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TEEN: - Complete Jinxed

Kurai

Like the Memory of a Kiss
Joined
Dec 31, 2002
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[color=227722]And now for something new and daring! Sorry if this section comes out a bit funny. -.o;; It's been a month since I actually wrote.[/color]
  • Mild Cartoon Violence.
  • Threat
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The sky was overcast that day. I'd always noticed that the most Pokémon come out right after it rains, and today was no exception. All through the forest I saw a menagerie, from Sentret and Rattata scavenging for fruit and nuts knocked off the trees by the rain, to Pidgey coming out from the cover they'd taken, to even a few Murkrow and Hoothoot that were gradually in greater and greater number as night fell. It granted me a sense of impending doom, as if something were coming. Though my suspicions were merely my being on edge. I hadn't found any cover in the storm, and I was soaked.

I set up camp that night in the hollow of an old tree that had been worn away by years of rainwater, insects, and roosting Pokémon. The cavity was quite large enough, both for me and my partner. I grinned at my fortune and chuckled, running my hand through the short black hair on my head which looked like a mop of sorts. Slipping into something more comfortable than the black, white, and pink sweatsuit I'd worn in the rain, I curled into the hollow for half an hour before getting up again to make a fire.

I sat by the fire I'd made, with Bellossom by my side. While my icy blue eyes seemed to melt in the dancing flames, I began to notice, bit by bit, the flames throw glitter up into the air, and the place soon smelled of incense. It took me several minutes to realise that iti had been Bellossom sporing a mix of her pollens into the fire. She'd wanted to take my mind off of what had been bothering me.

Patting her on the head gently, I smiled my simple teenaged smile. "Thanks, Bellossom."

"Bell, bell oss om," she cooed, smiling warmly back at me. The love between a true trainer and her Pokémon is always deep and wonderful. Such is the bond between Bellossom and me.

The night drudged onward and Bellossom and I had decided to turn in for the night. As I swathed myself in the silken pinkness of my sleeping bag, I felt warmer curled up by Bellossom's side. We'd been together since she was an Oddish, and I'd been there at both times of her evolutions. We'd been through a lot, the two of us, yet still we were strong. I smiled again, placing a hand gently on the flower-type's shoulder, falling asleep watching her petals close up.

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We were awakened abruptly by a terrible dischord reverberating throughout the tree. I poked my head out of the tree and looked around to find an Ariados boring the tree to add to the stability of her web. I freaked a bit, not fond of bugs in the slightest, and Bellossom got up and rushed out, believing I needed protection. That belief was proven true when the Ariados spat a length of web at me which struck my arm and tacked to the ground, creating a bond that I couldn't break. I was stuck.

"Sssss, dos," the arachnid hissed, irate with us.

"You're tired, Bellossom," I warned, concerned. "You shouldn't be battling, especially against a Bug-type."

"Bellellellellossom," she told me, upset, almost as if to complain that I didn't want her to help me.

Just that look in her eyes made me falter, and I nodded. "Stun Spore!"

As the flower-type's twin buds atop her head released the strange orange powder upon Ariados, the arachnid took aim and spat a Poison Stinger at her, striking her in her right shoulder. As the Ariados began to become paralysed by the Spore, so I noticed the toll the poison begin to take effect on Bellossom.

"Hold in there, Bellossom. We can escape this! Let loose a Razor Wind on Ariados!"

The Ariados got the first strike in again, raining an angry flurry of Pin Missiles upon Bellossom. Crying out, I tried to break the web again, only to be tethered back. Tears in my eyes, I could see holes pierced throughout her foliage and needles stuck in her body.

She looked to me in pain, then to Ariados. "Bell..." she growled. She worked quickly and began to spin faster and faster, creating a miniature tornado which soon rushed up at the arachnid, gouging her exoskeleton with hundreds of microscopic wind compressed pockets of air.

The arachnid screeched, disliking it entirely, and, when the wind had fallen, so did the arachnid—right out of the tree and into a bush.

Terribly weak, she looked to me not more than a moment before she collapsed. I rushed up to her, the wind she'd picked up having broken the web, and cradled her in my lap, crying. "Bellossom, it'll be all right. Just hang in there. I'll find some way to get you to a Pokémon Centre and you'll be fresh as a daisy!" I knew that if she'd been conscious she'd have tittered at the bad pun. She'd always liked my bad puns.

I heard something in the underbrush and looked up to find four more Ariados had made their way onto the scene. "Go away!" I shooed. terrified. "I have no means of defending myself! Can't you see that your friend defeated mine?"

Their only response was a low, unified hiss.

I cowered as I saw them begin to advance on me, shielding Bellossom's small body under mine. 'She'll be all right so long as I shield her from them,' I reassured myself. 'I just hope that someone finds us by morning and takes her to the Centre...' I worried.

And, with that last thought, the four Ariados ganged up on me and rained a terrible four-source Pin Missile upon me. I felt immeasureable pain which soon was dulled by unconsciousness.

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I felt cold. Nothing but cold. Even the sheer softness I sensed around me felt cold.

I heard the rustle of clothing. There were several people around me.

I'd been found. But I could tell Bellossom wasn't with me.

I shot up from where I lay in shock, only to cry out in pain. I'd been covered in foot-long needles, covered in spider webs, and badly poisoned the night before. Even so much as breathing hurt.

It was then that I discovered those around me. I looked to them and they returned the gaze. All of them were beautiful young women with young, beautiful bodies, yet they hid their faces in the darkness of the hoods of cloaks despite the torches they held in their hands. Their intricate gowns were fashioned only from pale white, crimson, and black, covered in laces and buckles. I'd been found by a cult and dragged into their cave.

"Where is my Bellossom?" I asked them, hunching over as I sat there, unable to support myself due to the pain. The crimson sheets I'd been wrapped in.... They were made of Ariados silk....

'Your friend is with our healers,' one replied, her voice rich and soothing.

I freaked even more when I realised that the one that had spoken was a telepath. She'd spoken in my head! My gaze darted from one to another. I was surrounded by seven of them. Though they seemed to distance themselves from me, I could tell that they accepted my presence.

'What is your name?' a younger, more vibrant one asked.

"Maux." I hesitated. "Could I ask who you are?" I inquired, looking to each of them. They didn't respond, but instead gathered around me, and each of four picked up an end of the stretcher that I'd been laid upon, and began to carry me off. I suppose I'll find out soon enough, I mumbled to myself.

"Jyuuuhra," the eldest mused behind me.
 
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You hurt Bellossom! ;_:
If I didn't love you so much I'd hate you, but so long as it gets better, I'm looking forward to reading more ^^;
 
I have three words you really need to hear now.

"Write" "more" and "now". In that order :).

That was a very catchy beginning, and I really'd like to see more :)
 
@o@ Good fic. Makes me wonder when I'll ever write one. Heh. The cult sounds like a group of female Druids.
 
[color=227722]:evil: If you only knew, Teapot-kun.... :naughty:[/color]
 
Wow

Kurai, this was outstanding as always, very very nice. I was expecting you to kill off the Bellosom, but judging from Muy's reaction that wasn't an option.

Your writing style is brilliant (I may be biased though after spending the past week at FF.net *shudder*). It seems the Ariados was attacking on purpose... I wonder if that's the case seeing where she woke up.

Astral, there are female druids. Read Mists of Avalon.

Anyways, nice job kurai and I can only agree with Damian.

MORE!

~Deki
 
Jyuuuhra...isn't that the Darkness Faerie? No wait, that's Jhudora...

...I defy anyone to get that...

Anyway, very nice work! I know there will be some curse or something, given the title *and the spelling, as it wasn't Jynx, but the word-form 'jinx'...*
 
No Problem.

Blackjack, that's easy.

Jhudora the Dark Faerie: Sends out neopets and their owners in quests for overpriced items. Enemy of Illusen. Illusen's Glade was recently destroyed in the Meridell war causing the price of Honey Potions to skyrocket.

If you have been playing Neopets as long as I have that's no problem.

Hehe Jinx spelled regularly looks odd. I much prefer the Pokemon way :)

~Deki who is eagerly awaitng more of this story.
 
[color=227722]God, how'd you guess the title had anything to do with Rujyuura, Deki? @_@;;;

*coughs* I suppose I got out of Neopets a little early to know anything about Jhudora. o_O;;;;

*sighs* It'll be a while until I'll have finished part two. ~.-; It's started, but not really into it yet.[/color]
 
A piece of catharsis, perhaps? ;)

Tis good, yes. ^^' It leaves me wondering about a lot of stuff, especially the Druids, the Ariados, and if they're connected in any way (they are, I'm guessing), which would suggest that the Druids have bad intentions. *shrug*

^_^;
 
[color=227722]*cough*

It probably gives more away than I'd like, but oh well. Fanart is fanart. XP[/color]

[color=22aacc][edit: Gomen. I keep forgetting that Fateback dousn't allow direct linking for images. >_<][/color]
 
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I was expecting you to kill off the Bellosom, but judging from Muy's reaction that wasn't an option.

Arcy Style: OMG NEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;_; ;_; ;_; ;_; ;_;!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Eh. Brilliant, I must say. It's a bit... snappy, at first, but once you're into it, it is very brilliant. And I'm waiting for the next part to see who these people are... somewhat Druidic, I thought at first, but I don't think so now.

And that image doesn't tell me much... except... dominatrix? <cough>, I need to get my head out of the gutter.

Eee! Cute boy just walked by my window. <stare>
 
[color=cccc66]
Pluvius, the dominatrix look is actually the sort of look I was going for, believe it or not. ^^; Gives a sense of looming danger to Maux. o_O Gawd I need to work on part II. >.<;;

And several have found you familiar and wondered about you. Are you from any other boards?[/color]
 
Mistress H. <cough> <snickers> <explodes into laughter>

<calms down> Excuse my insane referrence.

But anyway. Dominatrix look is whoa, laughter, and I shall now start a business to pluck the leaves out of people's hair. You know, how they've got their heads stuck in the gutter; it's so easy to get those annoying leaves in your hear...

<plucks a few out>

And they have? How interesting... who? The tensions killing me (and it's gonna kill her, <collapses once more into laughter>), though, chiken run references asides, yes, I am from TPM, and about fifty other forums, but TPM was the main one; go (and went) by the name Togechukku>

Ring a bell?

<cackles>

stupid reference to my last name... assumed, however it may be.

<stops rambling>
 
Review: Jinxed
I do love a story which brings up the topic of ethics in the pokémon world. The battle sequence with the Ariados is short, but it gets to the point. Ariados are poisonous, after all and being bitten or poisoned by one would be a painful, and stressful situation to find yourself in. While the trainer seems to hold it together, they seemed more unnerved by the telepath than the Ariados attack, which is an interesting choice. It tells us that in this world, telepaths are not common, and when they are around, there could be a level of distrust. Either that or the telepath is a talking pokémon, which opens a whole new can of worms for characters.

Unfortunately, it looks like your BBCODE is on the wonk, and might need a little bit of a fix. It happens to everyone, so it isn’t a big deal.

Grammatically, the piece reads fine. I didn’t spot any spelling mistakes, or anything that seemed wrong. Although, there are some places where you could merge paragraphs, and that would help with the flow of the story. Despite this, it was an enjoyable piece, and very well-written.
 
Please note: The thread is from 10 months ago.
Please take the age of this thread into consideration in writing your reply. Depending on what exactly you wanted to say, you may want to consider if it would be better to post a new thread instead.
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