(M) Odd Collections Make for a Good Hobby (Shipping-Crackfic-Diapers) [Chapter 1]

[Yoshi-eats-your-pie]

The sun was setting, casting on orange glow on the Villge Bridge and the houses upon it. So peaceful, pleasant, and totally picturesque, Three P's for taking a photo. I could just sit here for hours...If Sheria hadn't just slapped me on the back of the head. "Yosh! You okay? You look like your brain decided to move out and left you staring." She chuckled and gave me a smirk. That's Sheria for you. Impatient, sarcastic, and kinda bossy. She's always trying to keep my ragtag Pokemon under control. They've learned not to listen.

"Sheria, for god's sake," Hiyagon piped up. "He's just enjoying the view. I mean, just look at that sunset!" Hiyagon always manages to make the best of things. He's the happy-go-lucky sort, never afraid to try to brighten your day. He hasn't wrecked any towns yet like normal Hydreigons do. Carro and Scellie were sitting by the water next to me, sharing a sandwich between themselves. Carro's been my best friend since I was little, raising him up from a little Tirtouga to the obese Carrocosta I have today. I have no idea why he's so fat- oh yeah, that's why. He likes to dive underwater and eat Basculin. Some of those fish get pretty big, too. Scellie's almost the same way, only she scavenges the forest and eats every Pokemon in sight.

Then there's Dillon, my childish and very cute (surprisingly) Krookodile. Dillon's another happy sort, he's always interacting witht he others and making everyone smile. Then there's Crax...The...baby, I guess, of the group. He's a full-grown Haxorus, hell, he's even bigger than me, but he acts like a two year old. He's always playing with toys and sucking on a claw, even though I hear that's dangerous, because he knows Poison Claw...Yikes.

Then there's me, the trainer of all these quirky guys. I'm just a normal human, standing in about 5"6 and wearing a green t-shirt with a 1up on it, wearing my black and orange shorts, sittin and watchin the sunset with my- oh, right I forgot to tell you. My Pokemon are all diapered (or in Dillon's case, some form of one). Sheria, Hiyagon, and of course, Crax wear diapers, for whatever reason they want. I just let my Pokemon do what they want to. Dillon has an attraction to Pull-ups. He finds them cute or something crazy like that. ANYWAY. I've run out of things to do in Unova, and I hope to move onto Kanto or something soon. It's getting boring training everyone.

I stood up and stretched a bit, patting Scellie's head and rubbing Carro's large belly for him. He purred in response, "Oooh!~ Heheh, I love it when you do that." I chuckled and scrratched his head just like when he was little. "I know you do, bud, It's why I do it." I smiled at him and stood up, whistling for everyone to gather around. Sheria and Hiyagon took a seat by Carro and Scellie, and Crax and Dillon came back from doing something childish, no doubt. I took one last look at the sunset, then spoke up. "Guys, I think it's time we headed to Lacunosa. I think we've spent enough time here." Everyone nodded in agreement, except Crax, who was distracted by a plastic bag floating along.

While I was packing to leave, someone else was coming from the other direction, more towards the direction of Giant Chasm. This person was in a rush, and had to run all the way from Castelia City to Lacunosa. This person was Harley. Harley's a red dragon, wearing a green t-shirt identical to the one I have, and black sweatpants. As he raced across the beach near Lacunosa, his mind was aflurry with troubled thoughts. "Shit! What if I don't make it!? My boss'll kill me if I'm late! Why did I have to get my wings fixed yesterday?!" He sprinted up the steps, and tripped on the last one, causing him to fall face first on the ground. "FUCK!" He grabbed his snout to make sure it wasn't broken or bleeding. "God, damn. That hurts." He shook it off and ran through the tall grass, shoving aside a wild Gloom. "DON'T WANT TO BATTLE NOW!!" The Gloom stared in the direction he ran off. "...Gloom?"
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Crap. I really need to watch where I'm running. It was weird, I turned my head to tell Crax to stop eating the flowers by the Pokemon Center and crashed into some red dragon pretty bad. My nose ended up bleeding and the dragon was knocked out cold for a long time. Judging by what Sheria said, I was out for a bit too, but this guy must've hit me with his face or something. I sat by the dragon and waited patiently for him to wake up. It ended up being about45 minutes passing when he finally stirred and sat up. "Oh, crap! What time is it!?" He frantically looked around. I calmly looked at my Xtransceiver. "4:25."

"CRAP! I MISSED IT!- Wait, where did you come from?" He turned to me and asked. "Uh...I'm...I'm the guy who ran into you." He looked around a bit more. "My glasses! W-where did they go!?" I looked down and held up a pair of borken eyeglasses. "These..?" "God dammit...This day just keeps getting better and better!" He grumbled and looked at the damage. "I'm gonna have to get whole new glasses because of this..." I turned a deep red. "I-I'm awfully sorry about running into you...Mr...uh..." He looked at me. "Harley. Harley E. Gudmunson. What about you?" "Oh, uh. I'm Yoshi. Yoshi L. Archison." Harley looked at me and sighed. "I can pay to fix your glasses if you want me to." "Oh? No, it's okay, you don't have to do that." I smiled and stood up, offering to help him up. "Nonsense, I'd be happy to do it for you."

He smiled and let me help him up. "Alright, if you insist." He and I walked into the center, my Pokemon following. "Excuse me, miss?" I leaned on the counter and showed her Harley's broken glasses. "How much would it cost to get these fixed?" She examined the glasses, eyeing the broken glass and bent frame. "Approxmitely 15,000 Poke." I let out a little meep noise. "Wow...That's bad..." I sigh and pulled out some Poke from my wallet. "Alright. I wanna get them fixed." I handed her a pile of Poke adding up to 15,000. She took the glasses and handed them to another nurse, who took them in a door on the other side of the counter.

I decided to sit next to Harley while his glasses were being fixed. "So, are you a Pokemon trainer too?" Harley smiled and took out 5 Pokeballs from his bag. "As a matter of fact, I am. Let me show you them, they'll be happy to meet you." He tossed all 5 into the air and watched as red light made a Tyranitar, and Aggron, a Krookodile, an Umbreon, and an Axew appear from the balls. They all looked around a bit. The axew decided to walk over and start chewing on my leg playfully. "Agh! That tickles!" Harley chuckled. "This here's my team. This is Tyrone and Allie," He pointed to the Tyranitar and Aggron, who were apparently leaning on each other and talking. "They've been dating for several months now." He pointed to the Krookodile, who, now that I notice it, was pretty fat. "This is Carlos. He doesn't speak English yet."

I stopped him for a second. "You have a Krookodile too? Nice! Hey, Dillon! Theres another Krookodile here!" Dillon glanced over at me quickly, then turned his eyes to Carlos. His eyes widened happily. He immediately got up and gave Carlos a hug. Carlos sort of hesitated for a second, but decided it was in his best interest to hug back. Dillon's tail wagged furiously. "Heheh. He's very affectionate when it comes to other Krookodile." "I see that," He chuckled. "Anyway, this is baby Axew gnawing on your foot." "Ax!" "That's adorable." I smiled and pet Axew. "And finally, we have Umbreon. He doesn't talk either." Umbreon threw me a casual glance, then turned to Carro.

"Okay then..." I smiled and pointed to my team in order. "That's Sheria, Hiyagon, Crax, Scelie, Dillon and Carro." Harley stopped to stare at Hiyagon for a bit. "Is Hiyagon wearing...a diaper?" He widened his eyes and looked at me. "Uh, yeah, he is." I chuckled and scratched my head out of habit and embarassment. "Sheria, Crax, and Dillon are too. Well....Dillon's wearing a Pull-up, so I guess that's different." "Ah. Do you know why, at least?" "I dunno. They say they find it comfortable. I don't doubt it, it's just kinda...strange." Harley nodded and agreed wholeheartedly.

"So where were you off to before you bumped into me?" "Me? I was just coming back here to stay in town and relax a bit. Everyone needs it, I think." Harley smiled, but that smile faded. "I was supposed to be at a work interview...I missed it though. I might as well not even show up, they probably won't hire me now." Harley sighed. I smiled and tried my best to comfort him. "Eh, that job probably sucked anyway. You should travel with me. I bet it'll be fun!" Harley stopped to think about it. "Oh, what the hey. Might as well." I smiled and clenched my fists happily. "Sweet! I bet we could head down to Undella and rent a house or something." "Undella? Really? Isn't stuff super expensive there?" I shrugged. "I've got plenty of money. Plus, Carro and I found a lot of Relic items in the Ruins, so I could sell those for money if we need it."

Harley smiled and told Carlos to get two root beers. "You can get whatever you want, but just one thing, kay buddy?" Carlos nodded. He came back later with a tray of two large root beers and a hot dog. Carlos ate the hot dog in one bite. "...Is that natural for him to do that?" "He does stuff like that all the time, don't worry." I rolled my eyes and drank my root beer. Harley tapped his cup on mine. "To adventure." "And friendship!" I chided.
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"DAMMIT!" A man pounded a fist on his desk. "That stupid dragon never showed! I'll never steal that Umbreon of his at this rate! GUARDS!" He called them in. "Yes, sir Logan?" "Korlan." One of the guards, wearing a uniform close to Team Rocket's, stepped forward. "Yes sir?" "I need you to find that red dragon and his Umbreon. When you learn of their location, you will tell me immediately." He sets his feet on his desk. Korlan saluted and headed out to do his job. "Ayaki. You'll help him." Ayaki saluted and followed Korlan. "Aand Bob. I need you to rally up the grunts. We're attacking The Pokemon Center Storage Unit in Icirrus to search for any rare Pokemon." Bob saluted and left the room, leaving Logan alone. "Soon...I'll have one of every Pokemon...Even the legendary dragons." Logan smiled and laughed to himself.

 

[Yoshi-eats-your-pie]

It took a long time to get Harley's glasses fixed. Mainly because all that was left was some mangled steel and a few shards of glIt took about an hour, and we mainly passed the time plotting out what we could do on our little adventures. But when the nurse finally called us over and gave Harley's glasses back, we decided it was time to head out.

"Alright, where are we off to again?" He asked, after he had slipped his glasses on. I have to admit, he didn't look half bad in them. He looked kind of cute, actually. Can't believe I'm saying that, but whatever.

"I think we were going to Undella, right? We were hoping to rent a house and stay the night there, maybe let our Pokemon swim around." I replied, packing my bag with spare diapers, for Crax and maybe Dillon.

"Ah, right. How much does it cost to rent?" He gathered up his Pokemon and put them all back into their Pokeballs, leaving out Allie and Tyrone so they could walk together (which is what I'm assuming.)

"About 5000 Poke a night, surprisingly, it's not a lot." I left out Carro and Dillon so they could get some exercise. Me and Harley exited the Pokemon Center, sitting down on the bench outside and licking ice cream cones we had gotten earlier. Carro and Dillon went off somewhere, as well as Tyrone and Allie.

Me and Harley spent a couple minutes talking and discussing our lives, I told him about how me and my family where walking around Giant Chasm and how Kyurem saved our lives. It's a weird story, and it might make me like a 'chosen one' or something because I got saved by a dragon, then never heard from it again. Stereotypical, no?

Anyways, it went something like this:

Me and my family used to live in Mistralton City, and when I was about 5, we took a trip to Lacunosa Town and Vacationed for a bit. During this time, we decided to go to the Giant Chasm, home to the supposed monster that ate people if they stayed out at night. We were exploring around a little, training my Dad's Pawniard, when a boulder fell off the Chasm wall and almost crushed me and my mom. But a blue streak caught the boulder and threw it elsewhere, then landed next to us. It was Kyurem himself. He spoke with a rather scratchy tone.

"You...I sense something from you." He motioned to me. "I can tell I'll need you later...You seem like you would grow up to be responsible."

My mom and dad were shocked to learn Kyurem could talk. "H-how do you..?"

Kyurem chuckled and sighed. "All legendries know how to speak, my lady. You...take care of your son, will you? He'll be a fine boy one day. I can tell." With a flash, he was gone, leaving me and my family confused and shocked.

Harley snickered and busted out laughing.

“You seriously expect me to believe that?! That is by far the worst story I’ve ever heard.”

I glared. “Laugh all you want pal, it’s 100% true.”

He shook his head and stood up. “You think we should go soon? It’s getting later and later.”

I stood as well. “We should.” I counted around my pokemon.

“Uh…We missin somebody?”

“Yeah. I’m missing somebody too.”

I sat and thought for a second. “Uh oh. Where are Carro and Allie?”

Harley and I realized this and frantically started searching for our lost Aggron and Carrocosta. “Shit! Where’d they go?!” I yelled, checking in bushes.

“No idea!!” Harley yelled back, looking around for footprints. “Wait! I have an idea!” He took out a Pokeball and released his Umbreon. “Umbreons are fantastic trackers. He can probably find them for us.”

“That actually isn’t a half-bad idea.” I smiled as Umbreon started sniffing around for our Pokemon’s scents.

He finally managed to smell out Carro’s feet about 50 feet away from where we were when we started. He continually sniffed the ground, leading us to the Village Bridge.

“Wait…What? Why would Carro go here?” I scratched my head.

Umbreon ran up to a house and scratched at the door repeatedly. “Wait. I’ve never seen this house before…”

Harley tried the knob. “Locked. We’ll have to bust our wa-“ He was interrupted by Tyrone sprinting to the door and bashing it down with a shoulder.
I stared at the debris of the door. “Holy crap.”

Tyrone looked over and spoke sort of angrily. “Damn it, I wanna see my girlfriend!”

“Wait, you can talk!?” I was shocked.

“Of course. Harley’s taught us all to talk except Carlos and Umbreon…And Axew. Never mind.”

I looked around in the house for a light switch and found one eventually. It was pretty empty, save for a few chairs and an area rug. Umbreon sniffed at the rug.

“This house looks empty…Why would Carro and Allie come here?”

“Maybe they were kidnapped or something.” Tyrone suggested.

I shot a look at him. “Thanks. That makes me feel a lot better.”

Umbreon repeatedly nudged at the rug until it folded over, revealing a barely visible door. “Breeee.”

“Wow. That’s actually pretty clever.” Harley quipped. Tyrone busted the door open by jumping on it. Everybody followed him downstairs. Apparently this house belonged to some sort of Pokemon Maniac, because there were Pokeballs EVERYWHERE. They were put up on the walls, apparently in number order. Some spots were empty, especially numbers like #150 and #249, the numbers of legendries such as Mewtwo or Lugia.

Harley picked up a Pokeball numbered 131 and tossed it, revealing a normal Lapras. He called it back and set it back on the wall. “Wow. This person has a pretty cool collection going here.”

I stammered. “H-Holy shit. This guy has Arceus.”

His jaw dropped. “Wait WHAT!?” He took the pokeball and sent out THE Arceus.

“Dude. This is amazing.” I chuckled.

Arceus, however, didn’t think so. He was frantic, and he stared us both straight in the face. “You two! H-have you come to rescue us?!”

“W-wait, RESCUE you?! Why? You hate your trainer?” I stared, confused.

He sighed and sat down. “You don’t understand. This man is a maniac. He’s taken us all with the powers…” His eyes narrowed and he looked at both of us. “…of GODMODDING.”

“For real!? Isn’t that illegal!?” Harley looked around at the other Pokemon.

He nodded. “Extremely. But he hasn’t been caught yet because of his Salamence with super-speed. He’s still out there hunting down legends like me!” Arceus huffed.
“W-wait one second. What legendries has he captured?”

“Let’s see…So far he’s gotten Reshiram and Zekrom, Giratina, and myself.” Arceus thought as Harley browsed the shelves and took three Pokeballs.
He counted them off. “Alright, I got 487, 643 and 644.”

“That sounds about right. Might I warn you about Zek-“

Arceus was cut off by a loud thump from upstairs. “Oh no, he’s back. Quick, hide in the sorting room!” Arceus motioned to a door. Harley put him back in his ball and we darted inside the room.

Whoever this noise belonged to was extremely loud, considering they must've realized we broke the door to their house and stole their Pokemon. We heard them clumping down the stairs, very loudly and angrily.

Harley tugged at my sleeve. "Over here! Behind the bins!" He carefully led me over to two plastic bins full of Pokeballs. He ducked behind one and I ducked behind the other. We carefully listened and held our breaths. We heard shuffling and someone cursing.

"Shit...Arceus is missing. The boss isn't gonna be happy about that." The voice said to himself angrily.

Harley nudged me and whispered quietly. "Mitch. There's an exit over there."

"Good. Sadly, it's all the way over there!" I rasped.

"So? We could easily make that."

"I guess you''re right, but we gotta find Carro and Allie, remember?"

He facepalmed. "Shit. Almost forgot about those two." He huffed and looked at the bins. "I bet they're in here somewhere."

"You're probably right." I picked up one of the balls and felt around it. "Nope..."

"Um...What are you doing?"

"I carved a C into Carro's Pokeball...Wait. I have his ball...Never mind then." I tossed the ball back into the bin just as the figure turned on a light and looked around. He was about his middle 30's with black hair and a skinny figure. He was like a beanstick.

"I should get to sorting these Pokeballs for the boss." The figure sighed and started walking in our direction.

"Shit, don't come closer, shitshitshit" I could hear Harley quietly swear.

Fortunately, he turned and walked towards a different room and went inside. As soon as the door shut, I stood up.

"Harley, our Pokemon are in the front room!"

"Wait, how do you know that?"

"He didn't take any other Pokemon!" I ran towards the door and hauled it open.

Harley followed me out the door and we both faced the walls holding Pokeballs. I stood there, completely lost. "Crap. What number's Aggron..? Or Carrocosta?!" I hastily took out my Pokedex and looked up Carrocosta. Harley did the same for Aggron.

It took a bit, but I finally figured out Carrocosta was #565 and Harley found out #306. We took the Pokeballs from the shelf, noticing their newness. "Oh yeah. These are ours." I pocketed Carro's ball, as did Harley with Allie's. We were just about to dash upstairs when we heard the door open.

"Hey! FREEZE!" The man stared at us. Harley shrugged and ran upstairs anyway, yelling "YOU'LL NEVER GET ME ALIVE, COPPERRRRR!!!" I laughed and followed him. He ran after us. "Why didn't that work?! It always does!" He picked up a walkie. "Grunts! Intruders have stolen Pokemon from us, heading in the direction of Lacunosa Town!"

Me and Harley took off running.

"Where do we go?!"

"Lacunosa! We'll take our Pokemon there and drop them off in the PC!" I almost stumbled over a rock. "Ack!"

"Good idea! Hide in a Pokemon Center, they'll never look there." He rolled his eyes.

"You got a better ide-Shit!" I stopped. There were like 15 people dressed in the same clothes, all with their eyes on us. this was NOT a welcoming party.
One of them spoke up. "Stay right there. We're taking our Pokemon back."

Harley growled angrily. "YOUR Pokemon!? Bullshit, these are ours!" He snarled. "Don't make me kick your asses!"

The grunt seemed unfazed. "Oh, so it's a fight you want, huh?" He chuckled and smirked. "Bring it. You and me."

"Challenge accepted." Harley swooped up and planted a kick on the grunt's chest. I stood watching, amazed. I had no fighting experience whatsoever. This dude on the other hand, was kicking a group of people's asses.

My attention was focused off the fight at the sight of the black haired man chasing us. I sent out Sheria and stared him down.

"Oohoho. A Scrafty. Boss doesn't have one of those. I bet he'd love to have it."

I snarled. "Like I'd let you take Sheria. Come on. let's have a one-on-one battle. Loser leaves the other alone."

He smirked and sent out a Sigilyph. Shit. Sheria's weakness. "Alright. Let's do it."

Sheria looked at me a bit uncertainly. "Good job."

"Shutup, I got a plan."

"Sigilyph, use Aerial Ace!" The sigilyph flew towards Sheria with incredible speed. Sheria took the hit, leaving her a bit dazed, but she pulled through.

"Good job! Sheria, use Faint attack!" She jumped and split in two before disappearing. She reappeared in front of the Sigilyph and struck it with her headcrest. Sigilyph's wing was hit the most and it tumbled from the sky.

"Quick! Dark Pulse!" Sheria focused her energy and aimed it all at the Hieroglyphic Pokemon. Sigilyph was surrounded by dark energy, suffocating it and leaving it fainted. Sigilyph didn't move, only twitched a little ruffle-feet-thing. Sheria raised her arms and imitated a ghost.

"Woooooo. Stupid Flying types." She smirked and headed by my side.

"Wha- How di- NOT FAIR!!!" He shouted at us. "I WILL take your Pokemon!"

I smirked. "Oh yeah? You and what army?" Harey walked up behind me, dusting his hands.

He stared at the pile of unconscious men. "Er...LATER. I'll take them LATER. I'll be back before you know it. I'll see you two thieves later." He bolted in the other direction.

I sighed and recalled Sheria. "That was eventful. How was kicking ass?" I chuckled and looked over at Harley. Not even a scratch.

"Awesome. I haven't done that in weeks." He smiled and stretched.

I smiled and tossed Carro's Pokeball, revealing the same fatty Carrocosta I've had since I was little. "Yay!~ Mitchy saved me from the bad people!" He smiled and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his belly. I've always loved that belly of his...So squishy and soft, warm as well... I smiled and hugged his fat belly in return, squishing his fat in my arms. I smiled and sat there hugging him, giving him a belly rub. He purred, making his belly vibrate just slightly. It tickled.

I guess Allie and Tyrone were also hugging for a long time, considering they loved each other dearly. I was surprised they weren't married or something, they were making out so long.

When our hugfest ended, I smiled at Harley. "What say we introduce our new team members?"

He turned to me looking shocked. "You actually wanna keep the legendary Pokemon we stole from them?!"

"Hey, if we release em, they run a risk of getting caught again." I shrugged and took out Giratina and Zekrom's Pokeballs.

Harley took out Arceus and Reshiram's. "Alright, if you want..." He sent them both out, Arceus shaking off and Reshiram looking around confused. I sent out Zekrom and Giratina.

"W-where are we?" Reshiram looked around.

Arceus smiled and shared the news. "We're not with Logan anymore! We're now in the hands of these two heroes." He motioned to us. Giratina huffed.

"They don't look very hero-like. They look like losers." Arceus smacked Giratina on the back of the head.

"That's not any way to treat your new trainer!" He huffed. "Stubborn child."

Giratina sniffled. "Oooow!!!" He rubbed his head. I held back a chuckle and rubbed his head for him.

"T-thankies..." He nuzzled me gently.

I heard Zekrom and Reshiram talking.

"Rrrgh...Reshi, I gotta go..."

"Zekkie, just hold it. We're almost to the Center, we can get diapers there."

My eyes widened. "Diapers?!" Arceus cleared his throat.

"I was going to tell you Zekkie and Reshi are incontinent and need diapers, but Jacob interrupted us." He looked over at them. "Just hold it, Zekkie, don't urinate everywhere." That didn't help Zekkie at all. he just started giggling at the word "urinate". Reshi sighed and held Zekkie close.

"Cmon hun. Don't laugh..."

"S-sorry hunny..." He hung his head and shook his legs, indicationg he really had to go. I sighed.

"Just go behind a tree or something." Zekkie immediately took the suggestion and darted behind a tree, sighing with relief as he relieved himself.

"Aaah..."

I cringed. "Ew. Not so loud please!" Harley busted out laughing.