Peanut Butter Cat
In a world where cats land on their feet and toast lands peanut butter side down, what happens when a cat gets a piece of toast on it’s back?
One day in Boston, Peanut Butter, a peanut butter-ish colored cat, had a piece of toast put on his back by his owner, for some reason. Weird, Then Peanut Butter went outside to explore. He jumped from the top of the steps (No animals were harmed in the making of this story) and noticed how smooth and even the ground was, almost as if it wasn’t there. He looked down, and the ground was farther away. He was floating. He started hissing and meowing, but then he vaguely heard a voice, no, a thought.
‘Relax, you are only stuck in quantum indecision.’
Peanut Butter was lost at ‘in’.
‘Right. It means you can’t decide how to fall, toast down, or feet down.’
Of course…So Peanut Butter set out on a quest to find this voice. He searched and searched, but couldn’t find it. That was when he realized he had no idea what the voice was coming from. Great, wasted two hours.
‘Look in the alley by your house.’
He looked in the alley, but it was dark, and he fell on the wet ground. Then he saw the voice’s body. It was a rock. How anticlimactic was that?
‘Not as much as you think (Who was he talking to?), because I am a rock with telekinetic abilities. I can talk in your head.’
You must journey around the world to find the one who will take the toast off your back.’
But Peanut Butter wondered what the rock’s name was. It was Rock. Ugh.
‘We must go to Paris and find a helper. Since you can float, we can just move across the ocean.’
So they stocked upon supplies (Well, no, Peanut Butter could have ocean fish and rocks don’t eat), and started traveling over the ocean. Rock somehow made a cloth sail to help move, and Peanut Butter tried to go as fast as possible. Floating over ocean forever is boring; there were some hungry dolphins to liven things up, though. The dolphins were jumping up trying to catch them, so Peanut Butter had to maneuver away from them. Sometimes, he had to kick one to avoid it. They soon left, and fast.
‘Finally.’
All of a sudden, they heard a low rumbling sound, and a giant whale rose above the waves, water flying in every direction, its sheer size was enough to make small waves, dousing the cat. It was the literal green whale. It bellowed a guttural roar, and flashed its teeth. Unfortunately, it had flat teeth, so it wasn’t as threatening.
‘Oh, yay. Can the dolphins come back?’
The whale dove underwater faster than a submarine, and surfaced like a rocket. It nearly swallowed the cat. It dove again, and Peanut Butter went under it. It surfaced, and Peanut Butter was on it, floating. The whale couldn’t see or feel the cat, so it looked around and saw nothing, so it left.
They kept traveling without any interesting events, and soon landed in Paris. They went for the Eiffel Tower and Peanut Butter started floating up, but fell down. It seemed he couldn’t climb anything with the toast.
‘You cannot climb. You are stuck in quantum indecision because you don’t know how to land. That does not mean you can fly.’
So, they took the elevator to the top. On the top was a small café. There was a rolling sound, and a soft thump against Peanut Butter’s leg. He looked down and it was an eye.
‘Eww.’
“Eww, yourself.”
The eye could talk?
“I’m I.C.U.”
‘Ha. Ha. Ha. Ugh.’
All of a sudden, a chef came in and started running towards them.
“Need my help?”
‘How could you he-“
Bzzzzzzz. A low buzz. A flash of light. They broke into squares and reformed, except something was wrong. The area was glowing a dull orange, and the sky was consistently dark.
‘What is this place?’
“Jar-th, a parallel of Earth.”
Suddenly Peanut Butter picked up a smell, and took off, running towards a river. He was like a charging rhino once he picked up a scent. He managed to find… a jar of peanut butter.
‘My name is PB, B.”
‘Echo. Neat.’
‘Where is Pickles, ‘cles?’
‘Who?’
‘Look east, east.’
So, they traveled east for days. They soon stumbled upon a spring, but he was not there, so they traveled downstream. They found Pickles (a jar of pickles) in between a couple rocks. They pried him out and he asked to find the Opener. He also had a slight stutter. They traveled for days around Jar-th, and found no sign of the Opener. Except for one jar, who said they were looking in all the wrong places. They realized they needed to go back to Earth, so I.C.U. took them back, and they reappeared in the desert. They started to head home across the ocean, but were unaware that waiting for them was the green whale. It surfaced and swallowed them. They fell into its stomach, but Peanut Butter could float, so they didn’t burn in the acid.
‘How are we getting out of this?’
‘Maybe we can climb out, out.’
Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
‘What was that?’
All of a sudden, a fish skeleton erupted from the acid.
“Helllllllo, bait!”
It dove at them, and Peanut Butter jumped out of the way. Peanut Butter remembered how the green whale did this.
The whale dove underwater faster than a submarine, and surfaced like a rocket. It nearly swallowed the cat. It dove again, and Peanut Butter went under it. It surfaced, and Peanut Butter was on it, floating. The whale couldn’t see or feel the cat, so it looked around and saw nothing, so it left.
They couldn’t trick this one, but it was a skeleton. Pretty fragile. It dove at them again, spraying acid everywhere, nearly enveloping Peanut Butter. If it hit them, it was over.
Peanut Butter went close to the ‘wall’ of the stomach, and it lunged at them again. They jumped out of the way, and it smashed into the side, breaking.
They climbed out through the throat, causing the whale to choke, and open its mouth. They finished trekking across the ocean without the whale bothering them again. When they returned to Boston, they went to Peanut Butter’s owner’s house. When inside, the owner took the toast off Peanut Butter’s back, and opened Pickles and PB, dipping a pickle into the peanut butter. Everyone stayed except for I.C.U., because a floating eye has no use. Even Rock stayed as a pet rock. Peanut Butter lived a normal life from then on, never going near toast.
In a world where cats land on their feet and toast lands peanut butter side down, what happens when a cat gets a piece of toast on it’s back?
One day in Boston, Peanut Butter, a peanut butter-ish colored cat, had a piece of toast put on his back by his owner, for some reason. Weird, Then Peanut Butter went outside to explore. He jumped from the top of the steps (No animals were harmed in the making of this story) and noticed how smooth and even the ground was, almost as if it wasn’t there. He looked down, and the ground was farther away. He was floating. He started hissing and meowing, but then he vaguely heard a voice, no, a thought.
‘Relax, you are only stuck in quantum indecision.’
Peanut Butter was lost at ‘in’.
‘Right. It means you can’t decide how to fall, toast down, or feet down.’
Of course…So Peanut Butter set out on a quest to find this voice. He searched and searched, but couldn’t find it. That was when he realized he had no idea what the voice was coming from. Great, wasted two hours.
‘Look in the alley by your house.’
He looked in the alley, but it was dark, and he fell on the wet ground. Then he saw the voice’s body. It was a rock. How anticlimactic was that?
‘Not as much as you think (Who was he talking to?), because I am a rock with telekinetic abilities. I can talk in your head.’
You must journey around the world to find the one who will take the toast off your back.’
But Peanut Butter wondered what the rock’s name was. It was Rock. Ugh.
‘We must go to Paris and find a helper. Since you can float, we can just move across the ocean.’
So they stocked upon supplies (Well, no, Peanut Butter could have ocean fish and rocks don’t eat), and started traveling over the ocean. Rock somehow made a cloth sail to help move, and Peanut Butter tried to go as fast as possible. Floating over ocean forever is boring; there were some hungry dolphins to liven things up, though. The dolphins were jumping up trying to catch them, so Peanut Butter had to maneuver away from them. Sometimes, he had to kick one to avoid it. They soon left, and fast.
‘Finally.’
All of a sudden, they heard a low rumbling sound, and a giant whale rose above the waves, water flying in every direction, its sheer size was enough to make small waves, dousing the cat. It was the literal green whale. It bellowed a guttural roar, and flashed its teeth. Unfortunately, it had flat teeth, so it wasn’t as threatening.
‘Oh, yay. Can the dolphins come back?’
The whale dove underwater faster than a submarine, and surfaced like a rocket. It nearly swallowed the cat. It dove again, and Peanut Butter went under it. It surfaced, and Peanut Butter was on it, floating. The whale couldn’t see or feel the cat, so it looked around and saw nothing, so it left.
They kept traveling without any interesting events, and soon landed in Paris. They went for the Eiffel Tower and Peanut Butter started floating up, but fell down. It seemed he couldn’t climb anything with the toast.
‘You cannot climb. You are stuck in quantum indecision because you don’t know how to land. That does not mean you can fly.’
So, they took the elevator to the top. On the top was a small café. There was a rolling sound, and a soft thump against Peanut Butter’s leg. He looked down and it was an eye.
‘Eww.’
“Eww, yourself.”
The eye could talk?
“I’m I.C.U.”
‘Ha. Ha. Ha. Ugh.’
All of a sudden, a chef came in and started running towards them.
“Need my help?”
‘How could you he-“
Bzzzzzzz. A low buzz. A flash of light. They broke into squares and reformed, except something was wrong. The area was glowing a dull orange, and the sky was consistently dark.
‘What is this place?’
“Jar-th, a parallel of Earth.”
Suddenly Peanut Butter picked up a smell, and took off, running towards a river. He was like a charging rhino once he picked up a scent. He managed to find… a jar of peanut butter.
‘My name is PB, B.”
‘Echo. Neat.’
‘Where is Pickles, ‘cles?’
‘Who?’
‘Look east, east.’
So, they traveled east for days. They soon stumbled upon a spring, but he was not there, so they traveled downstream. They found Pickles (a jar of pickles) in between a couple rocks. They pried him out and he asked to find the Opener. He also had a slight stutter. They traveled for days around Jar-th, and found no sign of the Opener. Except for one jar, who said they were looking in all the wrong places. They realized they needed to go back to Earth, so I.C.U. took them back, and they reappeared in the desert. They started to head home across the ocean, but were unaware that waiting for them was the green whale. It surfaced and swallowed them. They fell into its stomach, but Peanut Butter could float, so they didn’t burn in the acid.
‘How are we getting out of this?’
‘Maybe we can climb out, out.’
Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
‘What was that?’
All of a sudden, a fish skeleton erupted from the acid.
“Helllllllo, bait!”
It dove at them, and Peanut Butter jumped out of the way. Peanut Butter remembered how the green whale did this.
The whale dove underwater faster than a submarine, and surfaced like a rocket. It nearly swallowed the cat. It dove again, and Peanut Butter went under it. It surfaced, and Peanut Butter was on it, floating. The whale couldn’t see or feel the cat, so it looked around and saw nothing, so it left.
They couldn’t trick this one, but it was a skeleton. Pretty fragile. It dove at them again, spraying acid everywhere, nearly enveloping Peanut Butter. If it hit them, it was over.
Peanut Butter went close to the ‘wall’ of the stomach, and it lunged at them again. They jumped out of the way, and it smashed into the side, breaking.
They climbed out through the throat, causing the whale to choke, and open its mouth. They finished trekking across the ocean without the whale bothering them again. When they returned to Boston, they went to Peanut Butter’s owner’s house. When inside, the owner took the toast off Peanut Butter’s back, and opened Pickles and PB, dipping a pickle into the peanut butter. Everyone stayed except for I.C.U., because a floating eye has no use. Even Rock stayed as a pet rock. Peanut Butter lived a normal life from then on, never going near toast.
