EVERYONE: - Ongoing Nathan's Pokemon Journey

[stickynotes5]

(This might be better or worse than the original.)


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Chapter 1


It was 7:00am as a boy was preparing for his journey as a pokemon trainer. Unfortunately, his parents wouldn’t be able to see him off since they were in Johto for a business meeting. They did think of him though and sent some money and potions, hoping they would suffice for their absence.

Nathan ate his breakfast quickly, being careful not to stain his new navy blue t-shirt. He hurriedly fixed his jet black hair, stuffed his supplies in his backpack and headed straight towards the door.

“Coco, could you please stop that?” Nathan pleaded to the Poochyena that was tugging on his faded blue jeans. It looked at him playfully, and ran to his older sister, Leah, who was waiting outside to bring him to Professor Birch’s lab to pick up his starter pokemon.

The only reason Leah was going with him was because Nathan still couldn’t figure out how to navigate through Littleroot Town. Leah laughed at this, but Nathan didn’t care since he would soon be getting a Pokenav that he recently ordered.

On their way to the lab, Leah started up a conversation.

“Excited about getting your first pokemon?” she asked.

Nathan’s face turned slightly red since he’s already 3 years older than the age he could have started as a pokemon trainer. All of his friends left on adventures of their own while his mom made him stay home and study for a few more years before he could leave on his own journey. The only good thing that came from this is that Nathan had more time to decide which pokemon he would start out with.

Nathan began to think about his friends. The last time he heard from them they were traveling together in Kanto. They were all in the top 50 in the Ever Grande Conference, so they were skilled trainers. He really missed being with them but he had to start on his own.

“I guess…” Nathan replied, thinking about what he would do after he got his own pokemon.

When they finally reached the lab, Professor Birch greeted the teenagers warmly and showed Nathan the three pokemon in which he could choose from.

“Well, here they are!” Professor Birch exclaimed as he let Torchic, Treecko, and Mudkip come out of their pokeballs.

After glancing at Nathan, Torchic pecked and scratched at Professor Birch, and pointed at a food container nearby, obviously wanting food. Treecko watched the Torchic effortlessly gobbling down the food quickly, and laughed hysterically. The Mudkip calmly waited for Nathan’s decision, ignoring Torchic as it finished the last of the food in the container.

After Torchic finished eating, which wasn’t too long, Professor Birch spoke to Nathan. “Which one will it be?”

Nathan thought to himself. “Torchic would be a great fighter, but seeing it now, I don’t think I don’t think I could carry around enough food to satisfy its appetite. Treecko’s speed and power could easily make short work of its opponents, but I’m not quite fond of Treecko since they ruined our backyard that one time.”

That left Mudkip. It looked pretty docile to him and it would have an advantage against Roxanne’s pokemon in Rustboro.

“Did you decide yet?” Professor Birch interrupted Nathan’s train of thought.

“I’ll choose Mudkip.” Nathan said confidently.

Professor Birch gave Nathan his Mudkip, pokeballs, and pokedex and wished Nathan good luck.

“Take this,” Leah said, handing over what looked like a strip of cloth with a design on it. “it’s a Focus Band for your Mudkip.”

“Thank you!” Nathan said.

Nathan waved goodbye to his sister and Professor Birch as he headed towards Oldale Town.

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(Hopefully, this is better!)

 

[Luis92]

It Sux Ass

 

[Shervin]

Its not bad. Add more description like about Nathan's clothes, describe the pokemon. I would have liked to see a bit more typical Mum reactions to Nathan leaving. Keep writing and I would like to read and review the next chapter!

 

[stickynotes5]

leah is supposed to be his sister. I should have made that more specific though. I writing the first chapter while I was doing my homework, so it pretty much sucked (but I'm not that great at writing anyways. lol). I'm going to edit the first chapter once I'm done deciding on what to do, so yeah...

Done editing! Please comment and if your going to comment again Luis92, please be more nice. Thank you!

 

[Shervin]

Its much much better, it gives away more about the personality of the pokemon, especially torchic. Its great! Can't wait for the next chapter.

 

[stickynotes5]

(This might be worse than the first chapter. I hope you like it though!)

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Chapter 2


After a day of walking, Nathan finally made it to Oldale Town. There were a few small houses in the township with a rather large pokemon center sitting at the base of a small mountain.

As Nathan walked inside the pokemon center, he saw a large group of trainers in front of a young woman with pink hair wearing a nurse’s outfit. On the wall to the right was a poster saying that there would be a tournament today with a signup sheet next to it.

“That must be why there are so many trainers here…” Nathan thought to himself. As he filled out the application form, the nurse walked up behind him.

“Do you need any help?” She asked, startling Nathan. “I’m Nurse Joy.” She said, shaking hands with him. “Do you need a room?”

“Yes, please.” Nathan replied.

After receiving his room key, Nathan wandered around until he found the cafeteria. It wasn’t really a cafeteria, but it looked more like a diner with lights hanging from the ceiling, what looked like two couches faced back to back with a table separating each pair, and a row of potted plants in the center of the cafeteria.

After finishing his mushroom burger, honey buttered croissants, and spinach dip, Nathan yawned and went to his room to sleep.

The next morning, Nathan got up early to train before the tournament started. He never actually talked to his Mudkip since he got it from Professor Birch. The adolescent stepped outside and released his Mudkip from its pokeball.

Nathan opened up his pokedex and scanned his Mudkip with it, checking what moves it already knew.

“Tackle, Mud Slap, Water Gun, and Bide.” The screen read.

“Okay Mudkip, use your Water Gun on that tree!” Nathan yelled.

As the seemingly never ending stream of water was about to hit the tree, a Shroomish jumped out of a nearby bush and was knocked back by the water attack. Angry at this, the Shroomish let loose a small green burst of energy that hit Mudkip, draining its energy and sending it back to the Shroomish.

“Mudkip, use Bide!” Patrick ordered, hoping that Mudkip could sustain a few more hits before it fainted.

Mudkip took on a whitish glow as the Shroomish tackled Mudkip, hitting it right on the head. The Shroomish then let loose another Absorb attack, severely weakening Mudkip.

After that, Nathan’s Mudkip unleashed its stored up power as a Bide attack, which almost knocked out the wild Shroomish. Nathan reached for one of his pokeballs, pressed the button on it to let it expand to its full size, and threw it at the Shroomish.

After a few seconds of waiting, the Pokeball made a dinging noise, signaling that the Shroomish was caught. Nathan’s Mudkip then fainted from exhaustion, so the trainer gave both of his pokemon to Nurse Joy to be taken care of.

Nathan walked outside to see that the tournament had already started and the referee was explaining the rules.

“The rules are simple! Only the Pokemon that you entered can participate in the battle and each trainer will be given a number from 1 to 8, telling them when they will battle.” The referee continued. “The trainers with the numbers one and two will battle first, then three and four, and so on. The prize for winning is a complete set of evolutionary stones! Let the tournament begin!”

Nathan walked up and picked a number out of the bucket.

“Seven, good! Mudkip is still in the pokemon center so hopefully it’ll be well enough to battle before my match starts.”

While waiting for his pokemon, Nathan watched the first match begin. A boy wearing baggy blue shorts with an orange t-shirt and a girl wearing a matching lime-green shirt and shorts stepped forward. They both released their pokemon, the boy having an Aron and the girl having a Surskit.

The battle ended rather quickly as the Surskit sent a Water Pulse that hit Aron directly, knocking it out. Nathan was starting to get nervous. Could his Mudkip recover in time?

The second match started as Nathan walked back to the Pokemon center.

“Oh, hello there!” Nurse Joy said with a smile. “Your Mudkip and Shroomish are doing okay. It just needs a little more rest.” She said as she handed Nathan his pokemons’ pokeballs and walked away on some errand.

“That’s a relief!” Nathan thought to himself and walked back to the pokemon tournament.

As he got there, he found out that he was late for his own battle and ran towards the battlefield. The boy across the field took a pokeball out of his coat pocket and threw it into the air, releasing a Growlithe. Nathan did the same too and let his Mudkip come out of its pokeball.

“Who wears white suits?” Nathan thought to himself. “At least I have a type advantage since Growlithe is a Fire type and Mudkip’s a Water type.”

“Growlithe, use Ember!” The boy ordered.

“Mudkip, use Water Gun!” Nathan yelled out. The small flames were engulfed by the huge stream of water which eventually hit Growlithe too. The Growlithe fainted as Nathan moved on to the next round.

Nathan watched as the girl who had previously won with her Surskit was losing. The other trainer brushed his dark blue hair out of his eyes as he ordered his Kadabra to use its Psybeam attack. The girl’s Surskit collapsed and the other trainer and his Kadabra had won.

“It’s finally my turn.” Nathan thought to himself as he walked toward the battlefield.

The trainer he was facing against released a Manectric out of its pokeball and was wearing blue and yellow to match the color of his pokemon.

“Use Spark!” The trainer commanded.

“Mudkip, use Mud Slap!” Nathan yelled.

The Manectric charged in the wrong direction as the mud covered up its eyes.

“I might actually win this battle!” Nathan thought to himself, grinning.

“Manectric, use Rain Dance and then Thunder!” The other trainer screeched.

Manectric released a small orb of light that ascended into the clouds. After a few seconds, it started to rain as Manectic used its Thunder attack. The huge ray of lightning hit Mudkip directly. Mudkip fell down and the other trainer was declared the winner.

When the last battle ended, the boy with the Manectric won and received the set of evolutionary stones as a reward. After Nathan spent the night at the Pokemon Center and had his pokemon taken care of by Nurse Joy, he walked off west towards Petalburg City.

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(Fitting a whole tournament into a chapter was kind of hard for me. Please comment and be nice!)

 

[Shervin]

That was good. lots of clear descriptions. The battles were slightly rushed but still good. It would be cool if the manectric trainer became Nathan's rival, but thats just a thought of mine. Well Done! Can't wait for the next chapter!

 

[stickynotes5]

(Thank you! I have a whole week of tests next week, so don't expect another chapter in awhile.)

 

[Shervin]

Thats cool. good luck with the tests!!!

 

[Bluntasaur]

I dunno......

To be brutally honest, it seems kinda boring. You need to spice things up with a more exciting plot.

 

[stickynotes5]

Eh... I do this mostly to improve my writing skills. I write out of the top of my head so I really need to plan it out. Thanks for commenting!

(Oh yeah, can't wait to read the next chapter of your story Bluntasaur!)