Reggaehype
New Member
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2009
- Messages
- 180
- Reaction score
- 1
I posted this on Fanfiction.net with decent reception and I hope you like it too. It's pretty dark so if you don't like angst you probably shouldn't read it. This was one of my first attempts at first person perspective and since it was Ash's perspective it was a little tricky.
I'm So Sorry, Dawn.
I stared down at my drink, I was depressed but she was happy, why wasn't that enough? It was her birthday and I should have been happy to share it with her but I couldn't the way I wanted to because of him; Paul.
"Ash?" Some said as they shook me.
"Yeah?" I grumbled.
"Are you okay?" It was May, she was concerned about my well being but I kept looking at the dancing couple.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I said as I looked up into those blue eyes which would have made me smile a couple months ago.
"You don't seem fine." She said.
"I am." I said as I was a little annoyed, I stood up and stumbled away. "I don't need you to worry about me."
I walked out of the room, I leaned against a wall in the hallway and thought back.
::Flashback::
"Dawn!" I said as I rushed over to her but her eyes looked flushed and she was fighting back tears.
"Ash..." She started but drifted off.
"What happened?" I asked.
"It-it's Paul." She busted out crying.
"What?" I asked oblivious to what was happening.
"I love him." She said, my blood ran cold, my heart skipped a beat.
"Wha-tha-can-no." I muttered out before sprinting off, I wasn't going to let anyone see me cry.
::End Flashback::
I screwed up, I should have hugged her more, I should have kissed her more, I should have told her I loved her more but would that really have changed anything? No. I was destined to be alone.
May had found me, she looked at me with pity on her face.
"Ash, it's been three months. You have to get over her." She stated firmly.
"I am over her." I lied but she saw right through it.
"Then how come you cry at night?" She asked.
I looked at her and then looked away. "You heard me?" I asked.
"Yes, we all do, even Dawn."
"That's not good." I stated. I started walking again but this time I wasn't staggering.
"Where are you going?"
"I don't know."
"May, where is Ash?" Dawn asked.
"He just left." She told the bluenette.
"That's good, but he just needs to find another girl, he expects me to go running back to him."
"I know it's sad."
"I'm going to talk to him tomorrow. I hope he makes it home alright though."
"Yeah, I'm worried. I shouldn't have let him leave, he was drunk."
"He won't do something stupid." She told her friend before going back to Paul.
::Flashback::
"Dawn?" I asked.
"What Ash?" She said annoyed by the boy.
"Why?"
"Because I love Paul." She coldly stated.
"But why, I thought you loved me."
"I did but people change, I did but you didn't but you need to now Ash Ketchum, I'm not your anymore, I'm Paul's.
::End Flashback::
I had passed out in my room in the Pokemon center, I had a splitting headache so I stayed in bed. When I finally got out I saw Dawn walk by my room, I quickly closed the door but she put her boot in between it and walked in.
"Ash, we need to talk." She said, I knew that it wasn't about something friendly.
"No, you didn't want to talk when I did and now I'm not talking when you want to." I said, I glared at her angrily.
"You need to stop bothering me and Paul, we're together not us, understand?" She told me.
"Yes, I'll never bother you. Okay."
"Thank you." She kissed me on the cheek and immediate regretted it.
I shut the door behind her and looked out the window, 'what a beautiful day and such a great way to start it' I thought to myself.
That day I went to the drug store and picked up a new razor, I went back to my room and started to shave. I cut myself as I was shaving and looked into the mirror. I looked at the razor as an I idea formed.
"I'll never bother you again Dawn." I said to myself as I took the razor and brought it across my wrists a few times, it hurt but I knew it would all be over soon.
I laid on the cold floor waiting to die but as felt death's hand on me the door to the bathroom opened and in came Brock, he saw me and instantly knew what happened. He called for help and tried to stop the bleeding.
"No." I tried to say but I was to weak to get it out.
I woke up in a hospital bed, my friends and family were there all except Dawn, she knew what had caused me to do it. As everyone left, I was alone, May came back in and confronted me.
"Dawn is outside, she wanted to make sure that it was okay for her to come in." I nodded as I was to weak to talk.
Dawn entered the room, as beautiful as always, even in a situation like this.
"Ash, why?" She asked as tears streaked down her face.
"I-I didn't want to bother you." I could barely even get that out.
"No, that's not what I meant."
"I know, but it's what I wanted to do. This world is nothing but pain for me, I wanted to escape. I know it was the cowards way out but that's what I am." I coldly blurted out, I knew that I made her cry more but I couldn't help it.
"I broke it off with Paul, I know it's what caused you to do it."
"No. You were so happy with him." I told her.
"But my happiness means nothing if it comes at the cost of my friends life."
"If I were to have died earlier, would you have broken up with Paul?" I asked.
"Probably not." She stated.
"I need to be alone." I told her, my head was down, if I made eye contact she would know my plan to make everything better.
"Are you sure, you just-"
"I'm sure, I need to vent."
She left the room, as she did a tear ran down my face.
"I'm so sorry, Dawn." I muttered before I reached over and pulled a couple of chords out of some machines. A couple of sounds told me I had solved everyone's problems. Everything slowly faded to darkness and I could faintly here doctors rushing in.
I'm So Sorry, Dawn.
I stared down at my drink, I was depressed but she was happy, why wasn't that enough? It was her birthday and I should have been happy to share it with her but I couldn't the way I wanted to because of him; Paul.
"Ash?" Some said as they shook me.
"Yeah?" I grumbled.
"Are you okay?" It was May, she was concerned about my well being but I kept looking at the dancing couple.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I said as I looked up into those blue eyes which would have made me smile a couple months ago.
"You don't seem fine." She said.
"I am." I said as I was a little annoyed, I stood up and stumbled away. "I don't need you to worry about me."
I walked out of the room, I leaned against a wall in the hallway and thought back.
::Flashback::
"Dawn!" I said as I rushed over to her but her eyes looked flushed and she was fighting back tears.
"Ash..." She started but drifted off.
"What happened?" I asked.
"It-it's Paul." She busted out crying.
"What?" I asked oblivious to what was happening.
"I love him." She said, my blood ran cold, my heart skipped a beat.
"Wha-tha-can-no." I muttered out before sprinting off, I wasn't going to let anyone see me cry.
::End Flashback::
I screwed up, I should have hugged her more, I should have kissed her more, I should have told her I loved her more but would that really have changed anything? No. I was destined to be alone.
May had found me, she looked at me with pity on her face.
"Ash, it's been three months. You have to get over her." She stated firmly.
"I am over her." I lied but she saw right through it.
"Then how come you cry at night?" She asked.
I looked at her and then looked away. "You heard me?" I asked.
"Yes, we all do, even Dawn."
"That's not good." I stated. I started walking again but this time I wasn't staggering.
"Where are you going?"
"I don't know."
"May, where is Ash?" Dawn asked.
"He just left." She told the bluenette.
"That's good, but he just needs to find another girl, he expects me to go running back to him."
"I know it's sad."
"I'm going to talk to him tomorrow. I hope he makes it home alright though."
"Yeah, I'm worried. I shouldn't have let him leave, he was drunk."
"He won't do something stupid." She told her friend before going back to Paul.
::Flashback::
"Dawn?" I asked.
"What Ash?" She said annoyed by the boy.
"Why?"
"Because I love Paul." She coldly stated.
"But why, I thought you loved me."
"I did but people change, I did but you didn't but you need to now Ash Ketchum, I'm not your anymore, I'm Paul's.
::End Flashback::
I had passed out in my room in the Pokemon center, I had a splitting headache so I stayed in bed. When I finally got out I saw Dawn walk by my room, I quickly closed the door but she put her boot in between it and walked in.
"Ash, we need to talk." She said, I knew that it wasn't about something friendly.
"No, you didn't want to talk when I did and now I'm not talking when you want to." I said, I glared at her angrily.
"You need to stop bothering me and Paul, we're together not us, understand?" She told me.
"Yes, I'll never bother you. Okay."
"Thank you." She kissed me on the cheek and immediate regretted it.
I shut the door behind her and looked out the window, 'what a beautiful day and such a great way to start it' I thought to myself.
That day I went to the drug store and picked up a new razor, I went back to my room and started to shave. I cut myself as I was shaving and looked into the mirror. I looked at the razor as an I idea formed.
"I'll never bother you again Dawn." I said to myself as I took the razor and brought it across my wrists a few times, it hurt but I knew it would all be over soon.
I laid on the cold floor waiting to die but as felt death's hand on me the door to the bathroom opened and in came Brock, he saw me and instantly knew what happened. He called for help and tried to stop the bleeding.
"No." I tried to say but I was to weak to get it out.
I woke up in a hospital bed, my friends and family were there all except Dawn, she knew what had caused me to do it. As everyone left, I was alone, May came back in and confronted me.
"Dawn is outside, she wanted to make sure that it was okay for her to come in." I nodded as I was to weak to talk.
Dawn entered the room, as beautiful as always, even in a situation like this.
"Ash, why?" She asked as tears streaked down her face.
"I-I didn't want to bother you." I could barely even get that out.
"No, that's not what I meant."
"I know, but it's what I wanted to do. This world is nothing but pain for me, I wanted to escape. I know it was the cowards way out but that's what I am." I coldly blurted out, I knew that I made her cry more but I couldn't help it.
"I broke it off with Paul, I know it's what caused you to do it."
"No. You were so happy with him." I told her.
"But my happiness means nothing if it comes at the cost of my friends life."
"If I were to have died earlier, would you have broken up with Paul?" I asked.
"Probably not." She stated.
"I need to be alone." I told her, my head was down, if I made eye contact she would know my plan to make everything better.
"Are you sure, you just-"
"I'm sure, I need to vent."
She left the room, as she did a tear ran down my face.
"I'm so sorry, Dawn." I muttered before I reached over and pulled a couple of chords out of some machines. A couple of sounds told me I had solved everyone's problems. Everything slowly faded to darkness and I could faintly here doctors rushing in.