My letter of intent for college

[Miki-Fan]

Langara College

100 West 49th Avenue
Vancouver, BC V5Y 2Z6
Canada

My name is Alana and I am in Grade 12. My interests are drawing, reading, researching religion, culture, anime shows, music, politics and customs. I am very interested in the Journalism course at Langara because I like to write, whether it be my own thoughts and jotting them into personal essays, rants or getting creative and writing stories of my own. I can also show you examples of story or essay writing from school if you have interest.

I have written stories and essays on things such as anti-Jewish propoganda in the Middle East, my disdain of PeTA, mini rambles about my life, a short story about two runaways which I am revising out of interest and many other things.

In my essay about anti-Jewish propoganda, I told the reader that the children are being brainwashed by the very people who should be protecting them. To learn more than what I knew and too add more insight, I watched video clips from Iran, Lebanon, Saudi Arabia and Egypt, handwrote the transcripts for the videos I watched and for evidence added the videos links. The videos all had the same familiar message of dying and fighting with violence for the "cause" yet they were all presented differently- through storytelling, singing, a poem and the use of a little girl to drive it into the mind.

My disdain for PeTA became a rant after I was angry over how they used the Holocaust by comparing the victims to animals. How could they take something so horrible and trample all over it without any mercy? I wrote the essay like a letter and rather than use a name like Shimon Silberberg, Chaim Braunstein or Chaya Horowitz (if they were the names of an actual victim or survivor), I used the name Guido Orefice (from the movie Life is Beautiful) and in the essay, I criticized PeTA for distorting facts and pointed out that animals don't go through what the internment camp prisoners had to. Prisoners were treated horribly, forced to do work that would kill them, and were killed out of hatred. Most farm animals are treated humanely and aren't killed out of hatred. They aren't forced to do work that will kill them.

I am also interested in taking the course as it will allow me to travel and be in countries that I've always wanted go to. Aside from being able to go to other countries, it will help me learn more about cultures, customs and politics, all of which happen to be vital if I become a journalist and also the vital links to forming one's opinion a country and their backgound. However, I do understand that in journalism that opinion will not always be valued by others and that one's viewpoint on different topics will make them a target for criticism on any side of the spectrum. I understand that I will be in that situation as well and that anything I say might be twisted around to seem otherwise. I also understand that maybe my own opinions may not be of value to my employer who might want me to represent their viewpoints.

How is this letter? I'm hoping I can get feedback and reccomendations so that maybe I can add some stuff and make a few corrections if I have to. I also posted this on the anti-PeTA forum that I belong to

 

[bell02+]

Sheesh! I remember these things! I always hated to have to write about myself, even now!

I'm not sure if it is the same as in America, but here I'd probably want to make myself sound more professional. This sounds very one-on-one, like a conversation, and also it sounds very brief as to explaining why you would want to go there. (as opposed to another liberal arts college)

If you are going for an liberal arts degree I'd probably be more concerned about my writing style. (You know, make the writing style sound interesting either in a precise journalistic way for journalism, or a creative literary way for creative writing)But like I said, it sounds very casual. (but I'm not sure if it is good or bad, like I said. Canada could be different) I'd also probably reword some praises as they sound like run-ons in that word order. (First paragraph brought it most to my attention)

Also, I'm not sure... but I think it would be better to expand that letter to add to your credentials: like extra circular things you may have done, you know, related clubs (to journalism and writing) or significant things you may have done. (besides those two articles; partly because the way you describe them sound like a school activity (or something you are forced into, not necessarily doing something to your passion) and makes you look focused solely on Judaism topics.(Which I'm not sure if it's a good idea to show a narrow field of interest in the major for an undergrad degree) I guess, you could at least try to reword them)

I'm not trying to sound mean, I'm just being really critical to be as helpful as possible. Right now, after reading this, I am getting an "average student" impression which isn't really a good thing, but still... I guess it is a good start, definitely!.. and good luck on getting in! ;-)

 

[ShadyWolf]

Before I applied to UC Berkeley, I decided to attend a a short workshop on that which was expected of my letter of intent. The things that seem to be most important in such a letter are experience in your field of study, why you enjoy the subject that you've chosen to be your major and how your major will benefit you in the future (jobs, personal development, etc). Berkeley especially appreciates people who have overcome strife in their life, and I imagine that including any hindrances in your life that you've overcome will set you apart from other applicants. Best of luck with your application.