Sarcastically Insane
Lighting Things on Fire
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I had to write a story for English class, and I decided on a sword-and-sorcery style one, which I had already started. I want some tips to see if anyone thinks it's very good. I'll start with the characters.
Rayne is a young man, about twenty, who wields a cutlass, his family’s traditional weapon, and lighter knight’s armor, mainly on his torso. He has slick black hair tied into a ponytail with two bangs hanging in front of his face. He is calm, collected, and thinks things through before acting, but rarely sees the whole plan, and is a master tactician and battle analyst.
Princess Rose is the nineteen-year-old daughter of King Nicolai. She is the youngest of three sisters and isn’t very confident. She met Rayne in basic school when they were children, and they have been friends ever since. She is beautiful, but dresses in simple white dresses that she sews herself, as she is very good with a needle. She was taught by Rayne how to defend herself, and uses Healing Magic.
Luc is Rayne’s childhood friend and a hunter, around 19, who employing short swords and heavy bows in battle, while wearing light but protective clothing, mainly two green layers of boiled, sewn-together leather tank-tops, pale orange, baggy pants with metal plates under them, a bracer on his left arm that goes from his wrist to his elbow and has a circular plate that covers his elbow with his family crest, a hawk, on it, and a metal pauldron on his right arm. He is often hyperactive, but claims he needs to be to a) save Rayne’s skin and b) assess whether or not to shoot, then shoots if needed. He balances Rayne out and sees the big picture more often than Rayne.
Next, the places:
Kainovia is the country Rayne, Luc, and Rose are from. It is one of the two great powers in the world. Other than its large military, the only defining aspect of it is the Templars, a group of highly trained knights akin to Spartans.
Aladi is the other great power in the world. It has a small military compared to other nations, but it holds the secrets of Mime, or Mimic, magic, the ability to both create a copy of another non-mime being once and use any abilities they observe, effectively tripling their military strength.
Drouh, usually referred to as the Badlands, is an almost nonexistant country between Kainovia and Aladi. While rather large in mass, it has no resources, government, or military. It is basically a large desert with refugees and nomads wandering it.
and a few other notes:
The Guilds are groups of people who train in a certain area, like fighting or magic. Including the Court, a collection of judges, royalty, and their protectors, there are seven Guilds. They are:
1. Fighters’ Guild
2. Mages’ Guild
3. Archers’ Guild
4. Hunters’ Guild
5. Thieves’ Guild
6. Science Guild
7. Court
The Thieves’ Guild has rules and regulations like all the Guilds, but is the only Guild without an “official” Guild Hall and Court representative(why advertise that you’re breaking the law?). Instead, they usually hang out in pubs and simple caverns. The Fighters’, Mages’, and Archers’ Guild, along with the Court, are considered part of the army and government and sponsored as such, but only the Court is actually part of the government or army. The Hunters' Guild is composed of peasants and travellers needing a job, as well as hunters.
The Class System goes
1.The Upper Class includes the Court and other rich/important people, mainly old and important families. They wear “popular” clothes and have family crests.
2.The Middle Class includes the working people. The “Upper-Middle Class” includes warriors who are members of important families. They wear functional clothes. Most families in the Middle Class have family crests.
3.The Lower Class includes beggars and servants. They take the family crest of whomever they serve, but make it less prominent in their clothing. There is also an unofficial Guild called the “Beggars Guild” that, in truth, is a part of the Thieves’ Guild, and are the eyes and ears of it.
4.The knights, archers, soldiers, and other armed forces are included in the “Warrior Class” that is outside the Class System.
and finally, the first chapter.
The Sparring Session
Rayne watched the sparring session, examining which of his students would make good knights and which ones needed to study under him longer. Leo and Ven were neck-and-neck, Leo’s heavy two-handed sword being blocked by Ven’s long thin sword. Rayne knew both were going to become knights, as they were at the top of the class. Kien, however, was having a hard time getting close to Kobold, who was only a mid-level fighter, and missing every opening.
After all the sessions were done, Rayne reviewed the standings of his class. They were:
1.Ven and Leo
2.Roy
3.Jonas
4.Alexander
5.Kobold
6.Hyke
7.Lucius
8.Nokard
9.Kien
Rayne knew that Alexander and up were definitely going to become knights. Kobold had a chance and Lucius and Hyke might become knights with a few improvements. However, Kien was clumsy with his sword and Nokard had broken his legs recently and they were just beginning to heal. However, Nokard was also training in a few magic courses and would make a good Spellblade. Kien would have to quit the sword courses altogether, though, because he failed all of the fighting courses, but excelled at studying, meaning he could become a member of the Court.
Rayne wrote this down and noted all of his recommendations’ favorite weapons. They were all typical knight swords, except for Alexander, who preferred ramming his opponent with two large shields. Rayne noted this along with a suggestion for him to become a Court Jack, protectors of the King, Queen, and the Court.
“All right, dismissed”, said Rayne. He submitted his notes to the Fighters’ Guild representative and left.
“It’s amazing how someone so young could be an instructor”, Rayne’s friend Luc said as he popped out of nowhere, startling Rayne.
“Yeah, but it’s because I have been a knight since I was sixteen, even though I’ve never fought other than sparring,” Rayne replied.
And it was true. Rayne was twenty, but he had graduated from Squirehood at sixteen, the year he joined, because he had been trained by his father how to wield a cutlass, his family’s traditional weapon, when he was young. He also followed all of the regulations of the Fighters’ Guild first year, only returning to his original hairstyle of slicked-back black hair tied in a ponytail with two bangs in his face after two years of growing his hair back. Otherwise, he still wore the Guild clothes of his family’s color; grey, with a boiled leather vest edged with iron on his torso.
Luc, on the other hand, wore his normal hunting clothes: a tank-top of two layers of boiled green leather stitched together, baggy, pale orange pants covered with a net of green, a bracer on his left forearm ending with a circular plate covering his elbow with his family crest, a hawk, on it, and a pauldron on his right shoulder. The only thing that gave him away from being lower- or lower-middle class is his family crest, given to the upper-middle and higher-class families. His hair, as always, was a mess of brown and blonde from pranks on his parents and lost bets.
“You’re the youngest instructor ever, and one of the seven people who have ever graduated on their first year! And you say it like it isn’t a big deal!” Luc said.
“I’ve been trained since I could hold a sword, Luc. Besides, with most swords, I’m useless. It’s the cutlass I’m a master of.” Rayne replied.
Jonas overheard this, and, being overconfident, yelled to Rayne, “I bet you couldn’t beat me and Alexander in a sword fight!”
Rayne realized the trap. Alexander wasn't a normal knight, he was a master of defense, and Luc was the only person to touch him in a battle without setting his armor on fire. Quickly figuring odds in his head, he yelled back, “I could beat you, Alexander, Roy, Ven, and Leo if Luc helped me!”
Jonas thought that he had an easy win, and accepted. He said he would gather the others and meet Rayne and Luc at the sparring grounds in the morning.
Afterwards, Luc joked at Rayne. “I have a date tomorrow. Why do I have to go?”
Rayne elbowed him. “You’re a crack shot, the only person to ever land a blow on Alexander without lighting his armor on fire. I’m still slightly baffled to how you ran forward, flinched, then rolled forward, underneath Alexander, turned around, then ran backward, flinched, ran backward, then zigzagged left-right-left-right, ducked and shot. It was genius!”
“Yeah, but that was one-on-one with Alexander, who is a defense genius, but slightly below average in tactical and offensive knowledge,” Luc complained. “His weakest point is speed, and I focus on speed as a means of getting clear shots and confusing my opponents. But Jonas is nearly as fast as me, Ven has the uncanny ability to know where to attack to manipulate me into a trap, and Roy always seems to know what his allies are thinking.”
“That’s where teamwork and psychology come in,” Rayne explained. “Jonas will attack me, because I challenged him. Ven and Leo will try to gang up on me, trying to prove they’re the best, leaving Alexander to you. Roy will analyze the situation and think that we trapped Alexander for easy pickings, leaving the team vulnerable without a defender, and help him.”
“Now, Leo specializes in long, heavy claymores, meaning he will be slower than the others. Ven, on the other hand, uses shorter, light swords. While they seem balanced, Ven’s flurries of attacks often leave him open, and Leo will have to recover his balance after heavy swings. This lets me block Ven and incapacitate him, leaving Leo open again after more swings. Jonas uses a combination of speed and guarding styles to make up for each other’s weakness, but it has weaknesses too: when he is changing stances, he can’t retaliate or guard for a split second, leaving a big hole in my opponents.”
“Alexander will bash at you with his shields, but you can use your short sword to jam his left arm, which is his stronger one, by shoving the tip into the sliding plates on his shoulder. His armor, made completely of articulated plates, will jam his entire left arm and much of his torso because the precision needed to stay mobile in the armor will be stopped from functioning. Roy changes from an all-out attack style to a very defensive fighting style flawlessly. However, in his aggressive style, he leaves himself open for a short time after his upper slash, which he uses in his most common attack combination. If you hit him then, he’ll be down and out. It’s all about fighting from a tactical standpoint.”
“So… I stab Alex in the shoulder and shoot Roy after he uppercuts at me?” Luc asked blankly.
Rayne sighed. “Yes, Luc. That’s exactly what you do. Then you shoot at my opponents to confuse them to our-never mind, my- strategy. And remember, use sack-tipped arrows. Arrowheads made of metal, wood, and everything else except burlap aren’t allowed in sparring sessions.”
“Okay,” Luc said. “I think I understand. But I do have one question: what are you going to fight with?”
“I don’t know, Luc. I bet it has something to do with cutlasses, my family weapon” Rayne replied sarcastically.
Rayne is a young man, about twenty, who wields a cutlass, his family’s traditional weapon, and lighter knight’s armor, mainly on his torso. He has slick black hair tied into a ponytail with two bangs hanging in front of his face. He is calm, collected, and thinks things through before acting, but rarely sees the whole plan, and is a master tactician and battle analyst.
Princess Rose is the nineteen-year-old daughter of King Nicolai. She is the youngest of three sisters and isn’t very confident. She met Rayne in basic school when they were children, and they have been friends ever since. She is beautiful, but dresses in simple white dresses that she sews herself, as she is very good with a needle. She was taught by Rayne how to defend herself, and uses Healing Magic.
Luc is Rayne’s childhood friend and a hunter, around 19, who employing short swords and heavy bows in battle, while wearing light but protective clothing, mainly two green layers of boiled, sewn-together leather tank-tops, pale orange, baggy pants with metal plates under them, a bracer on his left arm that goes from his wrist to his elbow and has a circular plate that covers his elbow with his family crest, a hawk, on it, and a metal pauldron on his right arm. He is often hyperactive, but claims he needs to be to a) save Rayne’s skin and b) assess whether or not to shoot, then shoots if needed. He balances Rayne out and sees the big picture more often than Rayne.
Next, the places:
Kainovia is the country Rayne, Luc, and Rose are from. It is one of the two great powers in the world. Other than its large military, the only defining aspect of it is the Templars, a group of highly trained knights akin to Spartans.
Aladi is the other great power in the world. It has a small military compared to other nations, but it holds the secrets of Mime, or Mimic, magic, the ability to both create a copy of another non-mime being once and use any abilities they observe, effectively tripling their military strength.
Drouh, usually referred to as the Badlands, is an almost nonexistant country between Kainovia and Aladi. While rather large in mass, it has no resources, government, or military. It is basically a large desert with refugees and nomads wandering it.
and a few other notes:
The Guilds are groups of people who train in a certain area, like fighting or magic. Including the Court, a collection of judges, royalty, and their protectors, there are seven Guilds. They are:
1. Fighters’ Guild
2. Mages’ Guild
3. Archers’ Guild
4. Hunters’ Guild
5. Thieves’ Guild
6. Science Guild
7. Court
The Thieves’ Guild has rules and regulations like all the Guilds, but is the only Guild without an “official” Guild Hall and Court representative(why advertise that you’re breaking the law?). Instead, they usually hang out in pubs and simple caverns. The Fighters’, Mages’, and Archers’ Guild, along with the Court, are considered part of the army and government and sponsored as such, but only the Court is actually part of the government or army. The Hunters' Guild is composed of peasants and travellers needing a job, as well as hunters.
The Class System goes
1.The Upper Class includes the Court and other rich/important people, mainly old and important families. They wear “popular” clothes and have family crests.
2.The Middle Class includes the working people. The “Upper-Middle Class” includes warriors who are members of important families. They wear functional clothes. Most families in the Middle Class have family crests.
3.The Lower Class includes beggars and servants. They take the family crest of whomever they serve, but make it less prominent in their clothing. There is also an unofficial Guild called the “Beggars Guild” that, in truth, is a part of the Thieves’ Guild, and are the eyes and ears of it.
4.The knights, archers, soldiers, and other armed forces are included in the “Warrior Class” that is outside the Class System.
and finally, the first chapter.
The Sparring Session
Rayne watched the sparring session, examining which of his students would make good knights and which ones needed to study under him longer. Leo and Ven were neck-and-neck, Leo’s heavy two-handed sword being blocked by Ven’s long thin sword. Rayne knew both were going to become knights, as they were at the top of the class. Kien, however, was having a hard time getting close to Kobold, who was only a mid-level fighter, and missing every opening.
After all the sessions were done, Rayne reviewed the standings of his class. They were:
1.Ven and Leo
2.Roy
3.Jonas
4.Alexander
5.Kobold
6.Hyke
7.Lucius
8.Nokard
9.Kien
Rayne knew that Alexander and up were definitely going to become knights. Kobold had a chance and Lucius and Hyke might become knights with a few improvements. However, Kien was clumsy with his sword and Nokard had broken his legs recently and they were just beginning to heal. However, Nokard was also training in a few magic courses and would make a good Spellblade. Kien would have to quit the sword courses altogether, though, because he failed all of the fighting courses, but excelled at studying, meaning he could become a member of the Court.
Rayne wrote this down and noted all of his recommendations’ favorite weapons. They were all typical knight swords, except for Alexander, who preferred ramming his opponent with two large shields. Rayne noted this along with a suggestion for him to become a Court Jack, protectors of the King, Queen, and the Court.
“All right, dismissed”, said Rayne. He submitted his notes to the Fighters’ Guild representative and left.
“It’s amazing how someone so young could be an instructor”, Rayne’s friend Luc said as he popped out of nowhere, startling Rayne.
“Yeah, but it’s because I have been a knight since I was sixteen, even though I’ve never fought other than sparring,” Rayne replied.
And it was true. Rayne was twenty, but he had graduated from Squirehood at sixteen, the year he joined, because he had been trained by his father how to wield a cutlass, his family’s traditional weapon, when he was young. He also followed all of the regulations of the Fighters’ Guild first year, only returning to his original hairstyle of slicked-back black hair tied in a ponytail with two bangs in his face after two years of growing his hair back. Otherwise, he still wore the Guild clothes of his family’s color; grey, with a boiled leather vest edged with iron on his torso.
Luc, on the other hand, wore his normal hunting clothes: a tank-top of two layers of boiled green leather stitched together, baggy, pale orange pants covered with a net of green, a bracer on his left forearm ending with a circular plate covering his elbow with his family crest, a hawk, on it, and a pauldron on his right shoulder. The only thing that gave him away from being lower- or lower-middle class is his family crest, given to the upper-middle and higher-class families. His hair, as always, was a mess of brown and blonde from pranks on his parents and lost bets.
“You’re the youngest instructor ever, and one of the seven people who have ever graduated on their first year! And you say it like it isn’t a big deal!” Luc said.
“I’ve been trained since I could hold a sword, Luc. Besides, with most swords, I’m useless. It’s the cutlass I’m a master of.” Rayne replied.
Jonas overheard this, and, being overconfident, yelled to Rayne, “I bet you couldn’t beat me and Alexander in a sword fight!”
Rayne realized the trap. Alexander wasn't a normal knight, he was a master of defense, and Luc was the only person to touch him in a battle without setting his armor on fire. Quickly figuring odds in his head, he yelled back, “I could beat you, Alexander, Roy, Ven, and Leo if Luc helped me!”
Jonas thought that he had an easy win, and accepted. He said he would gather the others and meet Rayne and Luc at the sparring grounds in the morning.
Afterwards, Luc joked at Rayne. “I have a date tomorrow. Why do I have to go?”
Rayne elbowed him. “You’re a crack shot, the only person to ever land a blow on Alexander without lighting his armor on fire. I’m still slightly baffled to how you ran forward, flinched, then rolled forward, underneath Alexander, turned around, then ran backward, flinched, ran backward, then zigzagged left-right-left-right, ducked and shot. It was genius!”
“Yeah, but that was one-on-one with Alexander, who is a defense genius, but slightly below average in tactical and offensive knowledge,” Luc complained. “His weakest point is speed, and I focus on speed as a means of getting clear shots and confusing my opponents. But Jonas is nearly as fast as me, Ven has the uncanny ability to know where to attack to manipulate me into a trap, and Roy always seems to know what his allies are thinking.”
“That’s where teamwork and psychology come in,” Rayne explained. “Jonas will attack me, because I challenged him. Ven and Leo will try to gang up on me, trying to prove they’re the best, leaving Alexander to you. Roy will analyze the situation and think that we trapped Alexander for easy pickings, leaving the team vulnerable without a defender, and help him.”
“Now, Leo specializes in long, heavy claymores, meaning he will be slower than the others. Ven, on the other hand, uses shorter, light swords. While they seem balanced, Ven’s flurries of attacks often leave him open, and Leo will have to recover his balance after heavy swings. This lets me block Ven and incapacitate him, leaving Leo open again after more swings. Jonas uses a combination of speed and guarding styles to make up for each other’s weakness, but it has weaknesses too: when he is changing stances, he can’t retaliate or guard for a split second, leaving a big hole in my opponents.”
“Alexander will bash at you with his shields, but you can use your short sword to jam his left arm, which is his stronger one, by shoving the tip into the sliding plates on his shoulder. His armor, made completely of articulated plates, will jam his entire left arm and much of his torso because the precision needed to stay mobile in the armor will be stopped from functioning. Roy changes from an all-out attack style to a very defensive fighting style flawlessly. However, in his aggressive style, he leaves himself open for a short time after his upper slash, which he uses in his most common attack combination. If you hit him then, he’ll be down and out. It’s all about fighting from a tactical standpoint.”
“So… I stab Alex in the shoulder and shoot Roy after he uppercuts at me?” Luc asked blankly.
Rayne sighed. “Yes, Luc. That’s exactly what you do. Then you shoot at my opponents to confuse them to our-never mind, my- strategy. And remember, use sack-tipped arrows. Arrowheads made of metal, wood, and everything else except burlap aren’t allowed in sparring sessions.”
“Okay,” Luc said. “I think I understand. But I do have one question: what are you going to fight with?”
“I don’t know, Luc. I bet it has something to do with cutlasses, my family weapon” Rayne replied sarcastically.