Lessons in Pokémon - D: Ended.

[revolvingscott]

Okay, I previously posted the first two chapters of this up here months ago and since then I lost the love of writing but I recently got it back (with a little help from my friend) and so I deleted my old thread and revised the first two chapters.

Contents
Learning How to Win Over the Hearts and Minds of Others
Learning How to Leave
Learning How to Say Goodbye
Learning How to Operate a Pay Phone


I hope this will turn out better than the last one. Please comment and criticise, I really want some because if I don't get any I'll start to stop caring.

So, without further ado: Your prologue Ladies and Gentlemen!

Prologue - Learning How to Win over the Hearts and Minds of Others​

Sitting there, alone, in a cream coloured armchair was a 15 year old girl, Amelia. Amelia was a tall, brunette with long, straightened hair that came flowing down to her waist. She was wearing an official pokémon league t shirt, a silver waistcoat and a knee length peach skirt. Her legs were long, thin and crossed; her arms the same way.*

"Ah! Miss Ford, Would you mind coming this way?"*A smiling plump woman in her mid 30's said from behind the armchair. Amelia obeyed and followed her into a large office, the entire office was organised; bliss for Amelia, this put her into a more relaxed attitude. Sitting behind a large mahogany desk in the exact centre of the room, surrounded by bookshelves and various pieces of electronic equipment was a man of medium build with a short mop of black hair resting atop his handsome face partially covered by a pair of black rimmed glasses.*

"Hello, I'm Amadeus, you'll be applying for the mentorship with me", the man said while standing up to greet her, "Before we start, are there any questions for me beforehand?"

"Well, actually, there is one thing..." Amelia said tentatively before trailing off.

"Dont be shy" Amadeus said, looking down his glasses at her.

"Well, I was just wondering whether there was any chance of getting a more famous mentor? I mean, I'm sure you're an excellent battler and all but what I really wanted was to be mentored by one of the people off of the adverts." As soon as the words left her mouth, she regretted saying them, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you!" she quickly added.
*
Amadeus just leaned back in his chair and looked at her, his gaze made her uneasy and she tried to avoid eye contact at all costs.

"I see, I can understand where you're coming from but I'm afraid they're all taken." He said, trying to act as if he wasn't offended, "I'm afraid you're pretty much stuck with me!" He added trying to pass it off as a joke.

"Well, okay, I guess. Could you please pretend I hadn't said anything from now on?"

"Consider it done. Now, let's get on with this interview!" he said, quickly changing the subject so as to avoid any awkward silences. "What would you say your favourite pokémon is, the one that you would most like to train?"

"Well, ever since I was a little girl, I've always wanted to have a Houndoom. I don't know what it is about them but they just seem to have a quality that I love. My father used to have one, Omega was his name, he was so kind and gentle but after father left mother, I haven't seen him. Hell, for all I know, he could be dead by now."

"I see, good choice and very full answer. That was a great start!" Amadeus remarked. "Anyway, moving on. What's your main aspiration in life?"

"My main aspiration? Well, I would have to say that that's to open up my own dark-themed gym!" Amelia replied with an air of excitement growing in her voice as she spoke.

"With most of the other candidates, it's to beat the Elite 4 but I like your answer better, it's slightly more original." Amadeus said, he was beginning to like this girl. "Do you own a pokémon? Don't worry, this is just in case we have to set you up with one."

"Well, yes but it's still in its egg but I've been told it will hatch soon!" Amadeus noticed a sparkle fly past her eyes at the mere mention of the egg.*

"What pokémon's egg is it? Do you know?"*

"It's a Houndour egg!" Amelia replied, barely suppressing her elation.

"I see, so you will have one in one month whenever the journey begins, yes?"

"Oh yes! It'll definitely have hatched by then!"*
Amelia was still trying to control her excitement but was failing miserably.

"I see, and finally, yes this is a very short interview, if you get this mentorship, to where shall you be dragging me and what would it mean to you?"

"Well, I really want to take my Houndour to the Johto region as after studying up on him I hear that's his native region, isn't it?"

"Yes, it was recently discovered, in fact just last September 12th, that they are native to the Johto region." Amadeus said matter-of-factly.

"Well, good, I want to journey there and if I get this oppurtunity, I'll be the happiest girl alive. I have always wanted to be a pokémon trainer and have always wanted my own gym, my mother's not a battler and I haven't seen my father since I was 6 so he didn't have time to teach me to battle. If I get this I know I could be a good trainer, I just need the proper guidance that this scheme can give me and I will be so much closer to getting my own gym than if I didn't get this oppurtunity." Amelia replied, she was serious again, you could tell that this meant a great deal to her.

"Was that answer rehearsed?" Amadeus questioned only half-seriously.

"No, I really meant it and it's the truth." Amelia replied quickly.

"Well, in that case, I think you could be my strongest candidate yet. I think you'll be hearing from me soon!" he said with a great big, beaming smile.

"Oh! That would make all my dreams come true!" She said, the air of excitement in full swing once again. Amelia smiled at him, turned and left the room.

Amadeus looked down at his notes and pressed a button on his intercomm system, "Kylie, could you please send in the next trainer?" he said into it. Taking his finger off the buzzer he said to himself, "Although, he'd better be good if he even stands a chance after her."

 

[revolvingscott]

Chapter 1 - Learning How to Leave

Chapter 1 - Learning How to Leave​

The sun had only just glimmered on the horizon but Amelia was already up, fully dressed and full of beans. Her Houndour, Abyss, was watching her out of one eye, sleepily. He let out a sigh as she, once again, checked the mobile phone on her bedside cabinet, no calls, no texts.*

“Why can’t people reply these days?” she thought out loud.

Between you and me, I’ll tell you exactly why, it just so happened to be 5.01am.

Why was Amelia so excited? Well, I’ll tell you, today was the day she was starting her pokémon journey! She was wearing a pink waistcoat over a clean, white top with a short, grey skirt to match.

“Oh, Abyss! Are you ready for what’s going to begin later?” She exhaled excitedly as she fell to the floor to lie beside Abyss’ bed. She rolled onto her side so she could look into the black beast’s eyes.

“Ruff”, Abyss replied, he was obviously losing patience with her. It was entertaining at first to see her jumping about the room blabbering on about “Elite Four” this and “Gym Leader” that but he soon grew tired of it.

“Fine, suit yourself!” Amelia replied scornfully as she got up to exit the room.

“I’m going to go make breakfast”, she added, getting the reaction she wanted. Abyss’ ears suddenly pricked up as he turned to look directly at her, making eye contact.

“Come on then!” her voice had quickly returned to its normal tone.

Houndour bounded across the room as she walked along her upstairs landing. A long, thin corridor with three doors leading off it; one leading to her bedroom, one leading to her mother’s and the final one led into the bathroom, complete with shower, toilet and sink.

The duo entered the kitchen. Amelia opened the door and Abyss bounded straight through her legs and jumped up, trying to reach the topmost cupboard.

“Okay, you eat first then”, Amelia said, trying to put on a pretence that she minded.

After feeding herself and her pokémon, she cleaned up and checked the time on a big clock with the face of a Shinx in the centre with the two hands sprouting from its nose. It was only 5.37, Amelia had hours until she had to leave.

“What shall I do in the meantime?” Amelia pondered to herself.*


“What do you want to do Abyss?” Amelia called into the living room where Abyss had already stationed himself, sprawled out on a small armchair in the corner of the room, his eyes shut and breathing loudly through his nose.

“I asked you a question!” Amelia exclaimed, entering the living room. It was a small room, a 3-seater sofa in the centre of the room facing a television with a small screen, in the corner was a CD player and a small collection of CD’s stacked upon one another. Everything was modest and the room gave the impression that the family had very little wealth.

Houndour exhaled at Amelia and closed his eyes again, trying to get some sleep.*

“Fine!” Amelia was the one losing her patience now as she stormed out.

She stormed back up to her bedroom. Closing the door behind her, she only just stopped herself from slamming the it. She quickly surveyed her room, in the far corner was Abyss’ bed beside a large,*looming*wardrobe that contained the clothes Amelia wasn’t taking with her, along one side of the wall was a single bed with a black bedspread sprawled across it. Finally, just behind her was a computer, ever since her interview, Amelia had started to look up this “Amadeus” on the internet and she was certainly impressed!

“It seems Amadeus put no effort into his battle against Bugsy, Azalea Town’s formidable bug boy. With his small but trusty Magby by his side, Amadeus was able to wipe the floor with Bugsy. This was Bugsy’s second defeat this year and with it being mid-Summer, Bugsy is clearly a formidable opponent. More details on next page.”

Amelia gaped at the screen upon reading this a month ago. She always expected since Amadeus wasn’t a gym leader and she’d never heard of him, he wasn’t that good as a trainer but 15 minutes into her research her prejudices were disproven. She felt the need to apologise for her remarks to him at the beginning of the interview, she decided to do it if he called to let her know she had received the place with him and that was a big “if” after what she had said.*

Whenever he finally did call her house number, she was the only one in the house, her mother was out side tending to the garden while Abyss ran around chasing Butterfree, he had only recently learnt to use his fire but found it a bit too hard to control so Amelia was keeping a close eye on him from the kitchen window. She picked up the phone, with one eye still on Abyss.

“Hello, Amelia?” a familiar voice came from the receiver.

“Erm, yes. Who is this?” Amelia replied, she couldn’t place the voice but had a guess.

“Amadeus, from the mentoring…” Amadeus began

“Oh my God!” Amelia cut in, her suspicions were correct.

“Yes, yes. I don’t have much time so I’ll make this brief; I want you to join me.” Amadeus said bracing himself on the other end of the line, waiting for Amelia’s excited response.

“Yes! Oh my God! Yes!” Amelia didn’t disappoint in her reaction.

“There’s one thing though, although we will be travelling through Johto. I want to bring some other people with me."

"Some of your powerful trainer-friends?" Amelia replied, she hadn't grasped what he was talking about.

"No, two other young trainers."

"Oh." Amelia said. "Am I really in a position to say no?" she said only half jokingly. *

“Well, if that’s all settled then I guess that’s that, the company will send you the details of when we’ll meet up. Until then!” Amadeus ended.

“One more thing,” Amelia said, “I’d like to apologise for my remarks concerning wanting a different mentor, after researching you, I realise how wrong I was and how much I would like you to be my mentor.” Amelia told him.

“Thank you, I’ll see you in Johto!” Amadeus said as he hung up the phone.

The phone that was still on her bedside table started to vibrate. Amelia was drawn out of her flashback and walked across the room to get it, the screen was flashing, “Text Message Received” Pressing the largest button below the screen, the text appeared

“Amelia, are you going today?”

It was a text from her best friend, Daniel. He was insanely jealous of her for getting the mentor and having the ability to start on a pokémon journey with him. Daniel was going to start his next month, on his own.*

“Yes! I’m so excited!” she quickly typed into the phone. Although she didn’t want to admit it to herself, she was going to miss him. She was going to miss everybody and everything, her house, her family, Daniel in particular.*

He replied swiftly with, “Okay, good luck, might see you out there?” She smiled, she knew they would meet out there, they both wanted to go to Johto, they both loved dark type pokémon and they both wanted to become a gym leader one day.

“We will, don’t worry! When we do, I’ll battle you but don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you!” she replied smiling, but she wasn’t smiling on the inside.

“Amelia, are you awake?” Amelia’s mother; a tall, slender woman wearing a bathrobe over her small nightclothes, inquired from the doorway, “I should have known you’d be.” She added, with a touch of humour in her voice.

“Yeah, I’m up,” Amelia replied, “I leave in 3 hours, how could I not be?” Amelia replied.

“Okay, have you had breakfast?”

“Yes mother!” Amelia replied, with a facetious weariness.

Amelia listened as her mother went downstairs and started to make herself breakfast.

Abyss appeared at the doorway; he entered and turned to look at Amelia.

“I know, today’s the start of our adventure, Abyss! We’ve gotta look out for each other, k?” Amelia said, collapsing backwards so she was lying on the bed.*

 

[Eliana Rampage]

Re: Lessons in Pokémon

My comments are in bold!!!

Sitting there, alone, in a cream coloured armchair was a 15 year old girl, Amelia. Amelia was a tall, brunette with long, straightened hair that came flowing down to her waist. She was wearing an official pokémon league t shirt, a silver waistcoat and a knee length peach skirt. Her legs were long, thin and crossed; her arms the same way.* (most of this paragraph is GREAT- the descriptions are vibrant and provide a picture for the reader, but I’m not digging this- it’s a good simile, but the phrasing is awkward. I think it could be rephrased!)

"Ah! Miss Ford, Would you mind coming this way?"*A smiling plump woman in her mid 30's said (might I suggest a different word instead of ‘said’? perhaps ‘quipped’ or ‘asked’) from behind the armchair. Amelia obeyed and followed her into a large office, the entire office was organised; (this needs to transition from one part of the sentence to the next, could you maybe find some words to put in here?) bliss for Amelia, this put her into a more relaxed attitude. Sitting behind a large mahogany desk in the exact centre of the room, surrounded by bookshelves and various pieces of electronic equipment was a man of medium build with a short mop of black hair resting atop his handsome face partially covered by a pair of black rimmed glasses.* (great description!)

"Hello, I'm Amadeus, you'll be applying for the mentorship with me", the man said while standing up to greet her, "Before we start, are there any questions for me beforehand?"

"Well, actually, there is one thing..." Amelia said tentatively before trailing off.

"Dont be shy" Amadeus said, looking down his glasses (this is a bit awkward) at her.

"Well, I was just wondering whether there was any chance of getting a more famous mentor? I mean, I'm sure you're an excellent battler and all but what I really wanted was to be mentored by one of the people off of the adverts." As soon as the words left her mouth, she regretted saying them, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you!" she quickly added. (LOVE the character development, this made me giggle!)
*
Amadeus just leaned back in his chair and looked at her, his gaze made her uneasy and she tried to avoid eye contact at all costs.

"I see, I can understand where you're coming from but I'm afraid they're all taken." He said, trying to act as if he wasn't offended, "I'm afraid you're pretty much stuck with me!" He added trying to pass it off as a joke.

"Well, okay, I guess. Could you please pretend I hadn't said anything from now on?"

"Consider it done. Now, let's get on with this interview!" he said, quickly changing the subject so as to avoid any awkward silences. (I think you might be able to just leave it at “he said quickly”- let the reader have some room to create Amadeus’s personality!) "What would you say your favourite pokémon is, the one that you would most like to train?"

"Well, ever since I was a little girl, I've always wanted to have a Houndoom. I don't know what it is about them but they just seem to have a quality that I love. My father used to have one, Omega was his name, he was so kind and gentle but after father left mother, I haven't seen him. Hell, for all I know, he could be dead by now."

"I see, good choice and very full answer. That was a great start!" Amadeus remarked. "Anyway, moving on. What's your main aspiration in life?"

"My main aspiration? Well, I would have to say that that's to open up my own dark-themed gym!" Amelia replied with an air of excitement growing in her voice as she spoke.

"With most of the other candidates, it's to beat the Elite 4 but I like your answer better, it's slightly more original." Amadeus said, he was beginning to like this girl. "Do you own a pokémon? Don't worry, this is just in case we have to set you up with one."

"Well, yes but it's still in its egg but I've been told it will hatch soon!" Amadeus noticed a sparkle fly past her eyes at the mere mention of the egg.*

"What pokémon's egg is it? Do you know?"*

"It's a Houndour egg!" Amelia replied, barely suppressing her elation.

"I see, so you will have one in one month whenever the journey begins, yes?"

"Oh yes! It'll definitely have hatched by then!"*
Amelia was still trying to control her excitement but was failing miserably.

"I see, and finally, yes this is a very short interview, if you get this mentorship, to where shall you be dragging me and what would it mean to you?" (It just occured to me you never explained what this mentorship is- is that on purpose? It might be helpful to somehow include this in the prologue, so the reader doesn't get confused.)

"Well, I really want to take my Houndour to the Johto region as after studying up on him I hear that's his native region, isn't it?"

"Yes, it was recently discovered, in fact just last September 12th, that they are native to the Johto region." Amadeus said matter-of-factly.

"Well, good, I want to journey there and if I get this oppurtunity, I'll be the happiest girl alive. I have always wanted to be a pokémon trainer and have always wanted my own gym, my mother's not a battler and I haven't seen my father since I was 6 so he didn't have time to teach me to battle. If I get this I know I could be a good trainer, I just need the proper guidance that this scheme can give me and I will be so much closer to getting my own gym than if I didn't get this oppurtunity." Amelia replied, she was serious again, you could tell that this meant a great deal to her.

"Was that answer rehearsed?" Amadeus questioned only half-seriously.

"No, I really meant it and it's the truth." Amelia replied quickly.

"Well, in that case, I think you could be my strongest candidate yet. I think you'll be hearing from me soon!" he said with a great big, beaming smile.

"Oh! That would make all my dreams come true!" She said, the air of excitement in full swing once again. Amelia smiled at him, turned and left the room.

Amadeus looked down at his notes and pressed a button on his intercomm system, "Kylie, could you please send in the next trainer?" he said into it. Taking his finger off the buzzer he said to himself, "Although, he'd better be good if he even stands a chance after her."

Great prologue! I’m thoroughly impressed with the character development and rather intrigued by the whole mentorship thing. There were some instances of awkward phrasing and overextension of sentences…remember- flow of sentences is vital! Also, don’t feel like you have to explain every characters action- you have some GREAT character personalities, so let the reader develop them in their own minds! That way, the reader becomes emotionally attached.
Secondly, I noticed some unnecessary commas and missing periods…try and scan through your writing and find what I’m talking about so your piece will be squeaky clean!
I’m very pleased with this, you are a WONDERFUL writer and I’m really blown away by your descriptions. I’ll read Chapter One soon!

 

[revolvingscott]

Chapter 2 - Learning How to Say Goodbye

Well, here we are at Chapter 2 and I must warn you, there are references to "teen sexual relations" (teen fucking) and one use if bad language (excluding our old friend "fucking" over there). Btw, in this, don't expect any action (of the battling kind (OOH! I'M FILTHY!)) and some actually rather depressing topics. So, on that note, ENJOY!

Chapter 2 - Learning How to Say Goodbye​

Daniel was leaning on a garden wall at the end of a road he knew Amelia would have to walk down. He was waiting. Waiting for Amelia to walk past, he had to say goodbye in person.

"Sooool," came a voice from his side. He looked down to check on his Absol, the white furred pokémon was lying beside him, it was far too early for the poor Absol. He needed to get some more sleep so while Daniel waited he tried to get a bit of shut-eye.

"I know, just a couple more minutes," Daniel replied. "Then we can go home."

Amelia wasn't expecting to see Daniel as she walked down the road on her way to the airport. So imagine her surprise whenever she noticed him in the distance.*

"Dour!" Abyss barked as he started to run towards Absol.

"Sol!" Absol replied, jumping up. It was as if it didn't need anymore sleep.

As Amelia approached Daniel she couldn't help but stare into his deep, green eyes and remember why she fell in love with him in the first place.

"Daniel?" Amelia remarked, "What are you doing here?"

"I had to say goodbye in person."

"Em, okay..." The pair stood in a short awkward silence.

"I'm going to miss you." Daniel broke the silence.

"I'll miss you too." Amelia replied, leaning in to kiss Daniel. Daniel pulled her closer to him and kissed her back, for those fleeting few seconds it was as if they were the only two left in the universe.

"I'm going to miss those as well." Daniel added, after their lips were seperated.

"So will I."

"That's not the only thing I'm going to miss," Daniel added, his eyes gazing down Amelia body. Passed her low-cut pink blouse and silver waistcoat down to her light grey short skirt.

"I bet you will." Amelia teased. Pulling him closer to her. She placed her ear to his chest, listening to his heightened heart rate. She squeezed his right arm lightly. Daniel's whole body tensed.

"What was that?" Amelia questioned, pulling away slightly.

"What was what?" Daniel suddenly seemed very flustered.

"Have you...have you been cutting again?" Amelia asked.

"No! Of course not! I said I wouldn't!"

"Let me see your arm!" Amelia demanded. Daniel retreated his arm behind his back.

"Why? There's really no need to look."

"Daniel!" Amelia warned. Daniel relinquished, stretching his arm out. Amelia pulled the long sleeve of his turquoise top up.

"See. Nothing new!" Daniel exclaimed as they both looked at his arm, there was a column of thin scars going up the top of his arm.

"Hold on just a moment." Amelia pushed the sleeve up further until it was past his elbow. There, unmistakeably was a fresh slice into his arm. "YOU SAID YOU'D STOP!" Amelia roared at Daniel.

"I did!" Daniel replied quickly rolling his sleeve down.

"That was done very recently. Did you do that this morning?"

"No! I swear!"

"Just like how you swore to stop!" Amelia barked back furiously.

She could remember vividly the day she discovered Daniel's self harming problem. It couldn't have been longer than a year ago, she was definately fifteen at the time because it was the first time her and Daniel had sex. It was after the actual act itself. They were lying on her small, single bed whenever she jokingly said she wanted to see his biceps.

"You wanna see my guns?" Daniel had asked, laughing.

"Well, let's see if one of your weapons are big!" she teased.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Now come on, show me the muscles!" Daniel took his long sleeve T-Shirt off in one fluid motion. At first Amelia's eyes were drawn to his stomach, then his biceps (which were, in fact, rather large) and as she gazed at his pale frame she noticed some scars on his arm. Rows and rows of scars and then, upon closer inspection, a small number of scabs all lined up beside one another.

"What're those things on your arm?" Amelia asked, concerned.

"Nothing, they're just, nothing." Daniel replied quietly, trying to put his clothes back on. He couldn't believe that momentary lapse of cocentration would mean her finding out.

"No, that's definately something!" Amelia told him Daniel had almost managed to get fully dressed in such a short timespan.

"Look, I'll see you later." Daniel said before leaving her alone on the bed, naked and worrying.

Ever since then it's been a constant struggle to get him to stop.

"I'm sorry. I promise this is the last one." Daniel's words brought Amelia back to the present.

"When've I heard that before?" Amelia replied sarcastically. "And why are you even doing it this time?"

"Look, it's nothing!" Daniel said, "I'll see you later."

"No you won't, I'm off to Johto now, remember?"

"Don't remind me." Daniel said forlornly. "Come on Absol, we've gotta go!" Absol looked up from playing with Abyss and bounded towards Daniel.

"Yeah, we'd better go now too Abyss!"

"Amelia?" Daniel said tentatively after they'd both taken a few steps away from one another.

"What?" Amelia snapped back.

"I love you."

"I love you too." She replied, her face and tone relaxing. "But do that again and I'll chop your bollocks off!" she finished.

"Is that a promise?" Daniel said cheekily, drawing nearer to her again.

"I'm gonna miss you." Amelia said, the two had once again locked each other in an embrace.

"You too." Daniel said, kissing her a final time. They unlocked from their embrace to go seperate directions.

Daniel was going home. Amelia, onto her big adventure but the excitement that had previously filled her was replaced with concern for her boyfriend.

"Why was Daniel doing it again? Is it because I'm leaving?" she wondered to herself.

And so, on what should be the best day of her life, she was walking towards her dream and a single, worried tear made it's way down her cheek.

*********************
If you liked this, tell me! If you didn't like this, tell me why not! I can only improve with your honest criticism!

 

[Eliana Rampage]

Re: Lessons in Pokémon [PG-15] - Chapter 2 UP!

efefhjsdfhsdkjf

SCOTT I LOVE YOUR WRITING. <3 I reviewed chapter one:

The sun had only just glimmered (tense issue- do you think it would sound better as, ‘the sun was only just glimmering’? )on the horizon but Amelia was already up, fully dressed and full of beans (I’m not sure I understand what you mean by ‘full of beans’). Her Houndour, Abyss, was watching her out of one eye, sleepily. He let out a sigh as she, once again, checked the mobile phone on her bedside cabinet, no calls, no texts.*

“Why can’t people reply these days?” she thought out loud.

Between you and me, I’ll tell you exactly why, it just so happened to be 5.01am.

Why was Amelia so excited? Well, I’ll tell you, today was the day she was starting her pokémon journey! She was wearing a pink waistcoat over a clean, white top with a short, grey skirt to match.

“Oh, Abyss! Are you ready for what’s going to begin later?” She exhaled excitedly as she fell to the floor to lie beside Abyss’ bed. She rolled onto her side so she could look into the black beast’s eyes.

“Ruff”, Abyss replied, he was obviously losing patience with her. It was entertaining at first to see her jumping about the room blabbering on about “Elite Four” this and “Gym Leader” that but he soon grew tired of it.

“Fine, suit yourself!” Amelia replied scornfully as she got up to exit the room.

“I’m going to go make breakfast”, she added, getting the reaction she wanted. Abyss’ ears suddenly pricked up as he turned to look directly at her, making eye contact. (I like this interaction between Abyss and Amelia!)

“Come on then!” her voice had quickly returned to its normal tone. (I’m not sure if the description you added was necessary! )

Houndour bounded across the room as she walked along her upstairs landing. A long, thin corridor with three doors leading off it; one leading to her bedroom, one leading to her mother’s and the final one led into the bathroom, complete with shower, toilet and sink.

The duo entered the kitchen. Amelia opened the door and Abyss bounded straight through her legs and jumped up, trying to reach the topmost cupboard.

“Okay, you eat first then”, Amelia said, trying to put on a pretence that she minded.

After feeding herself and her pokémon, she cleaned up and checked the time on a big clock with the face of a Shinx in the centre with the two hands sprouting from its nose. It was only 5.37, Amelia had hours until she had to leave.

“What shall I do in the meantime?” Amelia pondered to herself.*


“What do you want to do Abyss?” Amelia called into the living room where Abyss had already stationed himself, sprawled out on a small armchair in the corner of the room, his eyes shut and breathing loudly through his nose.

“I asked you a question!” Amelia exclaimed, entering the living room. It was a small room, a 3-seater sofa in the centre of the room facing a television with a small screen, in the corner was a CD player and a small collection of CD’s stacked upon one another. Everything was modest and the room gave the impression that the family had very little wealth.

Houndour exhaled at Amelia and closed his eyes again, trying to get some sleep.*

“Fine!” Amelia was the one losing her patience now as she stormed out. (I’m wondering why the interaction between these two seems so harsh- is this on purpose? I’m trying to understand the relationship between them)

She stormed back up to her bedroom. Closing the door behind her, she only just stopped herself from slamming the it. She quickly surveyed her room, in the far corner was Abyss’ bed beside a large,*looming*wardrobe that contained the clothes Amelia wasn’t taking with her, along one side of the wall was a single bed with a black bedspread sprawled across it. Finally, just behind her was a computer, ever since her interview, Amelia had started to look up this “Amadeus” on the internet and she was certainly impressed!

“It seems Amadeus put no effort into his battle against Bugsy, Azalea Town’s formidable bug boy. With his small but trusty Magby by his side, Amadeus was able to wipe the floor with Bugsy. This was Bugsy’s second defeat this year and with it being mid-Summer, Bugsy is clearly a formidable opponent. More details on next page.”

Amelia gaped at the screen upon reading this a month ago. She always expected since Amadeus wasn’t a gym leader and she’d never heard of him, he wasn’t that good as a trainer but 15 minutes into her research her prejudices were disproven. She felt the need to apologise for her remarks to him at the beginning of the interview, she decided to do it if he called to let her know she had received the place with him and that was a big “if” after what she had said.* (I love the mystery behind him!)

Whenever he finally did call her house number, she was the only one in the house, her mother was out side tending to the garden while Abyss ran around chasing Butterfree, he had only recently learnt to use his fire but found it a bit too hard to control so Amelia was keeping a close eye on him from the kitchen window. She picked up the phone, with one eye still on Abyss.

“Hello, Amelia?” a familiar voice came from the receiver.

“Erm, yes. Who is this?” Amelia replied, she couldn’t place the voice but had a guess.

“Amadeus, from the mentoring…” Amadeus began

“Oh my God!” Amelia cut in, her suspicions were correct.

“Yes, yes. I don’t have much time so I’ll make this brief; I want you to join me.” Amadeus said bracing himself on the other end of the line, waiting for Amelia’s excited response.

“Yes! Oh my God! Yes!” Amelia didn’t disappoint in her reaction. (Again, I don’t feel like you have to elaborate on Amelia’s reaction- she has a strong personality and you’re giving us all the description that we need. )

“There’s one thing though, although we will be travelling through Johto. I want to bring some other people with me."

"Some of your powerful trainer-friends?" Amelia replied, she hadn't grasped what he was talking about.

"No, two other young trainers."

"Oh." Amelia said. "Am I really in a position to say no?" she said only half jokingly. *

“Well, if that’s all settled then I guess that’s that, the company will send you the details of when we’ll meet up. Until then!” Amadeus ended.

“One more thing,” Amelia said, “I’d like to apologise for my remarks concerning wanting a different mentor, after researching you, I realise how wrong I was and how much I would like you to be my mentor.” Amelia told him.

“Thank you, I’ll see you in Johto!” Amadeus said as he hung up the phone.

The phone that was still on her bedside table started to vibrate. Amelia was drawn out of her flashback and walked across the room to get it, the screen was flashing, “Text Message Received” Pressing the largest button below the screen, the text appeared

“Amelia, are you going today?”

It was a text from her best friend, Daniel. He was insanely jealous of her for getting the mentor and having the ability to start on a pokémon journey with him. Daniel was going to start his next month, on his own.*

“Yes! I’m so excited!” she quickly typed into the phone. Although she didn’t want to admit it to herself, she was going to miss him. She was going to miss everybody and everything, her house, her family, Daniel in particular.*

He replied swiftly with, “Okay, good luck, might see you out there?” She smiled, she knew they would meet out there, they both wanted to go to Johto, they both loved dark type pokémon and they both wanted to become a gym leader one day.

“We will, don’t worry! When we do, I’ll battle you but don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you!” she replied smiling, but she wasn’t smiling on the inside.

“Amelia, are you awake?” Amelia’s mother; (try and connect these two phrases?) a tall, slender woman wearing a bathrobe over her small nightclothes, inquired from the doorway, “I should have known you’d be.” She added, with a touch of humour in her voice.

“Yeah, I’m up,” Amelia replied, “I leave in 3 hours, how could I not be?” Amelia replied.

“Okay, have you had breakfast?”

“Yes mother!” Amelia replied, with a facetious weariness.

Amelia listened as her mother went downstairs and started to make herself breakfast.

Abyss appeared at the doorway; he entered and turned to look at Amelia.

“I know, today’s the start of our adventure, Abyss! We’ve gotta look out for each other, k?” Amelia said, collapsing backwards so she was lying on the bed.*

Again, wonderful. Aside from those extraneous commas, this is great! Also, I’m still a little confused about the interactions between Abyss and Amelia- at first Abyss seems a little defiant, and then Amelia seems fine with him…I suggest you try and elaborate on their interaction to provide a more vivid picture of the character development. I’m really enjoying this and I will definitely read chapter two!! great job, Scott! seriously, this is amazing. <333

 

[revolvingscott]

Re: Lessons in Pokémon [PG-15] - Chapter 2 UP!

Thanks Eliana! I'll revise that last chapter either tonight or tomorrow night; don't forget about the next one, that one was a little bit rushed (the New one).

 

[revolvingscott]

Chapter 3 - Learning How to Operate a Pay Phone

Chapter 3 - Learning How to Operate a Pay Phone​

It had been a long time since Artemis had been on a train. What with his parents' breeding centre going so well, he could afford to take a limousine with a chauffeur everywhere. Now though, he wouldn't be able to watch the world from the other side of a tinted glass window; he was going to journey through it taking in all the sights and sounds. That was the reason for interviewing with Amadeus, he wanted an adventure. He wasn't looking to battle gym leaders or win at the Silver Conference, he just wanted to learn everything there was to know about pokémon and how to care and look after them.

"Cherrygrove City, next stop. Next stop, Cherrygrove City," the train's conductor called as he sauntered up the aisle.

Shit! thought Artemis. He'd almost missed his stop, he had to jump off the train as it began to leave the station. It was a miracle that he remembered everything in his rush but somehow, he managed it. At home he was constantly losing things or forgetting to bring things with him.

"'Scuse me," he said to a teenage girl working in a kiosk marked 'Information'.

"Do you know how I can get to the Pokémon Centre?"

"Yeah, just go out the station doors and it'll be the sixth building on the left."

"Thanks!" Artemis replied gratefully.

"Whatever, get out of my line."

Artemis walked out of the station doors and turned left. He didn't need to count the buildings, the Pokémon Centre loomed over the houses surrounding it. The building was a hot shade of pink and had multiple levels, 5 or maybe 6. It was shaped like a smallish skyscraper but there was the unmistakable 'P' sign above the door that stood for Pokémon Center.

As he ventured in, he was immediately overwhelmed with the sweet smell of baking bread and the sound of many people talking. Surveying the room, he decided since his pokémon wasn't injured or tired that he needn't go to the desk behind which a nurse stood smiling. Instead, he made his way into the corner of the room, the place where the pay phones were housed. He wanted to ring home to make his parents aware that he had made if there safely. He sat in front of the phone with no idea how to work it. There was a large screen with a normal looking phone but he couldn't see any buttons. Picking up the phone, the buttons were revealed to be affixed to the telephone itself. He dialed his home number and waited.

"Hello?" came the voice from the other end.

"Mother? I'm at Cherrygrove," Artemis spoke into the reviever.

"Artemis? Hold on, let me turn on the video link," the screen infront of him burst into life as his mother's face took shape on it.

"Hello mother."

"Oh son, it's great to see you alive and well. What's that honey? 'Remember what Professor Oak said?' Oh right! Professor Oak asked me to pass something onto you."

"What?"

"He wants you to call him right away. Do you have his number?"

"No."

"Well it's saved on all the phones anyway. What's that honey?" his mother looked away from her son's blue eyes and turned to see something off screen, "Oh my! One of the Charmanders is hatching! I have to go, mummy loves you!" and with that she hung up.

Artemis then began to make an attempt at calling professor Oak. Suddenly, the phone rang again and he recognised the number that now flashed onscreen as his own.

"Hello?" he said picking up.

"Yes, Artemis. I just wanted to tell you to put a brush through your hair, it's filthy!" his mother told him sternly before hanging up for a second time.

Artemis struggled with the pay phone until the nurse he had seen behind the desk walked over.

"You hold down 7 to bring up the pre-existing contacts," she informed him while peering over his shoulder.

"Thanks but how did you know that's what I wanted?"

"I couldn't help but overhear your conversation with your mother," she replied.

"Okay, well, thanks," Artemis repeated.

"And by the way, your hair looks jive like that." the nurse added before turning away and taking her place back behind the desk.

Artemis quickly managed to ring Professor Oak thank to the nurse's guidance.

"Hello, Professor Oak?"

"Yes yes. Who is this?" came the voice of Samuel Oak, the top pokémon professor of the day and age.

"Hold on while I activate the video," the screen once again lit up but this time with the face of a very old man, about 65 years old.

"Ah! Artemis! So your mother passed on my message?" Oak said upon seeing Artemis' face on his screen.

"Yes, professor. What is it you want?"

"Well, m'boy. You know how the newest batch of trainers were due to leave a week ago?"

"Yes."

"Well, I got a call the day before that one of the trainers couldn't make it and was in fact, moving to the Hoenn region."

"An utter travesty," Artemis added sarcastically.

"Yes indeed," Oak didn't quite understand the concept of sarcasm.

"But the other two went without a hitch. The problem is, I still have a spare pokémon that probably wants to go off on an adventure. Would you be interested in taking it?"

"Oh yes please!"

"Now, it's Bulbasaur, the grass type. You're in Johto, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, he's not going to be very much help to you at first but would you take him anyway?"

"Of course! But why are you giving it to me?"

"Because your parents were the ones who bred her!"

"Oh right. How will I get it?"

"I'll transfer its pokéball to your Pokémon Centre. You're in Goldenrod, right?"

"No professor, Cherrygrove."

"Right, right. Well, I'll send it now. It was nice talking to you again and my have you grown! What's that honey?" Oak said looking away from Artemis' handsome face.

"Professor! Don't call me that while others can hear!" the voice of Tracy Sketchit came through the reciever but he was still off screen.

"Shit! Sorry hon - Tracy!" professor Oak said before he turned his attention back to Artemis looking embarrassed.

"Sorry Artemis. There's an incident involving a Muk and Squirtle! Bye!" Oak hung up quickly.

Artemis got up to go but suddenly, the phone rang again and he noticed the number that now flashed onscreen wasn't a number but the name 'Professor Oak'.

"Hello?" he said picking up.

"Yes, Artemis. I just wanted to tell you to put a brush through your hair, it's filthy!" Oak advised him quickly before hanging up for a second time.

Nutjobs, the lot of them Artemis thought as he got up and walked over to the nurse.

"'Scuse me, has there been a pokéball with a Bulbasaur in it transferred here by Professor Oak?" Artemis inquired.

"Hold on there," said the nurse as she got up and walked into a back room.

"This has better be productive," Artemis said to himself.

The nurse came back holding a pokéball. "I think this is the little pokémon you're looking for," the nurse said happily.

"Okay. Thanks nurse," Artemis replied as he took the pokéball from the nurse.

"Call me Nurse Joy!" Joy replied before running off to check on an injured Buizel.

Since Amadeus had told him that he would meet him here today, he decided he would just have a seat in the waiting area. All the seats were taken except for one seat, as he walked over to it he glanced at the girl sitting beside it. He marvelled at her beauty for a moment but stopped to ogle at her cleavage that was being proudly shown off by the low-cut, pink blouse and silver waistcoat that she was wearing. Her Houndour jumped up as he walked past it. He almost managed to step on its paw.

"Watch it!" Amelia shouted at Artemis.

"Sorry," he replied quietly before taking the seat beside her.

 

[Spiny]

Re: Lessons in Pokémon [PG-15] - Chapter 2 UP!

^Absolutely amazing. I could read this forever!

 

[revolvingscott]

Re: Lessons in Pokémon [PG-15] - Chapter 3 UP!

To the 2 people who actually care, I'm currently writing Chapter 4 (Learning the Price of a Bus Ticket).
In it, you will meet 2 new characters that will make the expeditionary force complete (but not all the main characters will appear for a while).
I'm hoping to get it posted within an hour but there's a good chance I won't. So if I don't just wait a day or two, it'll be good, I hope.

 

[Pseudonymiss]

Re: Lessons in Pokémon [PG-15] - Chapter 3 UP!

I’ve been meaning to read your story for quite a while now, Scott (or should I call you QT now?), although I’m regretting putting that feat off until now. ^^; Honestly, I’m fortunate that I got sick from school today – it actually gave me a chance to read your story, and I’m glad that I did.

As I’m quite lazy at the moment, not to mention my aforesaid being ill, I’ll just spurt whatever comes across my mind.

"Well, ever since I was a little girl, I've always wanted to have a Houndoom. I don't know what it is about them but they just seem to have a quality that I love. My father used to have one, Omega was his name, he was so kind and gentle but after father left mother, I haven't seen him. Hell, for all I know, he could be dead by now."

"I see, good choice and very full answer. That was a great start!" Amadeus remarked. "Anyway, moving on. What's your main aspiration in life?

This is more of a suggestion on my behalf; as a writer who’s more character based and emotionally strung than anything, I just found it sort of strange how Amadeus didn’t show any if not much sympathy towards Amelia when she recounted her past. He’s portrayed as a fairly kind person as thus far, so personally I would have thought that he’d be inclined to at least do something in terms of commiseration. But this is only one of my personal quirks and bias suggestions, though. ^^;

"Well, good, I want to journey there and if I get this oppurtunity, I'll be the happiest girl alive. I have always wanted to be a pokémon trainer and have always wanted my own gym, (I’d suggest to either place a full stop/period, or a semi colon here) my mother's not a battler and I haven't seen my father since I was 6 so he didn't have time to teach me to battle. If I get this I know I could be a good trainer, I just need the proper guidance that this scheme can give me and I will be so much closer to getting my own gym than if I didn't get this oppurtunity." Amelia replied,(again, perhaps a semi colon or full stop?) she was serious again, you could tell that this meant a great deal to her.

There are some spelling mistakes throughout this story, but not painfully horrible ones that I’ve seen stationed on FF.net. <_>” However, you’ve misspelt “opportunity” not once but twice; so try to revise more thoroughly next time as you go. Also, note the bolded text that I’ve added. Alternatively, you could also write:

“...I will be so much closer to getting my own gym than if I didn’t get this opportunity,” Amelia replied, becoming serious again. It was visibly obvious that this meant a great deal to her.

... Or something along the lines of that.

Between you and me, I’ll tell you exactly why, it just so happened to be 5.01am.

Why was Amelia so excited? Well, I’ll tell you, today was the day she was starting her pokémon journey! She was wearing a pink waistcoat over a clean, white top with a short, grey skirt to match.

Eh... grammatically there’s nothing glaringly wrong about this... Personally, I tend to become irked when narrators bust in and say commentary as you have (ie “Well, I’ll tell you...”) when it’s not a crackfic, but I guess I’ll let this slide.

She stormed back up to her bedroom. Closing the door behind her, she only just stopped herself from slamming the it.

I’m guessing that was a harmless mistake?

"That's not the only thing I'm going to miss," Daniel added, his eyes gazing down Amelia body. Passed her low-cut pink blouse and silver waistcoat down to her light grey short skirt.

That would have been a really nice scene, if it weren’t for the silly errs splayed across those sentences. Perhaps the following would have made it sound slightly better?

"That's not the only thing I'm going to miss," Daniel added, his eyes gazing down Amelia’s body, passing down from her low-cut pink blouse and silver waistcoat to her light grey short skirt.

I’m no hopeless romantic, but the ending of Chapter 2 really allowed me to emit an “aww”, to which I garnered an awfully strange look from my older brother. He now thinks I’m slightly more mental than usual. So thank you for that.

"An utter travesty," Artemis added sarcastically.

"Yes indeed," Oak didn't quite understand the concept of sarcasm.

I’m a major fan of sarcasm, so naturally, that made me laugh aloud. I gratify you once more though; now my brother thinks I’m doubly as mental. Cheers.

"Yes, Artemis. I just wanted to tell you to put a brush through your hair, it's filthy!"

I’m going to take an ambiguously wild guess that this will be a running gag. If so, well done. *claps* Believe me, anything is better than “No need to worry” at this point. >_>”

Also, I’m presuming that there’s something going on between Oak and Tracey? @_@ I’ll try to be polite and open-minded though, even if I don’t necessarily support the ship, at least in a beyond platonic way.

All in all, though, I really love your story and overall writing style. Seriously, I initially thought that you were a whole lot older than me when I first read your fic, but now that I've come to know we're the same age, I'd just want to take the chance to say that you should feel so proud of yourself for being able to write like this. You have lovely descriptions and scenes, and I am at awe as to why not many people have bothered to review you yet. D: Nevertheless, despite the minute flaws and foibles here and there, this is a fairly decent fic with a wonderfully unique plot, so I’ll be eagerly waiting for the chapters to come!

 

[revolvingscott]

Re: Lessons in Pokémon [PG-15] - Chapter 3 UP!

Tbh, everything up until Chapter 2 was written like, months ago (and that's why there were so many errors) and I'm still trying to get round to finishing Chapter 4. Although I have even printed it out and changed all the errors but just, not been bothered to change them as no one bothers to read this (or so it would seem).

Oak/Tracy was just a bit of comic relief, my friend and I both find ApprenticeShipping hilarious so I thought I'd throw that in there. I don't expect to see much of Oak, like, ever after this so I thought that it wouldn't particularly matter.

Thanks for the review and now I feel like I should write more of 'Learning the Price of a Bus Ticket'. ^^

EDIT: Also, when the first 2 were written, my characters weren't fully formed and in fact they will be the most important part of the fic.

 

[Pseudonymiss]

Re: Lessons in Pokémon [PG-15] - Chapter 3 UP!

Tbh, everything up until Chapter 2 was written like, months ago (and that's why there were so many errors) and I'm still trying to get round to finishing Chapter 4. Although I have even printed it out and changed all the errors but just, not been bothered to change them as no one bothers to read this (or so it would seem).

EDIT: Also, when the first 2 were written, my characters weren't fully formed and in fact they will be the most important part of the fic.

Ahh, fair enough. It's natural to have those mistakes and crap at the beginning; as long as you show improvement, which you have, then there's nothing to be widely concerned about.

Oak/Tracy was just a bit of comic relief, my friend and I both find ApprenticeShipping hilarious so I thought I'd throw that in there. I don't expect to see much of Oak, like, ever after this so I thought that it wouldn't particularly matter.

Fair enough; it's a fanfic. So you can expect stuff like this. I personally find it more disturbing than funny, but I'll try to see it from your perspective in later chapters. ^^;

Thanks for the review and now I feel like I should write more of 'Learning the Price of a Bus Ticket'. ^^

Aww, any time. It's a shame when well written fics don't get the credit or fanfare that they deserve, so I'll be more than happy to review to your fourth chapter. And I'm glad you feel more inspired to write your next instalment; having a lack of that enthusiasm is a feeling I can well relate to. ^^;

Anyways, keep writing, and I'll be loyally reading.

 

[revolvingscott]

Re: Lessons in Pokémon [PG-15] - Chapter 3 UP!

Fair enough; it's a fanfic. So you can expect stuff like this. I personally find it more disturbing than funny, but I'll try to see it from your perspective in later chapters. ^^;

It won't appear there in later chapters, that was probably the last time you'll see Oak. Ever.

 

[Yimanx]

Re: Lessons in Pokémon [PG-15] - Chapter 3 UP!

dude this is good
i like scene/chapter 2 between amelia and daniel
7/10

 

[pikmin]

Re: Lessons in Pokémon [PG-15] - Chapter 3 UP!

this used to be a pm but was posted here on request.
I though it was really good and had lots of really good vocabualary, and I rate what a read 7/10 stars because I really liked how this person has a favorite pokémon right from the beggining of the story, rather than in other stories where the long beggining of the book is the trainer learning what a pokéball is ect.
I hope you still will consider me for the charmander even though I didn't read the whole thing, I hope you understand.
let me know what you think.

 

[Darth Uruk]

Re: Lessons in Pokémon [PG-15] - Chapter 3 UP!

Ok well this is the review for the shiny Charmander: Things I liked were... the interaction between the characters and their pokemon and the way you introduced the characters. Things that I felt were not so strong was at the points where you describe Amelia's clothes I felt it kinda of interupted the rhythm of the story perhaps more descriptive word choice for colors?Idk...........overal 8/10 very good piece

 

[NickCarney]

Re: Lessons in Pokémon [PG-15] - Chapter 3 UP!

The prologue and first chapter were extremely well written. I have never read a fanfic before but this really kept me interested. You developed the characters extremely well and all the interactions were believable. I love your writing style. The second and third chapters kind of lost me though. They were well written but doesn't seem like anything that you would expect from pokemon. I personally think you shouldn't have anything sexual in a pokemon fan fiction. That's just my opinion though, feel free to ignore me.

Prologue/Chapter 1 = 10/10
Chapter 2/Chapter 3 = 6/10
Overall = 7/10

VM me please when you have a new chapter. I'm still interested even though it's not what I've come to expect from pokemon

 

[Ikuze]

Re: Lessons in Pokémon [PG-15] - Chapter 3 UP!

Well, where do I start... I guess with the positive things, eh? You can write. You have potential. You're fairly good at putting words together and expressing ideas.

And now for some critique: Keep in mind I know what this story is just starting out, but this is how I felt and what I thought while reading it. The first thing that struck me was Mary-Sue bus. Personally, I thought she (Amelia) was about as flat as a piece of cardboard, personality wise. I mean, whats unique or cool about her? What sets her apart from other characters in the Pokemon universe? She just felt like a cookie-cutter persona. I couldn't care less about the Daniel character either. All I could think was "lolol poooor eeeeemo". I felt no connection what so ever to either character.

For me, description was missing. Sure, there were a few lines and maybe a paragraph of it here and there, but for me to actually see the world that you've created for these characters, I needed a bit more. Sure, we're all somewhat familiar with Pokemon and the areas, but more would have been nice. I mean, for all I know, if this fic didn't have the words "Pokemon" or "Cherrygrove", I might as well have thought this was taking place in Candy Land. The lack of description for the boy with "the filthy hair" also kind of rubbed me the wrong way. By the end of the chapter, all we know is that people seem to think his hair looks filthy. Oh, and he has blue eyes. Whoopdeedoo. When you said his name was "Artemis" at the beginning, I thought of the cat from Sailor Moon, and it stayed that way until the end of the chapter.

I'm going to cut this short. I hope you don't think I'm being too harsh, I'm just trying to express to you, as the reader, some of the different things that were going on inside my head as I was reading this.

Anyway, keep it up!

 

[Aquilix]

Re: Lessons in Pokémon [PG-15] - Chapter 3 UP!

OK: I think you have a lot of potential, and the ability to make good characters. I disagree with one previous poster who said your characters were drab. The only one I think is bland is Amadeus, but we haven't seen much of him.

On the other hand, There needs to be more description of the surroundings. I don't mean stuff like 'the pokemon center was a lovely brick building with etc etc' I mean more fleshing out of a world with pokemon. I thought it was great how the story introduces the concept of guided first adventures with pokemon, through mentorship programs. This is definitely a business that would spring up in a real pokemon world. It's this sort of thing I want to see more of. The neat little ways pokemon change society and the world

Grammar wise, there are a lot of mistakes, run-ons, etc. but that's just a technicality

I like the later chapters better than the beginning.

8/10 overall

EDIT: also, in chapter 3, at the beginning, it is mentioned that Artemis doesn't need to talk to Joy because his pokemon isn't hurt or tired, then later he gets a bulbasaur (which I had assumed was his first pokemon). So does he have two and we just don't know what one is or was this a continuity error?

 

[burningdoubt]

Re: Lessons in Pokémon [PG-15] - Chapter 3 UP!

dude i like Artemis but i totally think he should get at Amelia. what other pokemon does Artemis have other than Bulbasaur it doesn't specify. And what kind of pokemon does he specialize in? its good bro bit. i guess i will have to wait till chapter 4