Ok, here's a revised version of a prologue of a Fanfic i have posted on another forum.
I will get Chp 1 up as soon as i can find the paper it's written on.
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The Storm threw the boat like a ball, lightning crashed all around, the waves were rough.
Piloting the boat was a challenge for Andrew, he had never seen a storm this bad.
As he steered the boat back and forth, avoiding giant waves, He sighted a rock in the distance, "Good", he thought "a rock means land".
As he was steering back and forth trying to pull alongside the rock, an unexpected wave came crashing over the side of the boat, knocking it off course and straight towards the rock.
"NOO" He yelled, trying to bring the boat back on course, but to no avail. "The rudder must be broken" he thought.
As he looked out the window of the boat, he realized he was heading straight for the rock, with less than 50 feet to go.
Realizing he had to bail, He yelled "Whiscash! Go!" and threw its Pokeball in the air. In a white flash, out came the stout form of the Mud Fish Pokemon.
"Whis-Whiscash" he heard it cry. "Take us to land Whiscash" he yelled, and with the expected response: "Whis-cash", they set off for land.
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Please tell me what you think.
NEW! Here's the LOLcat edition:
TEH STORM THREW TEH BOAT LIEK BALL, LIGHTNIN CRASHD ALL AROUND, TEH WAVEZ WUZ ROUGH.
PILOTIN TEH BOAT WUZ CHALLENGE 4 ANDREW, HE HAD NEVR SEEN STORM DIS BAD.
AS HE STEERD TEH BOAT BAK AN FORTH, AVOIDIN HOOJ WAVEZ, HE SIGHTD RAWK IN DA DISTANCE, "GUD", HE THOT "A RAWK MEANZ LAND".
AS HE WUZ STEERIN BAK AN FORTH TRYIN 2 PULL ALONGSIDE TEH RAWK, AN UNEXPECTD WAVE CAME CRASHIN OVAR TEH SIDE OV TEH BOAT, KNOCKIN IT OFF COURSE AN STRAIGHT TOWARDZ TEH RAWK.
"NOO" HE YELLD, TRYIN 2 BRIN TEH BOAT BAK ON COURSE, BUT 2 NO AVAIL. "TEH RUDDR MUST BE BROKD" HE THOT.
AS HE LOOKD OUT TEH WINDOW OV TEH BOAT, HE REALIZD HE WUZ HEADIN STRAIGHT 4 DA RAWK, WIF LES THAN 50 FEET 2 GO.
REALIZIN HE HAD 2 BAIL, HE YELLD "WHISCASH! GO!" AN THREW ITZ POKEBALL IN DA AIR. IN WITE FLASH, OUT CAME TEH STOUT FORM OV TEH MUD FISH POKEMON.
"WHIS-WHISCASH" HE HERD IT CRY. "TAEK US 2 LAND WHISCASH" HE YELLD, AN WIF TEH EXPECTD RESPONSE: "WHIS-CASH", THEY SET OFF 4 LAND.
I will get Chp 1 up as soon as i can find the paper it's written on.
____________________________________________________________
The Storm threw the boat like a ball, lightning crashed all around, the waves were rough.
Piloting the boat was a challenge for Andrew, he had never seen a storm this bad.
As he steered the boat back and forth, avoiding giant waves, He sighted a rock in the distance, "Good", he thought "a rock means land".
As he was steering back and forth trying to pull alongside the rock, an unexpected wave came crashing over the side of the boat, knocking it off course and straight towards the rock.
"NOO" He yelled, trying to bring the boat back on course, but to no avail. "The rudder must be broken" he thought.
As he looked out the window of the boat, he realized he was heading straight for the rock, with less than 50 feet to go.
Realizing he had to bail, He yelled "Whiscash! Go!" and threw its Pokeball in the air. In a white flash, out came the stout form of the Mud Fish Pokemon.
"Whis-Whiscash" he heard it cry. "Take us to land Whiscash" he yelled, and with the expected response: "Whis-cash", they set off for land.
______________________________________________________________
Please tell me what you think.
NEW! Here's the LOLcat edition:
TEH STORM THREW TEH BOAT LIEK BALL, LIGHTNIN CRASHD ALL AROUND, TEH WAVEZ WUZ ROUGH.
PILOTIN TEH BOAT WUZ CHALLENGE 4 ANDREW, HE HAD NEVR SEEN STORM DIS BAD.
AS HE STEERD TEH BOAT BAK AN FORTH, AVOIDIN HOOJ WAVEZ, HE SIGHTD RAWK IN DA DISTANCE, "GUD", HE THOT "A RAWK MEANZ LAND".
AS HE WUZ STEERIN BAK AN FORTH TRYIN 2 PULL ALONGSIDE TEH RAWK, AN UNEXPECTD WAVE CAME CRASHIN OVAR TEH SIDE OV TEH BOAT, KNOCKIN IT OFF COURSE AN STRAIGHT TOWARDZ TEH RAWK.
"NOO" HE YELLD, TRYIN 2 BRIN TEH BOAT BAK ON COURSE, BUT 2 NO AVAIL. "TEH RUDDR MUST BE BROKD" HE THOT.
AS HE LOOKD OUT TEH WINDOW OV TEH BOAT, HE REALIZD HE WUZ HEADIN STRAIGHT 4 DA RAWK, WIF LES THAN 50 FEET 2 GO.
REALIZIN HE HAD 2 BAIL, HE YELLD "WHISCASH! GO!" AN THREW ITZ POKEBALL IN DA AIR. IN WITE FLASH, OUT CAME TEH STOUT FORM OV TEH MUD FISH POKEMON.
"WHIS-WHISCASH" HE HERD IT CRY. "TAEK US 2 LAND WHISCASH" HE YELLD, AN WIF TEH EXPECTD RESPONSE: "WHIS-CASH", THEY SET OFF 4 LAND.
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