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Jodie's Story: A Mystery Dungeon Fanfic (E 10+)

F

Foxstar

Moo, I'm a fish :U
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Prologue​


“Hang on!” My friend shouted. “I’m trying!” I replied. We were caught in what seemed to be a terrible storm. “Not much longer!” He shouted. “I can’t! I’m slipping!” I shouted back at him. “Please! Try to hold on!” The winds were gusting much harder now, and I could barely hear him. “I can’t!” I told him, then in a whisper added, “I’m sorry.” and let go of his hand…
 
OK, this really isn't a prologue. We have no sense of character, no sense of place (we're left to *assume* that the characters are somewhere high but it's never stated), no sense of anything other than "me and my friend are in a storm and I let go of his hand and for some reason this is bad".

Additionally, even though multiple people are talking, there's only one paragraph, with no breaks when the speaker changes.
 
Please note: The thread is from 16 years ago.
Please take the age of this thread into consideration in writing your reply. Depending on what exactly you wanted to say, you may want to consider if it would be better to post a new thread instead.
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