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To not do anything nice for anyone or do any favors until at least next Christmas, since not only is doing nice things and favors a one way ticket to the Friend Zone with guys, but in general for both sexes nice things and favors makes them figure they should take advantage of you and be really mean to you.
Oh, and I need a 3.5 GPA this semester to get a Wii this summer.
I, like, totally resolve to, like, totally go with the DTA ethos, man: don't trust anyone. Hobbes was totally right, man...I mean, like, seriously. Dude...people suck. They backstab you when you're at the zenith of your happiness, man. They totally shanghai your feelings, then sell them for their own brutish purposes. Hobbes was, like, so right. Misanthropy man...misanthropy. Every time you try to help someone, man, they're just luring you in for a demolition of your remaining fragments of humanity, dude. Hobbes was right. I hate people, they're all evil.
...Nah, I don't make resolutions.
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