• Hello!

    Please be aware that our content warnings system has recently been updated! Please refer to this thread for more information, or if you're unsure, feel free to contact a Workshop staff member!

    Thank you all for helping us ensure our community is a safe and healthy one, and for your continued patronage in our Library and Workshop.
  • Forum Moderator applications are now open! If you're interested in joining an active team of moderators for one of the biggest Pokémon forums on the internet, click here for info.

I'm With Stupid

Joined
Dec 14, 2008
Messages
4,178
Reaction score
92
I had an idea for a new fic, so I decided I'd test it out. Of course, this does not mean in any way that I am abandoning Rival's Story, I'm much more likely to abandon this tbh.

Anyway, it's not at all the same as Rival's Story and is certainly not consistent with Rival's Story. Whereas Rival's Story is based very heavily on the game, this story is based very loosely on the game. I might add also that this is a bit more light hearted than Rival's Story and so if you like Rival's Story, you might not necessarily like this. =P

Anyhoo, here it goes

Chapter 1

Gold woke up and looked at the clock next to him.

“Woah, I overslept!” he exclaimed to no one in particular, he threw on the first jumper and pair of shorts he could find, slung a backwards cap over his head and started out the door towards Professor Elm’s lab – today was the day that he got his first Pokémon, it was not a day that he could afford to be late on, Pokémon were doled out on a first come, first served basis and there were only three available. Of course, Gold was the only kid in New Bark Town and the offer was only open to young trainers so unless some kid travelled down from Cherrygrove or further, there wasn’t that much chance Gold wouldn’t get first pick no matter how late he arrived.

Gold, not exactly a morning person, stumbled into Professor Elm’s lab as if he was drunk, nearly knocking over his single lab assistant in the process.

“Ah,” said Professor Elm, “Look who decided to show up!”
“How’s it hangin’, Doc?” Gold greeted Elm.
“Actually it’s ‘Professor’,” responded Elm, straightening his lab coat out as if to further establish his point, “I assume you’re here for your Pokémon?”
“You got it, science man!” retorted Gold, who then proceeded to run up to the desk with the three Pokémon on it, sweep all the Poké Balls into his arm and throw them on the floor, releasing all three of them.
“Be careful, Gold!” yelled Elm, wondering what the world was coming to that this was all that Johto had to offer in the way of new Pokémon Trainers – this was the great Elm laboratories for crying out loud, sure, it was smaller than Oak’s, but it was still the best Pokémon research centre in Johto! Was this buffoon the only person who took an interest in Pokémon these days? What was the world coming to?

The three Pokémon stood on the floor next to each other, they eyed each other up with curiosity, poking each other and themselves with tails, arms and legs, even licking each other. It was obvious that these Pokémon were new to the world and were very eager to discover it.

“Well, Gold,” asked Elm impatiently, “Do you know which one you want?”
“Hold your horses, man!” responded Gold, “I need to feel them out first!”

Gold first approached a small green Pokémon with a big leaf on its head which stretched down across its back. It also had buds around its neck, it had four legs and no arms.

“What’s this one called, doc?” asked Gold.
“That’s Chikorita… And it’s Professor!” retorted Elm.
“Gotcha,” replied Gold calmly, he then turned to Chikorita, “No offence, buddy, but I don’t think you’re the Pokémon for me, I’m sure you’ll get a Trainer one day though.”

Chikorita looked sadly up at Gold, but then retreated itself to its Poké Ball without any kind of contest, Gold moved on to the next Pokémon without even looking back at Chikorita. It was a black and orange hedgehog like Pokémon, but instead of spines it possessed fire, Gold liked this one.

“What’s this one called, doc?” asked Gold.
“Cyndaquil,” snapped Elm, not even bothering to reprimand Gold for calling him ‘doc’ again, “You want that one, right?”
“I’m not sure…” pondered Gold, “I like it, but I feel like I should at least feel out this guy first…”

Gold turned to the last Pokémon uncertainly when suddenly the door to the lab flew open, a boy about Gold’s age wearing a black shirt, dark combat trousers and possessing long, red hair burst in, holding a gun. The boy grabbed Elm’s lab assistant and pointed the gun at his chin.

“Alright, give me a Pokémon or I’ll blow his brains all over the ceiling!” yelled the intruder.
“My, my,” responded Elm calmly, this boy was violent, but he looked a damn sight more competent than Gold so he thought he’d give him a chance, “Why you don’t need to be waving a gun around to get a Pokémon here… They’re free today!”
“Alright…” said the boy uncertainly, gesturing towards the Pokémon that was neither Chikorita nor Cyndaquil, “Chuck me that one.”
“What’s your name first, young man?” enquired Elm.
“Well… You guys haven’t told me your names yet!” snapped the boy.
“I’m Professor Elm,” responded Elm calmly, he then turned to Gold, gesturing to him to introduce himself.
“I’m Gold!” yelled Gold at the top of his voice.
“You’re… Gold?” pondered the young man, still holding a gun to the throat of the lab assistant, “Alright, well in that case, you can call me Silver.”
“Right then, Silver,” continued Elm, “You want the Water Pokémon, Totodile?”
“Yeah, sure, whatever, just chuck it to me,” snapped Silver.
Elm nodded to Gold who passed Totodile’s Poké Ball to Silver and then kicked the Pokémon itself in his direction.
“So this Pokémon is mine now, right?” checked Silver.
“That’s correct,” replied Elm happily, he was glad a competent looking young man had one of his Pokémon rather than just the useless Gold.
Silver returned Totodile to its Poké Ball and smiled, he released the lab assistant from his grip and turned to Elm, “Thanks, doc,” he said and left the lab.
 
Re: Gold & Silver's Big Adventure

Urrm, there's severla problems with this one. First off, the main problem, you didn't even use paragraphs for your speech. Second, you are supposed to start a new paragraph (kind ties in with the first point) every time someone different speaks, not just a new line. Third, it was a bit too similar to the RPG/Anime for my liking. Overall, it just had lots of grammatical issues and bad structure. I'm one for writing, not reviewing, so I'll leave that to someone else.
 
Re: Gold & Silver's Big Adventure

Silver? With a gun?

Reminds me of special Gold and Special Elm. Course, no one likes Elm so frankly that characterization is better.

It's no rival story,, but it'll do.
 
Re: Gold & Silver's Big Adventure

Urrm, there's severla problems with this one. First off, the main problem, you didn't even use paragraphs for your speech. Second, you are supposed to start a new paragraph (kind ties in with the first point) every time someone different speaks, not just a new line. Third, it was a bit too similar to the RPG/Anime for my liking. Overall, it just had lots of grammatical issues and bad structure. I'm one for writing, not reviewing, so I'll leave that to someone else.

I'm not sure exactly what you mean by paragraphs for speech because I thought I was doing that =S

I am very aware that I don't start a new line for speech, but I hate doing it, if that is a major problem then I will do it, but I just find a bit jarring personally.

And you're very right about it being too similar to the RPG/anime, I'm trying to base it on the games but make it original, but the problem it is, it's hard to vary it much at the start. If you're willing to keep reading, I'm hoping it will pick up after a couple of chapters just to get the ball rolling.

With regards to the "grammatical issues and bad structure" are you referring to the whole speech thing or are you talking about something else? If you're talking about something else could you please expand, I would really appreciate the chance to improve my writing.

Silver? With a gun?

Reminds me of special Gold and Special Elm. Course, no one likes Elm so frankly that characterization is better.

It's no rival story,, but it'll do.

I think a gun suits Silver excellently =D I'm not sure whether you're saying it's good for him or awful for him but I hope it's the former!

And I'm a big fan of Special myself so these characters are probably subconciously based off them - I didn't rip them off on purpose, I swear! And don't worry, after this chapter Elm won't feature ever again, I hate Elm,I would've much preferred to have Oak dole out the Pokemon - what a badass.

And as for it's obvious inferiority to Rival's Story, that's very, very true, and don't expect that to change ever. About ten times as much thought went into Rival's Story, but as I said above, this should pick up after two or three chapters while I get the ball rolling so please be patient with it!

Thanks for the reviews, guys, I find constructive criticism very useful so it's much appreciated.
 
Re: Gold & Silver's Big Adventure

He just means start a new paragraph with each new speaker's quote. It makes it easier to tell who's talking.
 
Re: Gold & Silver's Big Adventure

Wow liked it! I was very happy when I found out that you were writing a fan-fic with Gold in it,so i will be reading!
 
Re: Gold & Silver's Big Adventure

I'm sure it would attract more readers. For sure. I like that name for it.

Oh, and the fanfic itself made me roflmao.
 
Re: Gold & Silver's Big Adventure

Edit your first post then go advanced. Then you can change it.

I always wonder why so few people know that, but whatever helps.
 
Sorry to double post, but it's that time again - new chapter time!

And just so everyone knows, I am British so if you're not familiar with a word or is spelt slightly differently than you might expect it might just be a localisation (it might just be a spelling error, but there you go!)

Hope you enjoy this new chapter, guys!

Chapter 2

Silver began walking along Route 29 so that he could get on with his business when he heard something behind him, a rustling… It may be a wild Pokémon… Silver lightly grasped Totodile’s Poké Ball, just in case, he didn’t have any Poké Balls, so he wouldn’t be able to catch it, but he wanted to be able to defend himself. Silver didn’t turn around, but he continued to hear the rustling – it appeared to be following him. Suddenly, Silver turned, throwing out Totodile’s Poké Ball.

“Totodile! Attack!” yelled Silver at the top of his voice.

As Silver turned he saw Gold eating a packet of crisps, much closer than he had thought the wild Pokémon was, resulting in Totodile’s Poké Ball hitting Gold in the face.

“Ow! Watch it!” shouted Gold, rubbing his face.
“You idiot!” retorted Silver, “You’re just lucky I went for my Pokémon instead of my gun like I usually do or you’d be minus a face right now!”
“Jeez,” answered Gold, “Someone got out on the wrong side of the bed this morning!”
“God damn it!” cried Silver, “Why are you following me anyway?”
“Who says I’m following you?” responded Gold, “Maybe we’re just going the same way.”
“Fine!” shouted Silver, “Don’t talk to me then!”

Silver continued along Route 29 towards Cherrygrove, constantly hearing the rustling of Gold’s packet of crisps as he did so. Silver tried to remain calm, but he could not, eventually he turned round and shot Gold a dirty look.

“What?” asked Gold in genuine confusion, then he looked to his crisp packet, “Oh, sorry…”
Silver looked happy for a moment, but then Gold continued talking, “I should have offered you one, you want one, man?”

Silver, in his fury, knocked the packet of crisps out of Gold’s hand and on to the floor.

“Hey, I was eating those!” protested Gold, looking to the floor at his spilt crisps.

Gold fell silent for a moment and continued to look at the crisps, considering whether or not picking them up and continuing eating would be acceptable.

“I swear to God if you pick those crisps up off the floor and eat them, I will shoot you in the stomach,” stated Silver, with growing annoyance.
“Jeez,” answered Gold, taking his eyes off the crisps, “Take a chill pill, alright already.”

Silver continued towards Cherrygrove with Gold still a few steps behind him and before long the duo arrived.

“So, I suppose we’ll be heading our separate ways now,” said Silver to Gold.
“Why are you so eager to get rid of me?” asked Gold, “I think we make quite a team.”
“Well I disagree, I’ve got things to do and I’m sure you have too,” answered Silver.
“Well you’re right there,” replied Gold, “I’m gonna get all the Badges of Johto and become the League Champ!”
Silver could not help but laugh in Gold’s face, “You? The League Champ? Don’t be ridiculous! You know what, I might hang around with you after all, this should be a laugh. I need to head to Violet first anyway.”
“What’s a Violet?” asked Gold, genuinely confused.
“Good Lord, you’re gonna need my help to even have a chance, aren’t you?” stated Silver, “Well, I suppose I can take a little time out of my busy schedule to give you a hand, let’s catch some Pokémon and then let’s head on to Violet!”



Foot note: In case you don’t know, crisps = potato chips
 
I find this quite hilarious. Probably because I liked thinking out things like this when playing Silver. The crowning moment of stupid right there made me break out laughing. Seriously, "What's a Violet?"
 
Chapter 3

After spending the day in Cherrygrove City enjoying each other’s company, Gold and Silver, fully equipped with dozens of Poké Balls, headed up to Route 30, where Gold was supposed to be catching his second Pokémon.

“Alright, Gold,” said Silver, “Let’s get catching, you’re gonna need more than one Pokémon to beat the Gym Leader of Violet City!”

Gold didn’t even answer Silver, it was time to be serious now, he skulked low in the grass, pretending to be Rambo, waiting for a Pokémon to jump out at him, he had Cyndaquil on his shoulder, ready to attack at a moment’s notice.

“Alright, Cyndaquil, you ready?” said Gold, following which he paused thoughtfully, “You know what, calling you ‘Cyndaquil’ every time is a bit long winded, from now on, I’m calling you ‘Cindy’,” Gold paused and then continued, “Okay, so, Cindy, are you ready?”

Cindy nodded in response and Gold continued to search for a Pokémon. All of a sudden, Gold felt something crawling up the leg of his shorts.

“Oh God no!” yelled Gold at the top of his voice, “Cindy! Do whatever you have to!”

Cindy proceeded to use Ember on Gold’s shorts, smoking out the Rattata that had dared to venture in, but setting Gold’s shorts alight and leaving him with some quite serious burns on the shorts covered area.

“Silver! Silver!” shouted Gold, “Get Totodile to Water Gun me!”

Silver reacted fast and had Totodile use Water Gun to put out Gold’s shorts and then told Gold to get back to work.

“Hey!” responded Gold, “This ain’t easy, you know! I tried the Rambo position and everything! I’d like to see you catch a Pokémon!”

Silver simply looked at Gold with a condescending glare, grabbed two Poké Balls from his waist and sent out a Spinarak and a Hoothoot. Gold refused to acknowledge Silver’s obvious superiority and instead decided to get back to work catching a Pokémon. Before long, a wild Pidgey caught Gold’s eye, so he sent out Cindy and ordered a Smoke Screen so it wouldn’t be able to avoid the Poké Ball when it was thrown. The wild Pidgey began to choke on the smoke and Gold ordered an Ember attack, which Cindy delivered effectively.

‘Alright,’ Gold thought to himself, ‘It’s Poké Ball time!’

Gold grabbed a Poké Ball from its bag and threw it as hard as he could at the Pidgey, unfortunately, he threw it a little too hard and the Ball went flying way above Pidgey landing in the lake by the side of the Route. Gold instinctively went to grab another Poké Ball from his bag when he found a huge hole in the bottom – probably chewed out by a Rattata during his attempted Rambo style capture earlier… He had failed to catch a Pokémon and now he was out of Poké Balls.

“Hey, idiot,” yelled Silver from further along the Route, “Looks like you caught something.”

Silver tossed Gold a dripping wet Poké Ball, which Gold failed to catch. Gold picked up the Poké Ball from the ground and summoned the Pokémon from within.

“I caught myself a Poliwag!” he exclaimed as the Pokémon burst out from the Poké Ball, “There’s no way I’m gonna lose in Violet City now!”

Gold's Team: Cyndaquil, Poliwag
Silver's Team: Totodile, Spinarak, Hoothoot
 
Awwww! Please don't tell me you've given up and abandoned this fanfic! Rival Story's good and all, really good in fact, but this one made me laugh so much!

“I swear to God if you pick those crisps up off the floor and eat them, I will shoot you in the stomach,”

Especially that bit XD
 
Awwww! Please don't tell me you've given up and abandoned this fanfic! Rival Story's good and all, really good in fact, but this one made me laugh so much!



Especially that bit XD


I'm afraid this is a long dead fic, my friend. You simply must have found this on my bibliography blog page.


Thanks for the support though. If enough people want me to I might restart this but updates will be IRREGULAR. That said, I don't know that many people would want me to continue.

People, please only ask me to continue if you really like it because I'm writing enough already - I will only write this if there is demand.

Sorry if this sounds cocky.
 
i hope you do continue it, i just now saw it because goldenrod girl posted. If you do continue, ill read.
 
Please note: The thread is from 16 years ago.
Please take the age of this thread into consideration in writing your reply. Depending on what exactly you wanted to say, you may want to consider if it would be better to post a new thread instead.
Back
Top Bottom