kept it to himself, not wanting to derail the conversation. Instead, he decided to add to the meeting. “What about Liko?”
“I… would like her to come with us, but… I’m not sure she will. Actually, I’d like you to go check on her before we leave. Maybe you could convince her to come out of her room.”
“I can try.”
“As for the second team… Murdock, Mollie and Ludlow will go into Pericarp Town, and talk to the locals. Maybe one of them rescued Friede, and is nursing him back to health… or something. I thought of searching from the skies, but the ship is in bad shape, and it’s not like we could get much higher than we already are without outright destroying it anyway.”
“You can count on us.” replied Ludlow, a determined glint in his eye.
“Alright. Thank you, everyone. I’m glad we can still work together, even at a time like this.” Satisfied with the meeting, Dot began the Rising Volt Tacklers’s signature handshake, everyone else joining in as well, and the crew parted ways, getting ready for their search.
“Roy?”
“Hm?” The young boy turned around to see Mollie, two Poké Balls in her hand.
“Here. These are Crocalor and Meowscarada’s Poké Balls. They’ve had time to rest overnight, and I’d like you to return her to Liko while you’re at it.”
“Got it. I’ll make sure she’s back with her.”
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Liko felt so, so tired.
Her sleepless night, compounded with the struggle in Laqua, started to really leave their mark on her energy levels, and she found herself almost dozing off even despite her pain. And yet, she refused to let herself sleep. Every time she felt her head drop, she would open her window and let in the cold mountain air, swiftly waking her up. She didn’t really know why she was doing it, but she felt like it had something to do with her not feeling like she deserves to rest. She’s already being selfish and shutting herself in, not even letting her girlfriend in. She’s caused enough trouble. She needs some sort of punishment, she thought, not even bothering to tell herself that it’s wrong to think this way.
Right as she was about to doze off again, she was startled by a knock on her door, one distinctly different from Dot’s.
“Liko? It’s me, Roy.”
Oh. So she got someone else to go see her. Did she not care about her at all anymore?
“We’re about to head out and look for Friede… we’d really like it if you came.”
And do what? Bother him and everyone else with her pathetic self?
“...I have Meowscarada here with me. Could I hand her Poké Ball over to you?”
She’d probably be happier back at Marnya’s house, playing with the other cat Pokémon.
“...okay. I understand. It’s… hard for everyone right now. I’ll just let her out of her Poké Ball. Can you at least open the door for her?”
“Meow.”
“...” Defeated, Liko unlocked her door, then laid back down.
“...Thank you. Take care of yourself, okay? We’ll be back soon.”
After a minute or so, she heard the door open, and a familiar feline figure entered the room, sitting on the bed next to her.
“...I’m so worthless.”
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“...Any news?”
The sun was now setting on another painful day for the Rising Volt Tacklers. Dot and Roy sat quietly on a fallen tree as Orla called Mollie, hoping to get some sort of good news, which the exploration group was sorely lacking in.
“Unfortunately, no. We went and asked the locals, and no one had anything to say about Friede. Hell, all most of them did was give us the silent treatment and some bad looks… there was one kid who was eager to talk to us, though. That was helpful.”
Roy perked up for just a moment at the mention of who he assumed was his newest friend, but even that ray of light was quickly swallowed up by the clouds as he remembered that the nurse’s answer was a negative one.
“...I see. Same here, unfortunately… going back up to Laqua is just not a good idea, given the Explorers are definitely still stationed there.”
“...Do you think they might have him?” asked the Chansey Trainer, almost reluctantly.
“...I don’t know. That line of thinking won’t get us anywhere anyway.”
“I didn’t consider that!” Surprised by the sudden reaction, all three of the other Volt Tacklers directed their attention to a shaken Dot, who seemed almost possessed by an impulse to take on the world. “If they might have him, we need to take the fight to them again! We had time to rest, we can do this! Let’s just–”
“Out of the question!” Orla snapped back, almost angrily. “We are nowhere near back at full power. We’re split up into three groups, and even if we had everyone here, without Pagogo being able to help, them having the Six Heroes, and Liko’s mood being in the state it is… all we’d be doing is risking another casualty–”
“DON’T CALL IT THAT!” Dot exploded, before quickly covering her mouth with her hands, immediately regretting her choice of tone. “N-No, I mean– uh–”
Orla had tried to put on a brave facade around her crewmates. She had forced herself to stay determined. She knew Friede best, after all; they had been friends for so long. She also knew better than anyone that he wasn’t the type to die easy, but… she saw the fall firsthand. No one could have survived that. And yet… she wanted to hope. She wanted to staunchly deny the possibility of her best friend, her bickering and adventuring partner, one of the most important people in her life, being dead, but… how much of that was hope and how much was blind, foolish denial? Was she acting like a little girl, clinging on to her dolly through a nightmare? She had no room to be so pathetic.
“Orla– honey…” As a tear fell from her eye against her will, Orla wished she was alone in the ship’s engine room, checking the coal stocks for the fifteenth time today, like she had been the day before. Mollie’s pet names couldn’t even fully reach her now. Not knowing what to say to her kindness, Orla shot her a tearful look, and hung up, drying her eyes as best she could before turning back the way she came, motioning for Cap to follow her.
“Let’s… g-go back. Come on, kids.”
The walk back to the ship was nothing short of dreadful for Dot. She felt so many emotions fighting within her at once ever since Friede vanished among the clouds. She felt determined to find him and bring him back, she wanted to laugh at the very idea of him being dead, she wanted to cry because she knew that he probably was. But most of all, she felt angry. An all-consuming, soul-devouring anger that she just could not shake. All those complicated feelings of hers were morphed and absorbed by that anger. Now, instead, she wanted to rip Spinel’s heart out of his ribcage. She wanted to slap Orla for daring to suggest their leader would fall so easily. She wanted to do things to herself that she hadn’t considered doing in months for putting them in this situation in the first place, and failing to get them out of it once it happened. All she could feel was hate and fury. Her body felt like it was on fire.
She knew it wasn’t healthy, but she also felt anger towards Liko. Everyone’s hurting. Why the hell isn’t she doing her part? They’re all working their asses off, even the old man, and she gets to lounge around in bed? No. Not so fast. She needed to get this anger out somehow.
As the exploration team returned to the Brave Olivine, a force that quieted the meek Dot’s protests brought her to Liko’s door, not even bothering to tell Orla and Roy why she was going there. Her weak, pathetic self had her turn.
Now, the angry Dot gets to have her say.
-------------------------------------
The buzzing in Liko’s head would not stop.
Ever since Meowscarada had returned, and everyone else left to look for Friede, she felt a quiet buzz, almost like static, in the back of her head. No matter what she did, be it putting on music, opening the window to listen to the wild Pokémon outside and the soft breeze, or strictly nothing at all, it refused to go away. She could only assume it was either her insomnia really catching up with her, or her guilt for not helping peeking its head in despite her burying her feelings under several layers of dissociation. No matter what, she could not bother to move her body beyond going to her window and back. She could feel her weariness catching up with her, as well as her nerves. She was upset, she was devastated, she was starving, and yet she felt nothing, refused to show emotion, and could not bother to get anything her Pokémon brought her into her mouth. Her body was screaming at her, do something, cry, shout, punch something, gorge yourself, anything , but she simply could not muster up any energy.
And thus, as she won her hourly battle against her body’s impulses, she laid back down on her bed, resigned to stay here until she fell unconscious, be it from exhaustion or starvation. That is, until–
SLAM
Liko jolted up, her dissociation abruptly cut short by the sound of steel hitting the wall hard. Suddenly, her body was on high alert, and her lack of energy caused her to stumble backward, her head resting against the wall behind her bed as it spun. Meowscarada also stood up instantly, preparing to attack whoever was entering to protect her Trainer from harm. Once the girl’s vision settled again, however, she noticed that there in the doorframe stood Dot. Usually, when Dot stood there, she would shyly knock, as if she tried not to be noticed by anyone else, and then had a warm smile on her face as she asked to be let in. Perhaps she would even blush, having ideas as to what she wanted to do together with her beloved girlfriend. But this time… this time was different. Dot had not made herself known with a polite knock. She had thrown the door wide open, making a sound loud enough that it shook the very walls of her bedroom and undoubtedly notified anyone else on the aircraft at the moment that something was happening. Instead of flushed cheeks and a small smile, Dot gritted her teeth, seemingly beyond upset. Liko would have felt scared or apologetic, but yet again, her emotions settled into the cold fuzz of dissociation, as she was faced with opposition at a time of weakness.
“So? Did you have fun with your kitty while we were gone?” Dot started, venom in her voice.
“Mrrrrowr!”
“Meowscarada, return.” Liko, reaching out for her partner’s Poké Ball, did not even give the Magician Pokémon the chance to do anything. She looked back in surprise, as the red light enveloped her and she vanished into its resting place. “What do you mean…?”
“You know what I mean! We were all out looking for him and you stayed there!”
“...”
“Do you even care !? He might be… hurt, and you’re just locking yourself in! Do you have any idea how it makes us feel, too? Roy’s a mess! Orla won’t stop working, and Mollie won’t say a word! Do you just not care about helping them?”
“...That’s not it.”
“Then what is it!? Are you pissed? Because we couldn’t save him? Because it’s not like you did shit, either!” Dot’s voice momentarily shook, as she felt tears of anger well up, and the meekness inside her flashed to the surface, making her wonder why she was doing this. It wasn’t long before she buried it deep again, though, and Liko did not notice at all, her gaze firmly pointed at her own hands.
“That’s not it either.”
“You don’t even look sad! Do you have any feelings at all!?”
“...” Liko was almost inclined to agree, but she slowly felt one specific emotion rise out of the pool of nothingness that had become her conscience. She tried to push it down, however, knowing that speaking her mind would not–
“I hate you.”
“...What?”
Suddenly, the dam broke once again, and Dot poured her heart out against her own will. “I hate you! I’m falling apart and all you’re doing is sitting there and doing nothing! You won’t even talk to me! It’s not that easy for the rest of us, you know…!” Despite tears now flowing down her face, Dot’s voice shook even more, and she tried her best to hide her grief behind a quickly-crumbling mask of anger and resentment. Scrambling for any opportunity to appear angry rather than devastated, Dot searched her brain, her very soul for something, anything mean to say. “I– I’m sure he would hate you if he knew you weren’t searching for him, you selfish jerk!”
Liko heard a snap within her own head, as the cold fuzz dropped with her stomach, leaving only a flame in its wake. A small flame, that had grown more and more with every minute of Liko burying her pain deep within, and had now fully consumed her. She stood up quickly, her eyes failing her momentarily but nonetheless meeting Dot’s gaze, and she walked slowly to Dot, keeping her voice terrifyingly steady. “Dot. Did you come here solely because you wanted to take your anger out on me?”
“...” Dot kept quiet, guilt overtaking her.
“Answer me.” Liko hardly felt like herself, talking in a manner more reminiscent of a certain man she’d rather not admit whispers dark things in her mind to this day.
“I– well– I’m sorr–”
“I don’t want your excuses!” Dot shuddered as a look unlike anything she’d ever seen took over Liko’s face. Her pupils, usually so bright and sunny, narrowed and lost their warmth, and her teeth were pressed together so tightly she worried they might shatter. And yet, in a moment, the look vanished, and she returned to looking terrifyingly calm, even putting on a smile that felt horrifyingly fake. “Now, do you think that is any way to treat your girlfriend?”
“U-Um– no? I–”
“That’s right! Good job!” Now, she was beaming, though her eyes drowned in that darkness once again, making her usually beautiful smile send shivers down Dot’s spine. “What do you think we should do about that, then?”
Suddenly noticing where the blue-haired girl was headed, Dot felt a pit form in her stomach. Realizing what she’d done, she desperately tried to take back her words, lowering her gaze and bowing as if she was talking to her superior. “N-No, wait, I’m sorry! I didn’t know what I was saying, I–”
“That’s right.” Liko’s smile faded.
She could tell she wasn’t acting like herself. Such an outburst from her was unheard of. But the pain was simply too much to bear. Her mentor, her idol, hell, her other father had just died. Her best friend was broken inside. One of her Pokémon refused to come out. And now, her girlfriend, the one she cherishes most, the only thing that she even now believed could drag her out of her pain, was yelling at her, using her as an emotional punching bag. Enough. If she was doomed to suffer, she would burn everything away. She would make sure no one would ever come close to her again. And once the ground was properly salted, then…
“We’re done here, Dot. Get out of my room and never come back.”
…then, her next life would begin. In one way or another.
----------------------------------------------------
“ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ”
Roy felt his very soul shatter as Dot’s pained voice shook the ground beneath his feet. He had just planned to check on Liko, but when he approached, he heard… yelling? Liko and Dot were having an argument, and he knew he had to help however he could. But as he approached, and the scream threatened to shatter his eardrums, he knew he was too late. Before he could even process what just happened, he saw Dot, tears streaming down her face, run past him and shut herself in her room, getting naught but a single tear on his outstretched hand as he tried to reach out to her.
“D-Dot… what just–”
“Hat! HATTREM!!”
The young adventurer jumped as Hattrem’s voice cried out in pain, louder than he had ever heard. Soon enough, she hopped past him too, running away from her Trainer and towards the infirmary, likely to feel some sort of comfort in a quiet corner of the ship. No matter what it was that happened, it got so heated that the Serene Pokémon couldn’t handle it anymore, Roy thought. He was now being pulled in three directions, wanting to help his friends and their Pokémon as best as he could, but right as he decided to focus on Liko first–
SLAM
Once again, the door shook the walls of the ship as it was forcefully shoved back into its frame, a clear sign that she wanted to be alone.
Put simply, Roy was at a loss. Once again, he felt like he failed to help those who matter to him. The Black Rayquaza lost its Trainer and its allies. Cap lost his Trainer as well, who himself might have lost his life. And now… even he could tell that Liko and Dot’s friendship would not recover from this. Was he really so weak? So pathetic that nothing he could do could save anyone or anything? Feeling his body go limp, Roy shuffled away, his legs directing him back in the direction of his room, a single thought in his mind.
He had to get stronger. Stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger–
--------------------------------------------
Finally, after everything, Liko at last managed to fall asleep.
It might have been due to her mental state shattering beneath her feet, but she finally managed to actually get some rest, which let her emotions somewhat return to normal. When her eyes opened again, the first thing she felt was guilt. Painful, unimaginable guilt. What had she just said to Dot? To her partner, to her friend, to her crewmate, to her peer? She wanted to reach into the fabric of time itself and rewind everything, so she could take Dot’s anger and give love in return. Instead, she let her pain and grief consume her whole, and she made an irreversible mistake.
Meanwhile, it was Dot’s turn to feel empty. She had used Liko for her own selfish gain, and she had responded with what felt like an appropriate amount of force. And yet, she felt angry. Didn’t she know how hurt she was? Couldn’t she have allowed her this one moment of weakness? Were either of their actions justifiable? She had no answer to that last question. All she knew was that hurt was the only thing she could feel now, and not even Quaxwell and Tinkatuff’s insistence could convince her to get out of her bed, let alone her room.
Later that day, the Rising Volt Tacklers (save for Dot) reunited once again, and they all faced the fact that Friede was gone. Somehow, this did not come as a shock to anybody. Everyone seemed to have come to terms with that, at least well enough that they were not showing it beyond broken looks and a painfully heavy silence. With their leader gone, they all agreed that they had no reason to keep going, and parted ways, officially disbanding.
Liko was the first to leave the ship. Laqua had turned out to be relatively close to Paldea, and thus it made the most sense to start with dropping her off at her and her parents’ house. As she stood there, her back to the entrance, she looked over all her surviving ex-crewmates, and when she noticed Dot was also absent, her Pokémon there in her place, she felt a great wave of… something wash over her.
“I’m sorry we couldn’t… that everything… I’m sorry.” Murdock stumbled over his words, not sure what exactly to say.
“Take care of yourself, Liko.” Mollie, hoping not to share her friend’s awkwardness, kept it simple, though she did her best to force a smile.
“Though the sun sets, leaving room for the dark of night, be certain that it will rise again.” Philosophical as ever, Ludlow’s parting words hoped to carry meaning beyond his departure.
“...” Orla seemed to be battling with herself, as if she wanted to say five different sentences, but could not squeak out a single one. So she avoided the girl’s eyes, staring down and away from her.
Finally, Liko turned to Roy, the both of them silent as well. Liko flashed a sad smile at him, and he felt tears well up in his eyes again. Silently cursing his weakness once again, he hid them with his arm, and left it at that.
“...Thank you, everyone. It… was fun while it lasted. Take care of yourselves.”
Still wearing her smile, which was feeling faker by the minute, Liko finally turned away, and entered her house, leaving her home behind.
First, Lucius and Gibeon passed on. What should have been a bittersweet moment of silence for the Rising Volt Tacklers and their unlikely ally became a desperate scramble for survival as Spinel took control of Laqua, revealing the Laquium Spheres’ true purpose as he forced five of the Six Heroes to go berserk. Amethio left first, escaping on his Corviknight. Liko, Roy, Dot and Friede had to run, the might of these Pokémon of legend shattering the very ground beneath them, reducing this Pokémon paradise to ruin. No time to save the wild Pokémon. Have to run. Have to fly away. No time to think, no time to breathe, no time to grieve.
Against all odds, they make it out of the crater. What now? The drop is too big to simply jump off. Charizard and Kilowattrel are too tired to continue. The earthquakes make climbing down too dangerous. It’s cold, really cold. Dot’s not used to it, Liko’s reminded of her experience in that damned Glaseado cave, even Roy can feel the chill despite his fiery disposition. Friede tells them to look. The Brave Olivine? Can it really make it up there? The pressure is too much. But before their eyes, the ship transforms, revealing a reactor and propellers. It’s taking a lot of damage, but it’s going to make it! Maybe it will be alright, Liko allowed herself to think. He knew they could make it out okay, thought Roy. Dot’s racing heartbeat slowed just a little, thinking the worst of it was done.
The worst of it was not done.
It all happened in a flash. A strong gust of wind. The kids manage to just barely hang on to the ship, but Friede, Charizard and Cap are dragged to the back, the Flame Pokémon grabbing the edge at the very last moment. But he’s exhausted. They all are. He’s not going to make it. Friede can see that.
The kids can’t. Liko desperately reaches out, taking Cap from Friede when he extends his hand to give him away. Dot is hanging on to her waist, giving all the support she can so her girlfriend doesn’t go flying. Roy doesn’t know what to do, feeling like he’s too weak to be of any use. Orla, confused, heads out, expecting to have to yell at Friede to stop messing around and get inside.
Instead, she’s met with the sight of her childhood friend blowing away in the wind, like a leaf about to be torn apart by the elements themselves.
---------------------------------------------------------------
“FRIEDE!”
The cries of Liko’s very soul resounded in her friends’ ears, a painful reminder that this is indeed reality. It didn’t take long for the tragedy to have its effects on Roy and Dot, either. “AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” The former fell to his knees, letting tears stream down his face, screaming his lungs out, not knowing how to take the loss.
“R-Roy…” Orla cursed herself for not being Mollie, who always seemed to know what to say in these situations.
“...Out of the way, Orla.”
“U-Um– right. We should get in–”
“MOVE ALREADY!” Dot, rapidly losing her composure, shoved the mechanic to the side as she rapidly walked in the direction of the navigation room, her trembling legs seemingly not affecting her against all odds.
“...” As for Liko, ever since screaming her mentor’s name, she barely breathed, her eyes lifelessly staring in Laqua’s direction, hoping against hope to see him rise above the clouds on Charizard’s back, a smug look on his face. Her body was on the ship, but her mind was… somewhere else entirely, lost within the pain and the regret.
“Liko… Roy… come on. Let’s get inside.” Orla half-heartedly held back her own tears, taking each child’s hand in hers, and dragging them back inside with little resistance.
There are no words that could describe how pained Roy’s screams were. Even now, ten minutes after the tragedy, he was still screaming as loudly as he was seconds after he saw his idol’s smile fade, and his body vanish into the clouds. Without the sounds of the deafening wind in Liko and Orla’s ears, they felt louder still, but they didn’t have the heart to tell him to stop, or the energy to do much to comfort him. Liko barely had the energy to recognize that he was screaming at all.
But even louder than his desperate pleas for Friede to return were Roy’s thoughts. He wasn’t strong enough. If he’d trained more, done more, paid more attention… he could have stopped it. He could have ordered Crocalor to snatch the Spheres away from Spinel. He could have made Kilowattrel stronger, so he could carry his friends back to the base of the mountain on his own. He could’ve caught up with Friede on its back, preventing him from falling. But he was too weak, too pathetic, too useless to do anything. He was just an annoying kid who only distracted him from keeping himself alive. At least, that’s what he thought, as his throat began to hurt from his expressions of unhindered pain.
To Roy, he was the one to kill Friede with his own weak hands.
—--------------------------------------------------
“Okay, I think we’re out of the worst of it.” Murdock, relieved the ship didn’t fall apart, allowed himself to relax in his seat as he turned on the Brave Olivine’s autopilot. “As soon as we’re out of the mountain range, we’ll find somewhere to land to perform maintenance and then we’ll get ho–”
Suddenly, the door to the navigation room slammed open, startling Mollie and Ludlow, who were trying to calm the smaller Pokémon.
“Turn the ship around.” Dot coldly ordered, her face calm.
“Dot? I-I’m sorry, I can’t do that. It’s way too hectic out there to–”
“TURN THE FUCKING SHIP AROUND!”
Ordinarily, Murdock would scold, maybe even ground his niece for speaking to him in that tone. It certainly wasn’t the first time; especially before she befriended Liko and Roy, she had her bouts of anger, teenage angst beginning to rear its head, he thought. When she did that, he would usually take her Rotom Phone away, or make her eat with the crew instead of in her room like she usually did. He never knew if that was the right thing to do, but he did his best, as her loving uncle. But this time… this time, he stayed silent. It was probably impossible for the other two adults to hear it, but as her caretaker, the crew’s cook could hear something in the back of her tone, meekly hiding behind her unadulterated fury. Just for a fraction of a second, her voice trembled.
“Dot… did something ha–”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Roy’s voice resonated from the other side of the ship, startling everyone but Dot, and confirming Murdock’s concerns. Something happened. Something bad.
“TURN IT AROUND! TURN I-IT… t-turn… around…!” Slowly, the meek Dot came out of hiding, pushing the angry Dot to the side, and moving her body to her uncle’s, falling into his arms and clutching at his shirt, her tears bursting out of her, like a dam that finally broke. “Please…! P-Please, Uncle…! He’s… h-he’s…!”
“He’s… no… Friede…?” Not missing a beat, Murdock looked over at Mollie, who gave him a quiet nod, and made her way out of the room to go check on Liko and Roy.
“Murdock… Uncle…! Wh-Why…? I…! sob”
“Shhh… it’s all right, Dot, honey. It’s… all right…”
The cook forced himself to swallow his own grief, as he pulled the former shut-in into a tight hug. Right now, his niece needs him. He would have his time to mourn. But right now… he has to be there. He had never seen her so distraught. He had never heard her call him “Uncle” in that tone before. For his sister, for Dot’s friends, for Dot herself… he would be strong.
---------------------------------------------------
Liko did not sleep that night.
The events of the day were a blur to her. All she could remember after Friede’s dea… disappearance were Roy’s screams, Mollie saying… something to her, taking her to her room to talk, and her distantly nodding occasionally. Try as she might, she could not remember a thing of what she said. Eventually, she left, taking Meowscarada, Hattrem and Pagogo’s Poké Balls to care for them, and leaving her on her own. It must have taken her an hour to move from sitting to lying down in her bed, and another before she felt her conscience slowly returning to her body. When she could finally feel like she was present in the material world again, moving her fingers, then her wrist, then her arm, the first thing she did was cry softly into her pillow. She wanted to scream, to yell like her friends did, but she couldn’t find the strength to do that. So she simply quietly wept, staining her bedding with her tears, but not making a sound, as if she had to hide her pain from the world. Who knows what would happen if she was noticed. Maybe the world would take someone else from her.
Eventually, Mollie returned, dropping off Hattrem and Pagogo’s Poké Balls. The former didn’t get too roughed up, she said. But Liko felt something more in her heart die when she heard that Pagogo refused to come out of its Poké Ball. Great. Another friend she lost. Pushing down her unexpected (and uncomfortable) rise of anger, the young Trainer half-heartedly thanked Mollie, and told her to take care of Meowscarada for her.
As the moon fully rose in the sky, Liko still hadn’t slept a wink. Hattrem came out of its Poké Ball occasionally to check on her, feeling her Trainer’s pain, but the girl would recall her every time, wishing to be alone. She had never felt so… angry before. She didn’t even know what she was angry at. The world, for being cruel? Herself, for bringing everyone on this adventure, only to kill their leader? Pagogo, for not even bothering to check on her? Friede, for… no, she can’t be blaming her loved ones for suffering, too. And yet, the pain made her heart feel just a little more bitter every time she pushed it down.
She really didn’t understand anything about herself.
--------------------------------------------------
Eventually, the sun rose, and Dot tried her best to rouse from her slumber. She wouldn’t have slept, hell, she didn’t want to, but Murdock insisted on giving her some melatonin so she could rest and calm down. As much as she was loath to admit it, she did feel calmer now that she had some time to relax… she wondered if Liko and Roy managed to sleep, as well, as she quickly put on some clothes, determined to do her best to find Friede today. She had to try. If she tried her best, maybe they would get him back. And if she couldn’t… well, maybe burying herself in the search could keep her mind off the pain.
As she made her way to the living room, she noticed the ship was heartbreakingly quiet. There were no sounds of Roy training first thing in the morning coming from the deck. She couldn’t hear Murdock’s singing from the kitchen. While she surmised Orla was, indeed, in the engine room, her usual cheery encouragement of Carkol and Slugma was gone, replaced with sounds of a shovel hitting coal at about twice the rate. And, most importantly… she noticed Liko hadn’t come to check on her and wish her a good morning. It was pretty late in the morning, though, and she was always up before her… gathering her courage, she knocked on her door, hoping to be able to give her girlfriend her usual good morning kiss.
“Liko? Are you awake?”
“...”
“I… I was hoping we could hold a meeting with the others. You know, to talk about… everything. There has to be something we can do…”
“...”
“And… I miss you…”
“...”
No matter what she said, all Dot got in return was silence. That is, until she felt her Rotom Phone vibrate in her pocket. It was a message from… Liko? She quickly opened it, hoping she was texting her because she was elsewhere on the ship and none the wiser that the streamer was trying to reach out to her.
“Please leave me alone.”
Dot felt a sting through her heart, like a poisoned arrow was shot directly at it. She felt upset, but she buried it deep inside, not wanting to make this any harder on her beloved.
“Okay… I’ll come get you when we head out to look for him. You can rest for now.”
“...”
“...I love you…”
“...”
Defeated, Dot left her partner alone, and went to check on the other members. Surely, they wouldn’t be as hard on her…
…Right?
--------------------------------------------------
“Thank you all for coming.”
Roy tried his best to sit up straight as Dot began to talk to the… remaining Rising Volt Tacklers. Everyone surprisingly managed to come, with the notable exception of Liko. The streamer was worried that other people were going to be too buried in their grief to attend, but they all made the effort, even those who looked like they hadn’t slept a wink, which was… most of them. Seeing this, she decided to take the lead on the rescue operation. Plus, being so responsible for the search left her unable to think about… other things.
Roy couldn’t help but be impressed by Dot’s composure. She really had grown so much since him and Liko had to drag her out of her room. Now, she was the crew’s bona fide strategist, coming up with plans and putting them into action. Meanwhile, what was he doing? He was the ship’s resident meathead, always talking about battling and training… and for what? The Black Rayquaza didn’t come with him. Laqua fell. Liko won’t come out of her room. Friede is… gone. He was too weak to save him. Too pathetic to make a difference. He had to get stronger. Stronger and stronger and stronger and–
“Roy?”
“Ah–” Snapping out of his spiral, Roy noticed everyone was looking at him, a concerned look on their faces. He felt something wet roll down his cheek. Had he been… crying? “Um– sorry, I-I–”
“It’s all right, Roy,” Mollie interrupted. “I understand. We all do. Do you need some time?”
“N-No!” he replied, though it came out more… loudly than he expected or intended. “I’m fine. Please, continue.”
“Okay. So, as I was saying, I know this is a difficult time, to put it lightly… but the more we allow ourselves to grieve, the less likely we are to be able to find Friede. We know him. He’s not the type to die on us so easily. I… I have to believe he’s still alive.”
“...Yeah.” Orla half-heartedly responded. Roy could tell no one in the room fully believed her, not even Dot herself, but they all wanted to believe it, and so they hoped against hope.
“So… I’d like us to split into two teams. One will explore Pericarp Mountain on foot, trying to find any signs of him. That team will be composed of our strongest battlers. So Roy, Orla, and myself. I think Cap should come with us too.”
Roy felt the urge to deny that he was anywhere close to a “strong battler”, given his results, but he kept it to himself, not wanting to derail the conversation. Instead, he decided to add to the meeting. “What about Liko?”
“I… would like her to come with us, but… I’m not sure she will. Actually, I’d like you to go check on her before we leave. Maybe you could convince her to come out of her room.”
“I can try.”
“As for the second team… Murdock, Mollie and Ludlow will go into Pericarp Town, and talk to the locals. Maybe one of them rescued Friede, and is nursing him back to health… or something. I thought of searching from the skies, but the ship is in bad shape, and it’s not like we could get much higher than we already are without outright destroying it anyway.”
“You can count on us.” replied Ludlow, a determined glint in his eye.
“Alright. Thank you, everyone. I’m glad we can still work together, even at a time like this.” Satisfied with the meeting, Dot began the Rising Volt Tacklers’s signature handshake, everyone else joining in as well, and the crew parted ways, getting ready for their search.
“Roy?”
“Hm?” The young boy turned around to see Mollie, two Poké Balls in her hand.
“Here. These are Crocalor and Meowscarada’s Poké Balls. They’ve had time to rest overnight, and I’d like you to return her to Liko while you’re at it.”
“Got it. I’ll make sure she’s back with her.”
------------------------------------------------------
Liko felt so, so tired.
Her sleepless night, compounded with the struggle in Laqua, started to really leave their mark on her energy levels, and she found herself almost dozing off even despite her pain. And yet, she refused to let herself sleep. Every time she felt her head drop, she would open her window and let in the cold mountain air, swiftly waking her up. She didn’t really know why she was doing it, but she felt like it had something to do with her not feeling like she deserves to rest. She’s already being selfish and shutting herself in, not even letting her girlfriend in. She’s caused enough trouble. She needs some sort of punishment, she thought, not even bothering to tell herself that it’s wrong to think this way.
Right as she was about to doze off again, she was startled by a knock on her door, one distinctly different from Dot’s.
“Liko? It’s me, Roy.”
Oh. So she got someone else to go see her. Did she not care about her at all anymore?
“We’re about to head out and look for Friede… we’d really like it if you came.”
And do what? Bother him and everyone else with her pathetic self?
“...I have Meowscarada here with me. Could I hand her Poké Ball over to you?”
She’d probably be happier back at Marnya’s house, playing with the other cat Pokémon.
“...okay. I understand. It’s… hard for everyone right now. I’ll just let her out of her Poké Ball. Can you at least open the door for her?”
“Meow.”
“...” Defeated, Liko unlocked her door, then laid back down.
“...Thank you. Take care of yourself, okay? We’ll be back soon.”
After a minute or so, she heard the door open, and a familiar feline figure entered the room, sitting on the bed next to her.
“...I’m so worthless.”
----------------------------------------------------------
“...Any news?”
The sun was now setting on another painful day for the Rising Volt Tacklers. Dot and Roy sat quietly on a fallen tree as Orla called Mollie, hoping to get some sort of good news, which the exploration group was sorely lacking in.
“Unfortunately, no. We went and asked the locals, and no one had anything to say about Friede. Hell, all most of them did was give us the silent treatment and some bad looks… there was one kid who was eager to talk to us, though. That was helpful.”
Roy perked up for just a moment at the mention of who he assumed was his newest friend, but even that ray of light was quickly swallowed up by the clouds as he remembered that the nurse’s answer was a negative one.
“...I see. Same here, unfortunately… going back up to Laqua is just not a good idea, given the Explorers are definitely still stationed there.”
“...Do you think they might have him?” asked the Chansey Trainer, almost reluctantly.
“...I don’t know. That line of thinking won’t get us anywhere anyway.”
“I didn’t consider that!” Surprised by the sudden reaction, all three of the other Volt Tacklers directed their attention to a shaken Dot, who seemed almost possessed by an impulse to take on the world. “If they might have him, we need to take the fight to them again! We had time to rest, we can do this! Let’s just–”
“Out of the question!” Orla snapped back, almost angrily. “We are nowhere near back at full power. We’re split up into three groups, and even if we had everyone here, without Pagogo being able to help, them having the Six Heroes, and Liko’s mood being in the state it is… all we’d be doing is risking another casualty–”
“DON’T CALL IT THAT!” Dot exploded, before quickly covering her mouth with her hands, immediately regretting her choice of tone. “N-No, I mean– uh–”
Orla had tried to put on a brave facade around her crewmates. She had forced herself to stay determined. She knew Friede best, after all; they had been friends for so long. She also knew better than anyone that he wasn’t the type to die easy, but… she saw the fall firsthand. No one could have survived that. And yet… she wanted to hope. She wanted to staunchly deny the possibility of her best friend, her bickering and adventuring partner, one of the most important people in her life, being dead, but… how much of that was hope and how much was blind, foolish denial? Was she acting like a little girl, clinging on to her dolly through a nightmare? She had no room to be so pathetic.
“Orla– honey…” As a tear fell from her eye against her will, Orla wished she was alone in the ship’s engine room, checking the coal stocks for the fifteenth time today, like she had been the day before. Mollie’s pet names couldn’t even fully reach her now. Not knowing what to say to her kindness, Orla shot her a tearful look, and hung up, drying her eyes as best she could before turning back the way she came, motioning for Cap to follow her.
“Let’s… g-go back. Come on, kids.”
The walk back to the ship was nothing short of dreadful for Dot. She felt so many emotions fighting within her at once ever since Friede vanished among the clouds. She felt determined to find him and bring him back, she wanted to laugh at the very idea of him being dead, she wanted to cry because she knew that he probably was. But most of all, she felt angry. An all-consuming, soul-devouring anger that she just could not shake. All those complicated feelings of hers were morphed and absorbed by that anger. Now, instead, she wanted to rip Spinel’s heart out of his ribcage. She wanted to slap Orla for daring to suggest their leader would fall so easily. She wanted to do things to herself that she hadn’t considered doing in months for putting them in this situation in the first place, and failing to get them out of it once it happened. All she could feel was hate and fury. Her body felt like it was on fire.
She knew it wasn’t healthy, but she also felt anger towards Liko. Everyone’s hurting. Why the hell isn’t she doing her part? They’re all working their asses off, even the old man, and she gets to lounge around in bed? No. Not so fast. She needed to get this anger out somehow.
As the exploration team returned to the Brave Olivine, a force that quieted the meek Dot’s protests brought her to Liko’s door, not even bothering to tell Orla and Roy why she was going there. Her weak, pathetic self had her turn.
Now, the angry Dot gets to have her say.
-------------------------------------
The buzzing in Liko’s head would not stop.
Ever since Meowscarada had returned, and everyone else left to look for Friede, she felt a quiet buzz, almost like static, in the back of her head. No matter what she did, be it putting on music, opening the window to listen to the wild Pokémon outside and the soft breeze, or strictly nothing at all, it refused to go away. She could only assume it was either her insomnia really catching up with her, or her guilt for not helping peeking its head in despite her burying her feelings under several layers of dissociation. No matter what, she could not bother to move her body beyond going to her window and back. She could feel her weariness catching up with her, as well as her nerves. She was upset, she was devastated, she was starving, and yet she felt nothing, refused to show emotion, and could not bother to get anything her Pokémon brought her into her mouth. Her body was screaming at her, do something, cry, shout, punch something, gorge yourself, anything , but she simply could not muster up any energy.
And thus, as she won her hourly battle against her body’s impulses, she laid back down on her bed, resigned to stay here until she fell unconscious, be it from exhaustion or starvation. That is, until–
SLAM
Liko jolted up, her dissociation abruptly cut short by the sound of steel hitting the wall hard. Suddenly, her body was on high alert, and her lack of energy caused her to stumble backward, her head resting against the wall behind her bed as it spun. Meowscarada also stood up instantly, preparing to attack whoever was entering to protect her Trainer from harm. Once the girl’s vision settled again, however, she noticed that there in the doorframe stood Dot. Usually, when Dot stood there, she would shyly knock, as if she tried not to be noticed by anyone else, and then had a warm smile on her face as she asked to be let in. Perhaps she would even blush, having ideas as to what she wanted to do together with her beloved girlfriend. But this time… this time was different. Dot had not made herself known with a polite knock. She had thrown the door wide open, making a sound loud enough that it shook the very walls of her bedroom and undoubtedly notified anyone else on the aircraft at the moment that something was happening. Instead of flushed cheeks and a small smile, Dot gritted her teeth, seemingly beyond upset. Liko would have felt scared or apologetic, but yet again, her emotions settled into the cold fuzz of dissociation, as she was faced with opposition at a time of weakness.
“So? Did you have fun with your kitty while we were gone?” Dot started, venom in her voice.
“Mrrrrowr!”
“Meowscarada, return.” Liko, reaching out for her partner’s Poké Ball, did not even give the Magician Pokémon the chance to do anything. She looked back in surprise, as the red light enveloped her and she vanished into its resting place. “What do you mean…?”
“You know what I mean! We were all out looking for him and you stayed there!”
“...”
“Do you even care !? He might be… hurt, and you’re just locking yourself in! Do you have any idea how it makes us feel, too? Roy’s a mess! Orla won’t stop working, and Mollie won’t say a word! Do you just not care about helping them?”
“...That’s not it.”
“Then what is it!? Are you pissed? Because we couldn’t save him? Because it’s not like you did shit, either!” Dot’s voice momentarily shook, as she felt tears of anger well up, and the meekness inside her flashed to the surface, making her wonder why she was doing this. It wasn’t long before she buried it deep again, though, and Liko did not notice at all, her gaze firmly pointed at her own hands.
“That’s not it either.”
“You don’t even look sad! Do you have any feelings at all!?”
“...” Liko was almost inclined to agree, but she slowly felt one specific emotion rise out of the pool of nothingness that had become her conscience. She tried to push it down, however, knowing that speaking her mind would not–
“I hate you.”
“...What?”
Suddenly, the dam broke once again, and Dot poured her heart out against her own will. “I hate you! I’m falling apart and all you’re doing is sitting there and doing nothing! You won’t even talk to me! It’s not that easy for the rest of us, you know…!” Despite tears now flowing down her face, Dot’s voice shook even more, and she tried her best to hide her grief behind a quickly-crumbling mask of anger and resentment. Scrambling for any opportunity to appear angry rather than devastated, Dot searched her brain, her very soul for something, anything mean to say. “I– I’m sure he would hate you if he knew you weren’t searching for him, you selfish jerk!”
Liko heard a snap within her own head, as the cold fuzz dropped with her stomach, leaving only a flame in its wake. A small flame, that had grown more and more with every minute of Liko burying her pain deep within, and had now fully consumed her. She stood up quickly, her eyes failing her momentarily but nonetheless meeting Dot’s gaze, and she walked slowly to Dot, keeping her voice terrifyingly steady. “Dot. Did you come here solely because you wanted to take your anger out on me?”
“...” Dot kept quiet, guilt overtaking her.
“Answer me.” Liko hardly felt like herself, talking in a manner more reminiscent of a certain man she’d rather not admit whispers dark things in her mind to this day.
“I– well– I’m sorr–”
“I don’t want your excuses!” Dot shuddered as a look unlike anything she’d ever seen took over Liko’s face. Her pupils, usually so bright and sunny, narrowed and lost their warmth, and her teeth were pressed together so tightly she worried they might shatter. And yet, in a moment, the look vanished, and she returned to looking terrifyingly calm, even putting on a smile that felt horrifyingly fake. “Now, do you think that is any way to treat your girlfriend?”
“U-Um– no? I–”
“That’s right! Good job!” Now, she was beaming, though her eyes drowned in that darkness once again, making her usually beautiful smile send shivers down Dot’s spine. “What do you think we should do about that, then?”
Suddenly noticing where the blue-haired girl was headed, Dot felt a pit form in her stomach. Realizing what she’d done, she desperately tried to take back her words, lowering her gaze and bowing as if she was talking to her superior. “N-No, wait, I’m sorry! I didn’t know what I was saying, I–”
“That’s right.” Liko’s smile faded.
She could tell she wasn’t acting like herself. Such an outburst from her was unheard of. But the pain was simply too much to bear. Her mentor, her idol, hell, her other father had just died. Her best friend was broken inside. One of her Pokémon refused to come out. And now, her girlfriend, the one she cherishes most, the only thing that she even now believed could drag her out of her pain, was yelling at her, using her as an emotional punching bag. Enough. If she was doomed to suffer, she would burn everything away. She would make sure no one would ever come close to her again. And once the ground was properly salted, then…
“We’re done here, Dot. Get out of my room and never come back.”
…then, her next life would begin. In one way or another.
----------------------------------------------------
“ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ”
Roy felt his very soul shatter as Dot’s pained voice shook the ground beneath his feet. He had just planned to check on Liko, but when he approached, he heard… yelling? Liko and Dot were having an argument, and he knew he had to help however he could. But as he approached, and the scream threatened to shatter his eardrums, he knew he was too late. Before he could even process what just happened, he saw Dot, tears streaming down her face, run past him and shut herself in her room, getting naught but a single tear on his outstretched hand as he tried to reach out to her.
“D-Dot… what just–”
“Hat! HATTREM!!”
The young adventurer jumped as Hattrem’s voice cried out in pain, louder than he had ever heard. Soon enough, she hopped past him too, running away from her Trainer and towards the infirmary, likely to feel some sort of comfort in a quiet corner of the ship. No matter what it was that happened, it got so heated that the Serene Pokémon couldn’t handle it anymore, Roy thought. He was now being pulled in three directions, wanting to help his friends and their Pokémon as best as he could, but right as he decided to focus on Liko first–
SLAM
Once again, the door shook the walls of the ship as it was forcefully shoved back into its frame, a clear sign that she wanted to be alone.
Put simply, Roy was at a loss. Once again, he felt like he failed to help those who matter to him. The Black Rayquaza lost its Trainer and its allies. Cap lost his Trainer as well, who himself might have lost his life. And now… even he could tell that Liko and Dot’s friendship would not recover from this. Was he really so weak? So pathetic that nothing he could do could save anyone or anything? Feeling his body go limp, Roy shuffled away, his legs directing him back in the direction of his room, a single thought in his mind.
He had to get stronger. Stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger–
--------------------------------------------
Finally, after everything, Liko at last managed to fall asleep.
It might have been due to her mental state shattering beneath her feet, but she finally managed to actually get some rest, which let her emotions somewhat return to normal. When her eyes opened again, the first thing she felt was guilt. Painful, unimaginable guilt. What had she just said to Dot? To her partner, to her friend, to her crewmate, to her peer? She wanted to reach into the fabric of time itself and rewind everything, so she could take Dot’s anger and give love in return. Instead, she let her pain and grief consume her whole, and she made an irreversible mistake.
Meanwhile, it was Dot’s turn to feel empty. She had used Liko for her own selfish gain, and she had responded with what felt like an appropriate amount of force. And yet, she felt angry. Didn’t she know how hurt she was? Couldn’t she have allowed her this one moment of weakness? Were either of their actions justifiable? She had no answer to that last question. All she knew was that hurt was the only thing she could feel now, and not even Quaxwell and Tinkatuff’s insistence could convince her to get out of her bed, let alone her room.
Later that day, the Rising Volt Tacklers (save for Dot) reunited once again, and they all faced the fact that Friede was gone. Somehow, this did not come as a shock to anybody. Everyone seemed to have come to terms with that, at least well enough that they were not showing it beyond broken looks and a painfully heavy silence. With their leader gone, they all agreed that they had no reason to keep going, and parted ways, officially disbanding.
Liko was the first to leave the ship. Laqua had turned out to be relatively close to Paldea, and thus it made the most sense to start with dropping her off at her and her parents’ house. As she stood there, her back to the entrance, she looked over all her surviving ex-crewmates, and when she noticed Dot was also absent, her Pokémon there in her place, she felt a great wave of… something wash over her.
“I’m sorry we couldn’t… that everything… I’m sorry.” Murdock stumbled over his words, not sure what exactly to say.
“Take care of yourself, Liko.” Mollie, hoping not to share her friend’s awkwardness, kept it simple, though she did her best to force a smile.
“Though the sun sets, leaving room for the dark of night, be certain that it will rise again.” Philosophical as ever, Ludlow’s parting words hoped to carry meaning beyond his departure.
“...” Orla seemed to be battling with herself, as if she wanted to say five different sentences, but could not squeak out a single one. So she avoided the girl’s eyes, staring down and away from her.
Finally, Liko turned to Roy, the both of them silent as well. Liko flashed a sad smile at him, and he felt tears well up in his eyes again. Silently cursing his weakness once again, he hid them with his arm, and left it at that.
“...Thank you, everyone. It… was fun while it lasted. Take care of yourselves.”
Still wearing her smile, which was feeling faker by the minute, Liko finally turned away, and entered her house, leaving her home behind.
“...I see.”
Franka stood silent in front of her home, stunned by the revelations her brother had for her. So… Friede was gone? She always knew that young professor was reckless, but to think he’d meet his end so young… she was shocked to hear it.
“I’m sorry to hear, Big Bro. I really don’t know what to say…”
“It’s… fine. It’s been complicated for all of us,” the ex-Volt Tackler explained, “and that’s why we’ve decided to disband.”
“Disband!?”
“Yeah. We decided old man Ludlow would keep the ship. It was his originally, after all. Orla and him went all the way to Akala Island to drop us off, and now I’m doing the same for your little one.”
“...” Dot remained quiet as her family members talked about her, now. She didn’t have the energy or the heart to say anything. What could she say? That she failed to be helpful to Friede, and now he was dead? She could already figure that out. That she failed at making friends, too, and is now on beyond horrible terms with her ex-girlfriend? Was she supposed to sing and dance as she did so, too? No. Staying quiet was the only option.
“I understand. I’m happy to get my beloved daughter back, of course~. And, Big Bro… if you ever need to talk about anything–”
“Excuse me.” The streamer, not wishing to hear a word of her mother’s commiserating, made her way past her to get inside, dragging a suitcase full of props, clothes and… other things… into the house, leaving the rest of her belongings with them to be carried later.
“Ah– um– talk to you later, Big Bro! I’ll take care of Dot now!”
“Don’t–” slam “...overdo it, Franka.”
-------------------------------------------
As Dot made her way to her room, her mother hounded her with questions, each feeling more uncomfortable than the last.
“Dot, honey, do you want me to make you your favorite meal tonight– oh, right, you don’t like to eat much, do you…?”
“...” Franka didn’t know she warmed up to food, now.
“Um… did you have a good time on your adventure? You must have learned a lot, and seen so much!”
“...I guess.” She didn’t know she didn’t feel like talking about it, either.
“D-Do you need help with your suitcase? It looks heavy…! Dragging it up the stairs must be hard for you!”
“It isn’t.” She didn’t know she bulked up at least enough to be able to carry a suitcase up a small staircase at least, either.
“A-And what about your friends? How are they doing? I’d love to hear more about them! Roy and… what was that girl’s name again? Ah, right, Li–”
Dot felt her muscles tense up, as her suitcase tumbled helplessly past the two and back to the ground floor with a heavy thud.
“Just SHUT UP, MOM!”
“Dot–”
“Shut the HELL UP! You don’t know ANYTHING about me, or them, or what happened between us! Stay out of my business and let me waste away in peace!”
“What do you mean?” Turning away, the once-more shut-in ran away from her mother, opening her old bedroom’s door and quickly finding its lock, performing a motion she was once used to, and was sure to get used to again. “Dot!”
As Franka stood in silence halfway up the staircase, she felt a pain in her heart she had just begun to forget: the pain of not being able to help your daughter. Defeated, she made her way back down, carried the suitcase fully up the stairs, and silently put it down next to her child’s room, a pit in her stomach.
One day, she would be better… right?
----------------------------------------------
One week later
Franka paced helplessly in circles in the living room as she anxiously awaited her visitor. It had now been seven days since Dot had moved back in with her, and she must have seen her only twice or thrice in that time. She knew she did not need to worry overly much about her, as she noticed food disappearing overnight (despite Dot’s efforts to hide such a thing), but she could tell from those handful of times that she had grown paler, and her eye bags could be seen even through her long bangs. A few days in, she had even kicked out both of her Pokémon, and they now walked around sadly in the backyard, Lycanroc desperately trying to cheer them up and play, or spar, or do anything . Unsure what to do, given that any discussion, through the door or otherwise, ended in an argument, she had reached out to her brother once again, in hopes that he may be able to do something, anything to bring back that young girl that spoke such sunny words in emails as she was headed to Laqua, just a week or so ago.
knock knock knock
“Ah–” Almost tripping over her own slippers as she ran for the door, Franka smiled brightly as the comforting face of her older sibling appeared behind it. “Big Bro! Am I glad to see you!”
“Me too, Franka. Good afternoon.” The two exchanged a quick gesture, as is customary in Alola, before coming back inside and sitting down on the couch. “So, you were telling me that Dot’s been…?”
“Shutting herself in again, yeah. You were telling me in your reports that she hadn’t been doing that as much, right?”
“Yeah, ever since she left for her Terastal Training, she’s been much more outgoing and… well, not “outdoorsy”, she’s still Dot, but… she would spend a lot of time with the other kids on the ship, having fun and battling, or simply chatting. By the end, the only times she would be in her room for hours at a time was when she had to film her videos.”
“I see. That’s… disheartening.”
“Has it really been that bad?”
“...Mhm.” Franka’s quiet response and downcast expression spoke volumes to Murdock, as he was used to her never stopping to breathe whenever she had to speak. “That’s why I asked you to come. Maybe you c-can bring my baby back.” Stifling a sob, Franka tried to compose herself, but her anxiety proved to be too much for her, and she failed, reaching for a hug.
“Franka… there, there. It’ll be all right.” The cook wanted to get on his sister’s case for being so emotional, but he couldn’t help but be concerned himself. Of course, he could tell this was all very hard on Dot, but for her to relapse this hard and this fast…? He couldn’t help but give more focus to a concern he had during his final days aboard the ship. “I… might have an idea what’s going on. Can I go upstairs and try to talk to Dot?”
“hic Y-Yes, of course. She should be up now… I think.”
So her sleep schedule’s been shot as well? Murdock took a deep breath, and with a quick thank you, made his way upstairs, navigating the dim corridor until he reached a door with a familiar blue light emanating from behind it.
As he prepared to knock, he couldn't help but bring his ear to the door, making sure he wasn’t disturbing her during something important, like a Nidothing stream. Behind it, he didn’t hear much, save for… a voice? Her voice. Was she talking to someone on the phone?
“...ridiculous, isn’t it? I can tell. I haven’t thought like that in so long. But I don’t want to admit it. I can’t deal with that again. I can’t!”
…No. She wasn’t making time for anyone to respond. She must be talking to herself, Murdock thought.
“I still have… from back then… can’t… I’ll…” It became more difficult for him to hear his niece, as her voice turned from speaking to a lower, quieter mumble. “sob”
Hearing her seemingly begin to cry, the burly man knew he had heard enough. Softly knocking on the door, he did his best to appear as non-threatening as possible. “Dot? It’s me, your uncle. Franka and I are worried about you… may I come in, please?”
“G-Go away. Why are you even here, anyway?”
“Please, Dot. I promise, I won’t get you to leave your room. I just want to talk.”
“...” Murdock was left in silence for a little while, stewing in his worries that she wouldn’t open the door to even him, despite them growing so much closer over their journeys. But eventually, he heard a soft click as Dot unlocked her door, and slowly opened it, returning back to her bed as she let her uncle in.
The former Volt Tackler could not believe his eyes as he entered. The room was a pigsty, a big departure from her living quarters on the ship, which were always neatly organized. Empty packs of various snacks were strewn across the floor, and where there weren’t, clothes and props filled in to make sure the floor was barely visible. Nidothing’s costume lay in a pile in one corner of the room, with no care put in for its maintenance or cleanliness. A faint smell of sweat pervaded the room, and sunlight only barely sneaked in through the fully-closed blinds, Dot’s bright computer screen taking the role of the major light source. Dot was sitting on her bed, her back turned and her knees brought close to her face.
“What do you want?”
“Dot… I was just worried about you, and wanted to check on you.” That was true, of course, but he purposely omitted any mention of her mother, so as to not set her off with claims of only being here because of her.
“...”
“Do you want to… talk about everything?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“...” Seemingly, Dot did not expect that question, as she raised her head in surprise, though still not turning around to meet her uncle’s gaze. “I don’t know. Too much hassle, I guess.”
“I see. Do you mind if I talk, then?”
“...”
Taking her silence as a “yes”, Murdock sat down on the other end of the bed, and started chatting with the shut-in, hoping to make her more comfortable. “Well, this past week, I’ve contacted Mitchell, my old buddy from the Galar region. I asked him if he wanted to move in with me here in Alola, and he said yes! We’ll be opening our own pâtisserie here in about a month.”
“Good for you, I guess.”
“...It’s been lonely lately, hasn’t it?”
“...!”
“Disbanding, seeing everyone leave to do their own thing… losing Friede… it’s been hard. Do you feel the same way, Dot?”
“...I… maybe.”
“What is it you miss the most from back then?”
Liko, of course. God, Dot missed Liko so much. The sunny, happy, determined, sappy Liko. The Liko that literally dragged her around to look for curry ingredients. The Liko who would talk for hours about Nidothing. The Liko who blushed so adorably when they got together on New Year’s. She missed Liko so, so much. “I don’t know… the wild Pokémon, I guess.” Dot lied.
Murdock, not falling for it, did not miss a beat. “Tell me, Dot… did something happen between you and Liko?”
“Wha–”
“It might just be me, but… something sprung out to me. It was a small thing. But when we were all packing, I passed by the part of the ship where yours and the other kids’ rooms were. You were all moving to-and-fro, busily putting everything away in the boxes we had left in the corridor for you. And when I was passing by… you and Liko both reached for a box at the same time.”
“You saw that…?”
“Mhm. And… when your eyes met, it was like neither of you really saw the other. You just reached forward faster, snatched the box away, and walked back to your room.”
“...so the secret’s out, huh?”
“Please, Dot. Tell me everything. If it’s what I think it is, it must be weighing on you–”
“Get out.”
“H-Huh!?” Murdock couldn’t help but be shocked by the rejection. He thought he was making progress, but…
“Get out! I don’t want to talk about this with anybody !” Finally turning around, Dot stood up, and pulled as best she can on her uncle’s arm to get him up and out of her space.
“Y-You can’t keep everything bottled up! It’ll only hurt more!”
“Just watch me!” Finally pushing him out of her room, Dot slammed the door in her uncle’s face, the lock’s sound loudly resonating.
Of course Dot couldn’t talk about this. If they knew… if they knew, they would think so much less of her. They would think less of the girl with anger issues that bullied her grieving girlfriend into breaking up with her. They’d think less of the same girl, who still had yet to apologize. Though, she didn’t know why she was bothering to hide it. If she told them, maybe they’d finally leave her to rot.
After all, she knew deep down that she would never get better.
--------------------------------------
One month later
It was a good thing that Dot always kept a backlog of Nidothing videos.
The past month had done a number on her productivity, and she was only just now getting back on her feet. She still didn’t set foot outside her room, gods no, but she at least could find the energy to script and edit new videos for her channel. Though she was running out of footage to edit…
“That’s strange… I swear I had more footage than this. Oh, right, I put some in this folder–” Rushing her computer mouse to the corner of her desktop, she double-clicked on a folder, but the different surface her equipment was resting on compared to her old desk on the ship made her slip just an inch to the right, and she accidentally opened a different folder, one containing…
Before she could react, a folder filled with pictures of Liko opened itself, peppering the screen with thumbnails of the last face she wished to see right now. And yet, the purple-haired girl couldn’t look away. Something about her bright eyes, her wide smile, it all still drew her to lose herself in her. She absentmindedly scrolled for what felt like hours, and only once she could not scroll any further, did she snap out of it, and closed the folder in a hurry.
“I– No! I can’t be thinking about her. It’s over. I… can’t…” Burying her hands in the hair on the sides of her head, Dot tried her best to contain her breathing. “...Okay. No more Liko. I’m focusing on work from now on. It’s… what’s best. But… Do I have the energy to do this right now…?”
Turning to her costume, she felt her chest tighten. It had been so long since she last recorded… last time she did, she had to stop midway because… that’s right, they were arriving in Laqua. She remembered rushing out to the deck, feeling the clouds wet her hair, and finally seeing Kumuri Mountain with her own two eyes… and then Liko wrapped her arms around her, and she looked so damn happy to be here with her, and she couldn’t help but kiss –
“I-I should go get Quaxwell and Tinkatuff. I need to make new memories so I can replace these.” Shaking off the increasingly passionate thoughts of her ex, Dot abruptly got up, and stepped outside to retrieve her partners.
“Quax!”
“Tinka!” The two of them were overjoyed to see their Trainer after so long, running to her and hugging her the moment they could.
Even Dot couldn’t help but crack a smile at such a display of love. “Haha, hi, you two. I’m sorry I left you alone so long… it’s been… tough.” Deep down, she felt an immense amount of guilt for abandoning her partners, her friends, for such a long time, but she did her best to not show it, so as not to worry them even more.
“Qua-qua.” Neither of them seemed to hold any grudges, and only held her tighter as she apologized.
“You… th-thank you,” the shut-in blushed, before pulling away, gesturing for them to follow her. “Okay, come on, we’ve got work to do!”
As she opened the door to her bedroom and stepped inside again, she noticed her Pokémon hesitated before following her. “What’s wrong, you two?”
“Q-Qua…”
“Huh? Something about a smell…?” Dot looked around, sniffing the air here and there, before recoiling in disgust. “O-Okay, maybe it’s more of a mess here than I thought… Quaxwell, can you clean up here? Tinkatuff, get the props, I put them in the closet over there. And don’t play with anything metallic you find in there! I’ll take care of the costume.”
“Tinka!”
As the three of them tackled their respective duties, Dot almost felt a sense of normalcy return. Seeing her Pokémon scurrying about, Quaxwell slowly getting happier as the place got cleaner, Tinkatuff setting up the lights so she can film… it brought a warm smile to her face.
“Oh, right, I need to work too. Let me just put this on and– huh?” As she reached for the zipper and opened the Nidothing suit, she noticed a small, rectangular light blue box hiding in one of the legs that she didn’t remember putting there. “What’s–” Pulling it out, she quickly noticed something deeply familiar about it, and she dropped it instinctively, its contents scattering on the floor. Before her eyes were all kinds of souvenirs of her time on the ship… together with Liko. Printed pictures of Dot and her together, landscapes from all over the world behind them. Various items collected along the way, from a pressed flower from their first date in an open field in Kalos, to a cute keychain from a matching set they bought for each other while passing through a busy Kantonian city, even a simple, sharp rock from the foot of Oni Mountain– she had vivid memories of the origin of each and every one of these seemingly insignificant items.
And it all assaulted her mind, harder than any Pokémon move ever could.
“Aah– ENOUGH!” Throwing everything further from her, she collapsed to the floor, and let out a pained scream, drawing the attention of her Pokémon. “I don’t WANT any more memories! I don’t WANT to remember her anymore! Just let me MOVE ON! I– ah–!” While trying to keep her balance by putting her right hand on the floor, she accidentally cut herself on the mountain rock Liko had given her, drawing just a drip of blood from her palm.
And just like that, an all-too familiar feeling overcame her.
Dot’s thoughts vanished.
Everything became so much emptier.
She reached for the stone.
“Well. If you’re going to hurt me anyway, Liko.”
She brought the rock to her arm, rolling up her cardigan’s sleeve.
“I may as well.”
“Go… all the way…”
But just as she was about to press down–
“Quaaaaax… WELL!” A blast of water hit her hand, making her drop the stone.
“Tinka-TUFF!” Not missing a beat, Tinkatuff hit the souvenir with her hammer, tossing it across the room.
“D-Don’t interfere! This is my decision to make–”
“TINKA!”
“JUST LET ME SUFFER ALREADY!”
“QUAXWELL!” Not taking no for an answer, the Practicing Pokémon ran forward, and threw himself in his Trainer’s arms, hugging her tight. “Qua… Quax…” Almost telling her “it’ll be okay”, he slowly stroked her back.
“I… Qu-Quaxwell… I’m…” Feeling tears well up in her eyes, she returned the hug, not caring that she was staining her Pokémon’s feathers with her blood. Said feathers felt strange running across her old scars from similar events in her past, but she didn’t care about that either. Right now, all that mattered was the comfort of her friend, as she shook softly in his embrace. “I’m sorry…”
Slowly, Dot felt her muscles relax around Quaxwell, and her mind returned to normal somewhat. When she could breathe properly again, she spoke. “Quaxwell. Please take the contents of that box and throw them away.”
“Quax!?”
“Please. I can’t keep doing this. Rotom.” Her phone woke up from the desk, floating near her. “Delete the contents of the “Liko” folder.”
It replied in a robotic voice. “Are you sure? This action cannot be–”
“I’m sure.” Still determined, Dot got up, her trembling legs bringing her as far as her desk chair before collapsing into it. With a quick button combination, every picture in the folder that began her mental collapse was gone, as well.
“Quaxwell…” The Water-type could only look on with concern as his Trainer threw away everything she once adored with only a few words and a few clicks of her keyboard.
“What are you looking at me for? Go on, throw all of these away.”
Regardless, he could only follow her orders, hoping that this was indeed the right decision.
As he descended the stairs, a familiar figure approached him. He could not notice, though, as he was deep in thought, silently wishing that things would someday get better for his favorite person.
----------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile
Liko was double-checking her suitcase as she prepared to move once more. It had only been one month since she returned to her parents’ house, but not wanting to stay there forever, she decided to get her life back on track. She had to. After all, she was–
Knock knock “Liko?”
“Oh, Dad! Come in!”
Doing as he was told, Alex slowly opened the door, and greeted his daughter. “Good morning, Liko. Did you sleep well?”
No, she didn’t. Her thoughts always got to her most when no one was there with her, forcing her to push everything down, and not even looking outside her window could distract her. “Mhm! I’m ready to take on the day!”
“That’s… good.” Alex hesitantly smiled. “Are you sure about this? It hasn’t been that long since… everything happened.”
“I’m fine, Dad. Don’t be such a worrywart! And I won’t be alone, if that makes you feel better. Ann made sure to keep our dorm room just as it was… which means clean on one side, and messy on the other, hehe.”
“That’s true. Just so you know, your mother and I are always here for you if you need, okay?”
“...Where’s Hattrem, by the way?” Lately, for some reason, Hattrem had preferred to stay in the living room with her father’s Fidough, avoiding the bedroom where Liko stayed as much as she could. “I have to go in just a few minutes.”
“Oh, right, I came to give you her Poké Ball back. She’s waiting downstairs, just as usual.”
“Thank you. Okay, I should grab a bite to eat and then run out! Thanks, Dad! See you later!”
“See you…” As he stood there, watching his daughter cheerily jogging out of her room, her suitcase behind her, Alex could not help but feel concerned. Maybe she was getting at that age where children stop telling their parents about everything, but… he knew this wasn’t just an innocent secret she was keeping. The events of last month weighed on her heavily, but she would not talk about it. Unsure what to do, he simply looked out the window, staring at the slow and uncertain step of his child, who was sure nobody was watching.
Will she really be all right…?
----------------------------------------
As Liko watched outside the window of the school bus, she afforded herself one last moment of honesty. Once she set foot on the grounds of Indigo Academy once again, she would have to act like the Liko that everyone knew. Liko, the upbeat girl. Liko, the friendly girl. Liko, the girl who has it all together.
But she was nothing like that, in reality. Ever since Friede died, Liko could hardly recognize herself. She would snap at the tiniest things, shouting and crying and silently hating everybody. Even when nothing happened, she would sometimes find herself crying there, alone in the darkness of her bedroom. Sometimes, she would dream of Friede or Dot, yelling at her for being an awful person who could do nothing. She would dream of Roy, crying at the end of a hallway that she could never reach, no matter how fast or how long she ran. Some nights, she would dream of Spinel, following her through an endless Levincia and catching her and calling for Beheeyem and–
…Well, that was why one day, she decided that enough was enough. She got up from her bed, typed out an email politely asking to return to in-person classes, and came down to talk to her parents, wearing that smile that made her cheeks sting just a little. She would have to get used to that feeling, until it stopped hurting, if it ever would. She would have to forget about Lucius and the Six Heroes, about the Rising Volt Tacklers, about Roy and Friede, about Dot especially. That day, Liko the adventurer died, and she was the one who plunged the knife in her chest. In her place, from the ashes of her resolve, rose her shadow, Liko the good, happy girl. The Liko that always kept a positive outlook on life. The Liko that never let herself stumble. The Liko no one ever had to worry about. Never. Never. Never.
As she heard the bus screeching to a halt, Liko took a deep breath, and just like that, the fragments of the adventurer sank back into the depths of her heart, and she let the happy girl rise once more, that smile returning. The setting sun made her eyes squint just a little, but that was all the better.
That way, she had an excuse for the single tear that escaped her control.
-----------------------------------------------
“Likooooooooo! Gosh, it’s been so long!”
“Hi, Ann! It really has been, huh?”
Ever the upbeat one, Liko’s roommate ran to her from the entrance of the academy all the way to the gates, not stopping until she could hug her tight. Ann was ever the emotive one, her complete opposite, the ex-Volt Tackler thought… she hoped being with her every day would not become exhausting. Though perhaps having such a bundle of energy around at all times might help get attention off of her.
“How have you been this whole time? I’m surprised you came back at all! I’d love to go adventuring on a ship like this with yo– um, with everyone…!”
“Oh, well… I just wanted to focus more on my studies.”
“Laaaaame!” Ann playfully stuck out her tongue at her friend. “I’d take your place, but my parents would never let me, haha…”
“Anyway, what about you, Ann? How have classes been going for you?”
“Great, actually! W-Well, the battling and Pokémon-related classes, at least. Math is still not my strong suit… but I’m top of the class in battle studies! I know pretty much everything about the eighteen types by now.”
“That’s great! I can help you with math later if you want.”
“Oh, right! You’re a great student, aren’t you? I can’t believe you managed to make time for boring school stuff when the whole world was out there at your fingertips.”
Liko felt a twinge of annoyance deep inside of her. Back on that subject already…? “H-Hey, I’m a little hungry. Do you want to go to the cafeteria?”
“Ah, shoot, you’re right! If we keep dawdling here, it’s gonna close! Hurry, hurry!”
It was a struggle to even get to the cafeteria. Ann kept asking all kinds of questions about her adventure, or the food she ate while on her trip, or the Pokémon she saw. But eventually, Liko finally managed to sit down, a small ration of food on her plate, while Ann took about thrice as much, and was already digging in.
“Isn't this going to cost you extra…?”
“Oh, don't wowwy about it! gulp The lunch lady knows me, and she always feels bad when I leave here still looking hungry.”
“Well, if you say so…” Satisfied by that answer, Liko awkwardly smiled at her friend, and then started picking at her meal. In truth, she was not hungry whatsoever. She had only said this to get the chipper girl to focus on something else; she couldn’t remember the last time she was happy to eat at this point, the very feeling seeming like a distant memory. At least now, things were generally quiet between them, as the both of them focused on their respective meals. That is, until…
“Hey, dude, did you hear?”
“Hear about what?”
“Apparently the director of Exceed, that Paldean company, was caught up in a scandal and forced to step down!”
“Oooh, a scandal? Man, you have to give me the deets!”
Liko tensed up at the mention of Exceed, involuntarily dropping her fork and alerting Ann. Could she not escape her past, to the point that even complete strangers would mention it around her now? Was she doomed to have her facade challenged, her mask torn off, every step of the way?
“Please excuse me.” Feeling herself losing her composure, Liko hastily stood up, and made her way outside, not even finishing her barely-eaten food.
“H-Huh? Liko, wait!”
-----------------------------------
“Ann… please stop following me…!”
“But you’re upset! I can’t let you be upset on your own!”
Night was now starting to fall on the Kanto region, and despite her best efforts, Liko could not lose her more athletic friend. She couldn’t help but wonder how she still beat her in stamina, given how many walks uphill she’s gone on. Eventually, she stopped and faced her friend, growing tired of this game of Skitty and Tandemaus.
“hah hah Fine…”
“Thank goodness… Liko, what’s going on? There’s something you’re not telling me, right…?”
“...”
“You know I care about you so much…”
Oh, that, Liko was well aware. It didn’t take much in the way of wisdom to figure out that Ann had a major crush on her. She would trip over her own words often, be adamant about being “her BFF”, and generally fussing over her whenever they were together. But what good would that do for the ex-adventurer? Another heart to break? No, that was a desperate last resort. It didn’t matter how she felt for Ann, as long as her name was Liko, there was nothing to be done about it.
“Something happened when you were out there, didn’t it?”
“...!”
“I knew something was going on. Can you tell me?”
“Ann, I… please don’t push the issue further.”
“Why not? What’s so horrible that you won’t talk to your best friend about it?”
If only she knew, the blue-haired girl thought. “I…”
“...okay, I understand. That’s probably something you only talk to Dot about, don’t you?”
That name again . Was her coming up again and again in her mind not enough? Did she have to be questioned about her, too? Liko didn’t respond. What was there to say? Anything she tried would probably come out wrong anyway. But then…
“I understand if she’s closer to you than I am. She’s… really good for you. You shouldn’t let her go–”
Liko didn’t even think. What was she doing? Her body acted on its own. Every word coming from Ann’s mouth was more painful than the last. So it defended her, going for the only out it could think of.
Ann did not expect Liko to kiss her whatsoever. She had long given up on her crush, resigned to just be her best friend. She thought it was better that way. She saw how well Liko and Dot got along, and she didn’t want to get in their way. Even now, a part of her was screaming at her to pull away, to get mad at her roommate, to ask her just what she’s thinking already –
But Ann was only human.
What was a teenager, fighting with her crush that felt more like a tidal wave of love, as well as her hormones, supposed to do? She was just handed the moment of her dreams on a silver platter. What else could she do but return her affection, no matter how wrong it might be? So the student quieted her thoughts, closed her eyes, and pushed against her love, wrestling her for control of the kiss as best she could.
But Liko was not surrendering.
Truth be told, she didn’t mind Ann at all. She could think of worse people to share an intimate moment with. But this wasn’t about her feelings. This was about her perfect, innocent school life. She wouldn’t let anyone, anyone , get in the way of that. Not even her friend. If that meant wearing yet another mask on top of the dozen others she had by now, then so be it.
Remembering was pain. Remembering was darkness. It was that dark alley. It was that cave. It was that moment just a month ago, in that room she would rather forget, with a person she would rather forget. Underneath the guilt, the pain, the grief, maybe the Liko that went on an adventure with her friends was still there. But it didn’t matter.
She supposed that was what it meant to grow up. To leave that child behind, to wipe the slate clean and start over. Ann is the only person left with ties to that ugly past. So she would do her best to satiate her, to distract her, to control her.
All for peace. All for respite. All for quiet. She will open her heart to Ann, only to close it behind her, trapping her within the strings.
Somewhere, a girl cried out in the darkness.
------------------------------------------------------------
As time passed, and the seasons changed, the Rising Volt Tacklers found comfort in the dull pain of everyday life.
Murdock got to reopen his bakery with Mitchell, his life with his friend growing more enjoyable as their old flame rekindled. But he still thought of his niece, who cried out in pain from nightmares almost nightly, and of that young man that was lost too young.
Ludlow, with nothing else to do, kept fishing. He would keep fishing, like he always did, on that ship that now stayed put where it was. No one was around to hear his proverbs, aside from his trusty Pokémon. He only wished he had shared more about himself to that young man, before he was gone too young. Now, aside from one person who visited every once in a while, all that was left for him was the slow, agonizing wait for the end. Surely, it wouldn’t be long for him now, and he could see that young man again.
Orla, ignoring the buzz of grief, buried herself in her work even more, returning to Hoenn and keeping busy with all sorts of projects. But every time she had a day off, she would return to that ship, and aimlessly repair it, remembering her old friend who was lost too young, and missing the constant noise everyone made back then.
Mollie, with nowhere to turn to, returned to her old Pokémon Center in the Johto region. She did her best to ignore her own cries for adventure, and her silly dreams of helping wild Pokémon around the globe. Surely, it was fine to stay put, and deal with the same routine, day in and day out. Maybe that man would have disagreed, but who cares? He was lost too young. That’s where foolish dreams lead you. No amount of tears would change that.
Dot barely hung on anymore. Every night, that dream on the mountain would happen. Every night, she remembered her. Every night, she would ask her the same question. And every night, she came back empty-handed, with no answers. She could tell they were all concerned. But what was there left to do? Maybe she would be gone too young too, just like that man. Nothing felt like it mattered anymore.
Liko was happy. She was so happy! Everything was going her way. Her relationship with Ann had blossomed, and she too was soeasy to control happy. Her schoolwork kept her busy. Nobody would ask her uncomfortable questions. And when Ann did, she would distract her, and that would be that. Everything was fine! So what if she thought of that man, who died too young, every once in a while? She was fine. She was fine. She was fine. She was fine. She was fine. She was fine. Do not dig deeper.
And as for Roy…
------------------------------------
Nine months later
“Staring at your phone once again?”
Roy snapped out of his reverie. How long had he been sitting on the beach for? He only was supposed to have a short break, but he now noticed the sun was setting on the horizon in front of him.
“Ah– sorry, Master Gurkinn! I guess I spaced out there, haha.”
“I assume your friends still haven’t responded?”
“...” Roy turned his attention back to his phone, which had been sitting idle on him and Liko’s messages. Or, well, mostly his messages; no matter how many times he tried to reach out, be it to her or Dot, all he would get in return is silence. He couldn’t help but feel a deep sadness at the way things ended up for the three of them, and he missed his friends dearly. “No, they haven’t.”
“Perhaps it is time to let bygones be bygones, my young friend. Pushing their boundaries will not result in anything good, either way.”
He didn’t like to think so, but the boy felt he had to agree. Ever since Friede… none of them held a real conversation. No matter how he faced it, nothing would fix this. At least, nothing that came from him. He had tried and tried, and nothing changed.
He had to get stronger.
“You’re right, sir. I’m ready to resume my training.”
“That’s a good attitude. Now, come with me back to the Tower.”
“Yes, sir!” Roy responded, determined to give his best. “Riolu? Let’s go.”
As a small, yellow Pokémon ran up to him, Roy did his best to fake a smile. Things weren’t okay now, and who knows if they ever would be… but he had to do his best. He had to get stronger still. Maybe then, Liko and Dot would talk to him again, and they could stand together once more. He had to hold on to the hope the two of them were doing better than he is.
Hope was in short supply, after all.
Franka stood silent in front of her home, stunned by the revelations her brother had for her. So… Friede was gone? She always knew that young professor was reckless, but to think he’d meet his end so young… she was shocked to hear it.
“I’m sorry to hear, Big Bro. I really don’t know what to say…”
“It’s… fine. It’s been complicated for all of us,” the ex-Volt Tackler explained, “and that’s why we’ve decided to disband.”
“Disband!?”
“Yeah. We decided old man Ludlow would keep the ship. It was his originally, after all. Orla and him went all the way to Akala Island to drop us off, and now I’m doing the same for your little one.”
“...” Dot remained quiet as her family members talked about her, now. She didn’t have the energy or the heart to say anything. What could she say? That she failed to be helpful to Friede, and now he was dead? She could already figure that out. That she failed at making friends, too, and is now on beyond horrible terms with her ex-girlfriend? Was she supposed to sing and dance as she did so, too? No. Staying quiet was the only option.
“I understand. I’m happy to get my beloved daughter back, of course~. And, Big Bro… if you ever need to talk about anything–”
“Excuse me.” The streamer, not wishing to hear a word of her mother’s commiserating, made her way past her to get inside, dragging a suitcase full of props, clothes and… other things… into the house, leaving the rest of her belongings with them to be carried later.
“Ah– um– talk to you later, Big Bro! I’ll take care of Dot now!”
“Don’t–” slam “...overdo it, Franka.”
-------------------------------------------
As Dot made her way to her room, her mother hounded her with questions, each feeling more uncomfortable than the last.
“Dot, honey, do you want me to make you your favorite meal tonight– oh, right, you don’t like to eat much, do you…?”
“...” Franka didn’t know she warmed up to food, now.
“Um… did you have a good time on your adventure? You must have learned a lot, and seen so much!”
“...I guess.” She didn’t know she didn’t feel like talking about it, either.
“D-Do you need help with your suitcase? It looks heavy…! Dragging it up the stairs must be hard for you!”
“It isn’t.” She didn’t know she bulked up at least enough to be able to carry a suitcase up a small staircase at least, either.
“A-And what about your friends? How are they doing? I’d love to hear more about them! Roy and… what was that girl’s name again? Ah, right, Li–”
Dot felt her muscles tense up, as her suitcase tumbled helplessly past the two and back to the ground floor with a heavy thud.
“Just SHUT UP, MOM!”
“Dot–”
“Shut the HELL UP! You don’t know ANYTHING about me, or them, or what happened between us! Stay out of my business and let me waste away in peace!”
“What do you mean?” Turning away, the once-more shut-in ran away from her mother, opening her old bedroom’s door and quickly finding its lock, performing a motion she was once used to, and was sure to get used to again. “Dot!”
As Franka stood in silence halfway up the staircase, she felt a pain in her heart she had just begun to forget: the pain of not being able to help your daughter. Defeated, she made her way back down, carried the suitcase fully up the stairs, and silently put it down next to her child’s room, a pit in her stomach.
One day, she would be better… right?
----------------------------------------------
One week later
Franka paced helplessly in circles in the living room as she anxiously awaited her visitor. It had now been seven days since Dot had moved back in with her, and she must have seen her only twice or thrice in that time. She knew she did not need to worry overly much about her, as she noticed food disappearing overnight (despite Dot’s efforts to hide such a thing), but she could tell from those handful of times that she had grown paler, and her eye bags could be seen even through her long bangs. A few days in, she had even kicked out both of her Pokémon, and they now walked around sadly in the backyard, Lycanroc desperately trying to cheer them up and play, or spar, or do anything . Unsure what to do, given that any discussion, through the door or otherwise, ended in an argument, she had reached out to her brother once again, in hopes that he may be able to do something, anything to bring back that young girl that spoke such sunny words in emails as she was headed to Laqua, just a week or so ago.
knock knock knock
“Ah–” Almost tripping over her own slippers as she ran for the door, Franka smiled brightly as the comforting face of her older sibling appeared behind it. “Big Bro! Am I glad to see you!”
“Me too, Franka. Good afternoon.” The two exchanged a quick gesture, as is customary in Alola, before coming back inside and sitting down on the couch. “So, you were telling me that Dot’s been…?”
“Shutting herself in again, yeah. You were telling me in your reports that she hadn’t been doing that as much, right?”
“Yeah, ever since she left for her Terastal Training, she’s been much more outgoing and… well, not “outdoorsy”, she’s still Dot, but… she would spend a lot of time with the other kids on the ship, having fun and battling, or simply chatting. By the end, the only times she would be in her room for hours at a time was when she had to film her videos.”
“I see. That’s… disheartening.”
“Has it really been that bad?”
“...Mhm.” Franka’s quiet response and downcast expression spoke volumes to Murdock, as he was used to her never stopping to breathe whenever she had to speak. “That’s why I asked you to come. Maybe you c-can bring my baby back.” Stifling a sob, Franka tried to compose herself, but her anxiety proved to be too much for her, and she failed, reaching for a hug.
“Franka… there, there. It’ll be all right.” The cook wanted to get on his sister’s case for being so emotional, but he couldn’t help but be concerned himself. Of course, he could tell this was all very hard on Dot, but for her to relapse this hard and this fast…? He couldn’t help but give more focus to a concern he had during his final days aboard the ship. “I… might have an idea what’s going on. Can I go upstairs and try to talk to Dot?”
“hic Y-Yes, of course. She should be up now… I think.”
So her sleep schedule’s been shot as well? Murdock took a deep breath, and with a quick thank you, made his way upstairs, navigating the dim corridor until he reached a door with a familiar blue light emanating from behind it.
As he prepared to knock, he couldn't help but bring his ear to the door, making sure he wasn’t disturbing her during something important, like a Nidothing stream. Behind it, he didn’t hear much, save for… a voice? Her voice. Was she talking to someone on the phone?
“...ridiculous, isn’t it? I can tell. I haven’t thought like that in so long. But I don’t want to admit it. I can’t deal with that again. I can’t!”
…No. She wasn’t making time for anyone to respond. She must be talking to herself, Murdock thought.
“I still have… from back then… can’t… I’ll…” It became more difficult for him to hear his niece, as her voice turned from speaking to a lower, quieter mumble. “sob”
Hearing her seemingly begin to cry, the burly man knew he had heard enough. Softly knocking on the door, he did his best to appear as non-threatening as possible. “Dot? It’s me, your uncle. Franka and I are worried about you… may I come in, please?”
“G-Go away. Why are you even here, anyway?”
“Please, Dot. I promise, I won’t get you to leave your room. I just want to talk.”
“...” Murdock was left in silence for a little while, stewing in his worries that she wouldn’t open the door to even him, despite them growing so much closer over their journeys. But eventually, he heard a soft click as Dot unlocked her door, and slowly opened it, returning back to her bed as she let her uncle in.
The former Volt Tackler could not believe his eyes as he entered. The room was a pigsty, a big departure from her living quarters on the ship, which were always neatly organized. Empty packs of various snacks were strewn across the floor, and where there weren’t, clothes and props filled in to make sure the floor was barely visible. Nidothing’s costume lay in a pile in one corner of the room, with no care put in for its maintenance or cleanliness. A faint smell of sweat pervaded the room, and sunlight only barely sneaked in through the fully-closed blinds, Dot’s bright computer screen taking the role of the major light source. Dot was sitting on her bed, her back turned and her knees brought close to her face.
“What do you want?”
“Dot… I was just worried about you, and wanted to check on you.” That was true, of course, but he purposely omitted any mention of her mother, so as to not set her off with claims of only being here because of her.
“...”
“Do you want to… talk about everything?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“...” Seemingly, Dot did not expect that question, as she raised her head in surprise, though still not turning around to meet her uncle’s gaze. “I don’t know. Too much hassle, I guess.”
“I see. Do you mind if I talk, then?”
“...”
Taking her silence as a “yes”, Murdock sat down on the other end of the bed, and started chatting with the shut-in, hoping to make her more comfortable. “Well, this past week, I’ve contacted Mitchell, my old buddy from the Galar region. I asked him if he wanted to move in with me here in Alola, and he said yes! We’ll be opening our own pâtisserie here in about a month.”
“Good for you, I guess.”
“...It’s been lonely lately, hasn’t it?”
“...!”
“Disbanding, seeing everyone leave to do their own thing… losing Friede… it’s been hard. Do you feel the same way, Dot?”
“...I… maybe.”
“What is it you miss the most from back then?”
Liko, of course. God, Dot missed Liko so much. The sunny, happy, determined, sappy Liko. The Liko that literally dragged her around to look for curry ingredients. The Liko who would talk for hours about Nidothing. The Liko who blushed so adorably when they got together on New Year’s. She missed Liko so, so much. “I don’t know… the wild Pokémon, I guess.” Dot lied.
Murdock, not falling for it, did not miss a beat. “Tell me, Dot… did something happen between you and Liko?”
“Wha–”
“It might just be me, but… something sprung out to me. It was a small thing. But when we were all packing, I passed by the part of the ship where yours and the other kids’ rooms were. You were all moving to-and-fro, busily putting everything away in the boxes we had left in the corridor for you. And when I was passing by… you and Liko both reached for a box at the same time.”
“You saw that…?”
“Mhm. And… when your eyes met, it was like neither of you really saw the other. You just reached forward faster, snatched the box away, and walked back to your room.”
“...so the secret’s out, huh?”
“Please, Dot. Tell me everything. If it’s what I think it is, it must be weighing on you–”
“Get out.”
“H-Huh!?” Murdock couldn’t help but be shocked by the rejection. He thought he was making progress, but…
“Get out! I don’t want to talk about this with anybody !” Finally turning around, Dot stood up, and pulled as best she can on her uncle’s arm to get him up and out of her space.
“Y-You can’t keep everything bottled up! It’ll only hurt more!”
“Just watch me!” Finally pushing him out of her room, Dot slammed the door in her uncle’s face, the lock’s sound loudly resonating.
Of course Dot couldn’t talk about this. If they knew… if they knew, they would think so much less of her. They would think less of the girl with anger issues that bullied her grieving girlfriend into breaking up with her. They’d think less of the same girl, who still had yet to apologize. Though, she didn’t know why she was bothering to hide it. If she told them, maybe they’d finally leave her to rot.
After all, she knew deep down that she would never get better.
--------------------------------------
One month later
It was a good thing that Dot always kept a backlog of Nidothing videos.
The past month had done a number on her productivity, and she was only just now getting back on her feet. She still didn’t set foot outside her room, gods no, but she at least could find the energy to script and edit new videos for her channel. Though she was running out of footage to edit…
“That’s strange… I swear I had more footage than this. Oh, right, I put some in this folder–” Rushing her computer mouse to the corner of her desktop, she double-clicked on a folder, but the different surface her equipment was resting on compared to her old desk on the ship made her slip just an inch to the right, and she accidentally opened a different folder, one containing…
Before she could react, a folder filled with pictures of Liko opened itself, peppering the screen with thumbnails of the last face she wished to see right now. And yet, the purple-haired girl couldn’t look away. Something about her bright eyes, her wide smile, it all still drew her to lose herself in her. She absentmindedly scrolled for what felt like hours, and only once she could not scroll any further, did she snap out of it, and closed the folder in a hurry.
“I– No! I can’t be thinking about her. It’s over. I… can’t…” Burying her hands in the hair on the sides of her head, Dot tried her best to contain her breathing. “...Okay. No more Liko. I’m focusing on work from now on. It’s… what’s best. But… Do I have the energy to do this right now…?”
Turning to her costume, she felt her chest tighten. It had been so long since she last recorded… last time she did, she had to stop midway because… that’s right, they were arriving in Laqua. She remembered rushing out to the deck, feeling the clouds wet her hair, and finally seeing Kumuri Mountain with her own two eyes… and then Liko wrapped her arms around her, and she looked so damn happy to be here with her, and she couldn’t help but kiss –
“I-I should go get Quaxwell and Tinkatuff. I need to make new memories so I can replace these.” Shaking off the increasingly passionate thoughts of her ex, Dot abruptly got up, and stepped outside to retrieve her partners.
“Quax!”
“Tinka!” The two of them were overjoyed to see their Trainer after so long, running to her and hugging her the moment they could.
Even Dot couldn’t help but crack a smile at such a display of love. “Haha, hi, you two. I’m sorry I left you alone so long… it’s been… tough.” Deep down, she felt an immense amount of guilt for abandoning her partners, her friends, for such a long time, but she did her best to not show it, so as not to worry them even more.
“Qua-qua.” Neither of them seemed to hold any grudges, and only held her tighter as she apologized.
“You… th-thank you,” the shut-in blushed, before pulling away, gesturing for them to follow her. “Okay, come on, we’ve got work to do!”
As she opened the door to her bedroom and stepped inside again, she noticed her Pokémon hesitated before following her. “What’s wrong, you two?”
“Q-Qua…”
“Huh? Something about a smell…?” Dot looked around, sniffing the air here and there, before recoiling in disgust. “O-Okay, maybe it’s more of a mess here than I thought… Quaxwell, can you clean up here? Tinkatuff, get the props, I put them in the closet over there. And don’t play with anything metallic you find in there! I’ll take care of the costume.”
“Tinka!”
As the three of them tackled their respective duties, Dot almost felt a sense of normalcy return. Seeing her Pokémon scurrying about, Quaxwell slowly getting happier as the place got cleaner, Tinkatuff setting up the lights so she can film… it brought a warm smile to her face.
“Oh, right, I need to work too. Let me just put this on and– huh?” As she reached for the zipper and opened the Nidothing suit, she noticed a small, rectangular light blue box hiding in one of the legs that she didn’t remember putting there. “What’s–” Pulling it out, she quickly noticed something deeply familiar about it, and she dropped it instinctively, its contents scattering on the floor. Before her eyes were all kinds of souvenirs of her time on the ship… together with Liko. Printed pictures of Dot and her together, landscapes from all over the world behind them. Various items collected along the way, from a pressed flower from their first date in an open field in Kalos, to a cute keychain from a matching set they bought for each other while passing through a busy Kantonian city, even a simple, sharp rock from the foot of Oni Mountain– she had vivid memories of the origin of each and every one of these seemingly insignificant items.
And it all assaulted her mind, harder than any Pokémon move ever could.
“Aah– ENOUGH!” Throwing everything further from her, she collapsed to the floor, and let out a pained scream, drawing the attention of her Pokémon. “I don’t WANT any more memories! I don’t WANT to remember her anymore! Just let me MOVE ON! I– ah–!” While trying to keep her balance by putting her right hand on the floor, she accidentally cut herself on the mountain rock Liko had given her, drawing just a drip of blood from her palm.
And just like that, an all-too familiar feeling overcame her.
Dot’s thoughts vanished.
Everything became so much emptier.
She reached for the stone.
“Well. If you’re going to hurt me anyway, Liko.”
She brought the rock to her arm, rolling up her cardigan’s sleeve.
“I may as well.”
“Go… all the way…”
But just as she was about to press down–
“Quaaaaax… WELL!” A blast of water hit her hand, making her drop the stone.
“Tinka-TUFF!” Not missing a beat, Tinkatuff hit the souvenir with her hammer, tossing it across the room.
“D-Don’t interfere! This is my decision to make–”
“TINKA!”
“JUST LET ME SUFFER ALREADY!”
“QUAXWELL!” Not taking no for an answer, the Practicing Pokémon ran forward, and threw himself in his Trainer’s arms, hugging her tight. “Qua… Quax…” Almost telling her “it’ll be okay”, he slowly stroked her back.
“I… Qu-Quaxwell… I’m…” Feeling tears well up in her eyes, she returned the hug, not caring that she was staining her Pokémon’s feathers with her blood. Said feathers felt strange running across her old scars from similar events in her past, but she didn’t care about that either. Right now, all that mattered was the comfort of her friend, as she shook softly in his embrace. “I’m sorry…”
Slowly, Dot felt her muscles relax around Quaxwell, and her mind returned to normal somewhat. When she could breathe properly again, she spoke. “Quaxwell. Please take the contents of that box and throw them away.”
“Quax!?”
“Please. I can’t keep doing this. Rotom.” Her phone woke up from the desk, floating near her. “Delete the contents of the “Liko” folder.”
It replied in a robotic voice. “Are you sure? This action cannot be–”
“I’m sure.” Still determined, Dot got up, her trembling legs bringing her as far as her desk chair before collapsing into it. With a quick button combination, every picture in the folder that began her mental collapse was gone, as well.
“Quaxwell…” The Water-type could only look on with concern as his Trainer threw away everything she once adored with only a few words and a few clicks of her keyboard.
“What are you looking at me for? Go on, throw all of these away.”
Regardless, he could only follow her orders, hoping that this was indeed the right decision.
As he descended the stairs, a familiar figure approached him. He could not notice, though, as he was deep in thought, silently wishing that things would someday get better for his favorite person.
----------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile
Liko was double-checking her suitcase as she prepared to move once more. It had only been one month since she returned to her parents’ house, but not wanting to stay there forever, she decided to get her life back on track. She had to. After all, she was–
Knock knock “Liko?”
“Oh, Dad! Come in!”
Doing as he was told, Alex slowly opened the door, and greeted his daughter. “Good morning, Liko. Did you sleep well?”
No, she didn’t. Her thoughts always got to her most when no one was there with her, forcing her to push everything down, and not even looking outside her window could distract her. “Mhm! I’m ready to take on the day!”
“That’s… good.” Alex hesitantly smiled. “Are you sure about this? It hasn’t been that long since… everything happened.”
“I’m fine, Dad. Don’t be such a worrywart! And I won’t be alone, if that makes you feel better. Ann made sure to keep our dorm room just as it was… which means clean on one side, and messy on the other, hehe.”
“That’s true. Just so you know, your mother and I are always here for you if you need, okay?”
“...Where’s Hattrem, by the way?” Lately, for some reason, Hattrem had preferred to stay in the living room with her father’s Fidough, avoiding the bedroom where Liko stayed as much as she could. “I have to go in just a few minutes.”
“Oh, right, I came to give you her Poké Ball back. She’s waiting downstairs, just as usual.”
“Thank you. Okay, I should grab a bite to eat and then run out! Thanks, Dad! See you later!”
“See you…” As he stood there, watching his daughter cheerily jogging out of her room, her suitcase behind her, Alex could not help but feel concerned. Maybe she was getting at that age where children stop telling their parents about everything, but… he knew this wasn’t just an innocent secret she was keeping. The events of last month weighed on her heavily, but she would not talk about it. Unsure what to do, he simply looked out the window, staring at the slow and uncertain step of his child, who was sure nobody was watching.
Will she really be all right…?
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As Liko watched outside the window of the school bus, she afforded herself one last moment of honesty. Once she set foot on the grounds of Indigo Academy once again, she would have to act like the Liko that everyone knew. Liko, the upbeat girl. Liko, the friendly girl. Liko, the girl who has it all together.
But she was nothing like that, in reality. Ever since Friede died, Liko could hardly recognize herself. She would snap at the tiniest things, shouting and crying and silently hating everybody. Even when nothing happened, she would sometimes find herself crying there, alone in the darkness of her bedroom. Sometimes, she would dream of Friede or Dot, yelling at her for being an awful person who could do nothing. She would dream of Roy, crying at the end of a hallway that she could never reach, no matter how fast or how long she ran. Some nights, she would dream of Spinel, following her through an endless Levincia and catching her and calling for Beheeyem and–
…Well, that was why one day, she decided that enough was enough. She got up from her bed, typed out an email politely asking to return to in-person classes, and came down to talk to her parents, wearing that smile that made her cheeks sting just a little. She would have to get used to that feeling, until it stopped hurting, if it ever would. She would have to forget about Lucius and the Six Heroes, about the Rising Volt Tacklers, about Roy and Friede, about Dot especially. That day, Liko the adventurer died, and she was the one who plunged the knife in her chest. In her place, from the ashes of her resolve, rose her shadow, Liko the good, happy girl. The Liko that always kept a positive outlook on life. The Liko that never let herself stumble. The Liko no one ever had to worry about. Never. Never. Never.
As she heard the bus screeching to a halt, Liko took a deep breath, and just like that, the fragments of the adventurer sank back into the depths of her heart, and she let the happy girl rise once more, that smile returning. The setting sun made her eyes squint just a little, but that was all the better.
That way, she had an excuse for the single tear that escaped her control.
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“Likooooooooo! Gosh, it’s been so long!”
“Hi, Ann! It really has been, huh?”
Ever the upbeat one, Liko’s roommate ran to her from the entrance of the academy all the way to the gates, not stopping until she could hug her tight. Ann was ever the emotive one, her complete opposite, the ex-Volt Tackler thought… she hoped being with her every day would not become exhausting. Though perhaps having such a bundle of energy around at all times might help get attention off of her.
“How have you been this whole time? I’m surprised you came back at all! I’d love to go adventuring on a ship like this with yo– um, with everyone…!”
“Oh, well… I just wanted to focus more on my studies.”
“Laaaaame!” Ann playfully stuck out her tongue at her friend. “I’d take your place, but my parents would never let me, haha…”
“Anyway, what about you, Ann? How have classes been going for you?”
“Great, actually! W-Well, the battling and Pokémon-related classes, at least. Math is still not my strong suit… but I’m top of the class in battle studies! I know pretty much everything about the eighteen types by now.”
“That’s great! I can help you with math later if you want.”
“Oh, right! You’re a great student, aren’t you? I can’t believe you managed to make time for boring school stuff when the whole world was out there at your fingertips.”
Liko felt a twinge of annoyance deep inside of her. Back on that subject already…? “H-Hey, I’m a little hungry. Do you want to go to the cafeteria?”
“Ah, shoot, you’re right! If we keep dawdling here, it’s gonna close! Hurry, hurry!”
It was a struggle to even get to the cafeteria. Ann kept asking all kinds of questions about her adventure, or the food she ate while on her trip, or the Pokémon she saw. But eventually, Liko finally managed to sit down, a small ration of food on her plate, while Ann took about thrice as much, and was already digging in.
“Isn't this going to cost you extra…?”
“Oh, don't wowwy about it! gulp The lunch lady knows me, and she always feels bad when I leave here still looking hungry.”
“Well, if you say so…” Satisfied by that answer, Liko awkwardly smiled at her friend, and then started picking at her meal. In truth, she was not hungry whatsoever. She had only said this to get the chipper girl to focus on something else; she couldn’t remember the last time she was happy to eat at this point, the very feeling seeming like a distant memory. At least now, things were generally quiet between them, as the both of them focused on their respective meals. That is, until…
“Hey, dude, did you hear?”
“Hear about what?”
“Apparently the director of Exceed, that Paldean company, was caught up in a scandal and forced to step down!”
“Oooh, a scandal? Man, you have to give me the deets!”
Liko tensed up at the mention of Exceed, involuntarily dropping her fork and alerting Ann. Could she not escape her past, to the point that even complete strangers would mention it around her now? Was she doomed to have her facade challenged, her mask torn off, every step of the way?
“Please excuse me.” Feeling herself losing her composure, Liko hastily stood up, and made her way outside, not even finishing her barely-eaten food.
“H-Huh? Liko, wait!”
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“Ann… please stop following me…!”
“But you’re upset! I can’t let you be upset on your own!”
Night was now starting to fall on the Kanto region, and despite her best efforts, Liko could not lose her more athletic friend. She couldn’t help but wonder how she still beat her in stamina, given how many walks uphill she’s gone on. Eventually, she stopped and faced her friend, growing tired of this game of Skitty and Tandemaus.
“hah hah Fine…”
“Thank goodness… Liko, what’s going on? There’s something you’re not telling me, right…?”
“...”
“You know I care about you so much…”
Oh, that, Liko was well aware. It didn’t take much in the way of wisdom to figure out that Ann had a major crush on her. She would trip over her own words often, be adamant about being “her BFF”, and generally fussing over her whenever they were together. But what good would that do for the ex-adventurer? Another heart to break? No, that was a desperate last resort. It didn’t matter how she felt for Ann, as long as her name was Liko, there was nothing to be done about it.
“Something happened when you were out there, didn’t it?”
“...!”
“I knew something was going on. Can you tell me?”
“Ann, I… please don’t push the issue further.”
“Why not? What’s so horrible that you won’t talk to your best friend about it?”
If only she knew, the blue-haired girl thought. “I…”
“...okay, I understand. That’s probably something you only talk to Dot about, don’t you?”
That name again . Was her coming up again and again in her mind not enough? Did she have to be questioned about her, too? Liko didn’t respond. What was there to say? Anything she tried would probably come out wrong anyway. But then…
“I understand if she’s closer to you than I am. She’s… really good for you. You shouldn’t let her go–”
Liko didn’t even think. What was she doing? Her body acted on its own. Every word coming from Ann’s mouth was more painful than the last. So it defended her, going for the only out it could think of.
Ann did not expect Liko to kiss her whatsoever. She had long given up on her crush, resigned to just be her best friend. She thought it was better that way. She saw how well Liko and Dot got along, and she didn’t want to get in their way. Even now, a part of her was screaming at her to pull away, to get mad at her roommate, to ask her just what she’s thinking already –
But Ann was only human.
What was a teenager, fighting with her crush that felt more like a tidal wave of love, as well as her hormones, supposed to do? She was just handed the moment of her dreams on a silver platter. What else could she do but return her affection, no matter how wrong it might be? So the student quieted her thoughts, closed her eyes, and pushed against her love, wrestling her for control of the kiss as best she could.
But Liko was not surrendering.
Truth be told, she didn’t mind Ann at all. She could think of worse people to share an intimate moment with. But this wasn’t about her feelings. This was about her perfect, innocent school life. She wouldn’t let anyone, anyone , get in the way of that. Not even her friend. If that meant wearing yet another mask on top of the dozen others she had by now, then so be it.
Remembering was pain. Remembering was darkness. It was that dark alley. It was that cave. It was that moment just a month ago, in that room she would rather forget, with a person she would rather forget. Underneath the guilt, the pain, the grief, maybe the Liko that went on an adventure with her friends was still there. But it didn’t matter.
She supposed that was what it meant to grow up. To leave that child behind, to wipe the slate clean and start over. Ann is the only person left with ties to that ugly past. So she would do her best to satiate her, to distract her, to control her.
All for peace. All for respite. All for quiet. She will open her heart to Ann, only to close it behind her, trapping her within the strings.
Somewhere, a girl cried out in the darkness.
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As time passed, and the seasons changed, the Rising Volt Tacklers found comfort in the dull pain of everyday life.
Murdock got to reopen his bakery with Mitchell, his life with his friend growing more enjoyable as their old flame rekindled. But he still thought of his niece, who cried out in pain from nightmares almost nightly, and of that young man that was lost too young.
Ludlow, with nothing else to do, kept fishing. He would keep fishing, like he always did, on that ship that now stayed put where it was. No one was around to hear his proverbs, aside from his trusty Pokémon. He only wished he had shared more about himself to that young man, before he was gone too young. Now, aside from one person who visited every once in a while, all that was left for him was the slow, agonizing wait for the end. Surely, it wouldn’t be long for him now, and he could see that young man again.
Orla, ignoring the buzz of grief, buried herself in her work even more, returning to Hoenn and keeping busy with all sorts of projects. But every time she had a day off, she would return to that ship, and aimlessly repair it, remembering her old friend who was lost too young, and missing the constant noise everyone made back then.
Mollie, with nowhere to turn to, returned to her old Pokémon Center in the Johto region. She did her best to ignore her own cries for adventure, and her silly dreams of helping wild Pokémon around the globe. Surely, it was fine to stay put, and deal with the same routine, day in and day out. Maybe that man would have disagreed, but who cares? He was lost too young. That’s where foolish dreams lead you. No amount of tears would change that.
Dot barely hung on anymore. Every night, that dream on the mountain would happen. Every night, she remembered her. Every night, she would ask her the same question. And every night, she came back empty-handed, with no answers. She could tell they were all concerned. But what was there left to do? Maybe she would be gone too young too, just like that man. Nothing felt like it mattered anymore.
Liko was happy. She was so happy! Everything was going her way. Her relationship with Ann had blossomed, and she too was so
And as for Roy…
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Nine months later
“Staring at your phone once again?”
Roy snapped out of his reverie. How long had he been sitting on the beach for? He only was supposed to have a short break, but he now noticed the sun was setting on the horizon in front of him.
“Ah– sorry, Master Gurkinn! I guess I spaced out there, haha.”
“I assume your friends still haven’t responded?”
“...” Roy turned his attention back to his phone, which had been sitting idle on him and Liko’s messages. Or, well, mostly his messages; no matter how many times he tried to reach out, be it to her or Dot, all he would get in return is silence. He couldn’t help but feel a deep sadness at the way things ended up for the three of them, and he missed his friends dearly. “No, they haven’t.”
“Perhaps it is time to let bygones be bygones, my young friend. Pushing their boundaries will not result in anything good, either way.”
He didn’t like to think so, but the boy felt he had to agree. Ever since Friede… none of them held a real conversation. No matter how he faced it, nothing would fix this. At least, nothing that came from him. He had tried and tried, and nothing changed.
He had to get stronger.
“You’re right, sir. I’m ready to resume my training.”
“That’s a good attitude. Now, come with me back to the Tower.”
“Yes, sir!” Roy responded, determined to give his best. “Riolu? Let’s go.”
As a small, yellow Pokémon ran up to him, Roy did his best to fake a smile. Things weren’t okay now, and who knows if they ever would be… but he had to do his best. He had to get stronger still. Maybe then, Liko and Dot would talk to him again, and they could stand together once more. He had to hold on to the hope the two of them were doing better than he is.
Hope was in short supply, after all.
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