Invent an excuse for the user above to say it wasn't you

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A girl called kill
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Title self-explanatory.

The game's fairly simple, I'll leave a simple example:

User A: "Who broke my window!?"
User B: "Why do you look at me!? It.. it wasn't me, you see, children nowadays play with balls everywhere, so that's why your windows ended up broken.

BUT... who the hell stole my chair!?"

And it goes on and on, easy, right? It's so damn easy.

So, I start:

WHO BROKE MY CDS?
 
no, that was your teacher

who destroyed my pencil?
 
Uhh no, it was that guy over there

Who ate my lolipop?
 
Not me, it was my nephew

Who was the wise guy who stole my computer?
 
Not gonna lie, I did

Who stole my Cheetos?
 
Why must you blame me? It was probably that damn cheetah.

But, who took my Pop-Tarts?
 
Dont look at meh! *crumbs fall*

WHO PUT THAT IN MAH MOUTH!?
 
Not me. I think it was a Haunter. It went that way!! =O *points*

Hey, who took my hat?
 
Not me, the guy on this bike behind me took it.

Who took my card?
 
I think you did!

Who stole my salt???
 
I think you dropped it *eats salt and vinegar chips*

Heyyy who took my paddleball stick??
 
The inventors of ball-in-a-cup.

Who took my childhood?
 
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