Ok so out of complete boredom I decided to write a story based on a pie. Yes, a pie. Hopefully you all enjoy it and I will update as often as I can. 
Chapter "One": The Oven Is Lit
The Kingdom of Pastry had been in conflict with the Kingdom of Meat for decades now... Neither side was willing to give in to the other nor was either side willing to compromise. Fact of the matter was the conflict began with a most simplistic and very stupid argument that nobody even remembers anymore.
This argument led to what has now become a pointless conflict where innocent Twinkies and sausages alike are being randomly attacked every day by their respective adversaries.
Most recent case, a Muffin was randomly strangled by a Beef Jerky and this quickly caused uprisings and angry mobs all over The Kingdom of Pastry.
King Cake was not by the least happy with the Meat people's 'savage' ways and so he decided to go to 'extreme' measures...
He would offer the most notorious assassin in all of the Kingdom of Pastry a pardon. Yes, the infamous Pumpkin Pie would be offered freedom in exchange of his services.
But could he really trust someone who killed for a living and for mere pleasure? Or would the common enemy force an unlikely alliance between the two very distinct mentalities...
Either way King Cake had nowhere else to turn and nothing to lose. Instead in a hypocritical way he didn't mind Pumpkin Pie dieing in action. After all he was a convicted murderer.
But for the sake of his people... pastry people, King Cake was ready to at least pretend to have hopes for Pumpkin Pie. Success or not, It would buy him time to prepare an army.
And so with his mind set on his fail proof plan King Cake left the castle grounds towards the dungeon where the sadistic Pumpkin Pie had been kept prisoner for what seemed as an eternity.
As King Cake approached the dungeon a tingling sensation ran through his soft and deliciously baked body. Something about the place took his conscience through a type of guilt trip.
He had a pastry imprisoned for years and now he was on the verge of sending him on a suicide mission. No matter how skilled, King Cake knew it was impossible for one single pastry to go against a whole kingdom, let alone a savage kingdom.
Thoughts of remorse rushed across King Cake’s head… well top most layer… as he opened the door to Pumpkin Pie’s cell.
There in the corner of an undersized, dark and old beat up room with only a pile of straw for a “bed” was a pastry with his hands curled around his knees. He reeked of bloodshed… delicious filling-shed, a stench which made all ten of King Cake’s layers tremble as he was face to face with a potential killer, alone and vulnerable.
Pumpkin Pie seemed as if all life…pumpkin filling had been sucked out of his inner self. A lone vessel with a hollow shell, is what best described Pumpkin Pies current state of being and animosity.
“Rise killer!” commanded the deep voice of a man… pastry which only appeared to mean serious business but in reality was intimidated by the assassin despite his poor condition.
“Fuck off… You poor excuse for a pastry…” answered a man…pastry who was determined to defy all authority to his very last breath… crumb.
“Do not use such language in my presence and even less to address me!” There was now a sense of frustration on King Cake’s voice.
“You damn idiot how dare you show up here after condemning me to a lifetime sentence?! Do you not know I want to fucking kill you for that? I almost feel insulted that you even show up alone with no guards…cupcakes protecting you!” Pumpkin Pie had a giant ego and the fact that King Cake was there alone pissed him off.
“As ironic as it may sound and as regretful as I might become; I’m here to offer you a chance at renovation and freedom” As King Cake finish speaking his words he passed a tremendous amount of saliva down his throat as a sign of cowardice and almost regretting what he had just offered.
“Renovation; I could care less…It’s the ‘freedom’ part that I’m most interested in.” Answered Pumpkin Pie with almost a grin on his face, which would have been his closets thing to a smile in years.
“Plain and simple I lay it out, you go and ensure the total annihilation of the Kingdom of Meat and shall you return you will be set free. But shall you kill again; you will be hunted down and imprisoned once more” King Cakes gut indicated Pumpkin Pie would not change his ways if he were to return successful of his mission and Pumpkin Pie’s words only reassured him.
“I accept this little ‘pact’ of yours but let one thing be clear you fat bastard… When I do return victorious the first pastry I’m killing is you” And with this King Cake had signed a deal with the ‘devil cake’ himself…
Chapter "One": The Oven Is Lit
The Kingdom of Pastry had been in conflict with the Kingdom of Meat for decades now... Neither side was willing to give in to the other nor was either side willing to compromise. Fact of the matter was the conflict began with a most simplistic and very stupid argument that nobody even remembers anymore.
This argument led to what has now become a pointless conflict where innocent Twinkies and sausages alike are being randomly attacked every day by their respective adversaries.
Most recent case, a Muffin was randomly strangled by a Beef Jerky and this quickly caused uprisings and angry mobs all over The Kingdom of Pastry.
King Cake was not by the least happy with the Meat people's 'savage' ways and so he decided to go to 'extreme' measures...
He would offer the most notorious assassin in all of the Kingdom of Pastry a pardon. Yes, the infamous Pumpkin Pie would be offered freedom in exchange of his services.
But could he really trust someone who killed for a living and for mere pleasure? Or would the common enemy force an unlikely alliance between the two very distinct mentalities...
Either way King Cake had nowhere else to turn and nothing to lose. Instead in a hypocritical way he didn't mind Pumpkin Pie dieing in action. After all he was a convicted murderer.
But for the sake of his people... pastry people, King Cake was ready to at least pretend to have hopes for Pumpkin Pie. Success or not, It would buy him time to prepare an army.
And so with his mind set on his fail proof plan King Cake left the castle grounds towards the dungeon where the sadistic Pumpkin Pie had been kept prisoner for what seemed as an eternity.
As King Cake approached the dungeon a tingling sensation ran through his soft and deliciously baked body. Something about the place took his conscience through a type of guilt trip.
He had a pastry imprisoned for years and now he was on the verge of sending him on a suicide mission. No matter how skilled, King Cake knew it was impossible for one single pastry to go against a whole kingdom, let alone a savage kingdom.
Thoughts of remorse rushed across King Cake’s head… well top most layer… as he opened the door to Pumpkin Pie’s cell.
There in the corner of an undersized, dark and old beat up room with only a pile of straw for a “bed” was a pastry with his hands curled around his knees. He reeked of bloodshed… delicious filling-shed, a stench which made all ten of King Cake’s layers tremble as he was face to face with a potential killer, alone and vulnerable.
Pumpkin Pie seemed as if all life…pumpkin filling had been sucked out of his inner self. A lone vessel with a hollow shell, is what best described Pumpkin Pies current state of being and animosity.
“Rise killer!” commanded the deep voice of a man… pastry which only appeared to mean serious business but in reality was intimidated by the assassin despite his poor condition.
“Fuck off… You poor excuse for a pastry…” answered a man…pastry who was determined to defy all authority to his very last breath… crumb.
“Do not use such language in my presence and even less to address me!” There was now a sense of frustration on King Cake’s voice.
“You damn idiot how dare you show up here after condemning me to a lifetime sentence?! Do you not know I want to fucking kill you for that? I almost feel insulted that you even show up alone with no guards…cupcakes protecting you!” Pumpkin Pie had a giant ego and the fact that King Cake was there alone pissed him off.
“As ironic as it may sound and as regretful as I might become; I’m here to offer you a chance at renovation and freedom” As King Cake finish speaking his words he passed a tremendous amount of saliva down his throat as a sign of cowardice and almost regretting what he had just offered.
“Renovation; I could care less…It’s the ‘freedom’ part that I’m most interested in.” Answered Pumpkin Pie with almost a grin on his face, which would have been his closets thing to a smile in years.
“Plain and simple I lay it out, you go and ensure the total annihilation of the Kingdom of Meat and shall you return you will be set free. But shall you kill again; you will be hunted down and imprisoned once more” King Cakes gut indicated Pumpkin Pie would not change his ways if he were to return successful of his mission and Pumpkin Pie’s words only reassured him.
“I accept this little ‘pact’ of yours but let one thing be clear you fat bastard… When I do return victorious the first pastry I’m killing is you” And with this King Cake had signed a deal with the ‘devil cake’ himself…
