EVERYONE: - Ongoing Ok, A day late, but I'm still looking. My fic... THE [mis]Adventures of Hiro [parody]

[The Decapitated Mole]

Yes, the topic name is a bit odd, but all will be explained here. You see, I wrote this GameBoy Game Parody at the PokeMasters 2 years ago. Yesterday was this fic's birthday, so I posted it at as many new forums as I could find, as well as posting new chapters at TPM. Well, as this fic is old, I'll post chapters 3 at a time [they're short] until I get to writing new ones. Here ya go, the first 3 chapters!

CHAPTER 1
Hiro woke up late one spring morning, only to realize that his mom had gone insane and made him a cinnibar volcano burger with baking 'basco sauce (the hottest stuff on earth) for dinner last night, and his tounge was disintigrating in his mouth! he ran downstairs for some water when his insane mother stopped him and said
Mom:*insane laugh* I "found" a bunch of stuff while I was, uh, shopping in the kwik-e mart. hehehe!
Hiro:Isn't the kwik-e mart closed for 3 days.
Mom: Don't talk back to your elders! The point is, the cops want this, so I want you to have it! kekekekeke!
She hands him a PokéGear
Hiro: Wait a minute, if I have it, the cops'll think I stole it!
Mom: Like I want to get arrested. Now get moving!
Hiro went to the fire station and proceeded to stick a fire hose in his mouth. After that he went to Prof. Tree for help.
P. Tree: Your mom wants you to do something? Here, take a Pokémon. It is dangerous out there. Wait, on second thought *he reaches to take the Pokéball, remembering the time Hiro put shaving cream in his ben gay.*
Hiro: Hey this is mine!
He went home, grabbed his talking pikachu pokédex, and ran out of town.
And so the adventure begins...
CHAPTER 2
As Hiro set off down route 29, he saw a guy with green hair and a nose plug. The guy said
Guy: Hi! I'll show you how to catch Pokémon for 100 yen.
Hiro: But-
Guy: That's good! Now, I'll just have a look in your wallet and see if you've got the money!
They Guy reaches into Hiro's pocket and takes out his wallet.
Guy: *mumbling* Let's see, 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, 100, 10, 20, 30, 40, 50. There! Perfect!
Hiro: Hey! I thought you said-
Guy: OK, The way you catch a Pokémon is to throw a Pokéball and hope it hits the Pokémon. OK bye!
Hiro: But I haven't got any Pokéballs yet!
Guy: OK, Well, go buy some in Cherrygrove and I'll show you again!
Hiro:-_-' ...
Hiro continues down the road when he sees a funky-lookin' flower. He asks a guy
Hiro: What's that flower thingamabobber?
Other Guy: You can find stuff in the flowers!
Hiro: But what is-
Other Guy: You can find stuff in the flowers!
Hiro: I DIDN'T ASK WHAT IS IN THEM, I ASKED WHAT THEY A-
Other Guy: You can find stuff in the flowers!
Hiro looks at a sign and sees
Sign: This guy is a robotic tourguide!
Hiro: Oh brother...
CHAPTER 3
Hiro walked exhaustedly through the tall grass. The Pokémon that Prof. Tree had given Him was a Lv. 2 Pichu, and it had fainted in the first battle. He had fought in 32 Pokémon battles and had lost them all. He had pretended to faint so he could get away. He was all beat up! He finally got to Cherrygrove when a old guy stopped him.
Old Guy: Hi. I live here. For 200 yen I'll show ou around.
Hiro: Hmmmm...
Old guy: Good! Now hand me your wallet and We'll be on our way.
He stands in the middle of the small town.
Old guy: That is a Pokécenter, that is a pokémart, that's the ocean, That's route 30, and Those are some houses. 'kay, bye.
Hiro: Hey! Wait a sec.
Hiro takes a pokémap card from the old guy's pocket.
Old guy: Hey! What was that for?
Hiro: You stole my wallet!
Then Hiro runs to the Pokémart to buy some Pokéballs.
Store guy: We are out of pokéballs.
Hiro: DAMN!!
Store guy: That'll be 12 yen.
The store guy reaches into Hiro's pocket and pulls out 5 yen, a rare candy, 5 strands of hair and 3 balls of lint.
Store guy: Is this all you have?
Hiro: Yes!
Store guy: 'kay, bye!
Hiro goes to the Pokécenter to heal his weak Pichu.
Nurse Jenny: Hi! I'll heal your Pokés. for 3 yen I'll also raise it to level 10.
Hiro: Oh boy!
He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a mini-safe. He takes out 3 yen.
Hiro: Here ya go!
Nurse Jenny: Ok, gimme your Pokés.
Hiro: I've only got 1...
Hands over his Pichu.
Nurse Jenny: Haha! You must suck as a Pokémon trainer!
Hiro: I know....


--Questions? Comments?Please post with your responses!--

 

[The Decapitated Mole]

Haha, I have you all beaten! I don't give up easily, TPMers from fanfic should know that, and I'll continue to post even if you don't reply! Muahahahaha!!

[mods, if u don't like the swears, just edit 'em. (I've had this fic deleted because of that, several times)]

CHAPTER 4
Hiro set off happily down Route 30 with his LV. 10 Pichu. He won a bunch of battles, but couldn't get through to violet city because of 2 5-yeaer olds having a fight. They were fat, too, so he couldn't move them. He went to Mr Pokémo's house to see if Prof. oak was visiting again. He was.
Mr. P: Hi Hiro. Can I see your Pokémon.
Hiro: NO! Youll try to tkae it and them youll give it to PROF. TREE!!!!!!!!
Prof. Oak: I'll give you a Pokédex four your Pichu.
Hiro: Hold on, I dropped the Poéball outside.
Hiro goes and grabs a round white rock and sticks half of it in reddish brown myud.
Hiro: Here ya go!*He hands over the rock*
Prof oad: Herre ya go! *he hands ovetr a pokédez*
Hiro: *running* SUCKERS!!!!!
Prof oak: Hey!
Mr. P: Good thing you put in that bomb that will go off when he catches 251.
P oak: He'll never catch 251, because only one person has ever even seen 251. ASH!!!!
Mr. P.: DAMN!
Hiro runs and runs and runs and bounces over the fat kids. Then he remembers something and goes back over. Then he takes Mr. p's egg and leaves afain. He runs till he gets to violet city. Then right before he goes to the POKéMON CEBTER, the egg hackes, and out popps atogempi. He heals his pichu and then trhey go face Hobbes Hobbeson, the gym leader. They win, because tegopi uses metronome and blasts the guym apart and gfalkern dies and Hiro takes the badge.
Then he goes to the unown ruing and solves the puzzle and catches the unown and then in a fight with raikou (how did he got out of his tatue nayway?) He blows the ruins apart with his togepi names tog.
Then he goes through a cave and has his tog do metronome until surf comes up and then they surf and caught a lapras. Then he get to the next city and met kurt, who helps him beat the rockets because he is so fat and blubbers on them, crushing their bones.
Kurt: Haaa! I knew this extra blubbber would come in hansdy!!!!!
Rocket boss: aaaaa! nop!
KRUNCH!
CHAPTER 5
After beating the rockets, Kurt had hurt his back, so Hiro had to roll him to his house, through azalea town which was full of slowpokes sniffing where their tails used to be and yawning, so it was raining.
Kurt: My house is right there!
Hiro OK!
Kurt: Here take this special Pokéball I made.
Hiro: Ok!
As hiro was walking through the town, his shoes getting stuck in the mud/dung because it was all wet from the rain, a guy his age with long red hair stopped him and said
rival: did you beat the rockets?
Hiro:Yes.
Rival: You're a moron! Team Rocket Is cool!
Hiro: Team Rocket Sucks!!!!!!
Rival: Let's battle!
Hiro: YOU'RE ON!!!!!!
And Hiro was in for one of the toughest battles of his life.
CHAPTER 6
Hiro got into the battle with his new rival named Fred by using his Pichu, which took out the Meganeum and gastly right away.
Hiro: You SUCK!!!!!!!!!!
Fred: Not as much as you!!!!!!
Hiro: Kiss my @$$!!!!!
Fred: OK!
Fred kissed Hiro's @$$.
Fred's zubat took out the weakened Pichu, so Hiro sent out Tog.
Hiro: TOG, METRONOME!!!!!!!!
Fred: Zubat, supersonic!
The zubat's supersonic missed entirely and hit Hiro, but Tog's metronome hit the zubat, only it was splash.
Fred: Ha! If I can kill this dopey kid, no one will be able to beat Team Rocket!!!!!
Hiro: YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE SON OF A BITCH MOTHER FUCKING SHIT-FOR-BRAINS CRAP-HEADED ASS WITH GAY CRAP HAIR!
Fred: Don't you go makin fun of my hair, now!
Hiro: Your hair looks like a pile of fucking shit!
Fred: That's It, ZUBAT, HIT THAT BASTARD WITH YOUR STRONGEST WING ATTACK!!!!!!!!!
Hiro: Tog, use metronome!
Tog hit zubat full force with a strong headbutt at the same time that it hit with it's wing attack.
TOG: [think]Man, this sucks. Why am I listening to this guy anyway. Oh yeah. he's my mommy[/think] TOG!
Zubat: [think]God that redheaded kid is a retard. Doesn't he know that I can't win?[/think]BAT!
Fred: Zubat, hit that Togepi with your strongest wing attack!
Hiro: Tog, TACKLE!!!!!!!
Both Pokémon hit at the same time, causing an explosion which slammed Hiro into a building and pushed Fred through a fence.
Hiro: *cough* Tog?
Tog: T-t-togi...
Hiro: Tog!
He picks up tog and goes to a Pokémon center.
Nurse Jenny: Hold up you little twit. I'm talking to the Police officer.
Hiro: Hi, officer Joy!
Officer Joy: Shut up you smart-mouthed shit head!
Hiro: I wonder what's wrong with those two...

 

[Kurai]

Yeah, I don't mean to be rude... but I'm sure a lot more people would read and reply if you used canon tools of composition such as proper formatting, spelling, varied sentence structure.... You know, stuff like that. :/

Most of the punchlines aren't all that funny, either. Originality is your friend, my friend!

 

[The Decapitated Mole]

Well, like I said, I wrote this 2 years ago, so anything up to chapter 34-40 [depending when I get everything posted up here, I'm still writing new chapters at TPM] is pretty much spoken for. I may change the format in the future, but for now this is it. Tell you what; a while ago, I re-wrote the first few chapters of this in better format. I don't find it as funny, because the spelling errors, horrible grammar, etc. add to the story, but oh well, I'll post some of it for you here. Take it. Be happy. *fake smile*


Chapter One


Hiro woke up late one spring morning, only to realize that his mother had gone insane and made him a Cinnibar Volcano Burger with Baking 'Basco Sauce (the hottest stuff on earth) for dinner last night, and his tounge was disintegrating in his mouth! He ran frantically down the stairs for even a drop of water when his insane mother stopped him and said "Heheheheheha! I "found" a bunch of stuff while I was, uh, shopping in the Quik-E-Mart! Kekekekeke!"
Hiro said "Isn't the Quik-E-Mart closed for repairs for the next week?"
"Don't talk back to your elders!"snapped his mother, "the point is, the cops want this, so I want you to have it! kelglegfle!"
"Hey, wait a minute! If I have it, the cops'll think I stole it!" Hiro suddenly realized.
"Like I want to get arrested. Now get moving!"
Hiro sprinted to the fire station and proceeded to stick a fire hose in his mouth. He then ran all the way across town to Prof. Tree's lab.
"Your mom wants you to do something?" Inquired the kindly 7-year-old professor, "Here, take a pokémon. It is dangerous out there!" Suddenly, he remembers the time that Hiro put shaving cream in his BenGay. "Wait, on second thought..." He reaches to grab the Pokéball.
"Hey, this is mine, babybob!" Yelled Hiro. He ran back home, then ran out because his mom threw an old boot at him. Then he climbed in his window and got his Talking Pikachu Pokédex (courtesy of StereoShack) and ran out of town.

And so the adventure begins...


CHAPTER TWO


As Hiro set off down route 29, he saw a weird looking guy with crazy, spiked green hair and a blue nose plug. The guy said "Hi! I'll show you how to catch Pokémon for 100 yen!"
"But-" Hiro started to say.
"That's great, just great! Now I'll just have a look at your wallet to see if you've got the money!" He said, reaching into Hiro's pocket and counting the money, mumbling to himself. "10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, 100, 10, 20, 30, 40, hehe, 50! There, Perfect!"
"But I thought you said-" Hiro stammered.
"Okay, the way you catch Pokémon as to throw a Pokéball and hope it hit's the Pokémon! 'Kay, bye!" The strange guy said cheerfully.
"But I don't have any Pokéballs yet!" Hiro finally managed to get in.
"Okay, well go buy some in cherrygrove and I'll show you again for half price!"Said the scam artist, for by now even Hiro could figure out that that's what the guy was.
Hiro contunued down the road a ways until he came to a small ridge. He climbed it and saw a funky-lookin' flower.
He said, to no one in particular "What's that flower thingamabobber?"
Suddenly, a guy on the other side of the flower said "You can find stuff in the flowers!"
"But what are-" Hiro began.
"You can find stuff in the flowers!" Exclaimed the odd-looking man again.
"I DIDN'T ASK WHAT IS IN THEM, I ASKED WHAT THEY AAAAAAARRRRRRREEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!" Screamed an enraged Hiro.
"You can find stuff in the flowers!" The guy stated as calmly as ever.
Suddenly, Hiro saw a sign that said this guy is a robotic tourguide!
"Oh brother..." He sighed.

 

[A Concerned Solomon]

Well, it could use some work. Take a look at mine for an example of utter nonsense that people like to read.

http://64.191.32.50/~bulbagar/bmgf/showthread.php?s=&threadid=457