- Joined
- Jan 1, 2003
- Messages
- 16,598
- Reaction score
- 417
first, I apologise for the weird format this fic is in. No descriptions, no character designations, just dialogue. It's about Jiri and another Collector, my own character Veronica (and if you're familiar with a certain RP on these boards, yes, THAT Veronica). Oh yeah, and this also ties in with my backstory for Jiri as seen in my fic "Obsession"...
So anyway, yeah. Uh...yes, I'm also aware that it cuts off mid-thought. I was disrupted when writing it and couldn't make anything else work.
***
-So what will you do now?
-I...don't know...
-Do you know your options?
-Not particularly. I suppose all that's left is to die.
-Jiri, you can't mean that.
-Don't fret, I shan't do it myself. But I shan't do anything to prevent it, either.
-...why do you say such things?
-Because they are the only things in my mind.
-Why?
-I lost everything, Veronica. The material things I can build again, but my reputation is forever ruined.
-You were like this before that, though.
-...I was, wasn't I?
-You've been like this for as long as I've known you. But it's strange, you were the Golden Child, and all the words about him said he was a boy of great cheer.
-A facade, I assure you.
-What were you like...when your mother was alive?
-...that was a lifetime ago. A small child with my name and face perished with her.
-You told me that everyone in that town hated you.
-Irregardless. I had her, and so I was happy.
-...I wish I could be that close to someone...
-Be glad you're not. All love must end. That's a matter of fact.
-No, relationships end. But love goes on. I would think someone with such an affinity for art would know that.
-What do you mean?
-Well, all this art, all these creations, are works of love. It doesn't matter if it's romantic love, familial love, platonic love, love for a higher power...it all endures to this day.
-...so then when I destroyed the treasures...I was destroying love itself.
-Jiri! That's not what I meant!
-Then what did you mean?
-...as long as they existed at all...the love that led to their creation lives on.
-But none shall recall them, so it never mattered.
-It mattered to the artists. Their love was so strong that they had to share it with the world. They didn't care if no one saw it, they only cared to express their passion.
-But what's the point of creating such a thing if you're just babbling to yourself?
-You keep a diary, right? It's the same thinking. They tried to record how they felt about something, in the same way you do. And your diary is private. I mean, you requested once that I destroy it if you should die.
-When I die, Veronica. All things end, and human lives are especially transient.
-Then why collect?
-Pardon?
-Why surround yourself with beauty if you're just going to die?
-Because it...it makes me think of other worlds. Other things that may be.
-Like dreams?
-Exactly...like a fond fantasy, one in which I wish to immerse myself forever.
-...so you do it because it brings you peace...
-I suppose. But it's more than that...I feel as though I really can go there, like it's just beyond my grasp.
-But if life is as 'transient' as you say, then why bother? Even if you attain it, it won't last. So why do you do it?
-I'm not certain, actually. I've asked myself that same question a million times, and cannot form a better answer than 'because it exists'.
-Maybe, then...maybe that's enough.
-Perhaps. Perhaps the reason lies in the doing. Perhaps the actions themselves are enough, and there are no real answers.
-......so you should enjoy what you have in life, right?
-I don't know. That would mean that there is no reason to aspire to greater things...as I said, this is how all my thoughts sound of late.
-Nothing can change who you are.
-I'm not so certain about that.
-Every experience makes you unique.
-That's not always a good thing, you know. I've always been like this, even with mother. Only then, I didn't care. Perhaps, then, something good did come out of losing her--I lost that unconditional love. I could have been a sociopathic killer, and she still would have loved me, so I never would know when I did wrong. I never had anything to fear with her, but the world is full of fear.
So anyway, yeah. Uh...yes, I'm also aware that it cuts off mid-thought. I was disrupted when writing it and couldn't make anything else work.
***
-So what will you do now?
-I...don't know...
-Do you know your options?
-Not particularly. I suppose all that's left is to die.
-Jiri, you can't mean that.
-Don't fret, I shan't do it myself. But I shan't do anything to prevent it, either.
-...why do you say such things?
-Because they are the only things in my mind.
-Why?
-I lost everything, Veronica. The material things I can build again, but my reputation is forever ruined.
-You were like this before that, though.
-...I was, wasn't I?
-You've been like this for as long as I've known you. But it's strange, you were the Golden Child, and all the words about him said he was a boy of great cheer.
-A facade, I assure you.
-What were you like...when your mother was alive?
-...that was a lifetime ago. A small child with my name and face perished with her.
-You told me that everyone in that town hated you.
-Irregardless. I had her, and so I was happy.
-...I wish I could be that close to someone...
-Be glad you're not. All love must end. That's a matter of fact.
-No, relationships end. But love goes on. I would think someone with such an affinity for art would know that.
-What do you mean?
-Well, all this art, all these creations, are works of love. It doesn't matter if it's romantic love, familial love, platonic love, love for a higher power...it all endures to this day.
-...so then when I destroyed the treasures...I was destroying love itself.
-Jiri! That's not what I meant!
-Then what did you mean?
-...as long as they existed at all...the love that led to their creation lives on.
-But none shall recall them, so it never mattered.
-It mattered to the artists. Their love was so strong that they had to share it with the world. They didn't care if no one saw it, they only cared to express their passion.
-But what's the point of creating such a thing if you're just babbling to yourself?
-You keep a diary, right? It's the same thinking. They tried to record how they felt about something, in the same way you do. And your diary is private. I mean, you requested once that I destroy it if you should die.
-When I die, Veronica. All things end, and human lives are especially transient.
-Then why collect?
-Pardon?
-Why surround yourself with beauty if you're just going to die?
-Because it...it makes me think of other worlds. Other things that may be.
-Like dreams?
-Exactly...like a fond fantasy, one in which I wish to immerse myself forever.
-...so you do it because it brings you peace...
-I suppose. But it's more than that...I feel as though I really can go there, like it's just beyond my grasp.
-But if life is as 'transient' as you say, then why bother? Even if you attain it, it won't last. So why do you do it?
-I'm not certain, actually. I've asked myself that same question a million times, and cannot form a better answer than 'because it exists'.
-Maybe, then...maybe that's enough.
-Perhaps. Perhaps the reason lies in the doing. Perhaps the actions themselves are enough, and there are no real answers.
-......so you should enjoy what you have in life, right?
-I don't know. That would mean that there is no reason to aspire to greater things...as I said, this is how all my thoughts sound of late.
-Nothing can change who you are.
-I'm not so certain about that.
-Every experience makes you unique.
-That's not always a good thing, you know. I've always been like this, even with mother. Only then, I didn't care. Perhaps, then, something good did come out of losing her--I lost that unconditional love. I could have been a sociopathic killer, and she still would have loved me, so I never would know when I did wrong. I never had anything to fear with her, but the world is full of fear.