- Joined
- Apr 3, 2009
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- She/Her
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- #1
- MATURE Themes
- No MATURE Themes Apply
- TEEN Themes
- Mental Illness or Mentions of Self Harm/Suicide
- EVERYONE Themes
- No EVERYONE Themes Apply
- Other Content Warnings
- Less of a content warning and more of a general warning that due to the nature of one of the characters involved, spoilers for the third semester portion of Persona 5 Royal apply. If you don't want to be spoiled, don't read!
I would love that, Okumura-senpai!
Sumire looked up from her phone to the Okumura manor and couldn’t help but feel intimidated. The scale of the place was unbelievable. She didn’t even want to imagine how much a place like this must have cost, especially here in Shibuya.
She gulped. She’d been excited to spend time with Haru. It was rare for one of the Phantom Thieves besides Ren-senpai to invite her out one-on-one. Truth be told, she felt a little out of place with anyone besides Ren-senpai, especially after everything that had gone down at Dr. Maruki’s palace… she often felt like an intruder, even though Ren-senpai assured her that was not the case.
Her cheeks flushed slightly as she thought of him. His quick smile, his strong hands, his steadfast commitment to making her feel like she belonged… and he saw her and liked her, the real her, Sumire. Even when she’d woken up from the daydream of being Kasumi, when she’d felt so humiliated, when she’d felt such disgust for herself, Ren-senpai had never once judged or chastised her. He’d understood, and he’d helped her recover.
Was it any surprise that she’d fallen for him?
Many of her memories of her time as Kasumi were fuzzy, as if she were watching a recording of someone else. Kasumi must have liked Ren-senpai back then, as she practiced gymnastics and showed him some moves. She could remember some vague feelings, looking on his handsome face. Yet it was Sumire who had fallen head over heels for her senpai, and it was Sumire who was left having to figure out what to do about it.
Should she tell him about her feelings? Could she confess to him like that? The thought made her throat feel tight, and she felt a thousand excuses rising up within her for why she shouldn’t. There was no way he could feel the same, he’d reject her, he’d think she was joking and laugh, she’d only humiliate herself, and what business did someone like her have thinking she deserved to be loved anyway-
“Ahem.”
Sumire looked up, and realized with a start that while she had been lost in thought, a servant had approached and slid open the gate to the mansion for her.
“You are Yoshizawa-san?” the servant asked. He was a man of about fifty, wearing a neatly-pressed suit. His hair was slicked back and his eyes were tired.
“Y-yes,” Sumire said quickly, bowing politely. “Okumura-senpai invited me for tea… so…”
“Yes, the mistress has been expecting you,” the man nodded. “Come inside. Allow me to take your coat.”
Sumire acceded to his request, following the servant inside and sliding her winter coat off of her shoulders and her scarf from around her neck. The servant took both with a curt nod and took both articles of clothing away to parts unknown. Another servant appeared to replace him, a maid this time, a woman in her twenties dressed in the expected finery of her position.
“The mistress awaits you in the tea room,” the maid informed her. “Follow me, madame.”
Sumire obliged, while muttering “tea room…?” under her breath. She had thought her family’s house was a comfortable size, but this place was something else. Just how many bespoke rooms did it have for how many specific occasions?
The tea room, as it happened, was surprisingly small. A white table sat in the center, where Haru had arranged teacups, a kettle, and various cakes and cookies for snacking. She was there now, sitting and waiting patiently for Sumire to arrive, her back facing a window overlooking the manor’s central courtyard. She smiled politely as Sumire entered.
“Hello, Sumire-chan,” she said in her usual courteous manner. “How was your trip over here? Please, have a seat.”
“Thank you, Okumura-senpai,” Sumire replied as she slid into a seat opposite Haru. She adjusted her glasses. For some reason, a sense of nervousness crept up on her as she sat down.
If Haru noticed her nerves, she made no note of it. Instead, she took the tea kettle daintily in her hands and poured a cup each for the both of them. Sumire offered her a quick thanks and took a sip. The tea was wonderful, as good as she’d ever tasted, yet still that pang of nervousness hammered away at her. Why was she so on edge? And why hadn’t Haru said anything? Did she expect Sumire to start the conversation? But she had invited Sumire here, so maybe so should wait for her host to speak? Her mind chased itself in circles, anxiety welling up within her as it always did.
Kasumi would know what to do.
She pursed her lips and tried to banish the thought. With Ren-senpai’s help, she’d managed to lessen the grip such thoughts had on her, and yet they always lurked in the back of her mind, ready to seize any opportunity to tear her down.
She thought instead of the way she felt when she was around Ren-senpai. Strong, confident, able to face her fears and her anxieties - when senpai was around, Sumire felt as though she could take on the entire world. She drew upon that strength now.
“I-it’s nice to be able to spend time with you like this,” Sumire offered, breaking the silence at last. “You and the other Phantom Thieves have all made an effort to make you feel welcome… but… sometimes I still feel out of place. It’s nice to know that you think of me as a friend with whom you can just… do things.”
Haru hummed a little as she took a long sip of her tea. “You’re a kind person, Sumire-chan,” she finally said when she was done. “Your company is certainly welcome. Even so… I must confess to having an ulterior motive in asking you here today. There’s something I must speak to you about, and it wouldn’t do to have such a conversation around the others. It’s… a sensitive matter.”
Sumire leaned forward in her seat. “A sensitive matter?” she repeated. “I’m sorry, Okumura-senpai, but I don’t quite understand. Is something wrong?”
“Perhaps, in a sense,” Haru sighed. “Perhaps I should simply be direct.”
Haru fixed her eyes on Sumire, and for a moment she felt she could see the cold steel that lay beneath her velvet and lace.
“Sumire-chan,” Haru began, her tone deathly serious. “Could you please tell me what your intentions are in regards to Ren-kun?”
Sumire’s heart skipped a beat, and she was grateful for not having taken another sip of her tea. She wasn’t sure she’d have been able to avoid doing a spit-take otherwise.
Her cheeks flushed. “Well, I…” she stammered. “That is… senpai and I… I feel…”
Haru gave another sigh. “It’s alright, Sumire-chan,” she said. “Please, try to put it into words.”
Sumire tried to oblige, but her mind was racing. Why was Haru asking her this in the first place? Did she plan to support Sumire in pursuing her affections? Or worse - did Haru feel the same about Ren-senpai? Had she come all this way for a friend, only to find a rival instead?
“I… I…” Sumire sputtered out, trying to think of what to say, before she hung her head in defeat. “...is it that obvious?”
“Not to him, I should think,” Haru said. “He’s so clever and so intelligent, and yet at times he can be so unobservant. I’ve taken notice, though, of how you look at him, and how you move to be closer to him anytime you can. How your cheeks turn red when he speaks to you - or even when he looks at you. I’m sure Ann-chan and Mako-chan have noticed as well… perhaps Futaba-chan and Yusuke-kun as well.”
Well wasn’t that a nightmare. Everyone in the group knew about her massive crush on their leader except for the man himself. Oh, and Ryuji, but Ryuji being clueless felt par for the course. She hung her head even lower.
“Do you plan to tell him about your feelings?”
Sumire looked up. Haru’s fingers were steepled, and she continued to fix Sumire with a glower - not unkind, but not soft, either.
Sumire studied the other girl’s face, trying to find some hint of her own intentions. What would happen if she told Haru yes? Was she trying to gauge her courage before she made her own move on senpai? She felt that rather than cakes and tea before them, there was a chessboard - and she was obligated to make the first move.
She thought of how senpai had carried her from Dr. Maruki’s palace, and she found the courage rising up within her. She could do this. She could defeat her rival here, and claim her senpai for her own. She knew she could.
She fixed Haru with a glower of her own - again not unkind, but neither submissive. “Yes,” she declared. “It’s taken me time to gather my courage, but senpai deserves to know how I feel - and I deserve to tell him. I-I can tell that you have feelings for him as well, but-”
“This is unfortunate,” Haru sighed, taking another sip of her tea. “I was honestly hoping we wouldn’t have to have this discussion. If you had planned to keep your feelings for him inside your own heart, it would have been one thing, but-”
“L-let me finish, Okumura-senpai,” Sumire stammered, but Haru held up a hand.
“Sumire-chan,” she said, “before you go on, there’s something that you really ought to know. You haven’t been with us for long, so I don’t blame you for not realizing, but please understand - Ren-kun is mine.”
She said the word with such finality that Sumire almost didn’t respond, as if the conversation was just over. Yet she found her voice, and pressed on.
“I-I believe that’s a decision senpai should come to on his own-”
“He already has, Sumire-chan,” Haru told her. “I don’t mean to say that I’ve… ‘called dibs’ on Ren-kun, as Futaba-chan would say. I mean to say that Ren-kun is my boyfriend. We’ve been dating since November. We spent Christmas Eve together.”
Oh.
Sumire’s heart sank like a stone.
Oh.
She had horribly misjudged the situation.
Haru was not her rival in a competition for her senpai’s heart. The competition was already over. Haru had already won.
“I’ll spare you the details,” Haru continued, her voice barely perceptible through the ringing in Sumire’s ears as she tried to process what she’d just been told. “However, suffice it to say that I have suffered and struggled to be able to claim my happiness with the man I love - and I have no intention of relinquishing him without a fight.”
Yet all the fight had gone out of her. She thought of the past few weeks - of gazing into Ren-senpai’s gorgeous grey eyes, watching with longing as he ran his fingers through his messy black hair, yearning for them to run through hers, of how every word of encouragement and moment of support had made her heart swell-
And it was all for nothing.
Sumire - and this was classic Sumire, no doubt about it - had fallen in love with a man she would never be able to have.
You idiot. You naive little fool. Did you really let yourself hope? Did you really work up all that courage? For what? And what now? Are you going to steal another girl’s man, you little homewrecker?
“You… you’re sure he hasn’t noticed…?” Sumire asked. Haru seemed taken aback by her defeated tone, but quickly recovered.
“I… I’m fairly certain,” she nodded. “He… hasn’t mentioned anything to me.”
She’s lying. Of course he’s noticed, you stupid, lovesick little idiot. Just how uncomfortable do you think you’ve made your precious senpai with all your mooning? Pathetic little girl. This would never have happened to Kasumi.
The thought made her stomach do flips. “Kasumi…” she breathed.
The realization hit her like a pile of bricks. Senpai hadn’t met Haru until last fall, she knew that much. She - Kasumi - had been spending time with him for months before that. What if…?
If she hadn’t been wasting so much time play-acting as her sister, might she have had a chance? Might be have been able to whisk senpai away, long before he’d even met Haru? Was this yet another thing her time as Kasumi had stolen from her?
Don’t kid yourself. Stupid girl. He never even would have noticed you.
“Okumura-senpai…” Sumire bowed deeply, hoping she was hiding the tears that were bubbling up in the corner of her eyes. “Please forgive me!”
“Oh!” Haru said with a start, clearly caught off-guard. “I-I must confess, when you got so fired up, I was expecting more of a confrontation…”
Sumire laughed ruefully. “I’m sorry… I had no idea I was being such a homewrecker… I feel so pathetic.”
“Don’t say that, Sumire-chan!” Haru protested, leaning forward and placing a hand over Sumire’s. The steel was gone from her voice as she seemingly no longer perceived Sumire as a threat, and the velvet was back in its place. “You’re a wonderful person. I’ve seen how strong and kind you are with my own eyes. You’re going to make somebody very happy. I just… would prefer it not be my boyfriend.”
Sumire wiped her eyes. “That’s kind of you to say, Okumura-senpai,” she sighed. She found it impossible to look Haru in the eye. “I… I really didn’t know. About you and senpai. To tell the truth… if you hadn’t told me, I would have never guessed that you two were a couple.”
Haru frowned. “Why do you say that?” she asked, although something in her tone made Sumire feel as though she already knew the answer.
“It’s just…” Sumire searched for the right words. “When we’ve been in the palace, or Mementos, you seem to shrink away when he gets close to you, and when I see you looking at him, your expressions seem sad, not happy. Are… are you unhappy being with senpai?”
Haru smiled sadly. “I see… it seems I’m not the only observant one.” She glanced away, rubbing her arm with one hand as the other held her teacup tremblingly. “It’s not that I’m unhappy with Ren-kun… far from it. He makes me happier than anyone I’ve ever met. But lately… since the new year there’s been this unspoken barrier between us, and I don’t know how I can go about breaking it down, or even if I deserve to.”
Haru’s eyes began to mist, and Sumire realized that now it was the older girl’s turn to cry. “And the worst part…” Haru said, her voice shaking, “the worst part is that I know I only have myself to blame for it all.”
Sumire was confused now. “What do you mean, Okumura-senpai?” she asked.
Haru’s lips drew together into a line. “When Dr. Maruki sent us all into our saccharine dream worlds, I didn’t question it for a moment. I didn’t resist… I didn’t fight back… I was so happy to have my father back that I just happily went along with it until Ren-kun snapped me out of it. And all the while he was fighting a lonely battle against Dr. Maruki with just you and Akechi-kun by his side… where I ought to have been.”
She fought the tears as best she could, but Sumire could tell it was a losing battle. She was close to breaking down.
“How can I go back to him after that?” she asked in her quivering voice. “Like nothing happened? Like I did nothing wrong? How could I even look him in the eye?”
Haru couldn’t hold back the tears now, and they started flowing as she buried her face in her hands in a vain attempt to hide her shame.
“I love him more than anything in the world,” she said, half-sobbing. “He’s done so much for everyone… for me. And when he needed me most, I… I…”
She looked back up at Sumire and sniffled. “S-so when I saw how close you were getting to him… I f-felt so threatened. A-after all, why would he stay with someone who let him down so much, when there was someone like you who had stuck by his side? If he had the chance, why wouldn’t he pick you over me?”
And there was the heart of it. Sumire had a chance here, she realized. Haru had let her guard down, left herself vulnerable. She could strike now, say just one cruel, vindictive thing, and Haru would crumble. The way to Ren-senpai’s heart would be cleared for her. She would win.
But this Sumire did not do.
She felt the courage rise up in her again as she looked upon Haru, her face hopeless and her arms wrapped around herself. She drew upon it. Every time Ren-senpai touched her shoulder, every time he told her that she could do this or do that… she felt the bravery he gave her burning in her heart.
She would not have her senpai’s love, she knew. Not if she had to win it by tearing Haru down. She would live with it, and move on… but she was not about to let Haru suffer the same fate.
She stood, and placed both hands on the table with such force that it startled Haru, eliciting a squeak from the older girl.
“Okumura-senpai!” she said with a resolve she scarcely believed she could muster. “I cannot sit idly by and allow you to torment yourself like this!”
“S-Sumire-chan…” Haru said, unsure of how to respond.
Sumire pressed a fist to her heart. “You say you love Ren-senpai! How can you let such beautiful love wither away like this? I won’t allow it!”
“You won’t… allow it?” Haru repeated, blinking.
“The senpai I know taught me to face my fears and anxieties head-on, no matter what!” Sumire declared. “I… I promised senpai… I promised myself… and I promised Kasumi… that I would always do so, for both our sakes! I don’t think you can do any less!”
She strode across the table and knelt down, placing a hand gently on Haru’s shoulder and offering her an encouraging smile. “If you love senpai, then you should hold onto that love with both hands,” she told Haru. “It’s true that I missed my chance with senpai… but you still deserve to find happiness with him!”
“Sumire-chan…” Haru said thoughtfully before allowing herself a laugh. “Look at us,” she chuckled. “We ought to be rivals, yet we can’t stop encouraging one another!”
Sumire laughed along with her.
“You should trust in senpai,” Sumire told Haru, giving her shoulder a squeeze. “If you love him… you owe it to yourself to tell him how you’re feeling, and trust that he’ll still love you afterward.”
Haru nodded. Her eyes were red and puffy, and a thin trail of snot hung from her nose, which she quickly snorted in. “You’re right,” she said, her voice still a little shaky. “It’s just so scary… I don’t want to lose him.”
“I’m sure you won’t!” Sumire said confidently. She lifted Haru from her seat and drew her into a deep hug. “It’s going to be alright, Okumura-senpai,” she murmured into Haru’s ear. “You deserve so much happiness… I hope that you can find it with senpai.”
“You really are such an encouraging rival,” Haru said with a gentle giggle as she pulled away from the hug. “Goodness… I feel like such a fool.”
“You feel like a fool? How do you think I feel?” Sumire said, before shaking her head. “No. I need to stop letting such negative thoughts rule my life.”
She thought for a moment, then stood up straight. “I still plan to tell senpai my feelings,” she said, “for my own sake, if nothing else. Don’t worry,” she added, raising up her hands as she saw Haru about to speak up. “If he actually accepts my confession, I’ll smack him myself for trying to two-time you!”
“Oh, there’s no need for you to do something like that,” Haru said, waving her hand dismissively in front of her face. “If he were to go and do something so foolish, I’d really prefer to handle his punishment myself.” The steel flashed in her voice as she said it, and Sumire shuddered.
“I’ll leave it to you then,” Sumire said with a bow.
Haru sat back down and took a sip of her tea. “Oh…” she said sadly. “We were talking so long that the tea’s gotten cold…”
“That’s alright, senpai!” Sumire said, striding back around and reclaiming her seat. “As far as I can tell, the cakes and biscuits still look scrumptious. Let’s eat until we’ve had our fill!”
“And here I was trying to watch what I eat!” Haru giggled. “You’re going to be such a bad influence on me, Sumire-chan, I can tell.”
Sumire started in on one of the cakes. It was velvety, soft, and practically melted in her mouth. She couldn’t suppress a hum. “Did you make these?” she asked, and Haru nodded excitedly.
“I’ve been trying to get better at baking,” she said. “I plan to start my own cafe someday, and I want to get a good handle on all the ins and outs.”
Sumire’s eyes lit up. “I love to bake!” she exclaimed. “And cook in general, really. Okumura-senpai, we should get together and cook sometime!”
“That sounds so lovely,” Haru smiled. “Sumire-chan… thank you. Now that we’ve cleared the air, it feels as if I’ve truly found a wonderful friend after all.”
Sumire’s smile grew wider. “Yes!” she agreed. “Shall we continue this tea party then? As friends.”
Haru giggled and gave her a nod. “To friendship, then!” she declared, holding up her teacup. Sumire returned the gesture and clinked her cup against Haru’s.
The two friends drank their cold tea and ate their wonderful cakes, and by the time Sumire reclaimed her coat and scarf and left the impossibly large house, she couldn’t stop smiling.
She would never have Ren-senpai’s love, she knew. But she had gained the love of a friend, and in the final analysis, that was a trade she was happy to make.